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Text of the page (random words):
irit of the separator of all being has formed himself into one characteristic and has made here a counter stroke or image of itself according to its outflow either according to evil or good everything according to the characteristics of nature according to heat or cold according to harsh bitter sweet or sour or however it may be in all such formation externally there is only such an elemental manner as in such sulfur and salt but in the internal ground in the tincture it is good and useful and belongs to its likeness for the nutrimentum of life which according to the astral and elemental manners stands in all characteristics according to the external ground counter stroke accord a cord a chord external ground nutrimentum all things are tied in place by divine will as one once called christ s iron will even the bitter the sour the wrathful or loving words that one passively seeks for the bravery to say all in place to create networks of golden cracks and blazing outflows of exuberance posted by amarilla at 10 48 am 0 comments saturday july 5 2014 the grace of frailty as i see many that i love grow more frail and that includes myself i grieve and mourn a thought blows through my mind tonight that gives me hope the thought that each being that incarnated here as a person was truly so much more than the mortal being and that this process of dying is also the process of the rebirth of the eternal angelic soul so it s no wonder that in japan they sometimes line the cracks of broken things with gold as if it were the place the light got in the place where the amnesia tears posted by amarilla at 10 49 pm 0 comments saturday june 14 2014 carroll gardens posted by amarilla at 11 38 am 0 comments sunday may 11 2014 the mother we give birth to what gives us the strength to go slow is love mother s day we think of the ideal mother she makes us safe she loves us she is generous patient she is wise this mother is no where in the world this mother we are giving birth to all the time in ourselves she comes when we give up on having our needs met by the world or other people and we realize that we are the ones we have been waiting for we are the mother we need no one else knows what we need like we do but to become clear very clear about what we need we must find the strength to slow down we must go very very slow because we are making tiny but important decisions all the time choices that result in our wellness or our continued suffering it takes tremendous love to allow ourselves to go that slow slow enough to be clear that the choice we are making is the choice that truly gives us power it takes a lot of prayers for clarity and a willingness to let go of the confusion that hides from us what we d rather not see a strong mother never runs from the truth but stares it in the eye with abundant love she knows there s no power in running away she knows the old habits make us sick she knows choices must be grounded in understanding she knows the force of our desperation causes our suffering she knows that patience with ourselves the patience that allows us to listen very closely and carefully to rediscover ourselves will ease some of that desperation that drives us away from our wisdom and hides from us those internal wounds that we most need to doctor some find this mother in their awareness in awareness that refuses to get caught up in the hubbub swirling around us that hubbub that is always stealing our true spiritual power the hubbub that is nothing more than a stream of enchantments and distractions this mother is being born every minute every time we sit quietly and honestly in contemplation of our experience and in prayers for wisdom and clarity in the force of the love of this mother we gain the strength to allow and understand the truth and that most important truth is that we alone are the ones that we need to make us feel safe this mother in us knows how to make us feel safe even when the world is a storm of chaos she calms our blood she slows our heartbeat she lets us sip the true power of creating a paradise of forgiveness and peace within this healer this teacher this friend this doctor this great love is born in us when we say to the precious jewel of the universe wisdom here i am please come in i have all the time in the world for you it is strange to think of oneself as the mother of wisdom but that is who we are when we sit quietly and face experience with honesty love and acceptance and that mother of wisdom that bringer of peace is clearly the one we have been waiting for happy mother s day posted by amarilla at 6 52 am 0 comments sunday may 4 2014 meditation as self reliance meditation as loving self connection empowers the amazing healing powers of the body don t let anyone dissuade you from this healing silence when empowered to do so the body has amazing powers for healing itself physically emotionally and spiritually in this way the practice of meditation and mindful movement are powerful tools in supporting health and developing an increasing sense of well being the body is a product of electronic signals electronic movements of ions make our hearts beat pulls breath into our lungs creates flows of energy between the neurons in our brains we are a self organizing electronic fields you can feel this as tingling in hands or feet shifts of tension or relaxation within the body the body is a miraculously intelligent organism that is sometimes not empowered to work to the best of its ability historic trauma causes constriction numbing and avoidance that impedes the best working of the body instead of embodiment the traumas of life can cause dissociation and various forms of subtle paralysis meditation and mindful movement support embodiment and doing so gives your marvelous body permission and support in healing itself we don t have to know how the body does this its mechanisms are faster than thought and before thought so it is not in the range of our understanding people who ve experienced terrifying traumas sometimes lose their connection to their body s healing power they can lose hope trust a sense of self connection and ability and feel trapped and uncomfortable in their skin even if we ve suffered trauma that makes us feel uncomfortable in our own skin and willing to dissociate from the body we can look inside ourselves and find pockets of comfort and happiness in our bodies and empower our bodies to do their tremendous healing work we can honor the body and soul together through the practice of meditation or embodied mindfulness in meditation please give yourself permission to rest in the goodness and healing power of your body please rest in the intelligent interdependence of all the body s vital organs and the kaleidoscopic and electronic interplay of body soul and mind your body is waiting to love you and support you and help you remember forgotten things it is always waiting to love and support you a buddhist sage jetsun milarepa is famous for living in the mountains of tibet in order to develop his spiritual life he wore hardly any clothes and ate mostly a food known as stinging nettles he never married or had children milarepa had a friend in his body though he taught that the body was a tutelary deity meaning a powerful protecting force in our lives we can see that the body is indeed a protecting as well as healing force in meditation we can feel very safe within this natural brilliance warmth and