Meta tags:

Headings (most frequently used words):

2014, the, and, wednesday, monday, september, blessed, to, ask, it, will, be, given, pages, tuesday, june, 28, 2016, march, 25, 2015, december, 15, 10, about, me, blog, archive, followers, still, waiting, motherhood, through, adoption, women, of, wisdom, our, ninth, baby, who, we, never, got, meet, good, bad, ugly, exhausted, postpartum, cycles, months,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
and (101), the (84), was (53), for (46), that (27), all (22), but (22), with (22), had (22), god (20), have (20), baby (20), time (19), this (19), not (17), share (16), would (16), our (15), first (14), blessed (14), will (14), one (12), after (12), sleep (12), little (11), joseph (11), his (10), who (10), know (10), were (10), months (10), weeks (10), show (9), hope (9), got (9), there (9), need (9), #postpartum (9), when (9), long (9), motherhood (8), pray (8), more (8), life (8), another (8), about (8), wanted (8), thought (8), before (8), cycles (8), even (8), what (7), don (7), you (7), like (7), day (7), april (7), has (7), many (7), back (7), been (7), waiting (6), trying (6), things (6), home (6), joy (6), march (6), june (6), september (6), old (6), pregnancy (6), turned (6), now (6), new (6), happy (6), could (6), breastfeeding (6), began (6), difficult (6), feel (6), felt (6), napro (6), didn (6), grace (5), then (5), ask (5), from (5), journey (5), july (5), may (5), december (5), never (5), pinterest (5), facebook (5), blogthis (5), email (5), comments (5), posted (5), every (5), much (5), become (5), how (5), last (5), days (5), again (5), why (5), can (5), are (5), heart (4), perfect (4), mom (4), some (4), given (4), prayer (4), always (4), alone (4), february (4), 2014 (4), blog (4), year (4), years (4), miscarriages (4), something (4), ways (4), because (4), week (4), period (4), since (4), while (4), post (4), next (4), get (4), pregnant (4), too (4), once (4), progesterone (4), free (4), which (4), take (4), self (4), being (4), good (4), couldn (4), catholic (3), broken (3), place (3), mary (3), lord (3), give (3), thoughts (3), second (3), trust (3), joyful (3), faith (3), easy (3), amazing (3), light (3), anything (3), making (3), august (3), october (3), november (3), ectopic (3), mother (3), think (3), person (3), those (3), bleeding (3), ended (3), meant (3), well (3), really (3), avoid (3), huge (3), out (3), helped (3), returned (3), wrong (3), body (3), ttc (3), also (3), going (3), right (3), few (3), any (3), selfish (3), very (3), him (3), yes (3), only (3), energy (3), husband (3), means (3), horrible (3), mean (3), maybe (3), want (3), helping (3), decided (3), exhausted (3), away (3), became (3), better (3), during (3), myself (3), went (3), loss (3), met (3), blogger (2), bubble (2), star (2), finally (2), parents (2), allie (2), vocation (2), adoption (2), story (2), small (2), sight (2), patience (2), chasing (2), cross (2), chances (2), afraid (2), giving (2), beyond (2), conceiving (2), world (2), than (2), hopefully (2), still (2), january (2), 2013 (2), 2015 (2), ninth (2), meet (2), 2016 (2), completely (2), lives (2), feast (2), patron (2), saint (2), posts (2), blogging (2), month (2), grown (2), beginning (2), sounds (2), whenever (2), same (2), remember (2), five (2), arms (2), own (2), love (2), miss (2), two (2), almost (2), needs (2), wednesday (2), spotting (2), lochia (2), intimacy (2), told (2), half (2), however (2), return (2), reminder (2), term (2), having (2), producing (2), looks (2), between (2), peak (2), phase (2), most (2), likely (2), wish (2), wouldn (2), thinking (2), pain (2), desire (2), handle (2), see (2), children (2), doctor (2), monday (2), son (2), doing (2), cooking (2), four (2), birth (2), metformin (2), lose (2), extra (2), zero (2), taking (2), supplements (2), help (2), try (2), appointment (2), determined (2), over (2), vitamin (2), let (2), care (2), everything (2), slept (2), hour (2), stretches (2), night (2), clingy (2), needed (2), getting (2), ear (2), held (2), rocked (2), nights (2), worse (2), cry (2), wasn (2), end (2), sanity (2), cio (2), slowly (2), around (2), asking (2), enough (2), gave (2), selfishness (2), finding (2), glad (2), hours (2), vacation (2), realize (2), physically (2), tell (2), opened (2), infertility (2), tube (2), emotionally (2), wait (2), find (2), hcg (2), levels (2), suffering (2), ethereal, theme, powered, says, raising, saints, shoved, them, shower, roses, falling, upward, cheerfully, chaotic, monica, reasons, chocolate, abigail, alcove, women, wisdom, adopted, andrew, julie, isaiah, treasures, sufficient, hang, possibilities, exist, seeking, lamp, dark, renewing, moments, timing, patiently, kinda, babies, everywhere, none, call, mama, martha, worry, henderson, jeremiah, magnify, through, must, prayed, endo, exults, tucked, beneath, wing, won, humblebee, persevere, inside, wheelbarrow, infertile, matching, moonheads, fertile, screllos, hebrews, sign, longer, blondie, awaiting, thanks, makes, possible, sew, plan, fertility, 