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Text of the page (random words):
afternoon they had just walked through my neighbours front garden and were standing in front of our house my landlord tells me that it is ten years since he saw a boar on the farm but they are here now they always have been all around us but i have suspected that they were closing in for several weeks now about three weeks ago i noticed fresh rooting just across the road from the house i didn t really make anything of that at the time we see a lot of that around here then there was the extraordinary business of an animal eating all of the arum lilies just when i was thinking what sort of an animal would do that i stepped out of my front door and bumped right into them they have been here for a few weeks and i am pretty sure that they are here to stay now this is a superb opportunity for the naturalist in me i can actually lie in bed and watch for them in the fields across from me the trail camera is out it is not so good for everybody else the boar are not dangerous and they will always try and escape us unless a you corner an animal and leave it no escape b you or your dog attack their babies they will defend their young and they are powerful animals in the wood that i owned in east sussex a rottweiller was killed by boar just before i bought the land it was an aggressive dog and the owner had taken to walking it in the wood at night to avoid other dog walkers a rottie is no match for a female boar with young i don t know what a rottweiller normally weighs but my gsd was forty kilos and a mature female boar would be about a hundred and twenty kilos and they are not pussy cats i have never considered them to be dangerous but then i have never tried to eat their babies i am just not that stupid what it does mean is that there are places now where i cannot walk fizz off lead she is that stupid the farm fields are still good as i can see everything around tight and overgrown country lanes are out of bounds for a bit fizz does a really good job of protecting me from bears and wolves the very least that i can do in return is to protect her from herself is it still safe in the garden it s safe good girl i can walk her amongst the boar on a lead they will not attack me and if they come too close i will just pick her up so we went up to the bluebell woods to hunt for them at this point some sort of trained tracker dog would have been useful but i just had to go with what was available in the video that i am about to show you when you tube has uploaded it fizz is really trying to find a boar for me but she has never seen one and doesn t realise how big they are she keeps looking under leaves for them i am looking at how boar relate to the bluebells one of the arguments put forward by their detractors is that boar uproot and destroy bluebell woods and that they eat bluebell bulbs my old wood was a bluebell wood with wild boar in it and i have been watching them for fifteen years they have no interest in bluebells they root up the tracks that run through the bluebells but they stay on the tracks and avoid the flowers if they wanted to eat them these woods would be a feast for them this is where we filmed the young boar recently there are plenty of animals in this wood bluebells are actually poisonous to most animals but then so are arum lilies we didn t find any boars but we did see some nice flowers this characteristic one sided droop is often given as an identifying feature of our native bluebells and it is but it is important to note that the flowers grow from all sides of the stem and this elegance is only a stage in their lives when the flowers first emerge the stem is completely upright and later as the flowers go to seed it straightens out again this next flower is a genuine native hyacinthoides non scripta but just at a slightly inelegant stage of it s development and that happens on the edge of this wood the arum lilies are giving a fine display either the boar here have no taste for this poisonous root or they just haven t found them yet i like this flower i think that it is very beautiful and it is a shame to see it singled out for destruction but animals have to eat one of the nicest things about this wood is that the walk up here takes us through the farm fields there is no danger of me being surprised by wild animals here and fizz gets plenty of opportunity to run and play i will leave you with a few images of fizz preventing me from photographing a beautiful little speedwell and otherwise doing what she does best get off me you stupid animal there is nothing in my pocket share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest like loading bluebells nature wild arum wild boar wildflowers butterflies danger days out insects tramp s bestiary tramp s herbal wild flowers trails of destruction may 8 2015 fodrambler 46 comments this isn t going to be a sad post it is going to be quite an interesting post i just need to tell you about what happened yesterday you remember the little black lamb that i showed you a few days ago well sadly i found him dead on the roadside hit by a car it happens and i guess he was always going to be the last one that they saw if you walk in the countryside you get used to seeing badgers foxes and rabbits lying by the roadside and this is not really any different but i did feel sorry for him what really spoilt my day was what happened next his mum was not going to leave her dead lamb and she was wandering up and down a busy road with her other lamb trotting along behind her it was pretty obvious that there was going to be another accident if we didn t get her off the road and i got met with a bit of a negative response eventually jeremy for that was his name came out and picked up his dead lamb and moved the others to safety so that was that i hear a lot of oh you townies just don t understand our country ways but i do sorry little lamb i should have stolen you then my day picked up when i went to see the little dog downstairs fizz is a philosopher and she ought to be studied in universities she is a bit like that frenchman jean paul sartre but brighter and she doesn t use so many words in fact her whole philosophical argument could be summed up in a single sentence the world is full of stuff that is not fizz but that is not important it is perhaps not as complex as existentialism but it is true and it helps me to exist so off we went to la la land fizz knows some nice places to walk and she can make even an angry heart forget help me little animal for i have been hurt are you magic how come you are there when i need you why do you even exist thank you and here have a nice flower hello was that butterfly called fizz i don t think so i am going to crawl under the gate now if you follow me you can tickle my tummy i want to look at flowers bush vetch it s a pea and so it has those grab onto anything tendrils and i think that it is wonderful it is one of those plants that helps to make the jungle an absolute mess i can t wait forever okay i am just going to take a few moments out to check that they did her hair cut properly sometimes people are slackers and they miss the little important bits you know what i mean everything seems to be in order and they have done a good job get down little monkey i am fixed i am ready to begin my tale we are walking along the track observing