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Text of the page (random words):
h time it s like i don t know how to feel the word h a p p y yes my exterior looks very jolly and very much smiley smiley but i know deep inside that that is not what i m genuinely feeling i just don t want to talk about these since i know that it wouldn t even nudge someone and come talk to me for a minute that sincere talk where i can just let everything out every single sigh that i have i don t really know i don t know what i want at the moment maybe if someone would approach me to try and reach out i know i would just push them away cause i really don t know what or why such a contradiction to what i was previously saying above i just really don t know just don t i hope i can find answers in the coming days ai hope that someone could shed some light so that i can see where i am headed what i want what i really long for cause slowly my insides are deteriorating it eats itself up slowly and painfully and fast really fast posted by jhay at 07 08 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday 10 december 2012 huli i shouldn t be doing this right now because i am not supposed to this has never been right and it will never be right i knew it right from the very beginning kung tatanungin mo ako kung saan ako saya o sa tama ang sasabihin ko sayo ay sa saya sa isang kadahilanan kasi masaya ka ako you re happy and you don t care what other people would say or think you don t care if other people belittle you for something that makes you happy i think if you really know something is right it doesn t matter what anyone else thinks you have to be true to yourself you may be alone in what you believe but to do anything else is wrong but there is a big but that needs to be considered yes you are happy but aren t you going to make someone or the ones you love sad that s the question i have always been asking myself if i choose my happiness wouldn t the ones i love suffer minsan gawin mo man kung ano ang mas tama alam mo sa sarili mo na kung ano ang naramdaman ay siyang laging mas totoo chico loco i ve tried to stay away but i really can t napagsabihan na nga rin ako ng mga kaibigan ko na wag ko na ituloy ang kung ano man ito maghanap nung may posibilidad ung may chance ba hindi ung aasa na lang ako at hanggang pag asa na lang ang gagawin ko nakasanayan ko na rin kasi ang ganito hindi ko rin alam kung bakit palagi na lang ako bumabalik sa kung anu mang ginagawa kong ito at ang mahirap pa iisang sitwasyon lang ang lagi kong kinalalagyan ni hindi man lang ako nakakawala sa paulit ulit na mga pangyayaring ito sabi nila sa akin paano mo malalaman kung hindi mo ita try pero paano ko ita try kung malaki ang tayang nakalaan tulad sa poker isang malaking risk ang pag taya mo ng all in kung alam mo naman na yung hawak mong cards eh hindi ka naman talaga maipapanalo kung i try ko man meron ba naman akong mapapala oo sasaya ako pero sa bandang dulo ako pa rin naman ung walang mapapala hehehe oo gusto ko malaman ang magiging reaksyon mo kung malaman mo pero parang ayaw ko na lang din malaman kasi ayaw kong ma disappoint hindi naman sa umaasa ako pero nandun na yun eh hindi na mawawala na aasa at aasa ka pa rin kahit papaano gusto ko na maging close tayo pero hindi ko rin yun magawa nagawa hindi ko alam kung paano mag rereact sayo hindi ko alam kung paano makikipag usap sa iyo ng hindi ako nag iisip ng mga bagay bagay gusto ko mag start ng isang conversation pero lagi ako napipigilan ng kung sinu mang nasa utak ko sandali wala talaga wala eh kung meron mang dahilan to katulad ng ipinipilit mo hindi ko alam hindi ko talaga alam oo gusto kita yun lang ang alam ko kung bakit kailan nagsimula papaano hindi ko alam ni hindi ko nga alam kung bakit sa lahat ng tao eh ikaw pa sa yo pa paano mo ba malalaman kung paano kung kailan kung bakit out of respect i had wanted to share my fears and my doubts i was quickly learning that you can only share what others want to hear anything else needs to be kept in a locked place inside you even if it festers and churns and finally makes you crazy oh sure they loved the boy i pretended to be the good boy the cause no trouble boy the normal boy in my warm false cocoon of this love i had believed they d love the hidden boy the boy who cried at