Meta tags:

Headings (most frequently used words):

2007, thursday, july, tuesday, 2008, alfred, the, ok, may, 13, april, 08, september, 20, wednesday, august, 22, monday, 30, 19, 05, about, me, blog, archive, blogger, rhythms, web, wonders,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (171), and (56), was (20), with (17), from (15), but (14), for (14), this (14), she (14), not (14), one (12), about (12), that (12), alfie (11), around (11), all (11), great (10), you (10), there (10), him (9), will (9), been (9), like (9), time (9), have (9), comments (8), posted (8), has (8), his (8), what (8), into (8), they (8), another (7), little (7), out (7), tuth (7), just (7), bit (6), your (6), new (6), 2007 (6), here (6), see (6), world (5), blog (5), country (5), now (5), then (5), had (5), right (5), sort (5), are (5), thought (5), day (5), think (5), back (5), company (5), can (5), trying (5), get (5), off (5), hands (5), hot (5), alfred (5), lake (5), district (5), best (4), place (4), man (4), bloody (4), george (4), years (4), did (4), got (4), any (4), nice (4), thursday (4), hand (4), found (4), could (4), ray (4), her (4), only (4), kin (4), other (4), book (4), without (4), something (4), would (4), wordsworth (4), passion (3), next (3), site (3), lonely (3), 000 (3), 2008 (3), melly (3), today (3), went (3), when (3), brilliant (3), two (3), band (3), read (3), july (3), old (3), which (3), looked (3), glory (3), until (3), last (3), yes (3), were (3), having (3), harry (3), potter (3), money (3), plot (3), how (3), virgin (3), decided (3), really (3), prickly (3), car (3), pavement (3), behind (3), fingers (3), victorian (3), way (3), every (3), where (3), chance (3), being (3), walk (3), fit (3), wall (3), england (3), mate (2), team (2), name (2), green (2), view (2), down (2), under (2), life (2), times (2), stuff (2), everything (2), nut (2), free (2), odd (2), good (2), cream (2), top (2), wandered (2), crowd (2), home (2), few (2), over (2), far (2), gig (2), shoes (2), tombstone (2), lady (2), dentist (2), rock (2), more (2), anyway (2), scale (2), polish (2), myself (2), jaw (2), shoved (2), big (2), flash (2), death (2), looking (2), its (2), pointy (2), understood (2), came (2), 600 (2), cost (2), saw (2), apparently (2), doesn (2), look (2), damn (2), our (2), success (2), final (2), books (2), days (2), too (2), bad (2), suppose (2), forward (2), barry (2), rotter (2), wizard (2), decide (2), work (2), load (2), buy (2), idea (2), corporate (2), boys (2), easy (2), their (2), wouldn (2), come (2), brand (2), high (2), yet (2), sure (2), sir (2), better (2), forget (2), answer (2), questions (2), middle (2), a59 (2), actually (2), hedgehog (2), along (2), own (2), fella (2), centre (2), thing (2), block (2), route (2), put (2), soft (2), underbelly (2), quick (2), hedge (2), garden (2), beyond (2), rolled (2), again (2), past (2), against (2), lift (2), getting (2), single (2), bag (2), full (2), who (2), well (2), million (2), people (2), honest (2), even (2), stair (2), heaven (2), tuesday (2), may (2), bank (2), holiday (2), norwegian (2), walks (2), god (2), looks (2), choice (2), choccy (2), grassmere (2), village (2), cottage (2), double (2), somehow (2), church (2), finish (2), outside (2), simple (2), touch (2), skip (2), beer, toy, tin, trains, nostalgia, culture, mystical, scouser, scary, instant, anagrams, harrass, domain, hunting, cheaper, than, 118, web, wonders, grass, stratford, elspeth, rose, coloured, damiem, crossroads, dilemma, jenny, teacher, attitude, demented, ramblings, tony, cima, councillor, bob, stump, saying, antgrad, tnr, screamingseedster, laphroaig, simon, jack, messing, snowbabies, stinky, thoughts, spencer, simeworld, universe, heart, flip, floppery, squirrels, cutlets, tales, shrubbery, genexcellent, preston, ziggy, rants, byker, space, believe, jonny, biffa, state, side, yatesey, bridget, zone, agony, belle, babs, supermum, cask, conditioned, bolshy, scot, biscuit, occupied, mike, amusing, muses, greg, history, vanessa, fascinatin, edna, wonko, lumberjack, rises, finch, files, brill, cep, blogger, rhythms, 