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Text of the page (random words):
ucket under the drip and looked at the offending piece of machinery guess what it had a phone number on it that must be for emergencies so i ran upstairs and made a phone call i get a voice message it tells me to call another number but the number is said so fast i can t get it i call again to listen again maybe it s not telling me to do that at all maybe it s telling me to do something else so i go on their website which is entirely in hebrew i see the famous צור קשר which i know means their contact info yay they have whatsapp and email so i send both a whtsapp and an email and they offer a special number special means emergencies right i call that too i get an email telling me that they got my email i get a whatsapp telling me that they got my whatsapp i can t even understand what the phone menu tells me to do time runs out it s shabbat so i keep checking the bucket and it it seems to be a very slow drip ok here it is sunday i get a whatsapp asking me questions in hebrew i use google translate and hopefully say the water filter is dripping and not i have the sniffles in my water closet the word for a drip is נזילה and the word for the sniffles is נוזלת see how hard it is all day sunday i wait to hear from them nuttin of course as all olim know the phrase we will get back to you means we will never get back to you and you will have to bug us incessantly and then we will get mad at you but that s the only way to get service finally i give up and pull out the contract information there is yet another phone number and i get a person uh oh guess what language he does not speak ok here goes i tell him that there is a drip in the appliance had to look that one up and practice it that is on the main water pipe same coming into the house then he goes into some conversation with me about things he mentions numbers he says things he has the word shekel in there a couple of times finally he says something about which day wednesday or thursday i think ooh now we re getting somewhere i pick wednesday after other words he mentions hours i pick between 9 12 i write this down i say ok then the technician is coming on wednesday between 9 and 12 but god help me he keeps talking and i hear shekel and i hear other words i don t know i figure at some point i have to say yes to something so i say yes because i m so relieved he is coming to fix the drip i don t care he mentions 55 shekel that doesn t sound like a lot does it hmm i think is that per week per month whatever remember he is coming to fix the drip then he asks me how i like the water bar they sold us i say i love it but we can t use it on shabbat he says you didn t ask for a shabbat feature but this is a re hash of an earlier argument with them and i am in no mood to get on the wrong side of this guy i ll give him whatever he wants just come here he then takes my address and other information and asks me for a credit card number uh oh why would he need that unless i just bought something i ll find out on wednesday between 9 and 12 posted by momzwifeofdadz at 8 00 am 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday september 16 2016 uh oh ok so usually when you put your car in reverse it goes in reverse but sometimes you think it s in reverse and it s not uh oh tg i was in a parking lot and no one was walking near me my car drove forward into a parked car dented my car dented their car pushed their car into another car scratched car 3 sounds like fun right try it in hebrew i was at the local pool which is actually a sports complex where people take yoga exercise etc classes a class was ending and a lady walked out my luck it was her car that i d hit car 2 mine being car 1 i asked if it was her car she said it was and i apologized profusely she said what happened uh oh how do i say this in hebrew so in my usual sophisticated toddler level hebrew i explained that i wanted the car to go in reverse but instead it went forward and plowed into her car what i probably said was something like this because she gave me a strange look i want go back but go front i hit your car i sorry she seemed to get it and asked if i was ok whew nice person then a couple of guys from the sports center came out they also asked if i was ok and proceeded to tell me what i had done you see you thought you were in reverse but you weren t there may be a reason that they work in a sports center and not in army intelligence well from that i at least found out the correct words to use then cue ominous music owner of car 3 came out let s call her brunhilde i believe her look could actually kill and i don t believe she had a neck her car had a tiny scratch the sport center guys were amused at how angry she was i was terrified lady 2 whose car was really dented waited patiently while brunhilde photographed all of my documents me the car my next of kin and everyone else s next of kin sports center guy 1 put his arm around me and advised me to say the bracha of gomel for surviving the accident i love this country as you might imagine he was not religious but that was his advice sport center guy 2 became philosophical hey it s only a car you are ok that is all that matters brunhilde continued to deliver the death glare ok drama over now i had to deal with the insurance company i call my english speaking agent who tells me that the women who deals with accidents speaks only hebrew great we talk we email all in hebrew mind you yay me the next day she writes to me to tell me that the appraiser will be at the garage in the morning and i should meet him there ok everyone what is your first question what does in the morning mean i call her but of course she is already gone for the day israelis tend to be gone for the day after 2 00 pm so i call the garage hahahahahahaha i ask the guy who answers when does the appraiser get in he says in the morning i say what does that mean 7 8 he says something like that well now i m not nervous at all knowing that i might get there and either have to wait 3 hours or miss him next morning i compromise and get there at 7 30 he is not there here is how that goes when does he get in i ask why asks the woman behind the counter because i have to meet with him why to look at my car why at this point i m pretty sure i m on candid camera and allen funt is about to walk out from behind a curtain because your garage is going to fix it you don t need to be here for that but the insurance lady said to meet him no not you just your car here fill out these forms and you can leave so i m hoping that my car and the appraiser had a nice cup of tea and talked about how to make the repairs as for me i went home having no idea whether or not my car is actually going to get fixed i was just so relieved to have it in a garage where it was supposed to get fixed and not have to figure out how to say things in hebrew anymore that i practically wept two days later i was on a plane to america for two weeks my car is supposed to be fixed and ready for me when i return please pray for my little green suzuki it s all alone at the garage and speaks only english posted by momzwifeofdadz at 1 12 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday august 8 2016 not being other i was just reading facebook posts about people putting in for leave from their jobs for the upcoming chagim this year practically all of october is holiday as we