411, 418, power, weakness, percolating, petals, holmes, rise, shine, glory, child, crow, nest, truegoodandbeautiful, net, lucky, sunshine, quiet, morning, ecce, fiat, refining, made, suffices, loving, alive, road, frustrated, musings, seemingly, calm, gal, simone, laugh, followers, 2010, 2011, 2012, archive, contact, blessedbelord, gmail, com, view, complete, profile, wife, married, nearly, early, continues, teresa, alphonsa, anthony, catherine, siena, 29th, against, gianna, 28th, dear, subscribe, atom, older, missed, writing, starts, crying, 2nd, personality, interactive, funny, chuckles, loud, throws, fight, sleepy, hard, here, happiest, true, joys, sorrows, single, brings, struggles, painful, brought, close, trusted, hearts, used, struggle, accept, reality, able, best, awake, reminds, strive, heaven, bring, happiness, born, until, resume, intercourse, risks, tired, belly, question, dry, desert, fun, dryness, heavy, crampy, hello, mixed, emotions, agonizing, miraculously, conceived, carried, ovulating, lol, enter, 10kls, big, competition, ovulation, ideal, neither, achieve, nor, short, miscarriage, high, regulate, conceive, where, torn, just, treatments, stay, amazingly, seriously, awful, lack, stitches, ever, seemed, thankfully, calmed, down, smiling, cooing, fever, insane, thinks, serious, reason, should, open, bless, pattern, visit, talk, praying, hoping, coconut, oil, warning, hormones, skip, sums, feeling, lately, basic, stuff, cleaning, laundry, terrible, joking, eat, doubted, huh, irritated, hormonal, pmsey, mention, sore, achy, whole, feels, muscle, cramps, troubleshoot, set, appt, 3rd, cycle, way, low, contributing, pms, thyroid, screwed, adjust, dosage, armour, unnecessary, meds, lbs, isn, pounds, exercise, loop, looking, might, suggestions, missing, else, these, helps, meanwhile, buddy, please, say, fatigue, function, normally, b12, iron, calcium, hungry, land, somehow, busy, start, saying, healthy, nine, pull, hinself, past, tested, mil, sleeper, content, juggle, household, chores, demanding, grove, caught, cold, double, infections, anywhere, except, leave, work, though, infection, cleared, antibiotics, wake, pacifier, nursed, verge, losing, failing, pacify, make, weak, spent, reading, regression, soothing, turning, into, deprived, angry, soon, begin, pity, party, list, complaints, impatient, blame, game, hated, bear, walk, far, miserable, daily, deprivation, fit, poor, snapped, becoming, unbearable, instant, lent, internet, fast, focus, family, bit, tongue, snap, coming, learning, put, others, learned, control, anger, improving, gradually, atleast, newborn, suddenly, play, himself, seem, cried, tears, increased, solids, times, nursing, relief, solid, fluke, waking, wonderful, realized, senseless, browsing, mini, beach, such, welcome, change, thank, cannot, without, strength, exhausting, people, focused, wants, whatever, eyes, truly, understand, dying, bad, ugly, write, successful, mommy, knew, update, did, onto, devastating, lost, fallopian, ruptured, hardest, thing, experienced, both, imfertility, defined, several, led, reproductive, immunologist, carry, miracle, precious, till, weaned, medications, avoiding, moved, canada, stressful, country, job, rent, india, relatives, yet, feb, settled, city, 6th, positive, hpt, faint, thus, wrenching, 9th, growing, womb, elsewhere, lot, decisions, ultrasounds, fetal, pole, gestational, sac, seen, placental, cells, attached, methotrexate, followups, non, hopeless, kind, fought, smallest, remark, stretched, limits, sustained, ohr, marriage, emotional, guilt, doubts, fear, death, anxieties, loomed, behind, somewhat, normal, weight, lifted, peace, comfort, knowing, worst, course, future, guaranteed, strong, grateful, beautiful, tuesday, pages, seek, knock, door, matthew,

Text of the page (random words):
