Meta tags:

Headings (most frequently used words):

the, 2015, may, me, right, now, march, february, wednesday, 2013, adoption, on, and, fool, you, to, into, rabbit, hole, monday, 09, friday, 13, 11, thursday, january, 29, 01, saturday, 30, sunday, 20, 2012, icomleavwe, about, blog, archive, mthfr, info, timeline, radio, art, articles, sites, of, note, podcasts, blogs, read, fav, photogs, books, music, so, once, shame, can, get, fooled, again, same, day, nothing, new, report, hcg, land, what, april, showers, bring, flowers, broken, egg, fat, lady, is, starting,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (145), and (91), that (59), was (53), not (34), they (33), but (29), one (26), with (26), for (24), time (23), you (23), have (22), this (20), good (20), then (19), pretty (18), #january (17), 2008 (15), did (15), out (15), after (14), had (14), doubling (14), from (13), there (13), days (13), what (12), about (12), 2007 (12), day (12), february (12), don (12), really (12), like (11), adoption (11), just (11), mthfr (11), all (11), some (11), been (11), know (11), retrieval (11), now (10), get (10), pregnant (10), baby (10), little (10), clinic (10), trying (10), iui (10), ivf (10), can (10), which (10), hours (10), other (9), another (9), yes (9), march (9), may (9), ali (9), say (9), got (9), two (9), won (9), three (9), wednesday (9), new (8), how (8), here (8), eggs (8), again (8), first (8), fsh (8), four (8), comments (8), posted (8), last (8), husband (8), were (8), when (8), said (8), only (8), didn (8), could (8), more (8), transfer (8), place (7), read (7), miscarriage (7), clomid (7), hcg (7), want (7), work (7), try (7), will (7), until (7), egg (7), once (7), going (7), feeling (7), our (6), kid (6), bfp (6), due (6), october (6), november (6), cycle (6), switched (6), into (6), 2013 (6), are (6), those (6), doctor (6), drugs (6), lot (6), made (6), think (6), see (6), since (6), beta (6), right (5), your (5), test (5), back (5), study (5), december (5), april (5), 2015 (5), also (5), forty (5), through (5), make (5), nothing (5), monday (5), years (5), sure (5), very (5), would (5), things (5), because (5), weeks (5), much (5), cells (5), let (5), fertility (5), who (5), done (5), them (5), fool (5), maybe (4), life (4), nurse (4), many (4), est (4), date (4), 2006 (4), second (4), start (4), heparin (4), positive (4), september (4), 2010 (4), looking (4), recurrent (4), loss (4), august (4), started (4), having (4), crazy (4), well (4), finally (4), never (4), went (4), before (4), great (4), might (4), optimistic (4), wanted (4), ivfs (4), natural (4), getting (4), broke (4), doing (4), keep (4), friend (4), she (4), even (4), able (4), wait (4), should (4), convinced (4), past (4), mean (4), sonogram (4), week (4), small (3), down (3), happened (3), decided (3), mind (3), family (3), else (3), happen (3), thinking (3), began (3), high (3), lovenox (3), came (3), boy (3), fall (3), 2011 (3), cancelled (3), next (3), a1298c (3), miscarriages (3), home (3), child (3), heart (3), multiple (3), being (3), pills (3), period (3), levels (3), bit (3), months (3), where (3), put (3), always (3), too (3), feel (3), supposed (3), anyway (3), hard (3), look (3), zona (3), retrieve (3), stomach (3), come (3), mini (3), several (3), main (3), though (3), times (3), any (3), remember (3), normal (3), yeah (3), blood (3), progesterone (3), kind (3), double (3), today (3), results (3), somewhere (3), six (3), totally (3), blast (3), blasts (3), over (3), ever (3), every (3), increase (3), still (3), donor (3), money (3), weird (3), shame (3), full (3), rabbit (3), hole (3), cold (2), nature (2), love (2), parents (2), born (2), adopted (2), books (2), american (2), matter (2), everyone (2), formerly (2), infertility (2), world (2), rate (2), cross (2), cultural (2), pregnancy (2), chemical (2), diagnosed (2), consult (2), surgery (2), laparoscopy (2), hysteroscopy (2), light (2), risk (2), gyn (2), off (2), taking (2), converted (2), begin (2), possible (2), fetal (2), associated (2), ovarian (2), join (2), ask (2), geneticist (2), june (2), july (2), 2012 (2), homozygous (2), complete (2), icomleavwe (2), posts (2), friday (2), turned (2), long (2), reasons (2), list (2), process (2), birth (2), control (2), such (2), waiting (2), morning (2), ago (2), evidence (2), respond (2), wouldn (2), energy (2), something (2), superman (2), either (2), position (2), although (2), wasn (2), old (2), someone (2), fat (2), sunday (2), iuis (2), successful (2), specializes (2), coming (2), seems (2), strangely (2), add (2), ovary (2), felt (2), people (2), pay (2), doesn (2), early (2), broken (2), saturday (2), trouble (2), googling (2), famous (2), best (2), seemed (2), costs (2), yikes (2), sister (2), met (2), him (2), completely (2), doc (2), freeze (2), bunch (2), between (2), treatments (2), etc (2), way (2), month (2), transferred (2), hit (2), retrieved (2), gone (2), managed (2), size (2), hurt (2), retrievals (2), yay (2), call (2), fertilized (2), yesterday (2), excited (2), 