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osition in this dilemma the deciding vote in coming to any decision i ll be pondering this for awhile sharing is caring tweet share on tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading posted in library science tagged banned books week 5 comments april 2 2015 by andy fatherhood libraryland and other incomplete thoughts i managed to make it through the whole month of march without noting that it was the six year anniversary of this blog well without publically noting like i am doing right now it s a bit of a wild ride down memory lane to look at those blog posts in hindsight the different styles of blogging that i was trying the speed and sheer volume of blog posts i posted at the time and the development of many professional and personal issues in those short years when i started writing here i had only been a employed librarian for eighteen months married to my first wife and living in my grandmother s house after she had passed now i am the head of reference in my hometown where i am also a resident married to my second wife and awaiting the arrival of our first child the intervening years have seen awards accolades missteps and recoveries personally accepted as natural ups and downs within the rhythm of life in taking personal inventory it s undeniable that library librarians and library issues have been downgraded as a priority in my life it s not that they aren t important but they no longer take precedence over other aspects of my life i can t tell if this is simply a product of different life priorities the change in the online librarian world the history and experience of the past few years or a combination of everything i m blinded by the bias of being in the center of my own personal world making all measurements as they relate to myself so i can just try to speak as plainly as possible and muddle through all of the things going through my head fatherhood so far has been exciting yes an astute observer may note that i am not the one carrying the child a biology impossibility that was determined a long time ago by evolution but for me the sentimental emotions i have been experiencing towards this tiny unborn person are ones that i haven t had in a very long time i feel hopeful without the looming specter of depression excited without antagonizing my anxiety and just for lack of a better expression a more complete person i don t lay awake at night anymore pondering my mortality in the company of philosophical demons prodding me with insecurity it s a peace of mind that i have not had in a very long time i wouldn t say that i don t have concerns and fears but i feel like i have some perspective on them it s hard to torment oneself with questions like what kind of man will he become when the most immediate developmental benchmark will be when he is able to hold up his own head i can worry about the former but the latter is the more pressing concern i can t let myself get drawn into questions that are much further down the path when a the present requires more of my immediate attention and b there is an entire lifelong journey towards that overarching question one that will not be answered within my lifetime right now i can say that my fatherhood is limited to hunter gatherer mode with a side of personal maid i get things whether it is the phone charger from upstairs or a bag of a particular kind of chips from the local convenience store no matter what time of day as the wife heads into the last eight weeks i ve taken over most of the chores that require physical activity vacuuming shopping washing dishes etc since i can t physically contribute to the growth process of our child this is how i help out i ve been told this is an exception to other people s experiences with their partner which makes me both confused and sad to this kind of antiquated behavior i m sharing this not so much as a pat on my own back but as a statement to be shown by others to get their partners more active via example and or shaming seriously get your shit together in my librarylife i m just trying to get things completed parked or set on auto pilot in preparation for baby woodworth i have a couple of projects going on with njla that i d like to get squared away before may i d like to get at least one author working on an article for the journal of creative library practice and i have some projects at the library that will need to hit their benchmarks before the first of may it s fair to say that there is a lot of my plate as it is which leaves blogging on the furthest back burner for the mildly curious i m only able to write this because i am off today and i got the time between chores from my perspective there doesn t really seem to be same level of interest in any form of public intellectual kinds of blogs articles or columns anymore it has become very niche addressing one area of librarianship very well such as the storytime underground and various book blogs this is not a bad thing but represents the beauty of internet diversity which connects people to their specific needs it s only a bad thing for me a person who likes to address broader issues that span across the professional realm based on my changing priorities even that bad part happens to be convenient perhaps as my cynical heart tells me there is a boredom factor to what appears to be the inherent cycle of libraryland topics the value of the degree the condition of the job market the apparent inability to act on basic principles and fundamental values and other issues operate on a biblio celestial calendar they zoom into sight remarked upon at length then slingshot their way back into the depths of rhetoric space doomed to their eventual return trajectory even antagonists like kleinman follow a mobius strip of stale accusations attempting to build mountains out of molehills anthills in a vain attempt for an iota of legitimacy i just can t keeping repeating the same discussions arguments and interactions without feeling like i m in a constant state of moving old bones to new graves even before the grass has grown on the current one it s worse than insanity it s a sisyphean hell of our own making and choosing i d like to think i m making a difference in moving those conversations along but it feels more like a reinforcement of the status quo but then again maybe i m wrong in closing i can say that after six years i may have the least amount of certainty where this blog is going i do want to write about fatherhood as it develops for me i m coming up on one year in my position and i have many reflections about becoming a supervisor so there is content ahead but who knows when it will appear in the meantime i thank everyone for their support comments and their readership i ll see you around sharing is caring tweet share on tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading posted in library science personal tagged fatherhood librarianship 2 comments february 17 2015 by andy reconsidering the think tank note this post was originally written when the group had been changed to closed meaning it could be not viewed except by members that has been reversed as of the moment of publication but i still wanted to post this as is a with a click of a button the ala think tank is gone well gone is a relative term here since it still exists but as a closed facebook group the days of drama voyeurism are