intelligence and feel very nourished by that vital electricity that we can feel tingling in our hands nourished by the warmth that we can feel radiating from heart from gut or anywhere else we can nourish our bodies by letting our bodies nourish us in this way the practice of meditation and mindful movement are powerful tools in supporting health and developing an increasing and autonomously arising sense of well being it may be that few ever truly understood what a miracle the body is not to mention the soul just as one can bask in the sunshine we can bask now in the warmth and brilliance of the body s natural and loving support and intelligence posted by amarilla at 6 53 am 0 comments tuesday april 29 2014 bartleby silk and heroin what does it feel like to be with you right now spiritually speaking what are you wearing many times throughout life i felt i was wearing some sort of distorting instrument of torture with seams in all the wrong places and a lining of burlap or velcro now sometimes experientially speaking i wear silk even while i may be in some degree of pain some might say that in truth there is nothing but silk in chinese jin means silk i am not a chinese speaker but to me that sounds a lot like yin most likely you ve heard of yin maybe you know it signifies the feminine aspect and stands interdependently with yang the male component maybe you know that yang is usually associated with things that are hard and with concerted activity yin on the other hand is kind of an emptiness a softness acceptance the quality of listening knowing and discerning for life to be balanced and for action to be holistically informed there must be a balance between yin and yang i have been pushed my entire life to be something like super yang as have many since we live in the age of super yang we have solutions for every discomfort but those solutions are in turn creating more discomfort yin the quality that allows wisdom and acceptance so often associated with spiritual growth has become terrifying one might think of melville s bartleby who refused to do the work he was hired for because his instinct preferred not to and he refused to betray himself we are all terrified of this bartleby the efforts of yang collapsing into yin functionally speaking yang represents earthly efficacy and yin spiritually efficacy these two things stand in opposition when yang is fixated by terror anyway sometimes spiritual efficacy specifically undermines earthly efficacy so that we can recover our true identities as emanations of the divine one idiom that addresses this relationship is the statement you want to know how to make god laugh make plans the reason yang is so crazed and terrified is because of the trauma of forgetting this fact it is out to manipulate everything into being more pleasurable when the thing that will bring us home may be the discomfort of spiritual separation the herion addiction that is claiming so many lives now represents the folly of yang impersonating yin chemically manipulating a sensation that contrives an experience of heaven like something demonic disguised as angelic i hate to tell my relatives and my husband that yin has claimed me and my life is devoted to it i ve tried to swim along with the tides of super yang and almost drowned swimming upstream but the good news is that no matter what suffering this heritage causes me i will always in some respect be wearing silk as long as i maintain my innocence i will never abuse another into manipulating themselves or someone else to quell the endless desperation and terror of those who ve forgotten their innate spiritual abundance who have no idea they are wearing silk i would never approach barrleby with an electric prod or any kind of verbal violence or shaming in order to quell my own terror of not being in control of all that threatens discomfort i urge my desperate family and friends to realize that they too are truthfully wearing robes of silk i beg you not to be cheated out of your spiritual inheritance the problem is we have to go through the eye of the needle in order to realize our treasure to give up our earthly wealth to open the chamber in which we discover our true legacy and the more we run from that challenge the harder it is to undertake posted by amarilla at 10 43 am 0 comments monday april 28 2014 hyper yang acceptance every human day requires the practice of acceptance but instead of acceptance most people employ fixes we have every kind of bandaid we strive for any kind of plan to ameliorate any kind of discomfort acceptance sounds so simple but it is the work of the eons we are part of an evolutionary process in which nature whittles form and function into matter what s she doing what is her plan we don t know yet but we can certainly see that a lot has been accomplished because look how much there is to love and nourish us in this world of our human and nonhuman relations not every child is born capable of adequate adaption to the conditions of this world this is so hard to accept i just passed a scene in which a hawk was being chased and attacked by 3 or 4 blue jays and it appeared to have something in its talons perhaps it robbed the jays nest or grabbed one of the bird s mates i don t know i do know that jays themselves are nest robbers and that we humans certainly do this in our own ways terrible vulnerability played out in this scene and many will want to judge the moral stance of the players where does accepting come into this to accept this we have to accept our own vulnerability our own aggression and perhaps some very overwhelming emotions that come along with it like terror anger dread and grief why would one want to do this anyway when one passes through the door of acceptance one is reunited with truth the writing s been on the wall all the time the story of our vulnerability and the inevitability of weakness decline and death the difficult elements of fallibility imperfection ignorance miscalculation ineptness the state of being mismatched to a situation in which we would prefer to be the piece that makes all the parts work together perfectly the number of iatrogenic deaths is a constant reminder of the futility of our hyper yang fantasies thy hyper yang world in denial of our limitations resents us for not being perfectly comforting perfectly providing for not quelling all fears discomforts and inconveniences everyone fails everyone fails in some way to conform to the model of the hero who becomes our hope for lasting well being when we walk through the door of acceptance we can be with ourselves in honesty and be with each other without fear with nothing to hide surrendering to a process much greater than ourselves but we are not totally helpless wisdom sneaks in and guides compassionate action action which often instead of quelling the fears that keep us stuck running in neurotic circles inducts us once again into the actual growth that is only and must be accompanied by considerable discomfort this is the wisdom that inducts us into life and our part in a sublime and infinite process of divine expression in meditation i can imagine spending time allowing myself to become aware of what limitations i am naively denying in hopes of pleasing the complex with the intention of best orienting myself to my true resources this is rehabilitating the yang through the power of yin that is the power of acceptance posted by amarilla at 10 03 am 0 comments tuesday april 1 2014 cyclops morning this morning has me thinking that m...