26th (2), worried (2), stay (2), 4th (2), calculated (2), around (2), 000 (2), remain (2), stupid (2), everything (2), haven (2), given (2), run (2), point (2), pgd (2), fly (2), most (2), plane (2), 19th (2), seven (2), plans (2), move (2), spent (2), part (2), regret (2), moving (2), massive (2), close (2), anyone (2), fear (2), stage (2), range (2), hour (2), often (2), quite (2), bad (2), skip (2), wincing, night, away, shins, fables, reconstruction, water, mirah, colour, sia, bleeding, diamonds, nicole, atkins, liquored, lacquered, southern, culture, skids, believers, elk, city, jose, gonzales, music, stories, adoptive, boyfriend, voices, collection, works, generation, korea, countries, anna, gaskell, francesca, woodman, dorothy, norman, fav, photogs, sartorialist, olivia, drab, geek, preserve, conceivable, future, relative, choices, nyt, missed, conceptions, bumblebee, password, protected, mama, karen, cheng, snippets, julia, hippogriffs, izzle, pfaff, inconceivable, house, miao, desperately, seeking, delinquent, barefoot, apron, strings, oneliner, words, brooklyngirl, half, baked, cop, dogs, blogs, savage, relax, creating, talk, podcasts, society, assisted, reproductive, technology, find, stats, faroe, islands, has, highest, art, articles, sites, note, chinese, children, twins, separated, babies, become, sisters, america, faces, radio, pos, 2005, third, fourth, seriously, green, 2nd, plus, therapy, official, preg, feb, graduate, sometime, during, summer, fail, 194, prog, amh, options, bfn, 10piui, 2018, neg, timeline, predictive, follicular, activity, genotypes, c677t, cause, community, board, discussion, causes, fun, calculate, bmi, info, 2009, blog, archive, son, currently, numero, dos, treated, folate, vitamin, b12, supplementation, idiopathic, 10th, negative, mail, alicerabbit, gmail, dot, com, view, profile, welcomed, conversation, subscribe, atom, older, birthday, fence, indecision, avoiding, obsessed, conceive, already, ache, benefits, versus, studies, year, pushed, round, couldn, figure, however, kept, five, tested, stimulating, hormones, prematurely, premature, considering, shock, nonetheless, kicker, few, thousand, downing, wheat, grass, juice, yoga, acupuncture, take, folic, acid, fish, oil, whatever, concerned, scary, false, hope, depressing, appear, intention, age, anticipated, bum, deal, missing, whether, tell, lady, starting, comment, hey, apparently, fractured, pellucida, research, via, google, searching, itself, alternately, somewhat, confident, difficult, pushing, suctioning, experience, knowledge, subject, aren, experts, charge, insurance, game, concentrating, anything, imagine, clinics, uber, considered, business, known, thing, pocket, closest, mine, liked, understanding, naturally, isn, interesting, lower, tech, throw, less, likely, recommends, embryos, order, bank, fertilize, ice, perhaps, jack, pot, none, monitored, quality, method, skilled, actually, thinks, timing, late, crestfallen, insistence, pull, talked, nurses, length, recommended, least, drug, produce, badly, strange, spot, practically, jump, abdomen, fyi, their, anesthesia, valium, looked, shower, pending, runty, typically, growing, contain, deep, hoping, spring, showers, bring, flowers, freaking, tad, fingers, bleed, territory, told, generic, concerns, meanwhile, pass, dizzy, happening, chalk, 0000s, righty, thursday, 1300s, lucky, leads, believe, wish, write, ultrasound, 18th, land, detail, wfivfc, inumerable, ended, cry, lobby, conversion, colleague, switching, finishing, switch, ready, give, correctly, shockingly, must, repeated, 2014, south, department, progressively, worse, beginning, healthy, uterine, scraping, endometrial, biopsies, trial, wiling, balked, holidays, subsequent, knew, certaintly, martin, luther, king, nine, 28th, sixteen, 1382, 114, twenty, 6762, 11th, places, expect, within, same, report, brain, terms, idea, contingency, remembering, adopting, donezo, fini, pack, bye, thanks, memories, door, sound, jovial, crying, kicking, myself, making, hell, thought, enjoy, naming, book, need, space, washer, dryer, dishwasher, horrible, live, nyc, save, payment, gets, backyard, saw, apartment, shocked, law, school, care, schools, cost, arm, leg, debt, smart, treatment, fork, huge, amount, afraid, ahead, honest, thankfully, lord, forever, notion, biologically, related, potential, issues, troubling, following, guy, fertilization, frozen, unfrozen, biopsied, refrozen, deemed, thawed, implanted, flimsy, stellar, rock, star, lame, charts, 200, help, continues, discuss, found, excess, spells, doom, draw, defined, exceeding, patients, slow, rising, prognosis, viability, demonstrated, eight, longest, title, history, statement, george, bush, makes, laugh, bizarrely, head, appropriate, reason, certain, course, twice, chances, embryo, numbers, panic, mode, 1300, asked, quietest, voice, definitely, watching, breasts, stopped, sore, poked, prodded, stared, mirror, swollen, blue, veiny, twingey, boob, yesteryear, awhile, folks, incredibly, strong, achy, tingly, fooled, thank, wrapped, written, checked, excruciating, appointment, hear, beat, burst, tears, flat, jiggled, horrifying, bowl, jelly, 180s, freaked, ensured, graduated, tomorrow, scared, measuring, soon, sidebar,