nature and playing games with the flowers dog s mercury this is the female of the species this is a dog in mercury all right i am fixed all ready as we are walking along i have been noticing signs of animal activity little holes everywhere in my mind i am seeing snuffle holes these are little holes that badger s make as they dig for worms they sometimes look like little animal burrows but they don t go anywhere they are only about six to eight inches deep there is not much that is unusual about this we are very close to a badger main sett and there is a lot of activity further along the track but there is a lot here and i am a bit surprised because we are still a way from the sett very active badgers i think then i noticed something beside this hole this isn t actually a snuffle hole this one is where an animal has dug up and eaten the root of wild arum badgers do eat the roots of wild arum i have read of this described as a winter activity when food is short and we are in badger country this is wild arum arum maculatum to us this is a deadly poisonous plant every part of it contains toxins that can kill a human the reason that it doesn t kill people is that those toxins cause immediate and painful burns and blisters and if we accidentally put it in our mouths then we quickly spit it out again however we can eat it the roots are edible but they need preparation i think it is roasting but that is only from memory this is not a good one to eat unless you are starving but remember that most animals are starving this next one is very edible and in fact if you don t eat this then you are an american donkey an ass this is wild garlic in fact the americans do not use the word ass to describe a donkey but this is only because they have not mastered the english language and particularly spelling to me american donkey is just a euphemism what i meant was that you would be a fool not to eat this wonderful herb i said it crudely because i like crude it is very different from rude but i don t like crudities i prefer to dunk soft white bread into my soup consider this to be my soup there are some very beautiful and expressive words in the english language and you would have to be an american donkey to diminish them you don t always have to use them then here is another one and another and another and another this is getting weird something has walked along this track and systematically and selectively dug up and ate every arum lily that it could find i saw more than thirty of these holes and photographed them what on earth does this if you know me then you might think colin would know the answer but colin does not know the answer stop it i can see your beauty i choose my stuff carefully i am not a fool and i love you i am trying to concentrate something is eating our flowers we need to put our tracker hats on badgers are obviously in the frame but something doesn t ring true the other animal that would do this is wild boar and i know that they are also here these prints are partial the ground has been quite hard a boar has dew claws that leave an impression behind the hooves and i can t see them but they could be boar or sheep or deer i don t know it is all a bit weird so i don t know what to say about all of this except let me take you by the hand and lead you through a place that doesn t have any streets i will show you something that will make you change your mind i wrote this through the night and it is now friday yesterday we had a general election in the uk i have no idea who won good people never win niceness isn t a winning trait and i already know that the worst man in the country is now our president that is the failing of democracy let them come into the jungle and we will see who wins i haven t told you about this but i once lived for a year with a member of parliament it s okay my wife knew about it he was a decent man and a friend who helped me out of a jam but i could tell you some stories and they would include naked mps another day perhaps but probably not one more deep breath and then i will go and see who is now my glorious leader get out of the mud the leader is coming share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest like loading arum maculatum canis lupus too bloomin familiaris country ways death dog s mercury herb robert love orange tip butterfly philosophy wild garlic days out tramp s bestiary an unexpected change of plan may 5 2015 fodrambler 38 comments at two thirty this afternoon haircut was outside of my kitchen window she was trying to express in doggie language that contrary to my expectations three hours at the beauty parlour had not made her day complete this is what she said what are you gonna do i will take you out but you must promise to stay well away from the mud it takes three hours at the parlour because the first hour is spent telling margaret what a terrible owner she is for getting her dog in such a state and then giving her training in the proper way to care for her pet it is not margaret s fault it is not even my fault but obviously i don t want to upset margaret later in the day no muddy puddles okay this dog smells really sweet it must be the shampoo that they use and she has got the cleanest feet that i have ever seen how can it be my fault it is not like i invented mud it is just there anyway i thought that you might like to see the new fizz she isn t very much different from the old fizz i kept her as clean as i could she has been through a tough ordeal today and i guess that when it was over she just needed to get back to nature nature can fix anything nature and a little bit of love share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest like loading canis lupus familiaris tramp s herbal wild flowers there s no sun up in the sky may 5 2015 fodrambler 26 comments we are being battered this morning the wind is bashing things about the old farm sheds have a lot of loose corrugated iron and the wind can always find it and bang it about rain is crashing noisily against the glass in my windows margaret has just rung me she is fizz s owner and she said i want to keep fizz in this morning she is going to the beauty parlour today and she went on i left it as long as i could because i thought it was still a bit cold but i can t leave it any longer why what s wrong with fizz well in my experience women have a finer eye for this sort of detail than men do and anyway it is not very nice out i may not even walk her today and if i do i won t take my camera it is not because of the bad weather but i always feel guilty waiting for her to come back from the beauty parlour it must cost a few bob and they go to all this trouble to get a lovely clean tidy dog and the moment she gets home we go out and roll in mud i might let them enjoy their clean dog for one day i walk fizz more to give her the stimulation and interest than to exercise her she could run around on her hamster wheel if she needed exercise i expect that she will find three hours at the bp stimulating enough for today so what to do i am going to talk about bluebells we will be going to see them soon when i was out finding new speedwells i noticed a few other flowers about there was a lot of bugle but this is really such a nice flower that it deserves a post of it s own when the weather is better the other thing that i saw a lot of was the enemy this is not a bluebell well it is not a hy...