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description=Baggage And Bug Single Mom Adoption from Foster Care The results February 1st, 2007 The majority of my test results are in. Nothing is wrong with me. I;

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Text of the page (random words):
ous sense of relief that dr gel said i could get knocked up i guess my point is every single time i have ever tried to get help for an issue in my life in the past 10 years as soon as they hear i am an abuse survivor they pin everything on that extremely short temper well you are harboring anger from your abuse can t concentrate it s the depression tendency to bounce around from thing to thing without finishing it oh well maybe you are bipolar low self esteem feeling that you are underachieving in your life well duh you are an abuse survivor you are expected to have low self esteem and it never really feltâ right to me in fact i had some therapist who refused to talk about anything other than my abuse even though sometimes i wanted to talk about my marriage or sometimes i wanted to talk about my relationship with bug so when dr lunch told me that i was probably feeling this way because i have depression and anxiety and maybe the wellbutrin wasn t working and maybeâ i needed to try paxil i got a little pissed because i know what depressed is i know what anxious is and i wasn t really either of those things i was depressed because i felt horrible i was depressed because i didn t get picked for the kids but hey that is normal it was just a bit of sadness when i really took an honest look at what effects the ads have had on me i would say that they helped but they never fixed they took the edge off but they never dealt with 70 of my issues i thought i would just have to be like that forever i thought i would be mostly unhappy forever and when i really trace back this current downward trend i ve been in i can almost pinpoint it right at the time i graduated from college lost the structure of my classes lost the security of my gi bill and was suddenly my own boss and responsible for my own income i ve walked around for the past month or so feeling like i am stupid and lazy and i m not anyway i m waiting to hear from the doctor as to what the next step is of course the va doesn t really specialize in adults with add so there is already an issue with medication and the like i m working on it but i am optimistic for the first time in my life i ve seen a list of almost everything that is bad about me and somebody has said hey we can help you fix this it is not your fault this can be fixed that is very powerful technorati tags test results add adhd depression anxiety therapy â posted in uncategorized depression anxiety like greys only suckier dealing with the past add 8 comments protected kids and options the novel february 1st 2007 this post is password protected to view it please enter your password below password posted in uncategorized password protected enter your password to view comments thursday thirteen february 1st 2007 thirteen things that make me cry 1 headaches 2 onions 3 feeling alone 4 feeling overtired 5 rejection 6 infertility 7 bills 8 missing my family 9 low blog stats 10 when galinda and elphaba sing for good in wicked 11 grey s anatomy 12 the last cub s game of the season 13 when i wonder if bug will turn out ok get the thursday thirteen code here the purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every thursday visiting fellow thirteeners is encouraged if you participate leave the link to your thirteen in others comments itâ s easy and fun be sure to update your thirteen with links that are left for you as well i will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things trackbacks pings comment links accepted view more thursday thirteen participants â posted in uncategorized thursday thirteen 26 comments strike two january 31st 2007 didn t get picked for sibling group of three posted in uncategorized adding to the family 10 comments two hour wait january 30th 2007 when you watch a fish tank for two hours you notice a lot of strange things like the scum sucker fish he was being followed by this big orange fish for the better part of two hours also the vet who sat next to me insisted that ashley judd was married to tom cruise that has nothing to do with the fish tank though the va kept me waiting for two hours apparently sheâ went to lunch and moved her morning patients to the afternoon but nobody bothered toâ tell me so i just sat and watched the scum sucker at least the doctorâ actually did something i had to get get seven vials of blood drawn fun when you are terrified of needles a urinalysis and i have toâ put my poop on a card and mail it in how gross is that sorry hope you weren t eating she s testingâ my white blood count â my thyroid â checking forâ diabetes andâ hepatatis plus my b12 and folic acid andâ testing my you know to see if maybeâ i have colon cancer because apparently that makes you tired â plus some other things i think she should have most of the results in tomorrow i have some more to write about including my behavior program for bug we designed at class last night you know the one that bug has already shown that she doesn t give a damn about but i am too depressed right now oh and i have notified the school as to what happened but frankly the check is not obviously forged at all with the exception of my name missing a letter the rest of the check is perfectly filled out darn bug did i mention i found half of a shriveled up lime in her bed technorati tags fatigue behavior posted in uncategorized parenting depression like greys only suckier 7 comments check 2421 january 29th 2007 the foster kids that i was going to get a couple weeks ago had a possibility of coming here today i m guessing that there is probably still a chance but as it gets later i figure less and less of a chance being a foster parent can be tough because you have to walk a fine line between wanting children in your home and knowing what happens to get them here of course i would be thrilled to have those kids here but if they come then that means that they have entered into the system and who knows when they will come out so i ve been sitting here all day watching the clock wanting them to come but not wanting them too at the same time meanwhile i was planning to write a post about how bug made her first ever basket in her game this saturday and how she has a cold and gave it to me and how proud i am of her for being so interested in helping out st jude s before i did that however i wanted to take a quick look at my bank account to see what checks had cleared and whether my deposits had posted check 2405 had and so had 2406 not 2407 but 2408 had and 2421 i flipped through my checkbook why would i have written 2421 if the next check was 2409 luckily my bank puts a scan of every check on the internet so i could pull it up 2421 to bug s school and then i look my first name is missing one letter my last name started with a capital cursive letter except i never write the first letter of my last name in cursive i always write it in print and the rest of my name in cursive and those numbers 20 00 looks very similar to someone else s handwriting a certain 10 year old bug had taken a check out of my checkbook written a 20 dollar check to her school and forged my signature the school had taken it and cashed it why i mean i had just sent in a check for lunch money a few days before because my check only covers the basic lunch and breakfast and bug wanted to buy extra drinks and extra food