night for just a touch just a smile just a recognition to that someone sorry sorry i haven t got the strength to face you and tell you the things that i really wanted to say things that has been kept secret by those who are close to me fearing that when everything has been revealed things will greatly change some paragraphs are taken from a story i have read thanks to the author posted by jhay at 00 48 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday 8 may 2012 crossing out one out of many annyeong haseyo this is what is keeping me busy nowadays it has been my dream to learn another language ever since i have started working i don t really know why but this is what i want and now that i have the time and the resources to add a little bit of new things under my resume i took the time to learn the language of something they call infinitely yours yes that korea korean is their official language in korea and also mandarin but mostly korean worldwide it is said there are millions who are speaking this language many of the millions who speak korean are those who are affiliated directly to the country merchants businessmen and those who have married a korean and the remaining are those like me that are just learning the language just because of pure interest too formal of a post right hehehe it is just out of the blue when i decided to learn the language i was watching something in the net and then i said to myself that i want to learn korean what i did learn first is how to write hangul korea shand writing system hehehe that was just pure wrong as to what i have learned from a source in the net it said that just like a child that learned how to speak first rather than writing i should start to learn to speak first too late for that since i learned the writing system fast hehehe so far i have learned quite a few things like saying hi good night good morning nice to meet you and the basic stuffs but i want more hehehe thanks to our very reliable youtube and google i can learn more without even paying for the lessons hehehe oh i just remembered i need to watch the lesson for today bye or should i say annyeonghi kasayo annyeong hashimnika _ btw i also wanted to be a member of a popular korean boy group is also the reason why i wanted to learn the language hehehe posted by jhay at 06 50 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday 27 april 2012 sa tinagal ng panahon haayyyy sa tinagal tagal na panahon eh nasimulan ko na ulit itong pagsusulat dito marami na ang nangyari simula nung naging iba ang mundong ginagalawan ko maraming nagbago may mga nawala may mga dumaan may mag dumating merong mga nagpaalam merong mga andyan pa rin may paparating at kung anu ano pang mga bagay bagay buti na lang kinakaya ko pa itong mga ito kung sa bagay ibang tao na nga naman ako ngayun hindi na ako ung tulad ng dati na panay ka emo han lang ang nalalaman sa bawat araw na ginawa ahehehe sa totoo lang meron pa rin namang parte sa akin na malungkot pero natatabunan na yun ng mga bagay na alam kong higit na importante ahehehe buhay tungkol sa buhay buhay ko sa totoo lang ganun pa rin naman sya pero ngayon mas matino na akong mag isip ng tungkol sa mga bagay bagay i mean mas matured na ako kumpara sa dati kong sarili naiisip ko na ngayon na hindi lang sa akin umiikot ang mundong ginagalawan ko may mga taong mas matindi pa ang pinag dadaanan kumpara sa mga napagdadaanan ko hehe siguro nga sa edad kong ito eh nararapat lang na mas maging mature na ako mag isip hehehe pangarap hehehe mataas pa rin ako mangarap hanggang sa ngayun sino ba ang hindi bukod sa libre eh masarap pa ang feeling kapag nangangarap ka dahil abot mo lahat ahehehe sa ngayon alam kong hindi ko pa kayang marating ung mga pangarap na yun pero balang araw eh makakahanap ako ng paraan para marating ko yun alam kong hindi sa lahat ng oras eh magiging madali ang pag abot ko sa mga yun pero alam ko rin naman sa sarili ko nakakayanin ko rin yun balang araw tutal nagsisimula pa lang naman ako so matagal tagal na panahon pa ang bubunuin ko sa ngayon ok na muna ako dito kung nasan ako hindi ko naman sinasabing mag se settle na lang ako sa kung anu ang nandyan ang gusto ko lang is ung tipong alam kong handa na akong sumabak sa kung anu man ang haharapin ko bago ako magsimula responsibilidad ito ang mahirap