t for april on april 6th i had a positive hpt faint as always thus began a long and heart wrenching journey to find that our 9th baby was not growing in my womb but elsewhere we met with the new napro dr who helped us a lot in making the right decisions after 6 ultrasounds there was no fetal pole or gestational sac to be seen it was determined that the baby had not grown but the placental cells that had attached to my tube were producing hcg i got methotrexate the beginning of may i had followups for 4 weeks before hcg levels went to non pregnant levels those 2 months felt hopeless in so many ways i didn t know why god was asking this kind of suffering again i fought with my husband at the smallest remark we were stretched beyond our limits and let me tell you it was god alone who sustained ohr marriage during this difficult time the emotional guilt the doubts the fear of death and so many anxieties loomed around me now that it is behind me and things are somewhat normal i feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from me i have felt peace and comfort and even joy knowing that the worst is over for now of course i don t want to think about the future because we are not guaranteed a life free of suffering the desire to have children is so strong but i don t know if i can handle another loss emotionally i m always grateful to god for our beautiful 2 year old son who is the light of our lives posted by blessed at 9 04 am 5 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday march 25 2015 the good the bad and the ugly i have been away from blogging land for a long time i have wanted to post my thoughts for a long time but somehow life became busy let me first start by saying we have a happy healthy nine month old who is trying to pull hinself up the past few months were really difficult for me i was being tested in many ways but by the grace of god i am much better now the first five months with joseph were really easy for me as i had my mom or mil to take care of us and help us with cooking and everything joseph was a good sleeper and he even slept for 6 7 hour stretches during the night when he turned 4 months he was a content baby and i was a happy mom when the little one turned 6 months old he became extra clingy and needed me always now that i was all alone with joseph i had to juggle with household chores taking care of him and dh it was demanding but i was getting my grove when the little one caught his first cold which turned to double ear infections baby jo was in pain and had to be held or rocked to sleep he wouldn t sleep anywhere except in my arms the nights were long and i was getting very little sleep dh was helping me but he couldn t take leave from work which meant i was exhausted with the long nights though the ear infection cleared after antibiotics his sleep got worse and worse he would wake every hour or so and cry the pacifier wasn t helping he had to be held or rocked or nursed by the end of four weeks i was on the verge of losing my sanity i felt i was failing as a mom i couldn t pacify my baby i couldn t make him sleep i didn t know what i was doing wrong i even thought of cio but was too weak to try it out dh and i spent every free second reading about sleep regression self soothing cio and what not i was slowly turning into a sleep deprived angry and mean person as soon as dh got home i would begin a pity party with a long list of complaints i would get impatient with dh for everything the blame game never ended and i hated myself for being so mean i couldn t bear to be around myself all i wanted was to walk away to a far away place and sleep things became so miserable that i would cry almost daily and ask god to give me more patience i even thought if was better than motherhood yes this is what sleep deprivation can do to you i didn t know why god was asking me so much maybe i was not fit to be a mother oh the thoughts i had during those 6 weeks one day poor dh snapped at me and told me i was becoming unbearable i decided enough was enough and wanted to become a better person that instant lent was the perfect time for it i gave up fb and internet i needed to fast and focus on my family and my sanity i bit my tongue every time i wanted to snap i was slowly coming out of my selfishness i was learning to put others first before my own selfishness i learned to control my anger and began finding time for more prayer when joseph turned 8 months things began improving gradually he would sleep for 2 3 stretches and i was glad that we were atleast back to the newborn days one day he suddenly decided to play by himself and didn t seem to be all that clingy my baby was back to being his happy old self i cried tears of joy i increased solids to 3 times a day and he began going 4 5 hours between nursing which was a huge relief for me and then one night my little one slept for a good solid 7 hours i thought it was a fluke but no it wasn t he has only being waking once for the last 5 6 weeks more sleep means he is a wonderful happy bubble baby i realized i have time for myself and god when i gave up fb and senseless browsing we went for a mini vacation last week to the beach it was such a welcome change i thank god for making me realize how i cannot do anything without his grace and strength motherhood is difficult physically exhausting i