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breathelighter reducing stress one exhale at a time breathelighter reducing stress one exhale at a time menu skip to content home awards and recognitions who is breathing lighter search search for thinking about resilience mary oliver inspired january 1 2026 debra 17 comments i learned a long time ago that making resolutions for the new year was a good way to set myself up for disappointment i prefer intention setting shifting the focus from outcomes to the experience of daily living i suppose i lean into anything with more flexibility than rigidity i have written several times of my belief that developing resilience in our lives is a necessary practice the first time i shared this topic was fifteen years ago following my brief meeting and welcome conversational exchange shared with political figure elizabeth edwards during a signing of her book resilience sadly she passed away the following year at the age of 61 she made a lasting impression on me and i ve thought of her many times over the past many years with the spirit of her words particularly significant to me over the last twenty months moving from one year to another the cultural messages of a fresh start or clean slate imply resetting but grief and love do not reset with the calendar poet mary oliver s heavy in which she wrote about the death of her long time partner molly malone cooke appears in her 2006 collection thirst which chronicles her journey through overwhelming grief yet clearly resonates with her resilience i recommend you find the entire poem but i hope this excerpt gives you pause to think about any loads you carry and perhaps inspires you to consider how you think about this one impactful word resilience it s not the weight you carry but how you carry it books bricks grief it s all in the way you embrace it balance it carry it when you cannot and would not put it down every time i have posted this past year and mentioned my own significant loss i have also referenced the grief accompanying the region where i live and the devastating local fires this next week marks the first anniversary that changed the lives of thousands of my neighbors and a handful of very close friends because of my dear friends i have had an up close and personal glimpse into their suffering and by definition loss and unwanted change birth grief when you ve lost everything you own including the roof over your head we don t all share the same losses nor do we have identical coping methods and resilience might look different to each person as well but speaking for myself or maybe speaking to myself i m intrigued with what continuing to develop a friendship with resilience might offer a contemporary expansion of oliver s themes suggests like the grass that is determined to grow despite unending obstacles your resilience is not a choice you make once but a quiet deadly persistence to rise from the heart share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print share on x opens in new window x share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest like loading posts navigation older posts follow breathelighter on wordpress com follow blog via email enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email email address follow recent posts thinking about resilience mary oliver inspired my wi fi was fine my brain wasn t doing nothing in the state of overwhelm no photos few words walking in wonder bring out the widow s weeds debra native southern californian with a love of poetry music yoga gardening and regular dips in the pacific ocean i m passionate about protecting the environment and passing on my love of the natural world to my four beautiful grandchildren view full profile copyright unauthorized use and or duplication of this material without express permission from this blog s author is strictly prohibited archives archives select month january 2026 november 2025 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