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denton sanatorium home about me favorite posts projects gifted education mormon faq saturday may 30 2020 being black in america i don t know what it s like to be black in america i know what it s like to watch your child thrown into a police car and detained unfairly as spectators duck their heads and refuse to refute the police but i don t know what it s like to be black in america i know what it s like to tell the police the truth and have them not believe you but i don t know what it s like to be black in america i know what it s like to read police reports and watch body cam footage and hear the police fudge the truth to fit their narrative for arrest but i don t know what it s like to be black in america i know what it s like to reach out to the press to get the truth of your story to the public have the public rally for a day or two in support and then have it all disappear when daily life becomes much more pressing because it s really none of my business but i don t know what it s like to be black in america i know what it s like to have police officers sent to your house to interrogate your child for an alleged comment made by someone with no substantiated evidence and wonder if your child would be arrested again for an unsubstantiated claim while you were across the ocean and powerless to help but i don t know what it s like to be black in america i know what it feels like to be helpless not having the law or common sense or power behind you when the law and common sense and those in power should be behind you but i don t know what it s like to be black in america maybe this is why i feel so outraged by aubery cooper and floyd i too have lost my idealized vision of police officers always having the public good and justice as their primary mission but the bottom line is i don t know what it s like to be black in america i don t know what it s like to face this discrimination and violence and injustice every day because of the color of my skin in my own home walking down my own street shopping at my local market and i certainly don t know what it s like to lose your life over a counterfeit 20 or over taking a jog in your neighborhood i want to lend my voice and my support and my outrage to this cause but i don t know how tears rage social media it is too little but i will not stand silently by at 9 30 pm no comments thursday may 7 2020 quarantine snapshots it s funny how everything seemed novel and exciting at the beginning of quarantine and now it s all become routine and less photo and blog worthy social distance swimming i know that life will return to normal and i ll forget these moments one day now they all seem too real and i m frankly sick of most of it these little ones love to check the eggs and visit the chickens caroline isn t even two and she will pick up that white chicken gladys like she owns the place annie s favorite part is collecting eggs look at that girl she s growing up fast there is nothing cuter than a little toddler girl with her first pigtails these lasted approximately 2 5 seconds after the picture was taken at 9 31 am no comments thursday april 23 2020 my love hate relationship with quarantine is it possible to both love and hate quarantine i miss being alone i crave alone time as a flower craves sunlight and water i need time to refuel and think and plan and recuperate but i love being with my family all the time i love uninterrupted family dinners and family movie nights and family bike rides and family work projects i miss schedule i miss being accountable to obligations that relieve some of the pressure on me to get things done but i love having less to do less kid homework fewer kid activities no church obligations school year weekdays that can be movie nights i miss the kids school i miss teachers that direct their learning and grade their work and know where they should be in each subject but i love less accountability i like watching john green s crash course for history class or mark rober for physics or ted talks for english i like forcing my kids to read books i think they should read then talking about them and i love morning scriptures in pjs and with no stress to get moving someone said recently quarantine isn t hard quarantine is inconvenient if what they meant was that i don t have anyone dying or losing their job or suffering too badly from the closed economy then yes that s inconvenient if what they meant was that i can t find powdered sugar for the four birthdays i have this month or find the right brand of toilet paper or sit down at a restaurant and movie for date night then yes that s inconvenient but if what they meant was that this isn t hard on families being together 24 hours a day every day for weeks on end then no that s hard if they meant that it isn t hard for kids to miss milestones