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ad and i cuddled her and sang her favourite song binky was our first bunny the one that started it all because of her we found fluffy at mississauga animal services and fluffy led us to rabbit rescue inc binky is the reason i am here why i am the person i am today she is the reason why i rescue rabbits why i have become a rabbit advocate why i have found such beauty inspiration and purpose in my life binky is the reason rabbit rescue s bunfest event exists i created it in her honour so that her legacy could reach far and wide to other bunny lovers and their rabbits so we all could have a place to gather learn talk and share our knowledge and love for these most precious of creatures while letting her go was heartbreaking we knew that it would be a joyous day at the rainbow bridge fluffy was waiting for her and i know that the moment binky slipped away from this world she was gone in a flash ecstatic to see her husbun again i know that together they are running through the fields of clover and binkying towards the strawberry patch that is always in season she has perfect vision something she never had in this life no more breathing issues no more pain she is in good hands she had a wonderful life and my husband and i are so grateful for the many years we had with her we will look back and celebrate all of the joy laughter and love she shared but there will always be a binky sized hole in our hearts i guess this is the final chapter in fluffy s blog he is gone but he now has his beautiful miss binks by his side once again she is grooming his ears and he is giving her eyeball washes just like the old days it is incredible when i think back to the many years we shared together as a family my heart is so very heavy with sadness right now i feel as though an entire part of my life is over there are no words to adequately describe the impact binky and fluffy have had in my and my husband s life we are such better people today because of them because of their love and their guidance their pureness and vitality their honesty and beauty our hearts have been stretched open in ways we never knew possible and we will be forever grateful to them both for filling our lives with such incredible joy i know in time once our hearts have had a chance to heal that we will continue to rescue rabbits and welcome new friends into our family that is what binky and fluffy would want and i can think of no better way to celebrate their lives than by saving another 3 comments thursday may 28 2015 rest in peace my big tough lop i m sorry it s taken me some time to get this update on fluffy s blog and even now when i think i m ready i m kinda not but then again will i ever be please bear with me this post will be as long as it needs to be fluffy left this world on tuesday april 14th 2015 at 10 45 am as per his last post his health was declining and his mobility hit an all time low severe arthritis robbed him of 90 of his mobility and walking became next to impossible my husband and i had been hovering over him during this part of his life always trying to read in fluffy s face what he truly wanted i made the same promise to him as i make to all my pets if the time should come where you are no longer happy give me a sign and i will help you along in your journey i don t want you to be here a day longer than you want to be but as hopeful and strong as we all intend to be when you are facing the last stage of an animal s life especially one that you love so tremendously it can be hard to read the signals i had done much research on how to care for a bunny in fluffy s state using diapers to keep him clean butt baths massages exercise and pain relief i was prepared to do whatever it took to make this part of his life as enjoyable as possible but there was one problem fluffy would have nothing of it in order for me to care for him i needed him to understand that he needed to be still to rest his weary body and let me take care of him no matter how many beds i made pillow set ups i created to help him maintain an upright and comfortable position how many exercises i tried to do to keep him as nimble and flexible as possible he fought me every thump of the way he would scramble from any place i put him and usually ended up rolling and kicking and not being able to right himself the few hops he could manage would result in him barreling over towards binky because he knew he would end up crashing and his beloved miss binks would be there to break his fall oh sweet miss binks i would tuck him in at night knowing he was fed and clean and next to his girl but half way through the night when i would go to check on him i would find him somewhere else sprawled in a most uncomfortable position unable to move and when i picked him up he would lick me so very graciously in gratitude and snuggle in my arms who was this snuggle bunny there was a lot of licking during those last few weeks he seemed to only find comfort when he was in our arms or up on the couch atop his stupid blankets which he continued to battle with to the very end i think that was the only sort of happiness he could find shredding those stupid blankets other than cuddling with his 1 girl i knew what he was saying to me mom this isn t what i want i don t want to sit still never have never will i hate this body of mine and i want to go it s time my life has been amazing but now my life needs to continue elsewhere you weigh the pros and the cons every day every hour every minute is this a good day or a bad one a good afternoon but a bad evening how do i let go of him and what about binky how do i take fluffy away from her she will be devastated the day before he left he had a check up with dr deb he was down to 93 kg 2 pounds from 1 18 2 6 lbs two weeks previously this was obviously due to him not being able to maintain any muscle mass and his body starting to atrophy there was nothing we could do that evening my husband and i cuddled extra long with him while fluffy was always my little man he seemed to favour his dad that night crawling over to him to rest and lick him my husband had been out of work during this time and cared for fluffy during the day while i was at work he and fluffy had bonded closely and it was beautiful to see him showing such gratitude towards him my husband and i knew that the time was near we had fluffy scheduled for a check up on the upcoming saturday and between the two of us we silently knew that that day would be the day but of course the big tough lop had his own plans the next morning as my husband and i were with him i heard him breathing funny i knew that rabbits in his state often had breathing issues due to extra pressure being placed on the lungs as a result of laying on their sides for extended periods of time here was my big tough lop struggling to breathe i look at my husband and said this is the sign it s time i called dr deb and she told us to come right in we packed up miss binks in the carrier and i had fluffy wrapped up in my arms and held him the entire drive to the clinic when we got there we were taken to the quiet room and i laid out a blanket on the couch and put fluffy and miss binks together she sat over him while he lay on the blanket and norm and i gave him kisses and pets i told him that this was the day he gets everything back i said through my tears fluffy you re going to fall asleep and when you wake up you are going to be young again we re going to set you