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page even though this restaurant serves 37 double macallans on the rocks for every one of these well explained cocktails the key here is to hand the guest a cocktail menu before a wine menu or even water it is uncivilized to peruse a diner menu without a cocktail at least have a vermouth are you a monster this menu wins awards but only allows the guest to make decisions at the rate of 1 per 20 minutes this menu will often be divided by drink family or by inspiration a great way for the guest to tell the truth to one s self everyone loves a refreshing sour the margarita will always be your queen however wise bars will understand that not everyone wants to research they might make a smaller greatest hits menu for this that don t have the piety for worshiping a cocktail bible this is the miranda july menu it has 4 choices all of equal whimsy with only 12 seats in a tiny bistro you have plenty of time to discuss with the bartender i feel like more bars should just say cocktail sour highball or other going over all of these options and filtering them through my carved in stone belief that a bar should brand all of their menu or none of it i actually prefer the first cocktail listed with a conversation but i like to create a trust tree and i normally worked in places of talking and info taining was desirable but again who is you menu for and who are you posted in cocktails 2 comments the batida a recipe for the original fat washed cocktail posted on 05 06 2015 by caskstrength the batida what is is an how do you make it here is a basic recipe and a complex fancy recipe too brazil does indeed have a cocktail other than the caipirinha i know it seems downright rude to have a second cocktail i bet you re thinking they already have the caipirinha i just barely know how to say that why are they making another god damn cocktail and here that country wants you to learn how to say this one too it s pronounced bah chee da historically you ll find that many countries actually have more than one cocktail it s true just look at italy they have the negroni and the americano a bunch of go getters in that country i ll tell you what the batida is just cachaça mixed with fruit juice most commonly you will see a batida mixed with coconut milk and other fruit juice over crushed ice in the uk as 10 year old difford s guides affirm they drink a batida blended with coconut milk and sweetened with condensed milk the actual word batida itself means shaken in portuguese and with that in mind i think the most balanced way to make this cocktail is over crushed ice using a blender is more complex and we basically have a generation right now that has rebelled against the blender the youngsters these days don t know how to balance cocktails or use ice correctly in a blender but they should practice the old throw a straw in the blender and pour the drink into a glass wall the straw stands upright just do whatever tom cruise taught me how to do that i will come back to the ins and outs of how to make blended drinks at some later point maybe the next time i have to do a guest bartending shift and i have admit that my guns can t handle the heat anymore and i ll just do everything blended but for now let s just talk about how we make this crushed ice batida the mason jar craze will end when you fuckers stop stealing more expensive glasses the one pictured here is 1 5 oz novo fogo tanager zebra wood finished 1 oz unsweetened coconut milk 1 oz bg reynolds passionfruit syrup 1 5 oz lime juice 5 oz ancho reyes pinch of chili flakes and salt combine all ingredients in a shaker with cubed ice shake and strain over crushed ice the unnecessary mint garnish is indeed unnecessary it mostly just looks good in this photo i think it would be a lot cooler to use lime sprinkled with chili flakes or sal de gusano how sweet is sweetened coconut milk i don t fucking know how consistent is it from brand to brand please see my previous answer sugar is cheap and a so are sweet ingredients use drier ingredients and liqueurs that you sweeten to taste is this a principle that you should use for every ingredient in a cocktail yes fresh unsweetened passionfruit juice is almost as acidic as lemon juice passionfruit purée sweetened by 10 is acidic enough to be quite uncomfortable in your mouth passionfruit juice you buy in a can out outside of hawaii is similar to cranberry juice in that it is mostly sugar and water if using that then you likely won t need sugar in a cocktail but if you buy passionfruit syrup you can use it to make many classic tiki drinks many classic tiki parties and it will hold for a while in the fridge ancho reyes is quickly becoming my favorite cheater ingredient it is not because it is spicy i skipped spicy drinks a few years back it is not because it is trendy that is hard for me as well it is because it gives an earthy toasted flavor that adds depth maturity character to everything i have been using it like bitters to give pedestrian flavors a foundation or ground them a dash turns a cocktail from michael bublé to early years tom waits crush ice using a mallet and good old fashioned lewis bag for sentimental reasons i use the bag that my mother made me 10 years ago and the mallet that my father gave me 20years ago but that oneis unavailable to you so i would recommend using a bull in china bag the batida co cktail