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Text of the page (random words):
il 4 2020 by a frog at large this is new normal under lockdown in march 2020 weird stuff missing from the supermarket physical distancing fear and a multitude of acts of kindness categories covid 19 diary tags anniversary covid 19 day 7 anxiety published on march 27 2020 march 27 2020 by a frog at large today s been a hard day i miss normal life i miss not being afraid i miss people and talking and going out nothing particular has happened i ve just been tearful and lonely all day i more categories covid 19 diary tags anxiety covid 19 daily diary diary mental health covid 19 diary day 3 4 no biscuits published on march 24 2020 march 24 2020 by a frog at large day 3 dear diary no one should have to homeschool children whilst also trying to fit in 7 5 hours of work i m not humanly possible and what s worse no biscuits in the house categories covid 19 diary tags covid 19 daily journal dialy diary social distancing day 1 and 2 the beginning published on march 22 2020 march 22 2020 by a frog at large 2 comments dear mummy happy mothers day i love you so much i love you two bits are we going out for dinner or lunch of breakfast from marvellous amazing and beautiful lucie xxx yes i am going to be super creative and totally unique and keep an isolation diary so you can all see inside my tediously mundane life one day we can all look back and observe the gradual unravelling of my consciousness into raving madness as it is ravaged by the relentless demands of bored hungry kids you re welcome and see you on the other side day 1 yesterday 21 march 2020 it s the weekend so we are doing nothing at all as per the usual what bliss let s do it again tomorrow and the day after and the day af dear god what hell have we plunged into let me start with a disclaimer i myself can do nothing without a routine without routine i will just plunge into an endless cycle of reading and tv bingeing occasionally interspersed by guilt without routine i am aimless and utterly without self discipline i know this i m not proud of it but it is what it is the only thing that makes me actually bloody good at my job is the prospect of money and also that i like helping people but let s face it money and the fear of getting sacked are really strong incentives we are starting strong and i am going to rule at this social distancing working from home with kids stuff i decided to switch off social media after lunch because it was driving me crazy and i settled on the sofa to read badgerman revelled in the fact that he might also get some reading done unprecedented scenes people this is unknown territory he is shitting it though i can tell uncertainty does not sit well with him at all although of course i am guessing this because he is keeping it all very close to his chest being a maths teacher in secondary he s got to go in on monday to support children of key workers but it might be his only day in and he will do remote teaching for all of his classes with so far zero clue as to how it s all going to work i sent the girls out to the garden to clean the trampoline and pick up broken twigs and branches leftover by the various storms we ve had since before christmas it s a bright sunny day but freezing cold and windy and they are over the novelty of it in 10 minutes but would also like to do some planting i defer for when it s warmer and we don t risk all our seeds getting blown away soon please god let it be soon amen i m working out a loose plan of action for monday when i am supposed to do 7 5 hrs of work remotely with the girls roaming in the house far away from the office maybe something like this 7 30 am 8 30 am get up breakfast brush teeth hair get dressed 8 30 am 9 am chores make bed tidy bedroom laundry 9 am 10 am pe yoga trampoline make this last as long as possible 9 30 10 30 am reading writing maths no electronics i m hoping the school will give me some clue so i can just assign them some exercises 10 30 11 30 am something creative drawing painting building baking lego challenge youtube tutorials by the way e has made a 42 day drawing challenge suitable for ages 4 and all abilities it s fabulous and you can get it for free on my facebook page 11 30 1 pm tv lunch do whatever you want 1 pm 2 pm stuff with electronics research project hit the button times tables rock stars bbc bitesize horrible histories blue planet type documentary 3 pm 5 pm gardening walk to the countryside if we are still allowed zoom and emails with friends daily journal 1 family board game 5 pm 6 pm free time so probably roblox and youtube videos 6 8 pm dinner and movie 8 9 pm kids wind down get ready for bedtime 9 pm gin and tonic wine icecream we can laugh together when it all crumbles to nothing in the next 48 hours day 2 mother s day my anxiety has been all over the place this last week it s fear pure and simple and it crops up here and there and there isn t really anything for it for one thing it s not irrational fear so what re you gonna do tiredness has been particularly high so i stocked up on floradix tablets vitamins and iron but i still found that by 6 pm my entire body was starting to seize up from sheer exhaustion don t underestimate the power of stress to affect your body at every level my main advice here is don t ignore your body listen to what it s telling you and look after it i ve booked myself into a free online social media marketing course and i m joining into a yoga class a singing warm up group and an exercise class to musical theatre routines if i don t fit in some fun things to do for me i am going to turn into ms trunchbull and things are going to get ugly and let s just say there are so very random things on offer online at the moment it s a bright and sunny day again today spring is finally here i was treated to loads of beautiful cards and bacon and egg muffins the girls are out playing limbo hop we are going to get through this categories covid 19 diary tags covid 19 daily journal mental health planning planning for the end of the world published on march 14 2020 march 14 2020 by a frog at large leave a comment photo by dimitri karastelev on unsplash i don t know about you but life has been a bit surreal these last couple of days as coronavirus cases increase so does the sense of impending doom on thursday in particular as we waited for the announcement coming out of the cobra meeting our office felt like that bit in titanic just before the ship hits the iceberg or the moment before the ship breaks in two you know something is going to happen you don t know when or what or how but there is a shift in the atmosphere i think the term is pregnant with expectation as it happens nothing has actually changed and no one knows yet whether that s a good or bad thing as with most things with this government you re not sure whether their choice to delay the implementation of more stringent measures is the right thing which is entirely possible or if they are catastrophically incompetent living in a state of such uncertainty is not comfortable is it most of us are pretty worried even as we try to rationalise our fear by trying to put things into perspective i ve seen the list on facebook ranking all the other terrible things that people are constantly dying of with covid 19 towards the bottom of the page cosily nestled between leishmaniasis yeah me neither and yellow fever yep i feel so cheered up right now knowing we ve just added a new item to the top 20 death