2002, 2003, 142, 2004, 101, 2005, 2006, archive, complete, profile, older, posts, died, aged, seen, perform, kirkland, wine, bar, liverpool, 1980, floppy, fedora, stripey, zoot, suit, tone, john, chilton, feetwarmers, everyone, drunk, including, finished, set, fine, rendition, nuts, issued, appeal, amongst, audience, anyone, marrywarna, georgie, someone, chucked, spliff, disappeared, haze, smoke, wonder, lies, journalist, jazzman, joins, jazz, sky, 216, week, dropped, dead, weeks, ago, seems, professional, steady, tendency, twitch, mean, filling, unbearable, polishing, brush, catches, gum, tickly, hardly, control, after, torture, took, tooth, lower, picture, frame, mouth, lowered, gordon, gun, ceiling, said, legged, room, pressed, button, ten, minutes, later, lightbox, film, gory, special, stick, nodded, places, cracking, hell, talking, blah, blahed, away, end, medical, diagnosis, conversation, slap, floor, sound, hitting, deck, straw, pole, rendered, fairly, sympathetic, response, crew, mentioned, mrs, rummaging, toolbox, hammer, chisel, six, hundred, quid, mad, fix, ahhh, relax, nothing, worry, want, take, taking, trip, wife, sessions, inspired, latest, rowling, sale, friday, shifting, per, second, first, couple, isn, obviously, wanting, graft, toil, trouble, takes, original, might, piggy, worldwide, phenomena, hogwarts, experience, step, baddest, since, adolf, abracadabra, evil, boy, genius, battles, goody, fate, billion, dollar, market, maybe, need, involve, actual, ourselves, give, cash, occasionally, papers, boot, easyjet, because, dared, use, words, novelty, shop, much, threat, those, huge, conglomerates, touchy, aren, mind, alfreda, whizz, incorporate, spanking, stable, finance, easyvirgin, limited, haven, activities, engaged, richard, stelios, start, opening, cheque, don, pens, ridiculous, easykebab, eating, emporium, let, try, bound, fire, spinner, making, scheme, monday, unanswered, civilisation, busiest, build, pyramids, turn, base, metals, gold, viewers, watch, dance, saturday, night, question, struck, wgq, list, hold, bare, running, risk, fistful, puncture, wounds, tootling, minding, business, wandering, line, certain, run, sunrise, die, within, minute, unless, bumped, onto, lull, traffic, guy, straddle, highway, attempt, while, lifesaving, tippy, toed, underneath, lifted, curled, reached, safety, waved, wave, thanks, bloke, muffler, pretty, likely, spot, woody, bordering, wound, fred, flintstone, deliver, stone, bowling, balls, bowled, steep, incline, straight, almost, road, deft, footwork, saved, keepy, uppy, luxury, picked, point, stabbed, handling, red, nails, started, shift, mega, giant, jacket, spud, anywhere, somewhere, ran, drive, brim, 100, year, trees, reckoned, startled, resplendent, flowery, hat, trowel, gardening, gloved, flower, beds, yours, gently, placed, hedgy, bush, left, throb, meter, regulo, 184, wildest, dreams, hetrosexual, 1973, writing, pricks, sweaty, answered, wednesday, august, rather, worryingly, person, know, besides, dyes, snow, white, beard, comely, mid, chestnut, osama, bin, laden, vanity, terrible, things, stability, separated, birth, lodged, claim, tickets, london, sums, correct, 200, still, reckon, worth, gamble, greatest, ever, crossed, led, zeppelin, september, uploading, starting, months, angry, git, lately, told, blood, pressure, calm, prevailing, feeling, quite, whistling, dixie, april, 344, baking, break, shorts, packed, lunches, walking, poles, kendal, mint, cake, bought, 