don t know why i thought motherhood after if would be easy i wish people would tell me for once that motherhood is difficult with if i had so much free time i was focused only on my needs and wants i could do whatever i wanted whenever i wanted i had become selfish in ways i didn t realize i am glad god has opened my eyes and i truly understand what it means dying to self posted by blessed at 2 24 pm 6 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday december 1 2014 exhausted exhausted yes that sums up how i been feeling lately my son is doing amazing it s only that i have no energy to do basic stuff like cooking cleaning and laundry i felt so well the first four months postpartum but the last few weeks have been terrible zero energy and i am hungry all the time not joking i could eat all day my husband even doubted if i was pregnant huh it also means i am irritated and feel hormonal or pmsey which i have never felt before giving birth not to mention how sore and achy my whole body feels i have horrible muscle cramps on some days i have been trying to troubleshoot why i feel so horrible need to set an appt with my napro dr i am on my 3rd postpartum cycle and looks like i am in the post peak phase it could mean my progesterone is way too low contributing to pms maybe my thyroid is all screwed up and need to adjust the dosage of armour maybe i need to go back on metformin but i don t want to take unnecessary meds while breastfeeding i need to lose 15 20 lbs and breastfeeding isn t helping lose the extra pounds i need to exercise but i have zero energy sounds like a loop looking back at what i had been taking before birth i decided that i need to take vitamin d calcium and iron supplements yes it might help and i got some suggestions about vitamin b12 so i am going to try that too and after the appointment i can hopefully be on progesterone i don t know if i am missing anything else but i am determined to not miss any of these supplements if it helps me become my old self meanwhile prayer buddy please say a prayer for me that i can get over this horrible fatigue and function normally posted by blessed at 8 59 pm 6 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday september 15 2014 postpartum cycles warning this post is all about postpartum cycles ttc and hormones feel free to skip it after our little joseph was born i had postpartum bleeding for 2 weeks and then spotting until week 6 i was so happy when the lochia ended it meant we could resume intimacy after well a really long long time we were told to avoid intercourse the first half of pregnancy because of all the risks and the bleeding i had the second half of pregnancy meant i was tired and with a huge belly intimacy was completely out of question after the lochia ended i was dry as a desert not fun at all but coconut oil helped with all the dryness however i had my first period at 9 weeks postpartum since i am breastfeeding i thought it would be a while before my period returned wrong the first period was heavy and crampy hello af i had mixed emotions at the return of af it was a reminder of my broken body and the agonizing years of ttc it also was a reminder that i had miraculously conceived and carried a baby to term i thought since af had returned i would be ovulating and having 30 32 day cycles lol wrong enter week 12 and i began spotting and had light bleeding for a week after that my body has been producing 10kls for weeks at a time looks like there is a big competition going on between breastfeeding and ovulation not ideal but right now we are neither trying to achieve nor trying to avoid the post peak phase will be short the first few postpartum cycles and the chances of a miscarriage are high we know it will be a while before my cycles regulate and most likely it will be difficult to conceive while breastfeeding this is where i am torn i love this baby so much and i just wish that there would be a next time and that the next time we wouldn t need any treatments to get pregnant and stay pregnant however i feel selfish for even thinking of another baby when the lord has blessed us so amazingly and when there are so many waiting to be blessed with a baby seriously i remember how awful i felt the first 2 weeks postpartum with lack of sleep and all the pain from the stitches i thought i would never ever have any desire for another baby because it seemed all too difficult to handle thankfully things calmed down after the first 4 weeks and i had a very happy baby when i see him smiling and cooing i have baby fever i don t know if i am insane for even thinking of it dh thinks there is no serious reason that we should avoid and he is open to as many children as god would bless us with once my cycles