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and other ideas and thoughts and other ideas and thoughts i had to do something it s hard to describe what isn t but i have high hopes for now thoughts and ideas on parenting step parenting marriage divorce adoption death and whatever else i think i may have constructive commentary on if you have some commentary or thoughts of your own please feel free to share sunday the one that adopted me not the biological one it s so difficult dealing with my mother the one that adopted me not the biological one the biological mother i have is far less upsetting than the adoptive mother in my case i am disappointed by both but because of my ongoing day to day familial connection to my adoptive mother she s the one that hurts me almost daily and it s not getting any better it s worse i continue to work to protect myself from both women think about my physical and mental health as stress and emotional abuse can be harmful it s never ending the self talk oh i feel so guilty wait you ve done nothing to feel guilty about just stop it you re being manipulated by a person without real feelings or empathy you are absolved of worrying about her feelings because she has none it s wasted energy pain for nothing it s a cycle of abuse and you re being abused emotionally by this person you can only control your reaction to it alright i feel a little better but oh i wish i could have a nicer relationship with my mom i feel so bad that she s alone and sad we should be able to have fun now and then get along maybe if i said this or that did this or that aw come on you know nothing will change no matter what you do you ve already done everything you can and still do plenty nothing is enough for her she sucks the life out of people you have nothing to regret or feel bad about because you ve been dedicated for years for forever really she s alone because of her not because of you you ve done all you can do and been there for her more than anyone else in her life there that always feels better big breath in big breath out start over don t be affected you can do this people are never emotionally separate from their parents whether they re amazing or crap whether they re present or invisible whether they stay connected to them or shut them out if you re fortunate enough to be a parent to someone be your best be what your son or daughter needs if you can t put your child ahead of yourself don t bother becoming a parent if you are the sort to decide to parent even though you re a selfish narcissistic sociopath you won t listen to me anyway of this i am certain shame posted by campbell at 6 11 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday still coping with a difficult aging parent still sane i think i m taking a break well a physical break from tending to my mom today mentally it s tough to completely turn off when acting as caregiver to a parent who may or may not be capable of living independently but that s the plan actually it s a test in a way to see if my mom can manage on her own today without me or other family being physically present it s been months since that s happened oh i ll be close by just in case and if we are successful i ll venture a little further away tomorrow i m worn down that s a fact it s been a long stretch of daily contact with my mother a long stretch of focusing on staying as patient as possible working hard not to take my mom s mistreatment and distrust of me personally while existing in what feels like a constant state of demands and crisis a task that s tough for someone who is sensitive to others moods and negativity i can be a little thin skinned at times i know it nothing wrong with that but it s true it s me it s also what likely keeps me devoted to my mom s health and safety dedicated to doing what i can to help her enjoy as much quality of life as is possible despite her in sitting about this morning working on reviving my brain and self my soul i peeked in on my blog here and got the urge to write a bit i can t believe my post are you coping with a difficult aging parent how do you stay sane is 5 years old already hopefully it s helped one or two people as it s helped me today helped me to remember to try to not let my difficult parent turn me into the kind of person who is a complete drag to be around yesterday i ran out of words and thoughts by the end of the day i was numb blank brained over it toast tout fini after facing a minor conflict with my husband after a long day helping my mother i walked into our bedroom in the broad daylight crawled into our bed and zoned out it s not like me to resist engaging when i m feeling wronged see above but i was actually incapable of uttering one more word summoning up one more ounce of energy to engage that s kinda big i am so grateful my husband eventually reached out to soften his behavior and acknowledge my stress bringing much relief and rejuvenation so grateful i feel better today have so far only had minimal phone contact with my mother and will keep it that way if at all possible i will work hard to stay healthy and try to look after myself better through this lastly amazingly i m still sane i think posted by campbell at 9 36 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday enjoyed reading through this blog we re indian american with adopted white children and here s what people ask us posted by campbell at 6 39 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels adoption adoptive parent wednesday calcutta is my mother documentary the film calcutta is my mother will document adopted person reshma s first return to calcutta as she explores her roots and the life she could have had had she survived in india visit the kickstarter page for calcutta is my mother to learn more about this story posted by campbell at 7 37 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels abandonment adoptee adoption biological background calcutta documentary kickstarter tuesday childmyths an observable problem for adopted children and wh childmyths an observable problem for adopted children and wh periodically i receive complaints and vituperation from readers who insist that any emotional discomfort they feel as adoptees is eviden posted by campbell at 4 26 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday babycenter finds ppd moms don t seek help due to guilt shame http www postpartumprogress com babycenter finds 40 ppd moms dont seek help due guilt shame posted by campbell at 4 09 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels depression guilt mommy myths parenting postpartum depression pride shame sunday the hidden power of siblings jeff kluger at tedxasheville posted by campbell at 4 46 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me campbell it s all here view my complete profile subscribe to posts atom posts all comments atom all comments popular or unpopular posts are you coping with a difficult aging parent how do you stay sane for mothers who have lost a child an invitation to share if someone says they know a happy adoptee it s likely because they do adoptees wanting to control the adoptee narrative deal with it adoptees using dna to find family my review followers networkedblogs blog and other ideas and thoughts topics adoption reunion parenting life death follow my blog facebook badge campbell s scoop create your badge blog archive 2018 1 august 1 the one that adopted me not the biological one 2017 2 august 1 june 1 2015 2 march 2 2014 5 november 1 october 2 july 1 june 1 2013 7 july 1 june 2 may 1 march 2 february 1 2012 20 november 2 september 3 august 1 june 2 may 3 april 2 march 2 february 2 january 3 2011 51 december 2 november 4 october 4 september 2 august 4 july 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