1975, never, used, scenic, yomp, bearded, mountaineer, chris, bonnington, once, described, most, magical, landscape, whole, certainly, fjords, designer, slartibartfast, true, artistic, interpretation, leafing, through, hit, section, shall, fulsome, hard, whether, chocolate, truffle, caramel, nougat, slices, cracknels, piece, fell, walkers, mountaineers, ramblers, opt, traipse, amble, four, miles, landscaped, gorgeousness, seat, englishness, haunt, fantastic, arrive, raining, rods, cats, dogs, virtually, soaked, sunshine, course, sun, comes, crowds, means, half, population, recite, daffodils, poem, feel, rediscover, bygone, meandered, mere, chinese, march, millions, wishing, live, win, lottery, aston, martin, vanquish, pads, york, moritz, sydney, harbour, idyllic, waterside, box, gave, dove, dubya, miss, before, always, rain, dank, dark, depressing, dickensian, parish, oswald, drab, grey, pebble, dash, render, majestic, backdrop, natural, amphitheatre, southern, lakes, grade, listed, building, puts, same, league, salisbury, cathedral, whilst, post, war, prefab, inside, totally, different, early, medieval, retained, rustic, honesty, house, built, circa, 13th, century, graveyard, host, leaden, headstones, himself, scribed, dubbya, sheathed, quill, pen, 1850, basking, reflected, wordsworthsmith, lay, extended, family, crammed, busting, wordsworths, tightly, must, diet, gruel, slice, breeze, bread, iron, fence, separates, unread, masses, master, written, word, reach, formality, queuing, management, systems, jobsworth, telling, ambled, regulation, hour, queue, motorway, didn, matter, spent, part, vowed, return, someday, lakeland, leave, crap, sidebar, main,

Text of the page (random words):
f walks we hit the lake district section shall we go there or there the choice is so fulsome so hard it s like trying to decide whether to have the chocolate truffle or the caramel cream but this being the lake district there are no nougat slices or nut cracknels every single walk is a piece of choccy heaven not being fell walkers mountaineers ramblers or even fit we opt for a nice and easy traipse an amble around grassmere is our walk of choice four miles of landscaped gorgeousness in the seat of englishness and the haunt of wordsworth fantastic we arrive last time i was here it was raining stair rods cats and dogs come to think of it virtually every time i ve been here i ve got soaked but not today today it s wall to wall sunshine of course with the sun comes the crowds and this being a bank holiday means half the population of the country is here all trying to recite wordsworth s daffodils poem all trying to feel lonely all trying to rediscover an england of a bygone time we meandered around the mere and into grassmere village it was like a chinese route march there were bloody millions of us all wishing that we too could live here full time if only we could win the lottery aston martin vanquish pads in new york st moritz and sydney harbour and an idyllic waterside choccy box cottage in the lake district this time we gave dove cottage the home of double dubya for around 10 years a miss we ve been there before to be honest it s always been a way to get out of the rain the place is dank dark and depressing somehow dickensian well i suppose it would be we had a look around the little parish church of st oswald s in the middle of the village this drab church with its odd finish of grey pebble dash render to the outside wall looked somehow out of place against the majestic backdrop of the natural amphitheatre of the southern lakes apparently it s a grade 1 listed building and that puts it into the same league as salisbury cathedral whilst the outside looks like the finish on a post war prefab the inside is totally different simple early medieval it has retained the rustic honesty of a house of god built circa 13th century in the graveyard we found the wordsworth plot in the centre of a host of leaden headstones was the great man himself having scribed for england double dubbya sheathed his quill pen for the final time in 1850 around him basking in the reflected glory of the great wordsworthsmith lay his extended family they only just fit the plot is crammed fit to busting with wordsworths shoved in so tightly they must all have been on a diet of victorian gruel and a slice of breeze block bread a simple iron fence is all that separates the unread masses from the master of the written word you could reach forward and touch the tombstone no formality no queuing management systems no