and extra dessert i haven t had to talk about bug taking food without permission for awhile now she s gotten much better everytime we go shopping she picks out a selection of fruit that she is allowed to eat whenever she wants without asking she gets three meals a day â a snack after school usually dessert at night plus unlimited fruit but she can t take things without asking like the three packages of cookies she ate on wednesday she takes them into the toilet with her into the shower now i can see where someone would think that this was just a case of bug not understanding that checks real money but bug understands that she also understands why it is not ok to forge checks in fact she will be the first to tell you that her mother went to prison for forging checks it is all just disappointing she takes 5 steps forward and 4 steps back 5 forward 4 back if she hasn t been food deprived she has unlimited fruit and drinks plus three meals and two snacks a day then i don t understand why she is still having so many food issues i guess it s time to make another appointment with the therapist oh speaking of i m takingâ someone s suggestion amanda and am trying to get on lexapro i m still having extreme amounts of exhaustion still don t know if it is physical depression both i ve got an appointment tomorrow to talk to a doctor where i am going to try to get my blood tested as well as my thyroid i have a lot of symptoms that could be attributed to my thryoid but of course they could be other things as well i m not sure what is wrong with me but i m still working to try to figure it out technorati tags foster care parenting behavior â â â posted in uncategorized parenting foster care depression anxiety like greys only suckier 14 comments st jude by bug uncensored unedited january 27th 2007 hi this is bug my school is colleting money for st jude childrens research hospital st jude is a a hospital that kids go to if they have cancer or anything else the doctors study these sickness and try to find a way to prevent it st jude has made a big improvement 3 years ago 4 kids made it but that did not stop the doctors they soon studie really hard now 90 make it so i was wondering if you can donate some money and help me raise money how i am raising money is by a mathathon i do math problems and if i get 1 right you can give me money or just make a donation if i raise the most money in 5th grade i get to go to st jude hospitle to help bring the money and get 1 day off of school to visit st jude when i get the day off school i get to help them research and visit some of the kids so i wondering if you could please make some donations by bug baggage here bug will be given approximately 250 math problems you can sponsor her by pledging to give a monetary amount per math problem for instance you could donate 5 cents per math problem she completes you could also give a flat donation if you prefer the money is tax deductible if you are interested in sponsoring bug please leave a comment with your name and pledge amount or you can email it to me at email protected if you prefer although you do not have to give your real name just make it school aged appropriate if you give a fake name i will let you know how many problems bug does in a future post the easiest way to make a donation is to send me the money via paypal or moneybookersâ and i will write one check for the full amount of donations if you don t have paypal we can work something out so you could send me a check or money order but paypal would be easiest so to summarize you can help out bug and st jude children s research hospital by either 1 sponsoring her by giving a donation per math problem out of 250 that she completes or 2 giving a flat donation by sending the money amount to my paypal address which i will provide you or via check or money order if we have to either way send me an email or post a comment here if you are interested thank you very much about st jude since its inception st jude has developed protocols that have brought survival rates for childhood cancers from less than 20 percent to more than 70 percent overall since opening in 1962 st jude has treated children from all 50 states and more than 70 foreign countries st jude researchers and doctors are treating children with genetic immune defects and pediatric aids as well as using new drugs and therapies to fight infection st jude has approximately 4 700 patients in active status st jude which is non sectarian treats children without regard to race religion creed or ability to pay st jude is the only pediatric cancer research center where families never pay for treatments that are not covered by insurance and families without insurance are never asked to pay to learn more about st jude please visit www stjude org technorati tags st jude mathahon fundraiser posted in uncategorized 5th grade when you help others you can t help helping yourself 10 comments thanks grey s and reality tv january 26th 2007 first off thank you all for the movie suggestions if you haven t chimed in please do so see post below i know there are more of you out there that have some great suggestions so help me pretty please i went to geo s last night so i could watch grey s well that and so he could fix my van hello new water pump i have two blogs that i have had for awhile and am really slacking on so i thought i d talk about that today first is my grey s blog i have a post up today so please come chime in with your thoughts on last night s episode the second is my reality tv blog both of these blogs are hosted on orble which is a blogging network basically how it works is that ads are displayed on your site 50 of the time the ads are credited to you and 50 to orble the reason i m talking about this is because i am opening up my reality tv blog to other authors obviously with my tv deprived state i can t watch a lot of the shows that are out there plus there are about a million shows so if you go to the blog you ll see a link that says apply to write for this blog i think you have to be an orble member first so sign up for orble register your adsense id you ll need one so get one if you don t have one already then click on the little apply thing fill out the form i ll approve you as a writer tell me that you are a reader here so i can tell who i am dealing with then you will be added to the writing team and you can write about whatever reality tv show you want all the ones on cable too and if you are out of the us then that is great too you ll make a post it will go to me to approve and i will approve it as long as you don t write something like baggage sucks and then your post will come up so why the heck would you want to do that well you get 50 of the advertising dollars on the posts you make it will go right into your already established adsense account if you have adsense on your blog so it will help you hit that elusive 100 dollar mark quicker if you don t have a blog already here s a chance to jump in and write without having worry about setting everything up and hey it will be fun i m hoping to have people writing about all the reality shows there are out there that s all for now technorati tags reality tv orble grey s anatomy blogs â posted in uncategorized tv blog o riffic no comments follow up to thursday thirteen and movie advice january 25th 2007 bug can i do your thursday thirteen this week mommy me no i already did bug darn i had a really good one too me oh yeah what bug the thirteen original colonies here are the songs that contain my favorite lyrics 1 stupid boy by keith urban 2 there s a fine f...