return to a pattern i will most likely visit my napro doctor to talk about progesterone i am praying and hoping that there would be a next time but again i feel so selfish posted by blessed at 3 14 pm 3 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday september 10 2014 3 months i have missed blogging every time i think of writing something my little one starts crying and then i have no time joseph turned 3 months on the 2nd of this month he has grown so much and is beginning to show his personality he has become more interactive with us with his funny chuckles and loud sounds he throws a fight whenever he is sleepy motherhood is amazing and hard at the same time i remember how all i wanted the last five years was to have a baby in my arms now that joseph is here i thought i would be the happiest person in this world but that s not true life is still the same with joys and sorrows every single day brings it s own struggles this reminds me why i need to strive for heaven because god alone can bring me perfect happiness i love joseph but there is something i miss about our life as two those days were painful but it brought us close in so many ways and we trusted in god with all our hearts i was so used to my life as two that i almost struggle on some days to accept this new reality i am afraid if i will be able to do my best for joseph but then again i need to trust god ok the little one is awake and needs me i will be back to share more posted by blessed at 1 05 pm 5 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest older posts home subscribe to posts atom o my dear mother pray for us st gianna feast april 28th my patron saint for 2013 pray for us st catherine of siena feast april 29th patron saint against miscarriages pray for us st anthony pray for us st alphonsa pray for us blessed mother teresa pray for us about me blessed a 30 year old catholic wife married for nearly 5 years one ectopic pregnancy 6 early miscarriages and the journey continues as we trust in the lord completely for his will in our lives view my complete profile contact me at blessedbelord gmail com blog archive 2016 1 june 1 our ninth baby who we never got to meet 2015 1 march 1 2014 12 december 1 september 2 july 1 june 1 may 2 march 2 february 1 january 2 2013 26 december 2 november 4 october 5 september 1 august 3 july 1 june 4 may 1 april 1 march 2 february 2 2012 34 december 1 november 2 october 5 september 3 august 3 july 3 june 4 may 1 april 3 march 5 february 3 january 1 2011 39 december 7 november 3 october 4 september 3 august 1 july 3 june 4 may 1 april 4 march 6 february 3 2010 3 july 3 followers still waiting making god laugh simone s journey frustrated musings of a seemingly calm gal the road home alive in hope loving god s will one joyful day waiting hopefully more than anything god alone suffices made for another world refining journey conceiving hope ecce fiat quiet light morning star lucky as sunshine blessed to be truegoodandbeautiful net the crow s nest show 5 show all blessed to motherhood faith like a child rise and shine and give god the glory mary grace holmes finally parents chasing joy waiting in joyful hope percolating petals perfect power in weakness amazing life the 411 on the 418 s faith for fertility god s plan is my joy sew joy beyond the cross faith makes things possible not easy allie s vocation of motherhood always giving thanks awaiting in joyful hope be not afraid hope pray trust no longer waiting for baby blondie blogger sign in second chances the what if cross hebrews 11 1 the screllos fertile thoughts matching moonheads infertile catholic life as we know it life from inside the wheelbarrow persevere in prayer ask and it will be given chasing joy mom then some all you who hope my humblebee home time won t give me time tucked beneath his wing small things and not by sight my heart exults blessed and broken endo who i must have prayed for patience more like mary more like me show 5 show all blessed through adoption magnify the lord with me all you who hope jeremiah 29 11 the henderson story pray hope don t worry a martha trying to be mary grace in my heart babies everywhere but none that call me mama patiently waiting kinda all in his perfect timing renewing moments and not by sight seeking the lamp in a dark place hang on possibilities exist his grace is sufficient blessed and broken small treasures isaiah 55 8 9 andrew and julie s adoption story allie s vocation of motherhood finally parents he adopted me first show 5 show all women of wisdom abigail s alcove reasons for chocolate heart of st monica cheerfully chaotic falling upward shower of roses a star of hope shoved to them little catholic bubble raising saints what if god says no show 5 show a...