jobsworth telling you not to touch the wordsworth we ambled back to the car and the regulation 2 hour queue to the motorway but it didn t matter it had been a bloody great day spent in a bloody great part of england we vowed to return someday to have a go at another lakeland walk and next time we wouldn t leave it another 30 years posted by alfie at 4 08 pm 344 comments tuesday april 08 2008 i m back will be in uploading a go go starting on thursday alfred has not really been ok for the past few months he has been more like alfred the angry git lately oh and have i told you about my off the scale high blood pressure but calm is now prevailing i m feeling better not quite whistling dixie yet but not far off posted by alfie at 3 38 pm 21 comments thursday september 20 2007 led zeppelin well i ve lodged my claim for one of the 20 000 tickets for the o2 stair lift to heaven gig in london me and 24 million other people that is if my sums are correct i have a 1 in 1 200 chance of getting one but to be honest even if there was just a 1 in a million chance i d still reckon it would be worth the gamble for a chance to see the world s greatest rock band ever everything s crossed posted by alfie at 11 21 am 26 comments separated at birth rather worryingly the only other person i know besides me who dyes his snow white beard to a comely mid chestnut is osama bin laden vanity can do terrible things to a man s stability posted by alfie at 11 19 am 17 comments wednesday august 22 2007 one of the world s great questions answered i found the answer to one of the great unanswered questions of civilisation the other day right in the middle of the a59 one of the busiest days in the country is it how did they build the pyramids no it is not is it can i really turn base metals into gold no it is not is it do they actually get any viewers to watch dance x on saturday night tv no it is not no no the great question that can now be struck off the wgq list is can you really get hold of a hedgehog with your bare hands without running the risk of a fistful of puncture wounds and the answer is yes and no so i m tootling along the a59 minding my own business when i see the little prickly fella wandering along the centre line one thing s for certain it will get run over it will not see another prickly sunrise it will die within the next minute unless i do the right thing i bumped the car up onto the pavement and got out there was a lull in the traffic and the guy behind me had sort of decided to straddle the highway in an attempt to block the route while i did my lifesaving best i tippy toed up behind the hedgehog put my fingers underneath and lifted him up he curled around my fingers with his soft underbelly i reached the safety of the pavement and waved a wave of thanks to the bloke in the car behind me with my brand new prickly muffler so what to do with the little fella then i had to get him off my hands pretty quick a likely spot was found a nice woody hedge bordering the pavement and a victorian garden beyond i wound myself up sort of like fred flintstone about to deliver one of his stone bowling balls i bowled there was a steep incline just beyond the hedge he rolled all the way to the top and then rolled all the way back again straight past me and almost back into the road a deft bit of footwork saved the day i thought about a bit of keepy uppy but decided against it i would have to lift him again but this time without the luxury of getting my fingers into his soft underbelly i picked him up every single little pointy point stabbed into my hands it was like handling a red hot bag of nails without the bag i started to shift him from hand to hand like he was a mega hot giant jacket spud or something where to put him anywhere just somewhere quick i ran up the drive of the victorian garden full to the brim with 100 year old trees i reckoned this was where he came from a startled lady resplendent in a big flowery hat and a trowel in her gardening gloved hand looked up from her work in the flower beds this is