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Text of the page (random words):
cad monkey in the cubicle jungle cad monkey in the cubicle jungle i am was an architect now i don t know what i will be wednesday october 19 2011 and we re back germany was awesome unfortunately we couldn t find work and didn t have the time or money left to stay so we re back in the us this means i m back in the same situation i was in before clueless as to what to do for money oh but wait there s a twist now my architect s license has expired so i m even more unemployable in the field than i was before i knowingly let it expire because i couldn t justify the 300 to renew it when there s little chance i ll get a job using it i managed to make it to the age of 36 without ever being fired or laid off so this has taken a major toll on my self esteem the longer this drags on the less confident i am in my ability to do anything even though i was in a field i absolutely hated i am desperate to go back because i feel like a complete loser being unemployed it s a little too similar to an abusive relationship except that with a relationship remaining single is always an option remaining unemployed is not no i m not trivializing abusive relationships i m just bad at crafting decent analogies as always art is not a career option because i like having health insurance and money posted by cad monkey at 7 05 am 1 comment monday may 16 2011 not what i expected i got laid off from my last architectural job in april of 2010 although i hate the sentiment everything happens for a reason on a molecular level i believe that having the decision made for me in this case was a really good thing given the choice between continuing on in a career field i hated to the point of physical illness just to maintain a steady paycheck and some illusion of security or venturing into the great unknown i would have chosen the paycheck i was let go 2 weeks before a planned major surgery that would leave me unable to work for 6 weeks when i was ready to start looking for a job again i realized i had become permanently unemployable in the architecture field i mean who wants to hire someone who hasn t worked for 2 months such a person is obviously not a good choice if nobody picked them up for 2 months sarcasm meter set to kill i managed to obtain one interview for a project manager position and put on my best though completely false i d really love to work here face but they must have seen right through it applying for positions below my experience level have proven pointless this summer on my birthday my architect s license will expire and i have no intention of renewing it you might think from reading this that i am completely depressed and hopeless but i assure you that is the farthest thing from the truth in two months my husband and i are moving to europe i can honestly say i have no idea what we ll do for money past the 90 days worth we have saved i can t wait d posted by cad monkey at 10 53 am 3 comments tuesday july 21 2009 what do you do that question i hate that question how i pay my bills does not define me much as i wish it could what do i do why i am a cerebral prostitute i whore out my brain for money m f 8 5 while my brain is otherwise occupied performing tasks that slowly strangle it in a gray shroud of boredom my body is forfeit as it is forced to sit in a chair during that time getting fatter slower more useless a month ago i started metformin because at age 35 i have insulin resistance despite the fact that i sit all day i am exhausted beyond measure this body is a carcass transporting the golden whore brain to and fro rather than a living thing my hands shake constantly i can t even remember the last time i felt right i am on the last resort antidepressant an mao inhibitor it comes in patch form and every morning i rip off the patch and a good portion of my skin to replace it with a new one for the last several months while i ve been away i made the mistake of listening to the slew of follow your bliss bullshit artists whose line is do what you love and the money will come bullshit bullshit bullshit by all rights i should have gone even more insane from the stink of it if i had in my possession the physical amount of bullshit i ve wasted my time reading money would no longer be a problem you know how they ve managed to follow their bliss and the money came they sold volumes of fix your life fallacy to suckers like me who are searching for a little bit of hope i am that idiot who bought into the get a real job be a grownup ignore every true thing about yourself line believing that being an artist would be the impossible way now i will drag myself onward waiting to die always regretting having lived posted by cad monkey at 5 43 am 5 comments labels bullshit cerebral prostitute tuesday august 05 2008 argh trying to fix template not working liking wordpress better all the time posted by cad monkey at 11 40 am 3 comments monday august 04 2008 always a bad sign it s always a bad sign when i start blogging at the office i made the mistake and watched a program about alzheimer s disease the show and it being sunday night in general got me started on a pretty heavy doom spiral some days i feel like i m just biding my time until i find out what is going to kill me the leading contender is stress being overweight not eating right and the resultant heart disease from how my gi tract has been acting cancer of the pooper seems a likely second contender of course that could just be related to the stress as well third we have the whole vast list of unknowns alzheimer s early onset is the one i m concerned about cancer of various regions etc etc i m doing my damndest to try and squeeze some joy out of this life but monday mornings just make it difficult one good night of sleep just ain t doing it for me that would be saturday night since i m still too drunk jacked up from work to sleep on friday night and sunday is well the day before monday posted by cad monkey at 5 54 am no comments wednesday july 30 2008 well crap on a stick things are just not going well today the server at work has crashed permanently i find it somewhat ironic that a similar situation caused me to start this blog 4 years ago the server at work blew up posted by cad monkey at 5 50 am no comments dammit i was trying to get rid of the damn adsense bar and screwed up my template in the process this place will look like ass for a little while until i can find my old template code and fix it if i can find my old template code if not a remodel will be in the works posted by cad monkey at 5 21 am no comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me cad monkey view my complete profile blog archive 2011 2 october 1 and we re back may 1 2009 1 july 1 2008 12 august 2 july 9 may 1 2006 50 july 4 june 5 may 13 april 8 march 8 february 9 january 3 2005 118 december 6 november 8 october 11 september 17 august 17 july 15 june 6 may 3 april 4 march 8 february 11 january 12 2004 103 december 16 november 21 october 23 september 13 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