free you will be able to run and jump and binky and these stupid legs of yours aren t going to hold you back any more no more pain no more cloudy eyes no more falling over you are going to be so happy dr deb came in and gave him a needle to make him sleepy it s okay fluffy you can go you ve had a beautiful and wonderful life thank you fluffy my little man my big tough lop we will be okay don t you worry we will take care of miss binks for you and one day she will come to be with you too one day we will all be together again once he was sufficiently sleepy dr deb took him out of the room to shave his leg and insert the i v for the other needle she brought him back and we placed him back beside binky we whispered our love for him in his ear stroked him kissed him and cried for him then my husband and i sang his song he s a fluffy man he s a fluffy man he s a fluffy fluffy man when we were ready dr deb took the last needle and gave him the injection and in a matter of seconds she felt for his heartbeat but it was gone my beautiful funny crazy delightful little man was gone we were left alone with him all we could do was pet him and cry he was so small once his spirit left his body he really was just a shell binky remained stoic i ll never forget the look on her face such pure sadness but also strength it was then that i knew she knew this day was coming she knew exactly what was going on and what had happened her husbun of over 10 years was gone and she was now alone she bent her head down towards his and groomed him she didn t try to nudge him she didn t wait for him to reciprocate she did not expect acknowledgement she knew and our hearts broke a thousand times more and when she was done she sat in silence staring off into space now our main concern was binky how would she handle this loss would she be depressed would she stop eating would she look for him or would she simply carry on unaffected as some animals do we prayed that she would be able to be happy without him that she could find the strength to live the rest of her time without her precious husbun by her side that night for the first time in over 10 years binky slept alone over the next few days her appetite did wane but she still nibbled on her pellets and hay and picked at her greens i think for her there was so much enjoyment in eating with fluffy she would hear him munching on something and would immediately appear by his side and sniff his mouth or by his feet to see what it was 9 times out of ten she would steal whatever food he was eating and fluffy never once seemed to mind but now the thrill was gone no one ran to the salad plate with her when dinner was announced hearing those breakfast pellets tinkle into the bowl every morning failed to excite and even the freshest handfuls of hay went untouched the family room seemed very quiet now not that it was loud before because bunnies don t really make loud noises but there was a definite silence in the air fluffy s personality had been so huge and uncompromising that once he was gone it was like the volume had been turned off no little bunny running to greet you to nose bonk you for treats tossing rattles digging in blankets or thumping his displeasure but slowly binky did adjust to this new phase of her life she found immediate comfort with blue a stuffed bunny that my husband bought them for easter before long she was snuggling with him snoozing beside him and grooming him while this brought comfort to us as well there is no doubt that our hearts were broken to see that she longed for fluffy s affection and that no matter how many kisses she gave blue he would never be able to give any back but she seemed okay with this bit by bit she ate more fell back into her familiar routine and her diva personality slowly returned binky has always been a daddy s girl she hasn t kissed me in over 10 years but she smooches her daddy on a regular basis and i m totally fine with it but after fluffy left her kisses stopped my husband would hold her in the familiar position and ask her for kisses but none would come it wasn t until 3 weeks after fluffy s passing that one evening cuddling with her dada she once again graced his nose with licks of her soft little tongue that was a real turning point for her and for us knowing that she was able and willing to share love again stitched our hearts back together just a bit and gave us the glimmer of hope that we needed that she would be okay this journey has been long and difficult and it still continues but it has been an unforgettable process that i was blessed to have experienced end of life care is such an emotional time with much questioning second guessing reflection sadness and even joy you say goodbye in bits and pieces never really knowing when the final farewell will be said but as hard as it is to watch a loved one reach their end it is a precious time that is both a blessing and a privilege fluffy s final months weeks and days were his to live and i was honoured to help him live through this time with comfort dignity and as much happiness as possible in the end his tired little body could not keep up with his boisterous personality and he refused to confine his spirit in any way leaving this world was his wish i feel very lucky to have been blessed with the ability to listen to my pets i mean really hear their words their desires and what they feel deep within their hearts it was my job to set him free free to continue his life unhindered by the earthly weights of age health and time he did not leave this earth a day too soon or a day too late it was the exact date that it was supposed to be and i am so grateful to know this for certain in my heart and in my mind i know other things too i know that binky was worried about him i know that she knew he was sick and i am certain that they had even discussed this inevitable outcome on many occasions i believe that while his passing was very hard for her she found some relief in knowing that he was no longer suffering that he was at peace and that she would see him again one day i know that i myself was blessed to have found fluffy at mississauga animal services to have welcomed him home and spent the next decade waiting on him and binky hand and foot serving him the love devotion security and companionship he deserved there was nothing my husband and i wouldn t have done for him and that big tough lop rewarded us with endless laughter immeasurable joy and the sweetest of love the kind of love that only a bunny can give i am grateful for this blog so that i can look back and read all about his silly antics his bunny misadventures like when he hopped in the paint tray found the yarmulke under the stairs or ran away from home with me in hot pursuit what an incredibly funny amazing loving and animated little man he was if you are still reading this i thank you i had no intention for this post to be this long but i promised myself i would write it all out however long it took this post was actually written in bits and pieces over a period of three days simply because i had to stop here and there to let out more emotion to cry a little bit more and take some breaths it s been very therapeutic for me and i hope it has offered some closure and reflection for all of you who have followed him over the span of his life his peeps he loved you all so very much and i thank you for all of the love and support you have sent over the years i will wrap this up with my favourite video of binky and fluffy...