yours i think i gently placed hedgy under a bush and left and my hands on the throb o meter around regulo 184 and in my wildest dreams who d have thought that me mr hetrosexual 1973 would be writing about having a load of hot pricks in my hot sweaty hands posted by alfie at 4 10 pm 29 comments monday july 30 2007 another money making scheme my wife and i were having one of our let s try and think of something so damn brilliant it s bound to be a sure fire money spinner sessions the other day we were sort of inspired by the latest success of jk rowling the final harry potter book went on sale last friday she was shifting around 15 books per second for the first couple of days which isn t too bad i suppose obviously wanting the glory and the money without the graft toil trouble it takes to think of another plot as original as harry potter we thought we might sort of piggy back the worldwide phenomena that is the hogwarts experience step forward barry rotter the baddest wizard since adolf abracadabra read how evil boy genius wizard barry rotter battles to the death with goody two shoes harry potter to decide the fate of a billion dollar book market maybe not no we need to think of something that doesn t involve any actual work from ourselves something so brilliant that a company will give us a load of cash just so they can buy the idea from us you occasionally read in the papers about how the corporate boot boys from virgin or easyjet are trying to buy out a little company because they have dared to use the words virgin or easy in their company name the easykebab eating emporium and the virgin on the ridiculous novelty shop wouldn t i d have thought been much of a threat to those two huge conglomerates but they are a bit touchy about it aren t they with this in mind alfreda has come up with a whizz of an idea she s about to incorporate a brand spanking new company into the ok stable of corporate high finance easyvirgin limited we haven t yet decided what activities the new company will be engaged in but i m sure it will be a great success sir richard and sir stelios you d better start opening your cheque books boys and don t forget your pens posted by alfie at 4 53 pm 31 comments thursday july 19 2007 a trip to the dentist i went to see my new lady dentist this week the old one the one i ve been with for 30 years dropped dead 2 weeks ago she seems nice and professional and best of all she has a rock steady hand my old one had a tendency to twitch but not any more if you see what i mean anyway she did a filling and then a scale and polish which i found unbearable it s when the little polishing brush catches your gum it s so damn tickly i could hardly control myself anyway after the torture of the polish she took an x ray of a tooth in my lower right jaw i just want to take an x ray of this tuth it doesn t look right a tuth you re taking an x ray of a tuth yes this tuth here with that she shoved a big sort of picture frame into my mouth and lowered what looked like flash gordon s flash death ray gun down from the ceiling now just relax there s nothing to worry about she said as she legged it out of the room and pressed the button ten minutes later and i m looking at a lightbox with a little bit of film on it my tuth is there in all its gory glory ahhh thought so what what s up then she got out her special pointy stick this tuth do you see this and that and this i nodded in all the right places cracking on i understood what the hell she was talking about she blah blahed away until she came to the end of her medical diagnosis and the only bit of the conversation i understood and to fix your tuth will cost around 600 600 the slap on the floor was the sound of my jaw hitting the deck a straw pole at alfie hq rendered a fairly sympathetic response from the crew that was until i mentioned the cost six kin hundred kin quid are you kin kin mad last time i saw mrs a she was rummaging around the toolbox apparently looking for a hammer and a chisel posted by alfie at 10 43 pm 216 comments thursday july 