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has got to stop playing with sympathy cards and start living life and be happy with what they have and be happy with what others have life is so so much than just blaming people so that you can get away with things life is so so much more than what happened in the past life is what you have now in your hands its about living it now circumstances have changed us we are now married married isnt just living together marriage is an institution a sacret union between two marriage is sharing loving caring relying trusting and everything else in between everyone should resepct and honour and protect that i am not just zaza i am a wife and with that comes a lot of responsibilities as well i ve learnt some and i will continue learning circumstances have changed our priorities are much different than before we were married we are now a family we want and wish only the best things for our family we want out son to grow up with values strong values which comes from solid roots we want him to be loved sincere genuine love any parent would protect their family with all their might if one thinks we ve turned dull and boring well it s your shout our priorities have changed we re no longer enjoy the single life we once had we now think of our families and our responsibilities if that s what they call boring i suppose we are then but we re comfortable and happy with this pace of life everyone moves and grows according to time circumstances have changed us we now live here unfortunately for some away from them us being here unfortunately means things will be slightly difficult for them sadly some are not so encouraging as others circumstances have changed and some people just refuse to accept and respect that but beneathe all that i am still me and hardy is still hardy i m certain i am still the girl that everyone used to know i am still very much grounded i am still that malay girl who wears her favourite blue tana lawn baju kurung at home doing her chores and stuff i still speak malay to my friends i still remember where i come from my roots are still very strong and i intend to keep it that way the only difference is we are now wiser and we can see what happend in the past quiet clearly now and better ourselves some people have the wrong impression of me some people blame me instead of those circumstances i suppose i ve come to terms with it well i dont blame them i just sympathize with them for not knowing the whole story and refuse to take the good in everything i am living my life grateful and thankful with every bit that i have back when i was small i ve always been taught to be pandai pandai mum and dad would remind me all the time when someone comes to our house make yourself useful go to the kitchen and make them drinks pandai pandai pergi dapur buat air you dont need to be told pandai pandai in english it means well understood when something falls pick it up without having to be asked to pandai pandai gi kutip tak payah kena suruh if you see a mess in the living room pandai pandai kemas clean it up wihout having to be told to when you go visiting pandai pandai bawak diri pergi rumah orang behave when you re at someone else s home now that i m a wife and a mother they d always say pandai pandai jaga suami ngan aidan take care of both of them get where i m heading well today i ve been told that not everybody knows the term and knows how to pandai pandai do you i practise a lot of pandai pandai when i make a bowl of maggi curry for hardy i pandai pandai put a tissue next to it just incase his nose gets watery when i see hardy s bag downstairs and i know he wants it upstairs i pandai pandai bring it upstairs for him doing him a favour so that he doesnt have to carry it himself but being too overly pandai pandai sometimes doesnt help too haha you just need to know the boundaries and that s very very important now i have to pandai pandai brush all those things off and pandai pandai deal with it and not be affected by it anymore life is full of challenges some gets them early some will face them slightly later in life some are fortunate than others while some struggling to deal with it its important to be a pair a pair of husband a wife where both compliment each other hardy says i think with my heart most of the time i think he s right its nice to get a balance when one has a better half thank you thank you for checking up on me for all your genuine love and concern for those emails asking me to write next post is going to be a cheerful one promise sorry for the very long silence i just had to go away for a while and live life always i thank you for reading and as always sending you all my love promise it will be a cheerful post next time at 21 03 21 comments monday 5 january 2009 a goodbye to a good man the remaining quarter of 2008 passed by pretty fast dont you think so december s been pretty hectic for me and the last couple of weeks of december was an emotional one i prepared a few gifts for our closest friends for christmas some i managed to get them out and some i didnt i should really be much more organized next year but one special gift and a special wish was specially for our next door neighbour the de vries their house was so quiet since i was stuck indoors with the bug i did notice that there was less action goin on no cars going in and out the blinds in their living room are all the time shut we normally waive to john from the car or when coming home from ourwalks but the shutters were down john and angelie havent been out walking as well we havent waived nor have we been saying hellos to any of the de vries for quite a while i have bought another 4 packets of lemongrass for john knocked on their door but there wasnt an answer i could sense that something was wrong a couple of days just before christmas rob their youngest son had told us that john was brought to leuven hospital for some complications almost a week ago the same time i was down with my flu bug my spirits went stright down i went all quiet as usual every christmas eve we d always get something for them we told rob that we d pass it for his next visit which was suppose to be on christmas day he said that john would want to rest that day on the eve and ask for the boys to come on christmas day we heard them going out that night and didnt see them coming home till the next morning on christmas morning we woke up and checked if any of their cars are still at home hardy went quickly to their house to send the presents to the de vries hardy came home with a numb and sad look on his face he then broke the news to me gently just after midninght in the early mornings of christmas day 25th of december 2008 our dear neighbour our good friend john de vries passed away i couldnt control my tears he was a good man a very good man he fought hard the last month passed by so quickly and the last time i was with john i remembered we were laughing and smiling that s how i want to remember him always he had been incredibly nice to us he had been more than welcoming to us he was like a father figure and he d always on the look out for us i will always remember meeting him for the very first time he was one of the reasons why we bought the house john was one of the kindest nicest warmest bravest man that i know we love him dearly and we will miss him and his jokes so so much it must be hard on angelie i can only imagine how she s feeling she s been such a rock since john s diagnosis i honestly trully