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falls of my youth are gone the snow melts and freezes days of melting snow and dangerous ice i remember walking in the pasture in the woods now filled with disgusting mansions and roadways we can t walk on the logging roads there are none i can t imagine what through are going through the selfish developers heads when they cut and saw tear down the forest so disgusting if i could only make these people go away go back north or south just go and put our forest back like a god made them my grandkids will be lucky to climb a mountain in the snow maybe they can find enough for a snow fort selfish greedy people with your mansions i didn t realize until my own family fell in this trap that i was the last generation that would enjoy the winter forest it spring flowers unless we went miles away somehow on slick roads i wish we could make a law to stop development to stop those blind to the beauty of the woods that i could scrap their horrible mansions and road away and put holly trees back and spring flowers and fall mushrooms and mast crops can i at least wish that the selfish developers and desperate farm owners who no longer farm can find a way to keep the land and stop destroying it comments 5 an autumn day in the mountains october 23 2017 filed under autumn changes fall gardens grief nature seasons uncategorized tagged seasons i wake to the sound of the wind as it whirls through the rainbow of trees i feel the leaves falling around me floating on the stiff breeze the last of my flowers still standing defying the first light frost black eyed susan waving goodbye to their season soon to be lost the walnuts clutter beneath the trees the animas rushing to store the unusual bounty of mast crops for winter is coming once more as much as i used to love autumn now i feel only grief as i wait and cry with a shiver for spring to bring some relief comments 5 summers goodbye august 9 2017 filed under autumn comfort embers flowers of autumn gardening joys nature seasons uncategorized woods lightning rolls across the darkening sky thunder follows an echo in the night the flowers are still blooming bright and tall leaves begin to have touches of gold and crimson remember the walk wetook into the forest a waterfall drumming over rocky cliffs i think of that place as i walk and imagine the forest and falls in the full burst of autumn i watch the flowers in the lightnings flash and listen to the wind coming from the north how much longer till that first killing frost some years it comes early and sadly wilts the leaves others see rhododendron blooming in november summers end in the mountains is always a surprise tomortow i will gather the pumpkins by the creek collect a vase of autumn flowers for the table listen to the first leaves crunch underfoot as i walk part of me longs for a late autumn days of warmth and sun yet there is something in the breeze welcoming cool nights perhaps a fire within a circle of stones as we sit and talk remembering the days we spent in the hot summer sun again tonight lightning streaks across the darkness above us the thunder and first spatters of rain send us running inside i want to cling to summer just a bit longer enjoy the rustling leaves watch asters bloom and bees gather nectar summers goodbye wait a while as a etch photos of your warmth and growing into my mind to dream of in the cooler days ahead comments 6 mama vs beebee grandma june 20 2017 filed under fixing nature acceptance challenges changes childhood determination grandparents joys loneliness love as it matures nature nature studies sharing stories for youth uncategorized today i walked thru the bird sanctuary at a lake near by i relearned a few lessons that to be honest i had sort of forgotten it saddened me hurt me it made me feel like i didn t matter anymore i had six kids one lost at 15 the stress almost killing me too i walked along i would smile at couples walking by see a woman apparently alone then see her kid run up sadness would creep in i fed bread to the fish and turtles like i used to with my children and a few times with my grandchildren i felt profoundly alone as i walked along an hour before i had walked around my neighborhood with three grandsons two age 7 one age 4 along with my youngest son who is in college as of october i will have 11 grandkids though i enjoyed it i was disappointed at the lack of discipline especially after 7 year old no 2 joined us and there was more cutting up going on the other two were brothers i tried to show them how to hunt snail shells i would tell them that they were called mollusks i would name the flowers if they were annuals biannuals or perennials that some were irises that grew from rootstock a hundred years old i got an audible wow from that we saw butterflies and i asked who knew what kind it was swallowtails easily recognizable we looked at the creek bank and talked about the flood that collapsed on side of it and had to be shored up with rocks we talked about how the rich people scraping off the plants that held the water in the ground was responsible for the flood but those of us down valley had to financially and physically clean up the mess the mansion makers made and how wrong that was if you are thinking that was too advanced to be teaching seven year olds i beg to differ i started having my own version of home school when my kids were two years old they knew their alphabet and numbers 1 20 by the end of their 3rd year and were reading simple books by the end of their fourth year it is a matter of discipline on the part of parent and child but with my kids its just what we did period when they learned one thing we moved on to the next step having consistency is the key to education that was my problem today there is no set time or way to learn at home all of my kids went to public school i taught the youngest at home full time in k 1 we had an hour to an hour and 1 2 or more of home school depending on if it was outdoors or such i had very little problems with discipline some of my kids wdr e not easy ask their public school teachers they knew we were doing school on saturday holidays summer etc before anything else it wasn t a question or discussion i may hear you saying and they hated it no they didn t they got it done early knew more about any subject than their friends and never complained a lot about doing it my kids were not close in age so i would have my 9th grader learning world capitols while the 5th grader learned state capitols lakes and rivers and the younger one learned to read or memorize math tables at some times i had four at a time and worked with varied topics we only spent abut 20 minutes on each subject we did lots of art nature walks and studies all seasons too in fall we studied mushrooms and watched the mating of spiders and mantises we had followed since spring we watch plants emerge in spring develop color for their rest time in fall we studied weather as it happened these are examples besides not having any grandswith me especially not having my kids when they were young it was hard i could have probably taken one of the 7 year old but i didn t i wish i could tell my kids not to delay teaching until a certain age i do tell them about using teaching moments when you went to the store and were unpacking groceries you could talk shapes and colors with young ones then maybe names of vegetables or other foods for preschoolers the story goes on as they grow i have worked with