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oganexsi sojournal another time another place another life another face feeds posts comments trying to find someplace to belong november 10 2025 by ilia so i guess i m still looking for my tribe the place where i can feel surrounded by people who understand and accept me the place where my creativity can flow where my spirit feels free where i can learn about my true self sorry if that sounds cheesy i used to think i had found them in that mysterious place called real life but it was just temporary everyone drifted apart drifted away i was on a road that i couldn t navigate there were mistakes rocky places things i didn t understand i thought for quite some time that i had found my tribe in second life and maybe for a time that was true sadly it didn t last there was a sudden fork in the road a decision was made that i couldn t agree with they went one way and i went the other i still mourn the loss but i did what i had to do so now i m cautiously exploring staying in the shadows not showing too much of myself yet i m hoping that one of these days i ll finally find the place and the people that i ve always been searching for in the meantime i ve come to accept that for now my tribe is a group of random individuals scattered over the real and virtual worlds maybe i ll find the place i belong the place i can finally feel comfortable and maybe i won t regardless those scattered lights shining in the darkness will always be the ones i love and come back to posted in memories leave a comment burning up or just burned out august 30 2025 by ilia it s getting to be that time again in sl planning is underway for the big burn2 octoburn i still haven t gone back you can read my rant about all that below do i miss it of course i do will i participate again i still can t say sorry another rant incoming feel free to skip it if you re tired of hearing it i ve been watching video clips from the current rl burning man and in spite of the troubles they ve been having with the weather seeing it does make me miss the sl event i miss the playa the building the music the way the community used to be that s what s uppermost in my mind i miss the way it used to be linden lab s child avatar policy seems not to have changed so my plans haven t changed i know burn2 has to follow the rules like it or not but a compromise could have been made why could we not have just said these events these sims these sections of the playa are reserved for nudity child avatars please keep out i suppose that sounds like a crazy idea the burn2 code of ethics talks about community about a sense of belonging and family it talks about diversity welcoming all who desire to participate hmm not sure i m seeing that anymore it talks about accountability could we not have held participating child avatars accountable for their actions for being responsible for staying out of nudity allowed areas apparently not just the other day i was listening to a real life burner talking about the ten principles and how they ve come to govern his life i looked them up again and i thought hey what happened to radical inclusion anyone may be a part of the event oh whoops unless they happen to be a child avatar no inclusion there how about radical self reliance and civic responsibility these aren t real children seems to me the people behind the keyboards are perfectly capable of understanding the rules and the new policies and staying out of areas that they aren t allowed to be in the conditions at second life s annual burn aren t harsh and chaotic like they are at the rl event but i guess we still can t allow anyone to enjoy attending as a virtual child radical inclusion my shiny metal ass i miss the way it was when i was new here posted in complaints leave a comment remembering an old friend november 1 2024 by ilia this is the time of year when in the real world at least the barrier between this world and the next grows thin and we remember those loved ones we ve lost one particular person i m remembering who i remember constantly is osprey therian osprey passed away on december 9 2013 i was lucky enough to be her friend and to share in various adventures in the forest of kahruvel with her i miss her so much now and then i like to go to her land in bodega and just look around and think about her i like that there are still various quirky things there like the cave and the fortune cookies you can click on and the beautiful giant shell i visited last night and got a copy of one of her real world paintings i d seen it in the brownstone building and decided it was time to have my own copy to remember her by it now adorns a wall in a quiet part of my favorite skybox and my secret evil lair is a bit less evil with it there i wish i could find some of my old pictures to illustrate a couple of my favorite memories of her the time a whole bunch of us put on her duck on a bike avatar and invaded the sl governor s mansion and my favorite act from the show must go on the unicycle knitting drill team that was classic osprey clever and funny and unexpected to me osprey was the spirit of second life fun and adventure helping out and friendship and trying new things art and imagination one part of her sl profile said 100 platypus free certificate shown upon receipt of written request i still wish i had taken the time to send her a written request just to see if she actually had a certificate i m still pondering trying to learn how to do mesh because it s what she would have done if you visit my seaside village in cowell you might notice a sea bird an osprey perched on a post near the fish shack that s for her i do still remember her with a few tears but more than that with smiles and laughter with great memories with new ideas for builds with time spent exploring the grid and discovering new places and cool things i like to think her spirit is still on the grid flitting between servers see you later osprey also listening again to this posted in general sl memories leave a comment october 5 2024 by ilia i ve started to explore the steamlands again i m trying to hide my horns when i m there because i don t think they take kindly to fae but in this photo i didn t in this pic i m hanging out at the bucket of blood in new babbage having a drink and feeling gloomy about the emptiness of the city it s a rough looking establishment but it serves biscuits and gravy so how bad can it be posted in ongoing adventures travels leave a comment walking away from the fire september 4 2024 by ilia hey hello here i am trying to keep this blog going once again mostly because i need to vent about stuff and there s nowhere else i can really do it besides on my own blog i can say what i want without worrying about offending anybody so i ve pulled out of burn2 for the time being left all the related groups recent events have made me think it s time to take a break from it all recent events being the way linden lab is once again freaking out over child avatars their new policy is a child avatar is not permitted to be at any event or location where nudity or sexual activities are either present encouraged or expected and of course this affects burn2 in a big way so they had a vote nudity or child avatars and the vote was 5 to 1 in favor of nudity what a surprise the result of this is that child avatars are no longer allowed at burn2 this is exactly how i expected things to end up i m not surprised but i am angry it irritates me that nudity is