admire her she still smiles her normal smile she still cares about other things she s been so so strong throughout she s unbelievable when you re new to a country you d want that sense of comfort you d want to be and feel safe you d want to have the right company trustable people around you you d want to be welcomed i felt every bit of that from john and his family i feel so honoured to have gotten to know him i m a very emotional person and i dont take these kindda news too well sometimes especially to those who have left such a big impact in my life seeing his van next door is still difficult for me aidan calls out for john everytime he sees the van and everytime he calls for john i d cry i d have a lump in my throat everytime we mention him he was such a good man last couple of days angelie dropped by and just before she left she said something that will always make me smile and smile even wider when i think of john she said john loved us loved us very much here s to john thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts for your beautiful friendship support and love you ve been nothing but wonderful to us we will always remember the things you have said and stories you have shared with us your stories your jokes your smile and our fond memories together will always be in our hearts we will miss you i just didnt have the mood to blog since i havent even been checking my emails i wanted to put up a post wishing happy holidays to all but that and with some other news i needed to feel better first i sincerely hope and pray that all of us will have a better year filled with lots of happiness joy good fun and fond memories and of course good health thanks guys for reading i ll upload some winter photos for us to smile soon i m off to get meself a box of tissues now and enjoy our white scenary form our window at 14 45 17 comments saturday 20 december 2008 r d r rain rest run i ve had plenty of those lately plenty of rain for the past week not much fun but i was stuck indoors anyway i ve had plenty of rest wait till you read d and plenty of run run well run is my favourite song this winter undoubtedly the tune the tone is just right for me to listen to it again and again and again in this gloomy weather with me being d d down demam dreadful those 3 are the reasons why i ve been quiet it is absolutely dreadful and at times yes i wish i could run from it all the bug seems to be spreading really fast and to almost everybody i told myself that i cant let it run in me but it did somehow despite my strong fighting will i was flat and poor aidan had to make do with his monday and tuesday without any painting crafting racing and peekabooing with mama hardy was away but i managed to pull myself back up especially when you hear sayang mama i m getting there i m getting stronger now recovering and delighted iwill leave you all with this year s winner of the x factor the show i ve been following every year since will yong won it her single s definitely gonna be a christmas hit what a story for this girl no more x factor nights from this week on sigh alexandra burke single alexandra burke my favourite week of hers my boys are still sleeping it s half past seven in the morning and yes i m up it is still dark outside and guess what its raining dont think we ll be having a white christmas this year i m late on our christmas cards i m going to continue writing and hopefully will get more out today i d better start on those cards before aidan wakes up cheerio at 07 46 7 comments wednesday 3 december 2008 whiter days it s pretty cold here we woke up to some snow showers temp was 1 this morning and then i came up to 3c but it felt like it was still 1 very thick frost on our car windows it is certainly winter this was the amount of snow we had a couple of weeks back certain parts reached up to 6 inches everything was white it was simply beautiful hardy and i went out for a snowball fight and we almost slipped several times who won yeah yeah and so he won we came back feeling cold but content anyway i ve just had a beautiful day with my son today he s been incredibly good since hardy left on his business trip last week and so i ve rewarded him with a trip to toys r us we love browsing we didnt get anything though i m currently teaching him how to browse haha we went on those mickey rides aeroplane rides about 5 of them all together and strangely he didnt want me to put any money in i think he s beginning to have some dutch qualities in him which is not bad at all we did this slightly before dinner and it is now up on our front windows so that the first thing papa will see when he gets out from the cab is his son s work welcoming him home as usual everytime when hardy s away it s always a good mother and son bonding session period and i couldnt be prouder i ve just put him to bed and just before i kissed him goodnight i whispered to him thank you aidan for a beautiful day i had soooooo much fun and what did he say he said welcome my heart melted and i was full of awe thank you thank you all for the anniversary wishes i shall now get my beauty rest and warm hardy s socks as he s coming home in the morning great now i have someone to cuddle and keep me warm in this freezing weather we so need to go out for our anniversary dinner or perhaps i should cook something special for him on second thoughts nah he had too much for the past week we ll go out this time my shout sleep tight everyone i m gonna watch pride and prejudice for the hundredth time and will probably cry for the hundredth time at 22 20 11 comments wednesday 26 november 2008 better half the past 3 years have been simply wonderful it s been a journey an amazing beautiful journey the things that we ve been through together since we got here 3 years ago have pulled us much much closer boy have we been through a lot i ve learnt more and more to be a wife without losing my own self i ve learnt how to love even more i ve learnt how to appreciate even more i ve learnt how to tolarate even more i ve learnt to be patient even more i ve learnt to share and smile even more i ve learnt when to step in and when to just sit back and observe i ve learnt to be even more supportive and understanding i ve learnt to be more positive i ve learnt to be more forgiving i ve learnt to be much calmer i ve learnt to take things lighter sometimes and be less serious i ve learnt to be stronger all this with still being myslef i ve learnt more and more of the term better half now i dont just plan to say it i plan to live up to it i shall try with all my heart and all my might here s to us 3 amazing wonderful years anyone could ever wish for he is indeed my better half still rooted grounded still wangi still as bubbly and sparkly still as sweet and still solid i m now gonna wipe my tears and wish you all all the love in the world for i truly am grateful thankful beyond words for this one h get your ass back here quick safe trip home love you more than you can imagine at 01 43 21 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom about us zazahardy sittard netherlands aidan s mama and papa got married one month later they moved to a country called the netherlands 9 months later a beautiful baby boy named aidan was born while still handling the country and their new life they re now handling baby aidan as well making do with what they have making the best of everything view my complete profile past posts may 1 november 2 october 1 august 2 july 1 march 3 january 1 december 2...