kindergarten children who didn t know their colors first graders still struggling with the sound of letters unable to read a very simple book if you work outside the home it is hard you may have to work for shorter time periods but it is still possible when my grandkid complained i asked them do your parents go to work every day so you can eat have a roof over your head of course they all nodded yes i said do you think they just woke up one morning and knew how to do their job answer in unison noooo so they learned all of their lives right heads shaking yes i asked the 7 year olds if they could read and they said yes i asked the 4 year old and he smiled and said i m learnin i pointed out that the seven year olds had learned thing between the time the were 4 and 7 they got it the last thing i told them to day was an old indian proverb you cannot learn with your mouth opened i asked them what that meant and after some delay i covered my mouth and said we learn by listening not talking i told them there is a time to ask questions and a time to listen do you understand they all smiled and said yes then i let them choose what to have for lunch i told them i loved them and hoped that they would grow up learning everything good that they could so they could take care of them selves and their families they smiled ate their crazy lunch choices had extra glasses of tea after all it is grandma s house or as they call me beebee my husband took two of them home and the other walked home after hugs smiles and them saying we love you beebee i feel better about my walk alone now realizing that it is simply life which has moved me from mom to beebee still it hurts that i can not teach them like i did my kids because they didn t start at two with a strict schedulde i will continue to teach my grands as i can i find myself learning from my own kids now it is nice to know that they have learned that learning is a life long adventure i am trying to think of things that will grab their attention and to express my pride it what they have accomplished yesterday 7 years old 2 showed me some barrels of standing water with creatures swimming in it he knew they weren t tadpoles what is it beebee he asked it was mosquito larva we poured the water out and i told him how proud of him i was and that he had saved us from a lot of mosquito bites today he got to brag to his cousins bout what he did just thinking of that lesson one that my grandchild learned long ago had been used to help his family cheered me up being a mom and making my own rules my suit mr better but there is a lot to be said for capturing those moments with my grandkids they have learned from me and i also learn from them maybe it isn t so different after all comments 8 blackberry summer april 28 2017 filed under acceptance after life challenges changes compassion coping death determination farms grief hardship heartbreak honor integrity loss love respect sad goodbye strenght uncategorized writing youth tagged inspiration relationships kenny was just five years old his brother jack was 8 most of kenny s life had been spent on tenant farms in upper south carolina it was a hard life momma had been sick most of his life with something called pellegra it made her act funny and her skin break out in summer her name was mattie and her family lived a good distance away she had gone to the hospital in spartanburg this time because she was so sick kenny missed his mamma but he was beginning to have a hard time even remembering what her voice sounded like or the touch of her lips as they puckered and kissed him good night they had lived in a different house every year of his life which ever farm owner would offer papa the best deal for working his crops papa would load up their sparse possessions and move his little family a few miles down the road the house they lived in now kenny and jack had nicknamed the smoky house because the flue in the fireplace didn t work right and the house always had a smoky odor and in the dead of winter there was almost a blur to the air from the smoke it was warm though so they didn t complain on one occasion kenny remembered he and jack playing with corncobs out in the yard pretending they were cars mama had been sitting on the porch with her two sisters bettie and jettie and they laughed at the boys as they played the sound of her laughter was all he really had now when papa took the boys to town on rare occasions they hitched a ride because papa didn t have a car the boys loved the bumping and puttering of the car as they drove the ten or fifteen miles to where the big supply store was they were amazed at the electric lights inside the shops and the fancy furniture in the two story houses on main street sometimes jack and kenny were invited in to a lady s house for cookies and milk while papa was at the farm supply store kenny had been squirming for ten minutes at the table with the red checked table cloth jack finally looked at the lady who had told them to call her mrs salter and said m am i hate to bother you but i think my little brother needs to use yer um facilities mrs salter smiled and led kenny by the hand to a room by the bedrooms that had an indoor toilet and a sink inside kenny s eyes lit up indoor plumbing he d seen it before but never used it he turned to see that mrs salter had cracked the door and stepped away at first kenny just ran his hands over the smooth white porcelain on the sink his green eyes wide and his mouth agape he turned to the toilet filled with water and proceeded to relieve himself remembered that the handle had to be pushed down for the contraption to run clean water in it soon kenny was back at the table where jack was finishing up his last sip of milk i bet you boys know where some ripe blackberries are growing smiled mrs salter yes m grinned jack we sure do well you two look like good workers mrs salter said with her hands propped on her thin waist i ll tell you what if you bring me a gallon of the best ones you can find tomorrow i will pay you a quarter for them the boys faces light up with a smile yes m mrs salter jack called out we will have them here by lunch time the best you ve ever seen the boys thanked mrs salter for the cookies and milk and headed for the door they saw papa coming out of the supply store and hurried to him kenny turned to jack and whispered she s got one of them indoor toilets jack had time only for a look of surprise before they met up with papa papa papa kenny called out mrs salter said if we d pick her a gallon of blackberries tomorrow she would give us a quarter papa chuckled and said well thats right good wages boys those lowlanders don t much like to work when they come up here in the summer do they no sir kenny replied and she s got an indoor toilet now how do you know about that young man papa looked sternly at his younger son jack came to the rescue and told papa that he had very politely told mrs salter that kenny needed to use the facilities when she had offered them a snack well i guess you two have got yourselves a job papa laughed as they walked back down the dusty gravel road toward their driveway and they surely did mrs salter and her sister had cometo the thermal belt as papa called the area between the sweltering heat of the lowlands and the cool foggy mountains to the north for relief from the heat q for weeks the boys went out in their oldest clothes and gathered blackberries for the ladies one time papa s sister had come down to stay a whil...