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have learned from weeding my garden so we rented this house in portsmouth with a really beautiful yard it is almost park like and there are gorgeous flowers everywhere i do not have a green thumb it is really a challenge for me to keep any kind of plant life alive but i am determined to do this i have to it s in the lease i m pretty motivated and a little obsessed so i think that i will be able to figure out how to keep this garden happy when we first moved in the flower beds had been freshly mulched there were no weeds and the mulch had not been pressed down by rain yet everything was fresh and new and perfect now having been here for more than a month it s not so perfect anymore the mulch has settled in and the weeds are trying to take over i did a round of weeding at the two week mark but now they are back with a vengeance so the other day david and i went out to tackle the green thorny terrorist our home sits right on a main road and even though we don t use this entrance for everyday comings and goings we are still responsible for the upkeep so there i was out there in the front of the house pulling weeds by the curbside and along the fence beside the sidewalk on the main road the main road groan i hated every minute of it there really is no flattering way to bend over and pull out a stubborn weed root i am not very fond of my backside i am even less fond of introducing myself to my new community by displaying my backside bent over along the curb on the main road as i was pondering how much i would rather be doing this in private in seclusion incognito in the dark of midnight or in any other way than out in plain sight for the amusement of all 2 1 million drivers that were on that road that day i thought of how much this applies to life sometimes we just have to weed in public sometimes the weeds in our lives are just out there for everyone to see sometimes god s way in dealing with us is very very public sometimes there is just no other way there are so many imperfections that i would like to hide from the world sometimes things are just not alright in my world and i would rather push them down deep and deal with them in secret then to have my struggle made public and my shortcomings on display i don t want people seeing that my kids don t always embrace what we have taught them and often times do the exact opposite of what we pray for i don t want them seeing that my home is sometimes filled with the thorny vines of bickering and strife i don t want them seeing the prickly leaves of my lack of faith in troubling times i don t want them seeing the weeds that have resulted from my bad decisions the monster weed at the root of all of this is pride i don t want people seeing these imperfections because i don t want to seem like an emotionally unstable out of control needy selfish willful person who can t seem to keep her house in order i m too proud but another thing occurred to me as i was weeding my curbside garden out in plain daylight what if some of these people aren t snickering at my backside up in the air what if some of them are thinking hmmm i really need to weed my garden what if people saw me working and thought hey i ve got weeds too what if my work inspired them to think about their own garden and what needed to be done there what if it isn t about me and how i appeared to others at all but more about my very public work inspiring others to recognize the work that needed to be done in their own gardens throughout the years there have been people in my life who have had very public struggles their gardens were being weeded on the curbside on very busy streets i remember one woman sharing a little bit with us in a woman s bible study she was going through some trying times with her son and it was breaking her family apart my children were very young at the time and while i could not relate to her struggles but i was so very thankful that she was brave enough to share them with us as a group we were able to come along side her and pray for her i learned the valuable lesson that sometimes we are put in circumstances that seem impossible to overcome sometimes our faith is shaken to the core sometimes the imperfections in our lives are ugly and public and we can t hide them but god intends for us to bear one another s burdens and to share our struggles and triumphs with others we shouldn t let the sin of pride keep us from being real with people i often think back on that moment when this woman shared her not so flattering side with us and i am so thankful for her example god used her struggle to encourage me so many years later when my kids entered the world of teen rebellion i didn t feel alone i knew that i wasn t the only mom who had been touched by this kind of pain i knew that god would use me and my story to help other moms if i would only be brave enough to share i saw a photo of this woman s son on facebook the other day he has a teenage son of his own now and is doing very well god drew him back to himself and worked in the life of that family if we hadn t been aware of the struggle we wouldn t have been able to rejoice in the victory it is my hope that as i share my fresh fruit with you the pretty flowers of my life the colorful bouquets and the healthy shrubs that you know of the weeds that loom as well as long as we walk this earth they will always be there it is important that you know about them and their choking vines and how much work it took to pull them out at the root you must know about them in order to truly appreciate the magnificence of the flowers that bloom for no flower is more beautiful than the one that is gained through struggle and strife the one paid for with tears pain obedience selflessness forgiveness grace mercy and ultimately a thorn pricked brow posted by becca at 2 54 pm no comments tuesday august 12 2014 do overs i just love it when god brings me back to a place that i never thought i would be again it s like life s little do overs there are so many levels of emotions that i feel when something like that happens right now i am experiencing this on three levels first i m feeling the want to to pick up this blog again as i have spoken of before there are seasons of life that just cant be put into words as they are happening some things are better left to rest until the come to their own conclusions before the story can be told the last four years of my life seemed to consist of one event after another that just needed to sit within my heart until healing and understanding could bring about the right words to share to all you moms of teenagers out there i know you feel me let me just say that it gets better it really does my second do over is that we are back in rhode island we lived here 7 years ago and this is the place where my blog began my first post were of our life here and how much we loved it despite the fact that we fought tooth and nail to stay in maryland coming back here after 7 years has been wonderful there were so many things in maryland that brought a level of comfort to me that level of comfort in a new duty station is not something we military families are used to it was a blessing to live near my mom and my maryland family it was great to walk into the salon where my mom works and be among friends it was incredible to live in the neighborhood i grew up in i did meet lots of great new people too but most of those people i met after i had already been there for quite