05 2007 george melly joins the great jazz band in the sky george melly has died today aged 80 i ve seen him perform a few times over the years by far the best gig i went to was when he did the kirkland s wine bar in liverpool around 1980 he was brilliant floppy fedora stripey zoot suit two tone shoes john chilton and his feetwarmers everyone was drunk including the band and george finished the set with a fine rendition of nuts he then issued an appeal amongst the audience has anyone got any marrywarna man for georgie someone chucked him a spliff and he disappeared in a haze of smoke i wonder if his tombstone will read here lies george melly journalist and jazzman nice posted by alfie at 11 55 am 18 comments older posts home about me alfie view my complete profile blog archive 2008 2 05 11 05 18 1 i wandered lonely in a crowd of about 20 000 p 04 06 04 13 1 2007 25 09 16 09 23 2 08 19 08 26 1 07 29 08 05 1 07 15 07 22 1 07 01 07 08 2 06 17 06 24 1 06 10 06 17 1 06 03 06 10 1 05 06 05 13 1 04 22 04 29 2 04 08 04 15 2 03 25 04 01 2 03 18 03 25 1 03 11 03 18 1 03 04 03 11 3 01 21 01 28 2 01 07 01 14 1 2006 35 12 31 01 07 1 11 12 11 19 1 11 05 11 12 1 10 01 10 08 1 09 03 09 10 3 08 27 09 03 1 08 13 08 20 1 08 06 08 13 1 07 30 08 06 1 07 16 07 23 1 07 02 07 09 2 06 25 07 02 1 06 04 06 11 1 05 21 05 28 2 05 14 05 21 2 04 16 04 23 1 04 02 04 09 2 03 05 03 12 2 02 19 02 26 2 02 12 02 19 1 01 29 02 05 1 01 22 01 29 2 01 15 01 22 1 01 08 01 15 2 01 01 01 08 1 2005 101 12 11 12 18 1 12 04 12 11 2 11 27 12 04 1 11 20 11 27 2 11 13 11 20 1 11 06 11 13 3 10 30 11 06 5 10 23 10 30 1 10 16 10 23 3 10 09 10 16 2 10 02 10 09 3 09 25 10 02 2 09 18 09 25 2 09 11 09 18 1 09 04 09 11 3 08 28 09 04 3 08 14 08 21 2 08 07 08 14 2 07 31 08 07 2 07 24 07 31 2 07 17 07 24 1 07 10 07 17 1 07 03 07 10 2 06 26 07 03 1 06 19 06 26 2 06 12 06 19 4 06 05 06 12 2 05 29 06 05 2 05 15 05 22 2 05 08 05 15 3 05 01 05 08 1 04 24 05 01 2 04 10 04 17 2 04 03 04 10 3 03 27 04 03 2 03 20 03 27 3 03 13 03 20 1 03 06 03 13 3 02 27 03 06 4 02 20 02 27 2 02 13 02 20 2 02 06 02 13 3 01 30 02 06 1 01 23 01 30 3 01 16 01 23 2 01 09 01 16 2 01 02 01 09 2 2004 142 12 19 12 26 3 12 12 12 19 1 12 05 12 12 1 11 28 12 05 2 11 21 11 28 2 11 14 11 21 1 11 07 11 14 2 10 31 11 07 5 10 24 10 31 2 10 17 10 24 3 10 10 10 17 3 10 03 10 10 2 09 26 10 03 3 09 19 09 26 3 09 12 09 19 5 08 29 09 05 2 08 22 08 29 3 08 15 08 22 1 08 08 08 15 3 08 01 08 08 2 07 25 08 01 2 07 18 07 25 2 07 11 07 18 3 07 04 07 11 2 06 27 07 04 2 06 20 06 27 2 06 13 06 20 3 06 06 06 13 4 05 30 06 06 1 05 23 05 30 4 05 16 05 23 3 05 09 05 16 4 05 02 05 09 4 04 25 05 02 3 04 18 04 25 4 04 11 04 18 1 03 28 04 04 3 03 21 03 28 5 03 14 03 21 3 03 07 03 14 2 02 29 03 07 3 02 22 02 29 4 02 15 02 22 4 02 08 02 15 4 02 01 02 08 4 01 25 02 01 5 01 18 01 25 3 01 11 01 18 5 01 04 01 11 4 2003 54 12 28 01 04 3 12 14 12 21 4 12 07 12 14 4 11 30 12 07 3 11 23 11 30 2 11 16 11 23 3 11 09 11 16 3 11 02 11 09 4 10 26 11 02 3 10 19 10 26 2 10 12 10 19 4 10 05 10 12 3 09 28 10 05 2 09 21 09 28 2 09 07 09 14 2 08 31 09 07 4 08 24 08 31 1 08 17 08 24 2 08 10 08 17 3 2002 1 11 03 11 10 1 blogger rhythms bloody brill cep blog the cream rises to the top with the finch files 2 he s now a lumberjack but i m ok the world of wonko fascinatin edna vanessa greg the history man mike s amusing muses odd un good un occupied country biscuit blog a bolshy scot cask conditioned blog supermum it s agony from belle babs bridget s p c free zone state side yatesey biffa s blog i believe in jonny b byker s space place ziggy s rants free the preston one genexcellent tales from the shrubbery squirrels nut cutlets flip s floppery a new world in my heart simeworld the universe and everything thoughts of mr spencer stinky stuff s no messing it s the snowbabies jack s stuff life and laphroaig from simon the screamingseedster life times of tnr saying it best from antgrad councillor bob on the stump demented ramblings from tony cima jenny an ex teacher with attitude damiem s crossroads dilemma elspeth s rose coloured vi...