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ts by thedarkphantom april 26 2026 12 56 pm read a chapter fighter pilot s daughter by mary lawlor read a chapter is new added feature at as the pages turn here you ll be able to read the first chapters of books of all genres to see if you like them before you buy them today we are featuring the memoir fighter pilot s daughter by mary lawlor enjoy fighter pilot s daughter growing up in the sixties and the cold war tells the story of mary lawlor s dramatic roving life as a warrior s child a family biography and a young woman s vision of the cold war fighter pilot s daughter narrates the more than many transfers the family made from miami to california to germany as the cold war demanded each chapter describes the workings of this traveling household in a different place and time the book s climax takes us to paris in may 68 where mary until recently a dutiful military daughter has joined the legendary student demonstrations against among other things the vietnam war meanwhile her father is flying missions out of saigon for that very same war though they are on opposite sides of the political divide a surprising reconciliation comes years later fighter pilot s daughter is available at amazon ___________________________ chapter one in the 1920s when jack was a child a framed photograph of his father stood in the living room of their house on richmond avenue in south orange new jersey my grandfather edmond vincent lawlor had come to the united states in the early years of the twentieth century when he was barely into his teens on september 19 1916 he became a u s citizen not long after he signed up for officers candidate school at princeton and got ready to join thousands of others in the world war later renamed world war i the picture on the table shows him in uniform stiff with duty as a household decoration it signaled the deep connection between the nation and the family demonstrated through military service papa as we called our grandfather gives a faint smile in the picture there s nothing macho in this expression no hint he was imagining himself heroic he was a devout catholic and would have understood his soldierly commitment as god s will fighting on the side of the yanks also gave him a chance to show his affection for america this was the country that had taken him in given him a job in a powder factory offered a new life to his mother and aunt world war i was still a pulsating memory when jack was a boy for him it would have been a murky tale of faraway places and mysterious danger the photo showed his father on the edge of all this an adventurer and a stunningly different person from the cheerful gray suited insurance salesman who came home every day at six o clock papa lawlor at officers candidate school near the end of wwi edmond never went to the war it ended by the time he finished ocs but iremember that picture of him in uniform there in the many living rooms of my own early years a reminder that papa was not only the mild affable irishman we loved but a man who knew how to use a gun had been ready to expose himself to violence on behalf of our country i say papa smiles in the photo but when i look at it now the expression isn t so easy to read the face is actually pretty blank you could say it s a mask an empty screen hiding papa s feelings even his sense of himself as a navy ensign the eyes are aimed slightly to his right off camera as if he s not entirely engaged in the portrait if you keep looking movement stirs in his face it s in the eyes of the beholder of course but he begins to look like he s ready for something else and can barely stand the still pose is this simply his characteristic lack of vanity does he want to get going with the soldiering or is he itching to get out of the uniform go home where he belongs as jack came to the end of his school years the laughing family and shady streets of south orange started to look tame he tried a few semesters at seton hall university not far from home but his performance was less than impressive letters show he was already captured by thoughts of himself far away across the continent perhaps the ocean but he never looked down on his local new jersey world it was the setting of boyhood stories he told us when we were kids it was the place he gladly returned to after hot summer days in downtown new york working as a messenger for the japanese cotton and silk trading company south orange was his mother s world it was where nan ferris lawlor presided over his beloved brothers and sisters my kin as he jokingly called them in his first uniform standing on the dappled lawn of the house on richmond avenue he grins at the camera his arm around her he looks happy to be so grounded there and so ready to go away he wanted adventure he wanted to go to sea to learn navigation and he wanted to fly in march 1942 jack enrolled as a cadet at the u s merchant marine academy established by congress in 1938 the merchant marine cadet corps trained sailors for commercial ships that could convert to military service in times of war now with the demands of world war ii pressing merchant marines were needed for duty in less time than the formal curriculum allowed jack spent three months in the class room at the academy s temporary facilities on the chrysler estate in great neck long island courses included seamanship cargo handling maritime engineering math and ship construction he studied hard and did well letters home written in an exuberant voice show how excited he was to be learning the life of a seaman getting ready to see the world in preparing for a naval science exam in the spring of 1943 he wrote his father if i don t pass it at least i tried i know you ll be interested to hear this dad knowing how disappointed you were with the time i wasted in seton hall i realize that myself now dad more than ever and i m going to do my best to make up for it he was affectionate with his parents and wrote as if pleasing them mattered a great deal for all his desire to get away from home and out into the world his identification with the family was absolute gleeful at what the merchant marines were preparing him to do jack found talents he didn t know he had in the seamanship training especially in navigation for the signaling course he had to commit endless codes to memory he would have to pass a test that required sending eight words per minute in semaphore and another eight in morse it s going to be tough he complained because there is nothing interesting about it it s just plain memory work but you ve got to know this stuff on board ship so it s a good thing practicing as an able bodied seaman was another story yesterday afternoon we shipped an 800 pound anchor over the side to a barge and there were only three of us to move it today we had quite a thrill they sent tex and me aloft to paint the masts in a boatswain s swing boy oh boy but you re away way up when you do that and when we painted the top part and got down to the spar we had to crawl out on our bellies to paint the end of the thing god i liked to die that mast was swaying with the ship and me out on the yard that was bending under my weight i m so darn tired from hanging on that i can hardly lift the pen but i think i ll live with his six foot frame good looks and rough amiability jack made friends easily time with his new pals was often brief as the advanced pace of merchant marine training meant assignments were given out quickly