dito eh hindi ko kasi kayang i evaluate ang sarili ko sa kung responsable ba ako o hindi basta ang alam ko lang eh saktong responsible lang ako tamad nga kasi ako ayoko ring pagmukhain ung sarili kong bida sa aspetong ito kaya pass tayo dito ahehehe kaibigan sabi ko nga dati parang hindi ko kakayanin na mabuhay na walang kaibigan hindi ako sure kung isang araw malaman ko na lang na wala na pala akong mga kaibigan lalo na kung malaman nila ang mundong ginagalawan ko pero ngayon alam na alam ko na marami akong kaibigan maraming marami hindi ko man sila nakakasama ng madalas alam kong nandyan lang sila makakausap makakaramay ayan nagiging drama na pero sa totoo lang hindi ko inakalang mapapapasok ko sila sa isang mundong gawa ko sa mundong ako lang dati ang nakapaloob tinanggap nila ang mundo ko tulad ng pagtanggap ko sa mundo nila kung baga sa venn diagram merong mga parts na talagang mag o over lap hehehe sa tinagal ng panahon marami na ang nagpaalam merong mga nakaka alala pa rin at meron din naman mga hindi na hehehe kilala nyo na kung sinu kayo merong mga dumating na bago na kahit alam kong mas nakaka angat sila sa akin eh alam kong hindi nila tinitignan kung nasaang posisyon ako pag ibig lablayp kung baga ito ung pinaka masaklap na parte eh pero siguro sa ngayun hindi ko na to pinapansin mas busy ako sa pagpapatakbo ng buhay ko bilang single sa ngayon nasasabi ko sa sarili ko na mas masaya ako kahit na paminsan minsan eh makikita mo akong nagmumuni muni sa kawalan hehehe hindi mo naman kasi maalis sa isang tao na umasa umasang mayroong nakalaan para sa kanya hehehe ito drama na naman hehehe posted by jhay at 19 03 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday 8 april 2012 a moment of silence today as everybody is celebrating the resurrection of our almighty god we on the other hand is grieving for the passing of one of our beloved relative we were all stricken by the news we thought that tito has been recovering well from his illness we all thought that he can surely overcome this obstacle in front of his like he always did but all our guesses were wrong we have not anticipated this coming they said that he was doing well and that in no time he will recover but then it happened i didn t know just what to do but to give them the support they needed i could not give comforting talks and words to them all i can give them is hugs and the tears we shared yes i ve been there when i lost my grandmother but still everything is really hard to handle it is never really easy losing someone in your life especially someone who has been there for you always it is never easy how you can just let go of everything that both you and that person shared to my ate em who lost the first man that she ever loved her father let me just say this i ll be here if you need someone to talk to i ll be here if you need someone to share your tears i ll always be here as your friend and as your cousin to my tito you can now rest peacefully with our lord please watch over tita ate em faye choy micah junie and most especially haley we will miss you posted by jhay at 10 22 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday 18 october 2011 playing with numbers 77111114105 83111114114121 115111114114121 116971089710397 104105110100105 107111 1109710997110 116971089710397 103105110117115116111 105116111110103 1109711497114971091009710997110 107111 1129711497 11597121111 10797115105 9710897109 107111110103 10997108105110103 10997108105 105116111 7797103107971059810510397110 11697121111 67108111115101 11697121111 1079712197 9712197119 1071113297110103 110971101031219712197114105110103 105116111 10797115105 9710897109 107111 11097 1099710897107105 97110103 1121111151059810510810510097100 11097 1089712111797110 109111 97107111 7697108111 11097 107117110103 109971089710997110 109111110103 10510797119 97110103 103117115116111 107111 77971089710997110103 11012197110 101104 1089710897121111 10797 116971089710397 6510897109 107111110103 10997108105 112101114111 115105103101 11297 114105110 97107111 971089711010397110 1109710997110103 11210510310510897110 107111 101 105116111 10897110103 1109710997110 117110103 11097103981059810510397121 110103 1159712197 11597 97107105110 1159712197 115979897121 110103 10511597110103 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