Text of the page (random words):
self for making any kind of plans i mean really what the hell was i thinking part of me thought i m just going to try to enjoy it so f it and i was pretty f n excited i got out the baby naming book i made a list and i convinced the husband to move because we d need more space with a second kid to a place with a washer and dryer and dishwasher because you know how horrible that is when you don t have one and have a new baby some of you may not know but those of you who live in nyc yeah you know will i regret moving some place where we ll never be able to save any money for a down payment but my kid gets to have a backyard i won t i really won t ok maybe a little bit i think i mean really if you saw the size of our apartment you would be shocked ever since law school i have to say we ve been pretty stupid about money our kid went to one of the best day care schools around which cost us an arm and a leg and put us in massive debt then we did fertility treatments since 2010 so yeah not smart about money strangely i don t regret the fertility treatment costs it s only been massive since 2013 we didn t want to have to fork over that huge amount for donor eggs but i m afraid if i add up we spent since 2013 it might be close pgd anyone yikes maybe we should have just gone ahead and done that but if i m completely honest there s a part of me that was very worried about doing donor eggs i fear that someone and not my husband thankfully would lord it over me forever the notion that i am not biologically related to my child but they are i see a lot of potential issues with that and it s troubling and then and then i have to say here somewhere that even though i m trying to sound jovial that i spent most of yesterday crying it s really hard for my brain to come to terms with the idea that this is it i keep coming up with contingency plans and then remembering that no no this is it no more retrievals no more drugs we won t be adopting we won t be doing donor eggs we won t we won t we won t it s done donezo fini complete it s time for us to move on to pack it up and say good bye thanks for the memories infertility don t let the door hit you on the way out posted by ali at 3 40 pm 11 comments wednesday february 11 2015 same day nothing new to report since i haven t given a lot of detail here in 2013 i switched from world famous ivf clinic wfivfc to a clinic that specializes in mini ivf after inumerable iuis i finally convinced dr superman to let me try ivf it did not go well a retrieval that ended up with nothing a long cry in the lobby a conversion to an iui and i was pretty much done i was also forty i happened to run into a colleague who was switching to the mini ivf clinic the sister of a good friend was just finishing up there after getting pregnant we decided to do the switch we did a retrieval there no drugs and they broke the zona on retrieval i was again ready to give up the nurse convinced me to try another cycle i did and they were able to retrieve three if i remember correctly and shockingly i don t it was totally natural birth control pills first but i think i must have been on clomid anyway three is crazy all three fertilized all three made it to blast i repeated this process until may of 2014 at this point i had six blasts six pretty good looking blasts but things were going south in the retrieval department it seemed as though it was progressively getting worse it was beginning to look like everything that they retrieved wouldn t make it to blast and they only wanted 5 day blasts for me they convinced me to do pgd which i did only one was healthy one from that second cycle the cycle that had three after a uterine scraping two endometrial biopsies and a trial run they were finally wiling to do the transfer in december but i balked i wanted to be able to fly home to see family over the holidays i didn t want to fly at all not once not ever subsequent to the transfer until i knew the results and once i did if positive i was most certaintly not getting on a plane with every other miscarriage i d been on a plane so we did the transfer in january january 19th martin luther king day and so transfer monday january 19th beta 1 seven days past transfer 51 monday january 26th beta 2 nine days past transfer 96 wednesday january 28th doubling time 2 2 days or 52 6 hours 88 2 increase beta 3 sixteen days past transfer 1382 wednesday february 4th doubling time 1 8 days or 43 66 hours 114 13 increase beta 4 twenty three days past transfer 6762 wednesday february 11th doubling time 3 1 days or 73 34 hours 57 increase so i don t know some places say that at this point 72 96 hours is when to expect doubling some still say it should double within 48 hours or 48 72 hours i don t know what to think i can t really go there if you know what i mean posted by ali at 10 27 pm no comments hcg land