in letters home he complained at having to say goodbye i made quite a friend with this guy tex but he s due to go home in two weeks gosh it s lousy this way your friends come and go so quickly in a place like this as jack s first voyage approached he was glum about the separations there are only 4 of us left out of our whole gang since this afternoon for 3 shipped out then boy it really seemed tough saying goodbye to those 3 guys this afternoon and we re a pretty lonesome bunch tonight the letter has a prophetic tone to it there would be a lot of this in years to come jack would soon toughen up learn to slap the guys on the back and say good bye fast he knew he might never see them again and he stopped writing home about it reading this letter about the three guys shipping out so many decades later i feel badly for my dad then i see mornings on the tarmac when jack is leaving us for some long term mission and the sight of a neighborhood comes up receding in the back window of our car friends then boyfriends wave good bye of course for dad and his remaining pals another kind of loss lurked at the sight of the waiting sea bags and in the last terse good byes where they were going death lurked right beside the adventures on may 11 1942 he got his shipping papers rumors had been circulating that his cohort would have their first orders soon jack s letters are ambivalent about it twice he uses the word terrific where terrible should be a few paragraphs after announcing the news of the shipping papers he writes it seems terrific to think that i ll be actually leaving home for such a long time i keep trying to picture what it s going to be like i just dread the thought of the dam last day when i have to say so long to you all a week later he and his pals set out by train for san francisco where they would be assigned to a ship in the club car with his friend ray barrett he penned a note posted by the porter from pittsburgh describing his sad self in not entirely convincing terms well that dreadful day when i had to leave you is almost past and let me tell you the big tough guy who never got homesick isn t so big and tough any more and this afternoon at penn sta he was plenty homesick but after we fastened up we had a good chicken dinner for 1 65 less 10 for the uniform i felt much better but it was terrific leaving you in san francisco before reporting for ship duty he had the time of his life he and his friends were treated like visiting celebrities i m in the best place in town the hotel francis drake and a gal just took my picture i ll send you one in the same letter he tells them our picture was in the s f chronicle i ll send you one of those too the s f chamber of commerceis having a national maritime day and we were picked to pose for the paper he sent a clipping along a photo of himself and a fellow cadet in dress uniform smiling as they explain the details of a model cargo ship bridge to a san franciscan named virginia haley it s hard to tell whether the center of the photo is the ship model dad s grin or haley s legs at the persian room on may 21 he laughs at the camera in the company of an unnamed actress in a white pillbox hat the next night at charlie low s forbidden city a supper club on sutter street he stands beside a local actress looking awkward but dapper nonetheless another night in the persian room jack glances at the photographer while talking with ray barrett and another friend from the academy over cocktails and smokes they re obviously enjoying themselves but something serious hovers between them ray wrote on the inside of the photo sleeve we went to the academy together and now we re going to sea together need i say more than all the luck in the world to you amid the dancing and cocktails and the photographers they were having a ball they were also thinking about what was coming next he was assigned to the grace line s santa clara the ship is a corker it s big fast and well armed thank god he wrote to the family our stateroom was a mess when we first got into it but today we fixed it up and it s pretty nice we have plenty of room our own bath and lots of closet and locker space there are three of us in the room and we get along swell the meals are swell and we eat in the officers mess it s a break being on a troop ship because the food is always extra good on them and besides they are well protected earlier still in san francisco he had met some of his superiors and written home the officers are swell guys and surprisingly young we are with the third mate tonight and the girls jack s sisters ann and marg would go nuts over him we are learning more than i thought it was possible for me to commit to my thick cranium just through these young fellars the skipper is only 35 how about that in ten weeks they would be back in new york jack was out of his head with excitement but mindful of his attachment to home in a postscript he notes i m damn happy but a little lonesome by the end of his first year jack had been at sea for nine months still he kept in touch with south orange regularly he addresses the household as dear home and signs his letters salty expressions of affection intensify as time distance grow on the eve of his first trip to the pacific he wrote you have said you were proud of me well i m pretty damn proud to call myself one of you at times the words have a faint ring of guilt for being so far from home for having a great time at it you are the grandest mother and dad a fellow could have and i ll always look forward to the days i can spend with you again jack was out on a cruise when edward haugh who would soon become his close friend and brother in law entered the merchant marine academy in 1943 five years later ed married frannie s younger sister mary ellen like a mirror opposite of our own family mary ellen and ed had four sons more or less our ages much later after my dad and uncle had become experienced seamen and pilots after they d seen violent action in war it was the haugh boys who learned about the most dramatic events the violent ones as girls and even women we were never told those things bits and pieces reached our ears fragments of stories about crashes and escapes through enemy territory we would wonder mystified about where our father had been how these things happened what he felt and did i imagined veiled scenes in dark jungles dad slipping through the high growth his terrified gaze hunting the perimeter he would be operating on deadly survival instincts hungry thirsty wet a specter as frightening as the enemies who missed him he crept in absolute silence the blue eyes like flashlights pointing the way or he was down in the sea clinging to the wing of a plane waiting for some helicopter to lift him out these images came and went whether he was home or away during the return cruise to new york in early august jack s exhilaration with life as a merchant marine came under the cloud of one particular commander the man threw his weight around made his presence felt among the cadets making them do unnecessary things just because he could jack got in his sights and found himself in a power struggle with a personal charge to it he restrained himself from telling the guy off when he demanded that a course checked for accuracy several times already be backed up with a series of alternative routes a job that called for meticulous time consuming calculations jack took a deep breath and performed the useless task but swore he would get out of this ma...