some time and my life there had already become routine i had my bearings and i didn t feel like the new girl who desperately needed to belong those friendships were formed with a sense of ease not in a please be my friend so i don t become a hermit kind of way i was so blessed with a strong client base and met so many people in maryland that i hope to keep in touch with i have no idea why god moved us here when we were so comfortable perhaps it was to stretch my world a little bit more the level of comfort i was experiencing isn t always good for a person like me most think that i am very outgoing but in reality it is hard for me to put myself out there it is scary to be the new person in groups that are already well established it is scary to find out if and where you fit in it is scary to be in new unfamiliar situations at least it is for me so now i m back to reaching out again i m brushing up on all those skills that i was able to let lay dormant in maryland it s a good thing rhode island has so many good qualities i had forgotten how very beautiful and vibrant this place is whenever anyone asked me what my favorite duty station has been so far i always included rhode island in my top 3 because of it s beauty last time we were here it was only for one year i broke my ankle 9 months into that year and which kept me home and healing for our last few months here i was always so bummed that we did not get to explore everything we wanted to because of that unexpected injury now we are back for almost 4 years and i ve got a list a mile long of all the places i want to go and see and everything we want to explore boston mystic martha s vineyard nantucket cape cod points of interest in new hampshire vermont and maine providence jamestown block island and newport are all on the list summers here are alive and filled with so many activities in the community there is something different to do every day of the week just walking around in downtown newport on a summer evening is so enjoyable for me the restaurants the history the people bustling about the harbor the sailboats and yachts the cliff walk the beach the ocean the clams the boutiques the music from local bands the landscaping the cobblestone i was made for this place as great as the summers are i m a girl who loves fall and the autumn season here is just breathtaking new englanders are incredibly friendly every single day when i am out in town someone starts up a friendly conversation with me the locals are extremely helpful and genuine i m just so excited and thankful for this do over there is another do over that i am also thankful for we are so so blessed that our son zachary and his precious little family followed us here to rhode island they live in the sweet little town of bristol about 5 miles from us they are thriving here zach has a great job and is able to support his family enough that jenna is able to follow her dreams and go to school full time to work toward her career in the medical field starting today landon will be with me for a few hours 4 days a week we are working on baby proofing the house and i ve been on pinterest looking for fun activities to do with 1 year olds i am going to have so much fun with him i plan to make the most of this special little do over that i have with him i loved being a stay at home mom and building into my children as much as i could i enjoyed coming up with creative things we could do i loved reading them nap time stories and taking them to the park we were definitely on the go most days and we let no grass grow under our feet how blessed am i to be able to revisit some of the joy of pre schoolers again i m not as young and energetic as i was when i packed up three little kids and ran all over town every day but i am gonna do my best to keep up with this little guy posted by becca at 1 15 pm 2 comments tuesday december 4 2012 our story once upon a time there was a girl and a boy the boy loved the girl and the girl loved him back they spent lots of time together and grew very close after dating for almost a year the girl and the boy found out that they were going to have a baby the boy was scared and so was the girl fear drove them apart and the girl and the boy went in different directions the girl moved to maryland and the boy stayed in florida and tried to forget her by the time the leaves changed in the fall of 1991 the girl had a beautiful baby boy she named him zachary and he was her world the girl worked very hard to make a life for her baby boy she rocked him to sleep at night sung songs to him giggled and laughed with him and marveled at how amazing he was but she never forgot the boy she left in florida he never forgot her either and he was working very hard to change and grow and prepare to win back the heart of the girl and be a father and a husband through the miracle of god s perfect timing the boy and the girl were drawn back together the boy had joined the navy and was stationed in connecticutt he drove to see the girl and the baby boy every weekend for many many months by the end of the summer of 1992 the boy and the girl were married and they began a new life in connecticutt the girl and the boy and their little boy were very happy the girl and the boy learned alot about eachother and about how to be parents the girl and the boy didn t always do it perfectly but they loved eachother and their little boy very much they tried hard to make the right choices and to do the best things for their little family they girl and the boy didn t have very much and lived a life full of sacrifices but their home was filled with love the girl and the boy loved being parents and their little boy was everything to them soon the girl and the boy had another baby they named him michael isaac and he was very loved the two little boys were best friends and they did everything together soon god gave the girl and the boy another baby a little girl named madison she was their first princess and their family grew to five the boy and the girl and could hardly believe that god had brought such beauty out of very humble and uncertain beginnings from great struggle god had brought amazing success the boy was promoted in the navy many times over the years the family of five lived all over america and were able to do and see so many wonderful things and meet so many great people the boy and the girl knew it was because they had trusted in god and had longed to raise a family that loved him they were very blessed seven years after their last baby god sent another little girl they named her brendell faith and she completed their family the family was now six once again the boy and the girl were amazed by how far god had brought them over the years they knew how uncommon it was for two people coming from such opposite backgrounds and starting a family as young as they did to not only stay together through all of the hard things life throws at couples and families on a daily basis but also to thrive to them it was supernatural and was only because of the grace of god that their little family existed as an imperfect challenging heart warmingly beautiful unit god likes to take the weak things of this world the troublesome situations the under dogs the ones society labels as unworthy or challenged the ones with little or no means to make it alone the ones who don t know real love the ones who are looking in all the wrong places to have their needs met the ones who are spiritually emotionally and physically ...