weddings graduations summer sports camps even daily interaction with their friends then no that s hard if they meant that it isn t hard to be solely responsible for your kids education without any firm direction from the school or curriculum to follow but they still have to log on daily and learn then no that s hard if they meant that the government and health officials can say humanity will survive this but we don t know how long it will take for us to flatten the curve so hang on and we ll let you when you ve sacrificed enough income and enough social interaction and enough funerals and births and graduations and weddings then no that s hard forgive me if i think that this is inconvenient and that it s a blessing and that this is hard and that it s good at 8 55 am no comments wednesday april 22 2020 uncle micah micah always makes time for his nieces and nephews i wanted to always remember this exchange one sunday evening during the golden hour between micah and eli micah invited the little guy into the hammock with him so they could swing and talk about the deep things of the world eli s mind is very unusual for a three year old and that deep thinking leads to many funny conversations this time micah was explaining to him what it s like to live on venus and that you d burn up on the surface eli didn t quite believe micah until he d received corroborating evidence from other adults i love this part of micah s personality he s really got a soft spot for the little one just like his two older brothers my brother and my dad it will make him a great dad one day just like it has his older brothers eli didn t want to leave the provocative conversation with micah so tucker threw him over his shoulders teasing that eli was his prisoner and forcing the screaming kid into his carseat to go home to bed at 7 53 am no comments tuesday april 21 2020 quarantine navel gazing i miss who i used to be quarantine killed her maybe kill is a strong word quarantine forced her into hiding that s closer to what i hope is true i hope she comes back i miss her i miss jumping out of bed before 5 30 every day ready to exercise and set goals and plan the day my planner that i love has empty days and blank pages my graphs and charts so painstakingly created in january are not updated and april 2020 jenny can t care i feel more fragile and merely a shadow of what i was before before quarantine i miss wanting to eat the best food for my body and mind i can t find that motivation anywhere when i turned 50 i was in the best shape mentally and physically i ve been in in years now quarantine sags over my pants tightens my bra and softens my features and self discipline all the great habits i created in 2019 dissolved one by one and i did nothing to stop it from happening i miss direction i knew exactly where to take my thesis and had a plan prepared for life when i finished writing it in november now it all seems unimportant and peripheral i miss control knowing what was happening and when and where and managing my family s task list centered me and gave me purpose now that i am solely responsible for school exercise chores screen time and mental health i m exhausted and i want to stop being the manager i want to quit but know that that is not the right choice for my or my family s sanity and growth during this weird period in our lives funny enough i know what i ve been doing to get through this period of self isolation eating all the things and i mean all sleeping late postponing exercise and journaling until it s too late in the day does not make me happy even temporarily but there s something in the quarantined air that fights against my goals and convinces me that none of that other stuff really matters i made a decision tonight i m going to find 2019 me the me who plans and wakes up early and takes care of body and mind and revels in making and achieving even small goals she s somewhere under the murky sediment dumped from the great pandemic of 2020 a deep layer already solidifying and attempting to make itself permanently comfortable in my psyche but guess what i m in control of where this goes and how i control how i feel and how i react and how i move and how i fuel my mind and body i control what i read and what i believe and how i react to the uncontrollable ever changing crazy that surrounds me i m a fighter i haven t been for the last five weeks but she s making a comeback i know mufasa it s time at 7 58 am no comments monday april 20 2020 tending the vineyard are you appreciating one small benefit from the quarantine and that s the captive labor force not only have my kids helped with more projects but they have also done so with less complaining last year brad didn t have time to thin the peach tree and it split losing a sizable branch this year we enlisted all the troops to help it didn t take that long and they