menu all things considered i m doing pretty well my phobia is more directly linked to vomiting bugs so i m not experiencing high levels of anxiety just the normal kind for the occasion not great but better than nearly passing out i m not too worried for myself or the children or indeed badgerman whose immune system strengthened by years spent in the midst of dirty teenagers pretty much guarantees he will get to look after us all should we catch the virus if you ve clicked on the post thinking i was going to tell you how to plan for the apocalypse i m sorry to disappoint i have not been bulk buying for the end of the world neither will i start bulk buying now it is a terrible selfish idea so don t do it my existing brexit stockpile however a small affair i ve been working on for the last few months in preparation for the worse case scenario of no deal end of transition without a working eu trade deal has showed itself to be a nice bit of foresight but not quite foresighted enough not least because up to the 31st january just gone we were well on the way to building a nice little fort of toilet paper around the bog however since that date we have slowly but surely wiped our way through it because i thought it wouldn t be needed for another few months oh the irony this said should things quickly escalate further aside from having to hunt for the early leaves of spring to wipe our butts we will be able to keep going at home for a while thanks to the b stockpile we have enough rice pasta tinned chopped tomatoes and olive oil to last a few weeks it s a sad coincidence but the covid 19 crisis has been quite informative on this giving us an insight into the products that might disappear fastest from our supermarkets should the worst come to pass aside from the overnight disappearance of all toilet paper hand wash and soap people in my area have also panic bought painkillers dry pasta but not pasta sauce and to my surprise antipasti i never thought tinned sun dried tomatoes peppers and artichokes would be the first to go they are not on my emergency food list in fact i can t even picture what kind of emergency list needs antipasti on it darling please don t forget the tinned peppers you know the tapenade doesn t taste right without them i ve seen the neighbours underground bunker and they have a whole shelf for the caviar with that in mind when the threat of contamination subsides and the shops return to normal i ll restart the brexit stockpiling one extra item in every shop not bulk buying never bulk buying and in addition to starting again with the toilet paper pile i m also planning to add salt and flour to the list so we can make our own bread and pizza dough you may think it s all a big over reaction and it may be i know i d rather play it safe and find myself mid january 2021 with too many tins of lentils rather than face the alternative i m not planning for the end of the world but i am prepping for a few weeks disruption if the current situation has made you rethink your brexit plan but you don t know where to start fear not wait until the current health crisis abates then think again and you don t have to work it out yourself thankfully clever people have done it already like jack monroe s brexit stockpile post it covers all the basics and more categories brexit tags anxiety brexit planning stockpile brain dump published on march 7 2020 march 6 2020 by a frog at large leave a comment photo by johannes plenio on unsplash it s been a long time since i last wrote on the blog it s not for lack of time or even for lack of wanting at least theoretically but when it comes down to it my heart just hasn t been in it i haven t really been able to explain why until recently when i had a bit of a lightbulb moment during one of my processing stuff at people and do interrupt me with insight if you get some monologues over lunch with a friend i used to love blogging it was fun and challenging and it was mine at the heart of it was this life i had carved for myself in the uk and through blogging i expressed my love for it i shared things that caught my attention and journaled my attempts at navigating the quirks of cultural differences whilst retaining my french identity through well food mostly then the very terrible 2016 tm happened and frankly i haven t recovered one of the most striking outcomes was that for the first time in my life i had issues with my mental health that i couldn t directly blame on my childhood i mean what the hell is that about at first when things started going wrong and i lost the momentum to write i was just too busy living the things then when the dust settled i had a diagnosed phobia and mild anxiety i was depressed and my brain was a fog and it s now been going on for years in the overwhelm i ve tried to find ways to cope and that s led to lots of reading and watching tv which worked very well as a numbing protection from the outside world but adversely for the same reason is now a real challenge to come out from so my life s both fine and a complete mess on the surface i just go about things in a normal way the day to day with the kids and work are usually good the shouty dash out the door in the morning can t find clean socks need dressing up outfit now good normal physically i have occasional spikes of anxiety because of the phobia that mess up my digestive system for days and disrupt my sleep patterns i feel slightly nauseous a lot of the time but at least the stress induced rash on my legs i had the whole of spring and summer 2017 has gone small victories i turned 40 last month i am totally fine with that and i suspect i am going to enjoy this decade from a me point of view the world might still yet descend into absolute chaos this said for a while now i have been pondering the fact that i still don t really know what i m about as a person in particular i wish that i had a thing that i was passionate about and could see myself running with in the long term that s not anything to do with my children it s that old chestnut of searching for meaning i guess i have friends who have found their niche or a new career they love in their 30s and 40s and i am increasingly aware that i don t have much to show for myself i ve never been ambitious or driven and there hasn t been anything that has motivated me enough to be proactive about it apart from leaving church but that s one rabbit hole i won t go down here it s too way off topic for this blog i feel like i could enjoy something to do with social justice but only if i could work on it online and not require lots of face to face with people because hello introvert people are the worst but i also want to help here but back to my blogging hiatus the thing with the blog is that brexit has tainted all the things that it was about it has thrown my identity and my sense of belonging into disarray and in this new precarity incessant media negativity and endless political limbo i can t write breezily about the differences between the two cultures i straddle anymore it s too painful and i feel all this loss and nothing is as it was much like the author of this routed article and riley in the pixar movie inside out there is a before and after and my daily experience is all mixed up now with a heavy dose of sadness and loss my thoughts about england have a weight to them they didn t have before and i know that i can t write as i once did at least not now so this is where i am i want to reclaim this space i used to love but it is tangled up in my bat...