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Text of the page (random words):
malaysia philippines indonesia singapore mauritius saudi arabia israel and india in half of these countries i know no one you some how found me you spread the word you have been the key element in keeping the stories of ofunato and rikuzentakata alive although we will likely never meet please know what a pleasure it has been to have you along with me posted by amya at 2 57 am 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday july 15 2011 wrapping up it has been almost four months since i started writing i am a changed person i liked the me from before but the new me is like a new shoe it will take a few blisters for me to get used to the new look i can live with that i feel a very strong need a pull a calling to do something more tangible with the experiences i ve had over the past four months for this i ve come up with two ideas i will be returning to japan again in september this time for three months part of what i will do there involves continuing volunteer work this time with many different organizations i m not done with tohoku i m not done with japan second i have decided to take the postings from this blog and the other now defunct blog to george clooney and compile them into a book there are stories i didn t get around to writing these too need to be told the international media has all but forgotten about what happened on march 11th certainly much has happened since then what the world doesn t realize and i understand why this is the case is how widely the events on march 11th will continue to affect us all of us for this and for many other reasons i find it inexcusable that the media coverage has dried up i cannot single handedly keep the focus on japan i can however do my part it is with this in mind that i plan to publish my postings neither of these projects will be completed quickly i am dedicated though if nothing else and once i commit i m in for the long haul so today i write with gratitude and sincere humility for those of you who have followed this blog and for those who were active in spreading the word i am beginning the process of wrapping up the blog transferring my time and energy onto projects that i hope will continue to reach a wide audience thank you for your friendship words of encouragement and most of all for your support posted by amya at 8 36 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday july 13 2011 you look so having just come back from cursing at the ocean i am all smiles cliches are cliches for a reason yes that s my excuse for interjecting one here i feel so much lighter having said what i came to say to an ocean that doesn t care i honestly feel lighter maybe it s that weight of the world on my shoulders being lifted feeling maybe it s the overwhelming grief i couldn t express that s some how gone through me and is no longer stagnant inside it s almost frightening this change in me i can feel the difference if i were 10 i would giggle being let s just say not 10 i grin instead a lot i make the rounds of the people i came to see in ofunato i take gifts to people i show up unannounced and am warmly received i stop in and see mr s who runs one of the evacuation centers in town he put up a poster once which a included a call for locals to volunteer with the group of foreigners this poster contained a sketch of a foreigner large nose and all which i later learned was me i chided mr s for weeks begging him to do something about that nose as i refused to be the poster child literally mind you of all foreigners with big noses mr s was one of many people in ofunato i saw over the next several days who commented on how i look this is good you know i certainly don t mind comments about my looks so long as they re compliments of course what i heard from people over he net several days compliments technically made me realize how much of a transformation i must have gone through since having gone home and having just come from cursing at the ocean you look so different mr s says and i rescue him from having to find he right words by quickly saying it s the make up you ve never seen me with make up before no he replies you look good here i laugh which i shouldn t have but did he turns red i m sorry he says and now i feel bad it s okay i must have looked really bad before you were pause again tired i think right oh yes most definitely well you don t look tired now thank you i m better i m really okay good he nods it shows as i said compliments are good i don t think much about this conversation other than to accept the fact evidently a i looked pretty bad before and b i don t now i move on through town from shelter to shelter group to group person to person in a matter of a few hours i realize this chat with mr s is not one person s opinion at the base i run into mrs w who runs the office for the ofunato commerce center we bow we say hello and exchange pleasantries i thank her profusely for letting us use the place comment on how nice it looks apologize for the mess we all made she nods and doesn t actually refute the last statement so now i know there was a lot of cleaning up to do when the volunteer group moved out we re silent for awhile and i wonder what to say next you look nice she says and catches me off guard i was looking at the boxes of relief supplies in the front office what oh thank you i quickly throw in you ve never seen me with make up on never accept a compliment give credit elsewhere even if it s to a giant cosmetics company done no it s not that you look different okay so a few minutes ago it was you look nice and now that s you look different which means again i evidently didn t look so nice while i was here back in march april and may i m relaxed i say you must be and we let the conversation move onto other subjects i run into mrs w again later on in the afternoon along with mrs k who does the cooking for the volunteers i say hello to mrs k kick myself for not bringing her a gift and we stand and talk about life you look so she starts actually takes a step back and does the once over as if she s really checking me out different make up i say on cue i remember my lines well thank you no and her response is quite adamant it s not the make up it s her breasts mrs w says with a look of total seriousness and i actually guffaw this is a first what what does that mean i can t wait to hear her response you look healthy is what i get what am i a cow mrs w is actually talking to my breasts this is seriously awkward oh stop mrs k looks at mrs w she always looked healthy you ve just never seen her in a t shirt she was always wearing a jacket before she just looks and here she turns to me and says well maybe it s your skin or well you just look really good happy yes happy you look happy refreshed mrs w says yes refreshed mrs k agrees okay my skin looks better i look refreshed and i look different than before i continue to hear comments throughout my time in ofunato about the before and after comparison and the general consensus is before bad after good i accept the compliments as graciously as i can making sure to give proper credit to the power of make up which of course everyone deflects away the good news is evidently i look more relaxed the bad news is evidently i looked pretty bad for about seven weeks i suppose this shouldn t surprise me i make a conscious decision to look at the bright side these