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e went around to all of his friends and said hey i ve got a brother he s pretty proud he loves talking to him in a baby voice and constantly tells him he s so cute or you ve got chubby cheeks these are most likely things that he has heard me say one thousand times a day but they are pretty cute to hear him repeat them he has a love hate relationship with the binki he either loves it or gives me this look of how could you when i try to give it to him at his last doctor s appointment the doctor said he has an umbilical cord hernia seen in some of the pics i am hoping it goes away on its own so he doesn t have to have surgery bright eyed typically how he looks as he is set down for a nap love his little tongue i am glad owen insists on joining in so that we can have pictures like this posted by kristine l at 7 56 pm 1 comment friday june 06 2014 ames one month i can t believe my little buddy is already one month old here are a few things about ames at one month he is seriously the best baby he s a great eater an okay sleeper but he is just so content all of the time he really only cries when he is hungry or tired owen is still obsessed with him and loves touching his face ears eyes everything whenever i have ames on the floor or the bed owen has to be laying right next to him like literally right next to him and touching every inch of his body needless to say he doesn t get set down a whole lot when owen is awake he is probably the loudest baby of all time he is seriously a little grunty mcgrunterson i finally had to move him out of our room because he would start grunting about an hour before he would wake up so i would basically just be awake waiting for him to wake up he also makes this sound when he grunts that sounds like a baby goat it s hilarious he finally started smiling a few days ago and i about melted into a puddle on the floor i think the first smiles are one of the best parts of motherhood he loves being swaddled and held close my sister in law megan gave me a soly baby wrap and the second he gets put into that he falls right to sleep and sleeps for hours along with being loud when he wakes up he is also so gassy he gives little or not so little toots for about the first 10 minutes of him waking up just like his dad he has definitely started losing his hair on the top of his head just like owen i thought he would get lucky and keep it but nope it started falling out at about 3 weeks he is his brother s clone i sometimes think he has a look of his own but then other times i feel like i didn t even get a new baby just went back in time he is starting to fill out a lot i could kiss those chubby little cheeks until the end of time and still feel like i didn t kiss them enough sweetest little face sitting up like a big boy oops probably the greatest photo of all time i just can t i spy a photobomber ok fine you can crash our photo shoot smolder i love me a sleeping baby posted by kristine l at 8 41 pm 1 comment wednesday may 07 2014 ames birth story this isn t really a post that i have looked forward to writing but i wrote down owen s birth story after he was born and have enjoyed going back and remembering certain details i am not sure i will feel the same about this birth down the road but hey it s good to write it down while the final outcome was of course a special one i can t sugarcoat the fact that getting ames here was honestly one of the worst moments of my life i know it sounds dramatic i am 100 not looking for any type of sympathy i know people go through this type of thing all of the time but it was a little more drama than i was looking for this will be long and detailed so feel free to skip over a few paragraphs to the ending i had a really hard time finding a doctor that i liked out here the doctors in utah are very different than outside of utah i was finally able to find one that i liked but it wasn t until i was about 29 weeks along at one of my first appointments they learned i had a 4th degree tear with owen so there is an automatic offering of a c section or induction if you want it wasn t even something on my radar at the time because i guess i didn t realize the severity of a 4th degree tear i went back and forth for weeks and tried to do as much research as i could i ultimately decided on an induction something i was so anti before this and may 1st was set the friday before my induction i woke up in the middle of the night with some contractions and cramping i was freaking out because i went from absolutely nothing not dilated or effaced with owen to having him within 48 hours so i figured if something was already happening this baby was ready to come my mother in law wasn t set to come out to help for a few days so i was very anxious i started lining up babysitters just in case nothing happened on friday but i woke up with the same thing on saturday morning i was trying to take it as easy as possible as i did not want to go into labor then luckily nothing happened until early wednesday morning i woke up with contractions that quickly made themselves to the 3 5 minute mark mostly 3 minute and stayed there for quite awhile after a few hours of not sleeping i decided to get up and curl my hair what any sane person in labor does because i thought we would be heading into the hospital the contractions were very consistent but they weren t strong enough for me to feel like it was time to go in yet finally at about 8 am we packed our bags and started making our way to the door i decided to eat breakfast first and when i did my contractions completely stopped i was so confused because they had been that way for over 6 hours with me laying down standing up sitting down etc i was still thinking something would happen that day but nothing did the next morning i was set to go in at 7 am for the induction they have you call an hour before to make sure they have room for you i did and unfortunately they were full i had been up for a few hours with anxious nerves so i was luckily able to go back to bed for a few hours i called again 4 hours later and they still didn t have room they gave me the ol don t call us we ll call you line i was so bummed and was convinced we were just never meant to have this baby finally around 3 pm they called and asked if i wanted to come in uh yeah i ve been waiting around all day we got to the hospital around 4 pm but they were doing a doctor shift change around 5 30 so they didn t want to start me on anything until the new doctor was there since she would likely be the one to deliver in my head i was thinking we were for sure going to be having the baby in the middle of the night just off how long inductions have taken for other people checked in and ready to go 39 weeks they checked me and i was only at a 1 and 50 effaced same as my doctor appt on friday i was shocked since it seemed like my body had been doing something they didn t get me started on anything until 7 pm and it wasn t pitocin which is the only thing i have heard of with inductions it was a drug to ripen the cervix before starting pitocin the medicine takes about 12 hours for anything to happen so we set up camp and i had it in my mind that we would be having the baby in the morning i hardly slept that night between nerves nurses checking in on me bright monitors the most uncomfortable bed ever etc finally in the morning they checked me and i was exactly the same as where i was before so they were going to try a different