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a void a void i make music follow on tumblr moi archive mobile rss tumblr top page 1 of 6448 ssegundosombra from pier paolo pasolini s the stylistic reaction 1960 via improvisedliturgy 30 jul 26 18 notes share tweet boyskissinthehood selected images by rotimi fani kayode featured in ecstatic antibodies via 3liza 30 jul 26 151 notes share tweet loueale via netego 30 jul 26 6 129 notes share tweet onyomugan34 2026年7月25日14 54 30 jul 26 13 notes share tweet via cathkaesque 30 jul 26 1 397 notes share tweet planetsedge august 4th sure i m your huckleberry the top bit might be around lake okobogee i should be a fungineer 30 jul 26 2 notes share tweet need full buck moon zyztma 29 jul 26 share tweet moimusic full buck moon zyztma music wailing fields zyztma 29 jul 26 share tweet moimusic music wailing fields zyztma voskhozhdeniye permanent headache iran ed 29 jul 26 3 notes share tweet screaming winds and agony voskhozhdeniye why didn t gay rights cure gay loneliness the surprising new science of the closet the huffington post no one ever told adam not to act effeminate but he like me like most of us learned it somehow i never worried about my family being homophobic he says i used to do this thing where i would wrap a blanket around myself like a dress and dance around in the backyard my parents thought it was cute so they took a video and showed it to my grandparents when they all watched the tape i hid behind the couch because i was so ashamed i must have been six or seven by the time he got to high school adam had learned to manage his mannerisms so well that no one suspected him of being gay but still he says i couldn t trust anyone because i had this thing i was holding i had to operate in the world as a lone agent he came out at 16 then graduated then moved to san francisco and started working in hiv prevention but the feeling of distance from other people didn t go away so he treated it he says with lots and lots of sex it s our most accessible resource in the gay community you convince yourself that if you re having sex with someone you re having an intimate moment that ended up being a crutch he worked long hours he would come home exhausted smoke a little weed pour a glass of red wine then start scanning the hookup apps for someone to invite over sometimes it would be two or three guys in a row as soon as i closed the door on the last guy i d think that didn t hit the spot then i d find another one it went on like this for years last thanksgiving he was back home to visit his parents and felt a compulsive need to have sex because he was so stressed out when he finally found a guy nearby who was willing to hook up he ran to his parents room and started rifling through their drawers to see if they had any viagra so that was the rock bottom moment i ask that was the third or fourth yeah he says adam s now in a 12 step program for sex addiction it s been six weeks since he s had sex before this the longest he had ever gone was three or four days there are people who have lots of sex because it s fun and that s fine but i kept trying to wring it out like a rag to get something out of it that wasn t in there social support or companionship it was a way of not dealing with my own life and i kept denying it was a problem because i had always told myself i ve come out i moved to san francisco i m done i did what i had to do as a gay person for decades this is what psychologists thought too that the key stages in identity formation for gay men all led up to coming out that once we were finally comfortable with ourselves we could begin building a life within a community of people who d gone through the same thing but over the last 10 years what researchers have discovered is that the struggle to fit in only grows more intense a study published in 2015 found that rates of anxiety and depression were higher in men who had recently come out than in men who were still closeted it s like you emerge from the closet expecting to be this butterfly and the gay community just slaps the idealism out of you adam says when he first started coming out he says i went to west hollywood because i thought that s where my people were but it was really horrifying it s made by gay adults and it s not welcoming for gay kids you go from your mom s house to a gay club where a lot of people are on drugs and it s like this is my community it s like the fucking jungle i came out when i was 17 and i didn t see a place for myself in the gay scene says paul a software developer i wanted to fall in love like i saw straight people do in movies but i just felt like a piece of meat it got so bad that i used to go to the grocery store that was 40 minutes away instead of the one that was 10 minutes away just because i was so afraid to walk down the gay street the word i hear from paul from everyone is re traumatized you grow up with this loneliness accumulating all this baggage and then you arrive in the castro or chelsea or boystown thinking you ll finally be accepted for who you are and then you realize that everyone else here has baggage too all of a sudden it s not your gayness that gets you rejected it s your weight or your income or your race the bullied kids of our youth paul says grew up and became bullies themselves gay men in particular are just not very nice to each other says john the adventure tour guide in pop culture drag queens are known for their takedowns and it s all ha ha ha but that meanness is almost pathological all of us were deeply confused or lying to ourselves for a good chunk of our adolescence but it s not comfortable for us to show that to other people so we show other people what the world shows us which is nastiness every gay man i know carries around a mental portfolio of all the shitty things other gay men have said and done to him i arrived to a date once and the guy immediately stood up said i was shorter than i looked in my pictures and left alex a fitness instructor in seattle was told by a guy on his swim team i ll ignore your face if you fuck me without a condom martin a brit living in portland has gained maybe 10 pounds since he moved there and got a grindr message on christmas day that said you used to be so sexy it s a shame you messed it up for other minority groups living in a community with people like them is linked to lower rates of anxiety and depression it helps to be close to people who instinctively understand you but for us the effect is the opposite several studies have found that living in gay neighborhoods predicts higher rates of risky sex and meth use and less time spent on other community activities like volunteering or playing sports a 2009 study suggested that gay men who were more linked to the gay community were less satisfied with their own romantic relationships gay and bisexual men talk about the gay community as a significant source of stress in their lives pachankis says the fundamental reason for this he says is that in group discrimination does more harm to your psyche than getting rejected by members of the majority it s easy to ignore roll your eyes and put a middle finger up to straight people who don t like you because whatever you don t need their approval anyway rejection from other gay people though feels like losing your only way of making friends and finding love being pushed away from your own people hurts more because you need them more 28 jul 26 220 notes share tweet sketchydmitrix via pza01 28 jul 26 38 057 notes share tweet afloweroutofstone go away strawberry switchblade you ve come to ask me how i am but i don t want to see you today you said it was fun but i cannot smile i just wish that you would go away via afloweroutofstone 28 jul 26 51 notes share tweet the wire bracket originally posted by tisorridalamor via doomwhathouwilt 27 jul 26 15 notes share tweet dittography direwolf alt totally normal for a legitimate for profit company to refuse to reclaim or stop running their products even after they re no longer being paid to do so i m sure it s very normal to just keep running your service for free when your contract s been terminated spending money to continue running cameras that supposedly no one is looking at is definitely not an indicator they are just run by the federal government to spy on everyone and only a wacko conspiracy theorist would think so via rednines 27 jul 26 46 893 notes share tweet worldofultimatemusic the world of ultimate music via afloweroutofstone 27 jul 26 1 035 notes share tweet next page something went wrong try loading again loading more posts