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u and says i want to raise an animal its not cheap by any means samantha works to pay for everything its a lot of time but it is so rewarding it is a whole lot of wholesome family fun just remember it is their project not yours and don t get attached even though i know i am and i am going to miss her when she is gone but there is always next year posted by carla at 9 10 pm no comments sunday november 4 2012 the hardest layout i have ever made finally easing back into it hating knowing my scrapping buddy is gone only took me a week to cut 4 pieces of paper ink and pick some letters not my best but in so many ways my hardest layout i have ever made in the 7 years i have been doing this some people are insensitive about it because in reality it is just a dog some people have the nerve to tell you that dogs do not go to heaven i don t know about anyone else but in my world dogs go to heaven and i have one waiting for me some people some times just do not understand i have never lost a child and i can t imagine the pain associated with losing a child for everyone involved but i do know the pain of losing a dog who in all reality was one of my children i took cosmo home when he was 9 months old after his first family couldn t keep him he came home for the weekend so he wouldn t have to stay at the clinic i was working at alone and well he never went back my girls were 6 5 and 3 he was my boy i called him son a lot in the last two months of cosmo s life i took a ton of photos i mean a ton so many more than i took his entire life the only day that i did not take photos was his last day i did not want that memory on disk or photo paper i have plenty of mental pictures that i wish i didn t have to have but i do and even with all the pain deep down i cherish the time that we had with him that day how the vets office wasn t pushy or rushing us i have no idea when this was taken but this was him happy go lucky with anything and i mean anything that didn t involve putting clothes on him he was already ready to go anywhere we went even if he only rode with daddy around the cul de sac with daddy when he moved his truck he understood my every mood he knew when i needed him the most when i was sick and needed to cuddle i believe he understood the words that came out of my mouth no matter what i said we were just that connected i knew when he didn t feel good either and what he wanted this is absolutely my most favorite photo of cosmo he didn t feel good we were in for a 2nd opinion he was dehydrated and his meds were off and needed to be adjusted but this was his first good day in a few weeks we changed his meds gave him fluids and got him back up and going and like i thought it would happen he started fighting me on the meds so i learned to crush them all and put them in water he got them in a syringe then these looks started when he saw me coming with his meds in 2 syringes he hated it and honestly i hated it too i was juggling a total of 7 meds and their schedule during this time cosmo went off of his food he was always a picky eater and he would nibble through out the day but he just quit eating and i took the he can have whatever he wants to eat stance cosmo ate a lot of boiled chicken noodles and a veggie once i stopped trying to get him to eat dog food august 18th facebook post having an elderly dog is almost like having a toddler you have to use the mommy voice to get them to take their medication without too much of a fight you have to make their plate and you have to make them listen to you about why you are doing all the things you are doing the only difference is i can t remember telling my girls to give me the sign when they were ready to stop trying and were ready to go august 21st facebook post medicating the dog one syringe of crushed meds in water ehhh so what hurry up and get it over with two syringes with meds who are you lady just give me food keep that cough syrup away from me it s very entertaining around here i really think he would give up the food if he didn t have to take the cough syrup from there it was down hill very slowly there were no more good days there was getting by days the morning of september 18th when i was getting ready for work i knew it was the time i talked to him before i left for work i told him that i would miss him with all my heart and that i would be okay if he was ready to go it was a horrible day i came home and he was still with us but he was pretty bad off robbie came home shortly after me and without getting into details he finally came to the same realization that i was at and we got our stuff and went to the vet s office it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest my first son my baby and my best friend was gone and i had to make the decision that was the best thing for him in the end and it was so gut wrenching for us september 28th facebook post we picked cosmo up from the vet today i never imagined i would be carrying my dog out in a gift bag they sent him in a beautiful wooden urn and paper work with the wrong owner and last name they used samantha s info so i know its really him i always knew i would have him cremated he will go with me when i die and am buried cosmo always slept on my left side if he wasn t there he was by robbie s legs so on my left side one week ago i added so going back to my layout cosmo s bed is under my scrapbook table if i was at the table he was always in the bed and that was the only time he went to that bed i hadn t sat at that table for more than a few minutes at a time in a month and a half i printed off some photos of samantha and her lamb i sat down picked out paper and walked away came back and cut and inked the paper a day later and walked away for 4 days i am not a walk away kind of girl but i just couldn t handle sitting there much longer thursday i decided it was time to glue things down and journal it took me an hour an hour to glue down my papers add the photo put down three embellishments and journal after it was over and i am sitting there staring at the layout i just cried the ugly cry move the layout out of the way because snot is dripping kind of cry i still look for him and i miss the sound of his paws on the carpet because he is the only dog that we have that could make a sound which is amazing because he was the smallest and the lightest i miss him as much today as i did the first few days after we put him down i do not think that i am ready to sit at that table on a regular basis and get back to scrapping so at this point its only the beginning and it will be a slow healing process posted by carla at 12 04 am no comments monday august 13 2012 july august catch up part 3 sketch 306 at scrapbook challenges can be found here the great pumpkin fun run samantha last year at the 5k race she ran cardstock purple and leapfrog bazzill pp echo park happy halloween jack o lantern karen foster spooktaclar purple ghost and making memories dem bones embellishments bakers twine basic grey bling pumpkin and distress ink in black soot letters october afternoon i had a 2 week up check up on august 3rd from my surgery so another day spent out of town and the beginning of a very busy weekend we took my mom to see cirque du soleil on saturday august 4th she loved it our seats were great but i have a feeling that all the seats were great i think all of it was her favorite my favorite was the guys on the wheels of death courtesy of twin cities daily planet