so on wednesday february 4th my blood results were somewhere in the 1300s which was good this is what i d calculated today i calculated that my hcg results should be somewhere around 13 000 it was 6 000 something today is six weeks the husband is trying to remain positive but i m feeling pretty down feeling kind of stupid that i was feeling pretty lucky optimistic i could see him in my mind etc i want to remain optimistic but pretty much everything i read leads me to believe that this is not good not good at all i wish i could write more but i just can t right now ultrasound next wednesday february 18th posted by ali at 12 51 pm no comments thursday january 29 2015 what the yeah so i had a blood test on monday january 26th hcg 51 progesterone 12 on wednesday i had another blood test hcg 96 progesterone 16 i m kind of freaking out just a tad just a little in the googling until my fingers bleed territory they told me that they re not worried but i am it didn t double in 48 hours also i m on 40 of the generic lovenox last time with the kid i was on 60 this also concerns me meanwhile i felt like i was going to pass out i was so dizzy today i can t remember that happening before but i chalk it up to the 1 0000s of progesterone pills i m on righty o trying to stay positive here posted by ali at 7 10 pm no comments wednesday may 01 2013 april showers bring may flowers i m having trouble concentrating at work or doing much of anything i keep googling things like day 3 8 cells 6 cells you can only imagine what i ve come up with let me back up i switched fertility clinics i switched from the uber famous clinic that s considered one of the best in the business to a clinic that s known for it s mini and natural ivfs it seemed like such a crazy thing to do for several reasons the main one being we ll have to pay for some of the costs out of pocket yikes one of my closest friend s sister after several years of trying went there and is now pregnant she s due in october she s 42 then another friend of mine who d i met at the old clinic one day is now going to new place as well i met with the main doctor who i really liked even though i had some trouble understanding him he said so you were pregnant four times completely naturally yes and then you did an iui on clomid and got pregnant on your first try yes and you ve done multiple ivfs and only made it to retrieval once yes and it didn t work out isn t it interesting how the lower tech it is the more successful you ve been and the more and more drugs they throw at you the less likely it will work yes the doc recommends i freeze a bunch of embryos if i m able to get any in order to bank them so that i don t have to wait months between treatments i e you go through a cycle you get one or two eggs they fertilize but you don t get pregnant now you have to wait several months for the next cycle etc this way i just keep going in month after month get a bunch of eggs put them on ice and then start having them transferred perhaps two at a time until we hit the jack pot the first time i did no drugs none they just monitored me then i came in and they did the retrieval with the one egg and it broke it broke a broken zona i ve read multiple things that say it could be the quality of the egg or it could be the method by which it s retrieved they are very skilled at the retrieval so i didn t think it could be that but the doc said he actually thinks it was the timing they either got it too early or too late i can t remember which i was pretty crestfallen i d gone through three ivfs the only one that they let me go to retrieval which was at my insistence they got nothing the husband was pretty much done he wanted to pull out i talked to one of the nurses at length who was so great she recommended we do it at least one more time so this time they had me on clomid and one other drug i managed to produce two good size eggs and one small one last time it hurt pretty badly the ovary was in a strange spot and they had to practically jump on my abdomen fyi they do their retrievals with no anesthesia this time i got a valium yay and they managed to retrieve all three eggs and they looked good last sunday i was at a baby shower yes and got a call that two fertilized and that the other was pending then yesterday i got a call that the runty one didn t make it but that the other two on day three are at 8 cells and 6 cells from what i ve read typically a good normal growing day 3 will contain between 6 and 10 cells so i m pretty excited about those two i won t know how they are doing until saturday when they let me know if they ve made it to the deep freeze here s hoping yay spring posted by ali at 2 46 pm no comments saturday march 30 2013 broken egg so after 10 iuis one successful and two converted ivfs i started at a new clinic that specializes in natural ivf i don t respond to the drugs anyway so what the hey things have been looking pretty good that is until retrieval the doctor had a very hard time getting the egg out and once he did it didn t look good apparently