had pretty good attitudes most of the time it s been so beautiful around here lately but 100 degree temperatures are headed our way probably by monday at 6 31 am no comments wednesday april 15 2020 whistle while you work we ve had a cleaning crew every tuesday for longer than hyrum has been alive i know i m spoiled every monday night we pick up the house and every tuesday afternoon when the kids come home from school the house is magically clean four weeks ago was our last cleaning service as they walked to their cars the boss said this would be their last time until the pandemic social isolating is over my kids were less than thrilled when i told them they were my new tuesday morning cleaning crew don t get me wrong they know how to clean as well as most intransigent kids are and they did all the chores on saturday cecy and her crew mostly did my work for me beds blinds baseboards etc plus a middle of the week cleaning that got us through to saturday each week when the kids half baked it in the back of my mind i d often thought that i was doing their future spouses a disservice by having a cleaning crew but they inherited their laziness and job avoidance from somewhere and i never got around to teaching them the fine art of cleaning a house top to bottom in one day i told them they could split the money i pay cecy and her crew and they begrudgingly agreed that tuesday mornings would be a break from school and an introduction to paid jobs the first week was a little rough it took much longer than they thought and it wasn t as thorough as i thought but the second week we got into a little better rhythm they did a great job the second time the key is music they all like i discovered yesterday was not the sing song rosy experience of last week one anonymous member of my crew lamented we don t want to do this you are making us do this yep it was a little bit rough blame it on quarantine emotions right i don t know how many weeks it will take for them to figure out that stuffing wrappers and dirty dishes under the couch just creates more work later maybe this will be the week lucky for them and for me sarcasm font required here we have at least a few more weeks to figure it all out thank you covid 19 and your quarantine for giving me the opportunity to further teach torture my children at 6 29 am no comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom i m jenny chief administrator here at the sanatorium blog archive blog archive may 2020 2 april 2020 15 march 2020 13 february 2020 11 january 2020 8 november 2019 1 october 2019 5 september 2019 20 august 2019 9 june 2019 1 april 2019 1 march 2019 4 february 2019 5 january 2019 6 december 2018 3 may 2018 1 april 2018 2 february 2018 1 january 2018 4 october 2017 1 september 2017 4 august 2017 2 july 2017 1 june 2017 5 april 2017 1 march 2017 5 february 2017 6 january 2017 19 december 2016 12 november 2016 7 october 2016 10 september 2016 13 august 2016 15 july 2016 9 june 2016 14 may 2016 15 april 2016 15 march 2016 18 february 2016 15 january 2016 12 december 2015 16 november 2015 10 october 2015 15 september 2015 15 august 2015 21 july 2015 16 june 2015 19 may 2015 15 april 2015 21 march 2015 19 february 2015 20 january 2015 21 december 2014 19 november 2014 20 october 2014 22 september 2014 24 august 2014 22 july 2014 18 june 2014 22 may 2014 21 april 2014 23 march 2014 24 february 2014 20 january 2014 23 december 2013 22 november 2013 17 october 2013 21 september 2013 18 august 2013 20 july 2013 15 june 2013 17 may 2013 17 april 2013 20 march 2013 18 february 2013 16 january 2013 20 december 2012 20 november 2012 19 october 2012 16 september 2012 16 august 2012 16 july 2012 12 june 2012 15 may 2012 17 april 2012 17 march 2012 21 february 2012 18 january 2012 18 december 2011 19 november 2011 21 october 2011 21 september 2011 18 august 2011 20 july 2011 15 june 2011 21 may 2011 18 april 2011 20 march 2011 19 february 2011 19 january 2011 20 december 2010 18 november 2010 22 october 2010 17 september 2010 18 august 2010 20 july 2010 14 june 2010 27 may 2010 24 april 2010 23 march 2010 25 february 2010 23 january 2010 20 december 2009 17 november 2009 15 october 2009 17 september 2009 21 august 2009 18 july 2009 10 june 2009 11 may 2009 18 april 2009 19 march 2009 30 february 2009 23 january 2009 27 december 2008 11 november 2008 10 search this blog annie 53 ben 159 brad 96 ella 6 ellie 52 evie 176 heidi 47 heidi and sam 40 hyrum 291 jesus christ 10 jonah 33 karli 37 lily 184 micah 268 mothering 95 nathan 39 sam 4 summer the grand adventure 13 tucker 107 act 11 birth story 14 cabin 40 design 50 family 134 football 30 grad school 31 grandma 22 gratitude 30 heart 18 love myself project 51 marriage 9 mission 53 organization 26 parenting 12 photos 22 refine 12 remember 14 school 116 sugar addiction 23 vacation 134 work 36 yoga 7 powered by blogger