apparently such an important thing for burn2 events nope not gonna put our clothes on gotta be able to be naked whenever we want gotta run around flashing our expensive mesh boobs at all times edit i can appreciate that some people enjoy the freedom and self expression or whatever of being able to run around naked but it s not as if that s a rare thing in sl there are countless places on the grid where you can be naked with various groups of people or with nobody why does the playa have to be another one some of my closest friends in sl are child avatars they have never caused any trouble they would never willingly enter any area where nudity was expected they were formerly a big part of octoburn doing lots of work for the event every year and always doing an amazing job and the thanks they get is to be kicked out sure they could use temporary adult avatars for burn2 events but why should they have to this is why i don t visit sims with human avatars only policies because my appearance is a big part of who i am their chosen appearance is part of who they are in this virtual world i respect that and i wish other people did as well edit you shouldn t have to change who you are if who you are isn t harming anyone just because other people are offended by it for their own petty reasons i ve always enjoyed being part of the big octoburn event or at least i used to i enjoyed the feeling of community and the child avatars were part of that community i liked seeing their theme camp every year i appreciated the hard work they did and the amazing things they built i got a kick out of seeing random kid avatars running around on the playa even if i didn t know them do people not understand that nudity doesn t always have to be sexual is it not a valid solution to just warn the child avatars that they need to stay away from areas where people are going to be naked i mean damn none of these people are actual kids anyway nothing here is real we re all basically cartoons playing in a cartoon world changing our minds about what we look like on a whim let the kid avs dance around the fire with the topless women i don t give a damn it doesn t affect me it doesn t bother me i suppose linden lab is worried about possible legal issues child porn or whatever but again these aren t real children given the way this all turned out i decided i couldn t be part of octoburn or any of the other events anymore at least not for the forseeable future it hurts me that my friends aren t able to be a part of this event anymore because too many people put a higher priority on being naked edit the octoburn event used to be a big part of my year something i looked forward to planning for and participating in now i just don t care if my friends aren t allowed for such a crazy reason then it s not for me anymore i used to enjoy the time leading up to the event just building and hanging out with like minded people feeling like part of a community working together to watch something big rise up from the playa it saddens me to lose that but supporting my friends is more important to me if i took part now i would always be thinking about the people who weren t allowed to i mean hell as long as i m complaining that isn t even the only reason i left the last two years i took part in octoburn everyone did a lot of hard work built some amazing things and there just weren t that many visitors i think maybe burn2 should be more concerned with increasing attendance at their biggest event of the year than they are with a few child avatars running around i just can t deal with it anymore i m walking away from it for awhile will i be back i don t know only time will tell for now i m leaving the fire until it feels more welcoming edit i have a village on the sea in cowell and kid avs are welcome there anytime come explore the town and the forest go swimming and boating run around and be goofy posted in complaints leave a comment packing it in for another year october 24 2022 by ilia well octoburn is done for another year i went back to my plot one last time tonight saved a few pieces that i want to incorporate into the village in cowell and deleted or took back the rest it s always kind of sad to have the event end but i just have to remember what a good friend told me it was better next year i don t know maybe it s just me because i don t always have time to be there as much as i d like but i feel like it was a quieter event this year just not a lot of people from outside the community it s a shame because i built what i think was a pretty cool camp everybody did and i m not sure how many people saw it oh well there were a lot of cool builds lots of music and time spent with old friends and that s what counts i m moving on into halloween as you can see from the look above plus as i mentioned i ll be working a few pieces from my build into the landscape in cowell time to get back to work there so for another year burn on posted in ongoing adventures travels leave a comment memo from octoburn in progress october 14 2022 by ilia how has a week gone by already it doesn t seem like it should have been that long octoburn is interesting so far there s a lot of music as always and a whole variety of fascinating builds it seems to me that there are fewer builds this year for some reason also i haven t seen many people walking around but maybe that s just because i tend to be online later at night above is an overview of my plot representing the subconscious with a variety of strange surreal scenes it s in one corner of the morpheus sim come check it out i might actually move a few select pieces to the village in cowell when the burn is over posted in building stuff ongoing adventures leave a comment it s getting closer september 24 2022 by ilia work is proceeding on my build for the upcoming burn2 octoburn event waking dreams the event is october 7 16 2022 and it ll include all the fun stuff you ve come to expect art music cool people and of course things being set on fire stay tuned posted in building stuff ongoing adventures leave a comment hey wow it s been awhile september 11 2022 by ilia yikes wow so yeah i ve finally decided to dust off this blog and make an attempt at keeping it going again hope i can still figure out how to do this so a lot of things are still the same i m still in sl still have my land in cowell the seaside village endures and continues to grow and evolve i m taking part in burn2 octoburn again this year the theme is waking dreams i m excited to be back part of the burn2 community again it s gonna be amazing i ll post more about it when it gets closer after 18 years in this place gasp i m still finding it amazing and fascinating i m still finding new places to explore i m still making more plans for my beloved village i ll try to do a better job of keeping my blog active now posted in announcements ongoing adventures leave a comment winding up 2018 december 31 2018 by ilia so it s the last day of 2018 i just want to take a moment to sum things up as best i can it s been an interesting year i marked my 14th year in second life which still amazes me and i was in charge of a weekend burn2 event for the first time hopefully some of you remember the bacony goodness of breakfast on the playa and after 14 years i m still stubbornly holding onto my system avatar and resisting buying a mesh body nyaahhh there have been a couple of especially memorable things about 2018 i expanded my land holdings in cowell and added more to the...