all know which probably requires the most possible vacation days one would need to request for the chagim i vividly recall putting in for vacation around holiday time well i ll need three thursdays and fridays or in more difficult years i ll need three mondays and tuesdays and one wednesday all within 3 4 weeks and after time off for pesach etc practically nothing was left and then when those holidays were over how relieved i was the absences were done with i could get back to my regular work schedule no more weird questions what holiday is this one you do what my life of course revolved around some other society s calendar schedules and holidays i was always happy for everyone as they looked forward to their respective holidays and always had a blank stare on my face after yom kippur when they asked so how was your holiday since i was a teenager i had a sense of being other in someone else s universe where we danced to someone else s songs and spoke someone else s language no one really understood jewish orthodoxy i mean i explained things and they listened politely but i always felt very much outside of their world my focus was on torah on keeping mitzvos and i grew up learning about our people being persecuted time after time after time with no end i just could not explain this state of mind this frame of reference and so i didn t they would not have understood anyway not really then we moved to israel i m not going to go into the blah blah about how this is our country our holidays you have heard all of that from me but everyone here has pretty much the same frame of reference coming out of and still enduring persecution for being jews our life revolving around the holidays our streets named for jewish heroes biblical and otherwise this is mine this is me it is who i am and who my people are every person around me totally gets it the longer i am here the greater my sense of belonging it is so deep so visceral that i don t think i have the words to define it but for those of you shuddering thinking of how many vacation days you re losing during the holidays maybe just take a second to think about belonging and what that means posted by momzwifeofdadz at 11 44 am 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday january 8 2016 four years this week we celebrated our fourth year as israelis these are things that i ve gotten used to saying over the past four years this i do not understand a word of what you just said oh please pull in front of me without signalling and while you re at it honk at me several times for no reason i love how you parked on the sidewalk it s so cool hi the grocery has no eggs or potatoes oh it is going to be yellow outside today keep the trisim down it is april we will open them again in november it is colder inside this apartment than it is outside no i do not want the bargain you are offering at the checkout no really i don t need after shave even two bottles all clothing here is at least twice as expensive as in the us whatever no i don t know why more americans don t move to israel yes it is their home too yes i do understand why you cannot make aliyah at this time in your life i still don t understand a word of what you just said so i have to take this strep stick go to the lab wait in line give it to them then wait for the results to show up huh ok but also this wherever i go my entire health portfolio is available on my phone i can make appointments change them see test results and get perscriptions online this country is strikingly dramatically beautiful beyond words and this i cannot believe we actually live here it s so cool to be living here we live here we are home posted by momzwifeofdadz at 3 46 am 18 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday october 27 2015 if you go you ll never come back when i was in high school considering which college to apply to my first choice was to go to bar ilan the thought of studying in israel was beyond thrilling to me i promised my parents i d only go for one year then come back to a us college to complete my education no if you go you ll never come back these were my mother s exact words my father didn t say a word because i think he really wanted me to go but knew it would break my mother s heart because he knew as well that if i went i would not return to live in america and i think he would have been okay with that and incredibly proud so i didn t go i went to barnard then went to graduate school for my library degree and in the meantime got married yadda yadda yadda i ended up coming to israel for the very first time in 1978 just after our fourth anniversary the country stole my heart from day one well a mere 44 years later here i am living in israel much better late than never i say more importantly and more significantly today is my mother s 25th yahrzeit she died on 15 cheshvan november 3 1990 how do you explain what it feels like to lose a mother someone who is really the essence of your life your teacher your moral compass your soul your heart to know you ll never hear that voice or feel that hug never be able to call and say guess what the kids did today or what is a good recipe for or can you believe what she said it hurts in a visceral way that can be understood only by those who have experienced it my husband lost his father one year after we married for 25 years i could not understand his pain not really when i lost my own mother i was in awe at his having been able to function after losing his father at such a young age just when our life was beginning and knowing he d never know our children i have to treasure the at least s at least she saw my three children born at least she had a relationship with them at least she saw us be able to buy a nice home close to her ironically one week before she was diagnosed with leukemia and one year to the date before she died at least i remember the ketzeleh song as well as little brown jug totally inappropriate but funny and sing it to my grandchildren at least i remember her most important lessons whatever happens keep going and make the best of it those two have literally gotten me through hellish times so i guess now if you go you will never come back has a sad double meaning in my heart to my mother mary weintraub z l a brilliant funny kind loving woman who touched many lives i know you ll never come back but you are inside me and i think of you every single day posted by momzwifeofdadz at 10 51 pm 4 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday august 19 2015 how do i get to see now that is a question i am always asking other people or actually i am always asking waze before i go anywhere new i not only put the location in waze but i look at it on google maps just to see the route beforehand look at the street view so i know what to look for when i get there and consider alternate routes i mean i investigate thoroughly that is because i am mortally terrified of being in the wrong location um with good reason israel is not a country in which you have fun being lost it s not an adventure it s just plain scary so here i was driving along minding my own business and there s a young woman who is stopped in the middle of the street in my neighborhood while everyone else was honking and gesticulating around her for delaying their arrival at their destination for all of 20 seconds i looked at her and she waved at me desperately so i pulled over and she asked me where a ce...