repeated reminders about the difference in how i look means i ve come through the worst of it the fact i clearly couldn t didn t cover up my stress during the time i spent in ofunato is very potent and painful i m glad the transformation i ve just gone through is visible and positive even if that means i get compared to a cow in the process posted by amya at 2 26 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday july 11 2011 blaming and cursing i spent an afternoon on the beach in ofunato getting drenched by the rain the ocean in front of me is the same ocean that blew giant waves onto the shores all along over 200 miles of coastline i m angry at it i know the ocean doesn t care i know being angry at an ocean isn t a reasonable response but it s also very real i need to blame something i need to project my anger at some thing and right now that thing is the ocean in front of me when the waves recede it washes over small black stones these waves the ones that never stop make the stones sound as if they re clapping this too makes me angry what are you applauding what did you do that deserves applause you ocean of all things don t deserve praise right now i see a large wooden door floating in the waves i look at it and assume it wants to come onto shore and rest the waves taunt it pushing it forward towards the shore and then pull it back out the ocean is cruel this way let the door be let the door settle on these black pebbles that make this horrid clapping sound and let it rest on solid ground away from and out of the water no the ocean teases the door and the entire time i m on the beach it moves back and forth to and from land the tsunami wall that was supposed to keep giant waves from crashing onto land did nothing one portion of the wall a 8 inch thick concrete section 6 feet by 6 feet rests near the edge of the water the waves moved it here and left it for us to see see what i can do yes i do you did this you want credit i ll give it to you in the form of blame this is your fault i see another larger section of the wall in the water laying on the sand and rocks this one is larger maybe 10 feet by 10 feet the waves tore this off the wall and brought it here for us to know just how much power it has i get it ocean you re powerful you re so powerful you washed away walls homes bulldozers people trucks boats and toys you feel no guilt because you can t that s simply not good enough i pick up several of the larger black stones at my feet and throw them into the water as far as i can they plop i feel ridiculous i didn t hurt the ocean i didn t cause it pain i want to of course but i can t it doesn t work that way i can t stop crying this is good i know but i feel stupid for being angry at something that on postcards is so beautiful i tell myself the water here is not blue green or turquoise it s not pretty i don t need to feel stupid for crying my emotions the ones i pushed down so deep for so long come out and my make up is ruined i curse at the ocean i call it names i tell it you did this knowing it feels nothing i turn my back to it making sure i intentionally snub it and walk away from it saying i ll never feel the same way about you again it doesn t hear me i know but i am blown away by how much better i feel this is what i needed this is the closure i came here for i feel different i m soaked having stood out in the rain for so long but am not bothered by how wet my shoes are or how messy i look i feel cleansed between blaming something that can t accept fault cursing at something that can t hear me and feeling a different sort of water wash me clean i feel like myself again for the first time in a very very long time i m back the old me is back not only that this time i m better than before posted by amya at 9 19 pm 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday july 3 2011 the last four days part 5 no room at the inn s when scheduling my trip to ofunato i asked some friends to help me find a hotel i wanted privacy i wanted to be alone i was willing to pay to get this then came the answer there were no rooms available anywhere in ofunato how is this possible i have no way of explaining this phenomenon i don t understand this but i m also faced with the realization i have to find a place to stay i contact the volunteer organization i worked with previously and asked for a spot on the floor they agreed then comes another realization i have no sleeping bag no mat to sleep on and of course i forget my pajamas in tokyo so i now have to decide whether i ll sleep in my clothes on the floor alongside other volunteers some of whom i know others whom i don t or come up with plan b there s always another way albeit this time my thinking outside the box ability failed me the suggestion came in the form of a carefully worded question from a friend would you be willing to stay in a love hotel a love hotel for those of you who don t know is let s just say a place where couples go to get some privacy which of course is code for a hidden spot to have an affair or a place for a quickie in other words people don t stay in a love hotel alone rooms are rented by the hour for several hours or by the night and different rates apply for differing lengths of stay i ponder this suggestion i laugh i can sleep on the floor in my clothes or i can sleep in a bed in a room reserved for sex swallowing my pride and definitely recognizing the humor in what i m about to do i find my way to a love hotel and stay the night by myself only me i watch television looking around at the room and laugh at the absurdity of it all i wanted unique experiences i m certainly getting them posted by amya at 7 56 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday june 29 2011 the last four days part 4 seiji in love we re out to dinner again the hodge podge gang of ofunato residents who sometimes help at the relief supplies depot who also double as volunteers are my people this is the same group i had dinner with back in may when through drunken whispers i was told it was seiji s birthday this is the same group who wanted me to channel marilyn monroe as i sang happy birthday to seiji everyone in this group lost something or someone seiji now 26 lost his mother everyone knows seiji so this means everyone knows someone who lost someone everyone in the group lost someone else close to them one woman miki san lost her business washed away by the tsunami and thus is now out of a job another kimura san lost his car the list goes on and on what i love about them is their fierce loyalty and dedication they make each other laugh they truly enjoy each other s company it s beautiful to watch i find myself envious and at the same time i m flattered they ve let me into their inner circle seiji looks well we sit across from each other how are you i ask before he can answer kimura san a man with closely cropped hair sitting next to him leans over beaming and says seiji s in love again really i say do tell who is she seiji turns beat red i melt should i tell her he asks sato san a young woman with pigtails sitting on the other side of kimura san of course you should tell me i say with as much mock indignation as i can muster up he turns red again i love this man it s lily kimura san says lily who s lily i m now confused what happened to beth see kimura san says that s why i said again he s in love with someone else beth 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