drug that also helped thin the cervix this drug brought on some more powerful contractions so i decided to get some pain meds they gave me some drug that was extremely strong wow what a trip within a minute of them putting it into my iv my head was literally spinning and i was talking all sort of crazy i was seeing dancing turtles and i remember imagining my entire childhood neighborhood lined out on a map as a musical scale i don t know how to describe this but it was vivid and made complete sense to me i even asked jordan to text my whole family saying tell them i said that this drug is the shi he thought i was nuts but i was persistent that he text them this luckily he didn t the drugs immediately knocked me out and i was able to get some much needed rest for a few hours off to la la land i don t know what is possessing me to actually put this picture on the blog probably my extreme lack of sleep but i sent this picture to my sister after i got the drugs needless to say i was happy 3 seconds after this photo was taken i passed out after the 4 hour dose they checked me again and still no progress i was so frustrated because i had been having these crazy painful contractions they did another round of the drugs and the pain meds and i was again sent off to la la land again after the 4 hours they checked me and i was maybe at a 2 and 60 effaced at this point i was really starting to lose my patience why was this taking so long and why wouldn t they just start me on the good stuff to get the baby here i was so tired hadn t really slept in 3 days hungry they had me on a liquid diet and it just seemed like whatever they were trying was not working since it was clear we were not having a baby that day jordan went to pick up my mother in law and owen to come and try to brighten my spirits they started me on another dose of the induction drug at this point i was having really painful contractions but i decided to hold off on the pain meds since it made me crazy and i couldn t even keep my eyes open and didn t want owen to see me like that as i sat in the hospital room i just started losing it i could not stop crying and was in so much pain finally jordan came back and i was able to see owen he was the cutest thing ever and kept asking me in the sweetest quietest voice you okay mom he was very concerned about the machines and such that i was hooked up to i was still having extremely powerful and painful contractions about every 3 minutes so i would have jordan or my mother in law distract him so i could breathe it out i even said to my mother in law if my contractions are this strong at a 2 i can t imagine what they feel like right before giving birth with no epidural with owen i got an epidural right away because the anesthesiologist wanted to go to sleep so i never experienced a true powerful contraction at about 7 pm jordan left to take owen and amy home and i could not get those drugs fast enough the nurse checked me at luckily i was at a 4 wahoo the plan was still do continue with this other drug for another 12 hour dose and get started with pitocin in the morning but she was going to check with the doctor since i had made some progress she gave me the pain medication and i was immediately asleep these drugs knocked me right out i don t know how long it was but very suddenly i was awake with the worst pain i had ever had in my entire life i hadn t felt any of the contractions this soon after the previous doses and with my extremely foggy mind i thought that maybe i was just imagining it i waited for another contraction and it was just as bad i was writhing in pain in the dark alone and had to grip the bed to prevent myself from screaming i called jordan at about 7 40 to check where he was and he was just leaving our house about 20 minutes away i told him to hurry because i was in an extreme amount of pain i pushed the nurse call button and asked that she come in the doctor came in instead and i was trying to describe how much pain i was in but the drugs had seriously knocked me out and i could hardly even formulate a coherent sentence he asked if i wanted the epidural and i said yes it took a few minutes for them to get that started and i was seriously having a hard time breathing through the contractions i told them i didn t know how i was going to sit still through the epidural during the setup i was able to breathe myself through them but when it came down to the real deal i was at the point of gritting my teeth together and screaming that i couldn t do it i was somehow able to hold still during the marking of the epidural but right before they inserted the needle i was able to gasp i think i need to push since i was drugged and probably pretty slurred the nurse asked if she heard me correctly but i couldn t even help it and my body started to push she immediately called the nurses to get prepped for delivery they somehow were able to finish the epidural and told me it would be 20 30 minutes for me to feel any effect i laid back on the table in a ton of pain i could feel everything motionless and not really able to open my eyes i finally peeked them open to see chaos with about 10 different people in the room rushing to prep the room the nurses told me not to push but i couldn t help it at all i literally had no control over my body or my mind and looking back i am sure i was in a minor state of shock with the next contraction i couldn t help but push really hard and splat it was like my water exploded everywhere in fact i think it did because the nurses were kind of freaking out finally jordan made it back and i am sure it was quite the scene to walk into the nurses were rushing around and his wife was screaming bloody murder seriously i look back to the screams that i was making and i am mortified in fact the sound of my own screaming kept me up that first night haha but i wish there was a way i could describe how not in control i was i had no control over my body my mind what i said how loud i was screaming etc it was kind of like this weird out of body experience with the next contraction my body started pushing again and i was trying to gain control of my mind to be able to do it but it was useless but somehow what i did was good enough to get the head out and my contraction was still going everyone was telling me to keep pushing but i wasn t able to get my strength back and had kind of stopped breathing and the next push did nothing the nurse who was coaching me was finally able to get my focus my eyes peeked open just a tad and made eye contact with her took a deep breath and at 8 09 pm with one last push baby was here 6 lbs 10 oz 19 5 inches long great set of lungs i was still kind of freaking out with my mind so foggy so i just laid back on the bed with my eyes closed sobbing i couldn t believe what just happened this was not the birth that i had imagined at all i felt so overwhelmed and not myself in fact i felt like a complete nut job finally after a few moments they brought the baby back over to me to do some skin to skin contact i could honestly hardly keep my eyes open and was so weak i also had cords and iv lines running all over the place so needless to say it didn t go well i couldn t nurse and i could hardly move all i wanted to do is close my eyes and go to sleep attempting the skin to skin jordan took the baby back while i tried to get back into a normal mental state i was determined to get these drugs to wear off so i could enjoy my baby little ames was having ...