not necessarily gone but now you have to join the group in order to see what the fuss is about i m sure it won t be a loss to the lives of many librarians provided they have even heard about the group whether through direct contact or rumor but this sudden move and the online reaction to it has made me waxing philosophical about the group and what it means i remember being asked if i wanted to be part of the first group that would become the think tank a collection of individuals looking to find a better cheaper way to attend an ala conference it was the summer of 2010 and the annual professional get together was being held in alarmingly steamy washington dc i was attending because it was the year of my mover shaker award as well as being a conference within easy travel distance i declined the offer for mostly personal reasons that i won t go into here but i do recall a number of stories told afterward to vastly oversimplify it i missed a hell of a party when the facebook incarnation came along i was eager to be a part of it these were my creative peers people who look at the librarian world with just enough tilt to skew the perspective being slightly less cynical and more idealistic this brand of professional iconoclasm drew me right in i was less drawn to the party hard side and more to the make it happen an unflappable belief that the system cannot keep good ideas and concepts down forever i don t have any specific memories from that time only good feelings about the group and the topics skipping to the present i can say i ve left the group twice now both times were out of a sense of frustration from message threads with individuals that i will very generously refer to as intractable i don t think i ll be looking to join again unless it s an important enough cause or purpose that i feel should get the attention of the group but as i sit here and think about the group there are some observations i want to make first for all the fuss the group is rather tame even dull at times between the giant threads that fuel the librarian drama engine there is a lot of pretty normal posts people asking about summer reading applying for mls programs talking about news articles library memes and other mundane material are the general daily output for the group it reads like any message board online people post something some comment others like and eventually it slides down the page into facebook oblivion not exactly a den of scum and villainy that should be burned to the ground second when there is controversy it reads nearly exactly like the comments for your average internet story the original issue whatever it may be eventually turns into a full spectrum analysis of all potential tangential issue in its most infamous example the question of should i hook up with other librarian at a conference became a commentary on society gender professionalism sexuality and power structures it escalated well beyond the original question itself and became a bloody arena for clashing personal beliefs while there are excellent arguments for the inclusion of such topics in the thread as it does flesh out related elements in coming to an answer it took the thread into enough tangential areas to make nearly any answer completely moot it was less of a struggle between consensual adults doing what they want to do versus professionalism within a relatively small community a personal puzzle requiring extensive context and more of a personal conflict of i m right you re wrong or worse you shouldn t be allowed to say or think those things thus the think tank s reputation was made not for the debate of ideas but the conflict of individuals taken in the larger context it is simply not so third for a profession that is a proclaimed defender of free speech it certainly doesn t seem to recognize it when it sees it in the wild one of the main faults that is commonly cited is that use of real names in discussions generally summed up as how can that person put their name those words literally this is the principle of free speech being exercised and it is seen as a complete detriment this is not to say that there shouldn t be social consequences to such expression there should be naturally but to leery when someone actually acts on it is rather troublesome we fight for people to speak their minds openly but balk at the actual practice given our aversion to anonymous speech through the general contempt for bloggers like the annoyed librarian there seems to be no acceptable answer personally i see it as a symptom of how the profession can t handle the many conflicts that freedom of speech raises to me free of speech is not beautiful like a butterfly or a sunset but tied tightly to the fringes of popular ideas thoughts and concepts it is hate and fear offensive and awful troublesome and anxious an act that arises from speaking out against governments and societal institutions to the offensive vulgar and profane writings and utterances of individuals in reality it s a daily fight and unlike the simplistic affection associated with banned books week there is no romance to it in the past i was someone who said that they would never hire someone who posted in the ala think tank that s only a partial truth it would really depend on what they had to say it would have to be something so detrimental so completely outrageous that i would have to question the inherent character of the poster otherwise i don t really care finally while ala think tank welcomes everyone it is not a community for everyone like listservs committees and bad dates it will not fit everyone s interests time and or purpose this is neither a good or bad it just is imagining that it would be better with you or conversely without someone else is a fruitless exercise if it s not your cup of tea then it s best to simply move on one aspect that can t be denied is the potential influence that the group can exert in the coming years in taking their membership numbers at face value against the total number of library jobs in the us 148 000 jobs and 11 400 alatt members it s roughly 7 of the total librarian population granted the use of those numbers is based on pretty speculative presumptions but i don t think that that reality is more than 2 lower for comparison ala membership is around 55 000 members 37 and it is one of the largest if not the largest librarian organizations in the world we can fiddle around with the numbers all we want but it can t be ignored that it has broad representation including leadership positions within the ala organization as well as the clout to bring ala presidential candidates to the forum to court votes it has influential members who can act on both a national and state level in terms of actions and initiatives nevermind the countless state association positions that alatt members hold it has all the mechanisms to influence the current and next generation of librarians regardless as to how people feel about it this tail can wag the dog i hope this post gives people an objective look at the think tank as a whole i m not here to simply praise it nor bury it in its problems but to give it a frank look once more from that rental house in hot washington dc summer they have built something sprawling it s easy to dismiss but it would be foolish to ignore there is much potential a commodity that should not be squandered these days i m still curious to see how it unfo...