sunday august 5th we went to college station to see amber and kyle they just moved into their apartment and i got to see their new bundle of joy victor all was going well with cosmo we had a recheck on monday august 6th and yes he was in kidney failure but the new blood work showed that it was still no where near what clinic 1 said it was so we were going along doing what we had to do and all was well deception i tell you deception when i left for work on wednesday august 8th cosmo was normal normal i come home and he is breathing fast and shallow i give him his meds and wait it was a rough night yes there are emergency clinics but there is no way that i can afford the emergency clinics since we are on the dave ramsey plan and cosmo has already cost us the majority of our emergency fund so thursday morning cosmo went back to the vet and this is the picture that samantha sent to me of him in the oxygen cage he was home thursday night apparently he can t come off of one of his meds and he had too much play time with betty the sheep betty and betha the other girlfriend is now put up wish us luck sketch 307 is now up at scrapbook challenges and can be found here she s my ride this is my bike her name is betty no relation to cosmo s betty that he enjoy s playtime with the girls named her not my choice and they say it like a sheep would bah so its not so bad my betty is named after my grandma who was strong she was the backbone of the family and she kept everyone going i plan on riding the ms 150 next year the lone star ms 150 is a 150 mile bike ride from houston to austin that benefits muscular sclerosis i am going to ride for a friends partner she has agreed to sign my bandana yes i know i am overweight i am so out of shape it isn t funny i have a bad back i am 40 and haven t done anything that required athletic skills since high school there is a long list of excuses that i can come up with its time to stop the excuses and do something if i don t i will always be as i am now overweight out of shape bad back 40 and lazy in the words of ashley sullenger i can do hard things my hard thing pales in comparison as hers but i know i can do this i have to do this for me i have to do this to help others this will be the hardest thing i have ever done but i am determined to do it i will be updating as we go along and i start training i have an appointment for my steroid shot in my back so see i have already started cardstock white and silver bazzill bling pp sei bridgeport pavillion scenic route laurel baywood lane and studio calico classis calico numerical embellishments making memories defined deja views vellum saying maya road chipboard arrow acrylic paint frosted lace stickles mme nostalgia brad pink paislee prairie hill button die cut butterflies tattered angels glimmer mist seven seas kaisercraft droplets tim holtz ink in black soot glossy accents and a silver zig pen letters autumn leaves and doodlebug rub on letters jilliebean soup letters and thickers in lullaby posted by carla at 6 00 am no comments sunday august 12 2012 july catch up part 2 this is sketch 304 for scrapbook challenges and can be found here thanksgiving dinner last year for thanksgiving i decided that since we weren t all going to be home to eat that we were going to luby s no cooking and no clean up awesome yes i felt guilty for not cooking afterwards and i missed the leftovers too i used the july 2012 nostalgic kit found here i added bling leaves and circle embellie metallic ribbon and brads from my stash the letters are carolee s tiny chocolate and thickers shortly after the eye my oldest dog had to go to the vet for coughing i was told he had congestive heart failure i came home with three medications for him two were heart medications and the other was a diuretic he responded well and started gaining weight so i went ahead with my vacation he went to stay with his aunt simona while newman and toots e went to aunt tana s i didn t think anything about it my vacation consisted of a planned surgery so no real vacation for me i came back a week later to a dog who had lost weight and just didn t look right now i only leave my children with people that i trust and i trust simona with my entire heart she like me is a vet tech she would never do anything to hurt my dog just like i would never do anything to slinky which is her dachshund that i watch when she goes on vacation taken when we left the vet over the next week cosmo got continually worse to the point that i knew deep down that he was in kidney failure so back to the vet he went it was kidney failure that he was in and the picture that was painted for me was a bleak one i asked for fluids for him and was going to bring him home so everyone could spend some time with him to say goodbye you could look at him and see that he did not feel good at all i was getting the look from his as well the next morning i didn t want to get out of bed because i knew what i had to do that day and i wasn t looking forward to it at all finally i drug myself out of bed 15 minutes before i was supposed to leave for work and he was up i mean up he jumped from the bed and ran the long way through the living room to the back door went potty and was ready to be let back in he was back to his almost normal self i was like what the so i did what any mommy would do we went for a 2nd opinion this was him at the vet for his 2nd opinion he wanted to play with the other dogs so we get in the room i gave the history and the meds he was on they ran blood work and 3 other things it came back almost completely different from the 1st clinic i was peeved by this time i almost put my dog down because they were wrong i am seriously leaning to they got him mixed up they almost had to because the kidney values do not change that much over night and with a 100cc of fluids so we got a new plan dropped some meds and picked up new ones and had an appointment for a re check in a week by this time it was time for sketch 305 from scrapbook challenges found here hitting the slopes cardstock vanilla cream by bazzill pp making memories animal crackers jack ric rac scenic route from my stash embellisments snowflakes cut from diamond bazzill bling felt snowflakes bling and its sew cute snowflakes maya road tag distress ink in black soot letters october afternoon letters in kraft and thickers in sprinkles posted by carla at 6 00 am no comments saturday august 11 2012 playing catch up warning this will be a lengthy post for me so grab a beverage and get comfy july in a nutshell was crazy for me absolutely crazy it all started out normal happy and fun and then july 10th hit and it was all downhill from there samantha my youngest works in a veterinary clinic and she was bit in the face the dog was a repeat offender and the owner did not let them know that he was a biter he got her left eyebrow eyelid and in front of her ear after getting the phone call i thought i would never get carla yes this is we are taking samantha to the emergency room she got bit where meaning where was she bit and which emergency room they were going to since the clinic is in between both of the ones available followed by how bad and then silence from the girl on the phone for what seemed an eternity finally they came back with which one and i told her i was on my way now i work in a call center with 10 other women in the room i stood up and said out loud samantha was bit and is going to the er i am leaving turned off my screen grabbed my purse and ran ...