the egg broke fractured zona pellucida i ve been trying to do some research and i m not coming up with a lot there seems to be some evidence via my google searching that it could be due to the retrieval itself alternately it could be a not so great egg to begin with the doctor seems somewhat strangely i might add confident that it won t happen again as i said it was very difficult for the doctor to retrieve the egg because of the position of the ovary there was a lot of pushing on my stomach and a lot of what felt like anyway suctioning i don t know i m looking for other people s experience and knowledge on the subject they want me to come back in two weeks and try again the husband would like to go back to the other clinic where although they aren t experts on natural ivf will charge us nothing insurance the new place we have to pay 20 which is really hard when it doesn t work out so early in the game posted by ali at 7 54 pm 1 comment sunday may 20 2012 the fat lady is starting to my birthday was last friday i turned 40 forty the husband and i were on the fence for a long time about trying for another there were many reasons for the indecision but avoiding having another miscarriage was up there on the list i did not want to get crazy obsessed about trying to conceive when i already have a child did not want to go through the heart ache as well there are also many benefits to having one child versus multiple or so the studies say that being said last year we decided to make a go of it and nothing happened we did iui after iui finally i pushed to start the ivf process i did a round of birth control pills and was to go in on day 2 i couldn t figure out when day 2 was however i d never had such a light period in my life i kept waiting and waiting i finally went in on monday morning four or five days after my period started my fsh tested at 23 the ivf was cancelled my fsh right before i had the boy was 6 that was four years ago he ll be four in october there is some evidence that those with the mthfr a1298c i m homozygous do not respond well to ovarian stimulating hormones and have prematurely high fsh levels i m not so sure i d say it s all that premature now considering that i m forty but it s a little bit of a shock nonetheless and here s the kicker only a few months ago it was 16 not great but ivf wouldn t have been cancelled where do we go from here i m not sure that i have the energy to read a thousand books on high fsh to start downing wheat grass juice to do yoga and acupuncture take folic acid and fish oil and whatever else i m not sure i m up for it i m not sure i can put all my energy into something that just might not work doctor superman said that he is very concerned he s never said that before he was always pretty optimistic that s scary i don t want to have false hope either i don t really know what to do it s a depressing position to be in and although it might appear a little crazy in the first place to try to have a baby at forty it wasn t my intention to try to have a baby at forty i wanted to have my first at 34 my second at 36 that was a little bit old but that s the age my parents were when they had me i never anticipated that it would be years of miscarriages years of trying we got a pretty bum deal but we got a great kid out of it too i ll always feel the loss of those four and will always feel like someone is missing there was supposed to be another one whether or not i can make that happen only time will tell posted by ali at 11 03 am 7 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom icomleavwe icomleavwe join the conversation about me ali after four miscarriages i welcomed home my baby boy in the fall of 2008 view my complete profile our son was born in the fall of 2008 after four miscarriages currently trying for numero dos homozygous mthfr a1298c treated with folate and vitamin b6 and b12 supplementation diagnosed with idiopathic recurrent pregnancy loss in august 2007 iui in january 2008 with clomid started on heparin january 18 2008 switched to lovenox april 10th oh i m also rh negative e mail me at alicerabbit at gmail dot com blog archive 2015 5 march 1 so february 3 january 1 2013 2 may 1 march 1 2012 4 may 1 february 2 january 1 2011 8 march 1 february 7 2010 2 december 1 november 1 2009 9 august 1 april 2 march 2 february 1 january 3 2008 61 december 4 november 3 october 11 september 3 august 2 july 5 june 4 may 3 april 8 march 6 february 7 january 5 2007 76 december 3 november 4 october 6 september 7 august 11 july 2 june 6 may 4 april 6 march 8 february 11 january 8 2006 10 december 3 november 7 mthfr info all mthfr all the time ask a geneticist ask another geneticist join the fun calculate your bmi miscarriage causes mthfr mthfr and risk of fetal loss mthfr community board discussion study genotypes of the c677t and a1298c as cause for sa study mthfr associated with ovarian follicular activity study mthfr is associated with recurrent miscarriage study mthfr not predictive of recurrent fetal loss timeline 10 19 2018 possible bfp neg t...