breaks traditional templates in more than one way unsweetened coconut milk has a lot of fat in it as well as natural acids i find that it takes a little extra sugar to counteract the coconut milk if you were making a more traditional batita consider how much acid the juice also brings into the drink i think the most basic balance should be grated nutmeg is the universal donor of over ice garnishes a possible batida template 1 5 oz cachaça 1 oz unsweetened coconut milk 5 oz lime juice 75 oz simple syrup with that basic template decide if your juice is replacing the acid in lime or adding to the sweetness in the simple syrup generally speaking i would avoid using more subtle liqueurs in a cocktail like this as doing so is generally more like blending a one dollar bill into a cocktail instead of adding flavor and if you do a google image search for batida cocktail you ll see awful awful cocktails so please please make your own batida and post the images online to drown out the garbage that is already there behind the scenes posted in cocktails leave a comment a rebuttal to the seattle weekly posted on 04 28 2015 by caskstrength i recently saw this post from the seattle weekly about the cost of craft cocktails in washington here is my response click bait dear bar code before i sincerely ask you to go fuck yourself with a broken chihuly sculpture i would like to take a minute to agree with you craft cocktails are too expensive when they aren t worth it i understand and agree with your point for the past 5ish years it has basically been my job to drink 15 dollar cocktails smallest violin sonata in the key of fuck off and i agree a lot of these people are robbing you but not maliciously they are robbing you by lack of skill unreal expectations on liquor s value having the highest liquor taxes in america skill most any spirit bereft of the stylings that make it a cocktail would sell for 7 12 just as components what a consumer pays for is the hopefully expert assembly of those ingredients even a derelict alcoholic would agree that the poor assembly thoughtless flavors or lack of balance would ruin these ingredients this happens a lot i sometimes want to scream after my first sip no one has ever finished this cocktail you are just trying to be clever and you are not problematically this is a post spending 15 revelation however when the inverse occurs a bartender serves up their craft for nothing but a foolish desire to do things the hard way how can you tell which twisty mustache is true to craft and which is someone that just wants to sleep in and chug fernet at night well it costs 15 to find out expectations america has unrealistic expectations on what alcohol is worth and we do so because we compare the scalability of goliath to david s desire to hire a second employee consumers we are told want small handcrafted micro nano local grain to glass booze these days we read every week that those are better well at least they are more costly conversely a 15 bottle of vodka is about 80 taxes shipping and should really make you think twice about how they got the product so cheap i want to be clear zero are the fucks i give about micro distillers i care about good and bad integrity and shortcuts i support quality and care from david and from goliath from what they respectively have to offer taxes washington state also has the lovely benefit of having the highest liquor taxes in america without getting into whose fault that is or what the trade offs of privatization are this is the hand dealt to barfolk in washington and until consumers lobby against these taxes that hurt business large and small or decide that washingtonians should pay income tax political herpes these taxes give us the highest liquor cost in america yet we have far from the highest cocktail prices bar code you should rip on craft cocktail culture the very idea that craft is a modifier to cocktail culture is sad by the same wordplay i go to a craft doctor because she is good at her job i often wish i had been critiqued more when i was a bartender it would have made me better but price is not the issue here as always it is value for the past decade the media has done quite well to cover the cocktail renaissance and i have personally benefited from this coverage on multiple occasions i am looking forward to coverage actually giving way to critiques as not shaking a manhattan ceases to be impressive and the boulevardier becomes de rigueur i am legitimately looking forward to reading a column in a weekly that has a sentence like the menu has a handful of stirred amaro drinks that use bitterness as a crutch or the aperol sour was so 2010 and it separated quickly seriously don t we all know how to measure egg whites critiques like this will push the industry forward reviews like booooo 15 cocktail i ll take my brewed in california can of rainer instead are another lazy type of faux blue collar hackery used only to hit a quick deadline if the drink sucks say it bars can t afford to advertise with you anyway you ll save a restaurateur the time of reading the ensuing chinese water torture of bad yelp reviews that are sure to out the truth but worry not bar code i didn t forget my earlier promise go fuck yourself with a broken chihuly sculpture craft cocktails are worth every dime as much as a glass of 3 dentists decide to make wine washington cabernet and twice the price of the most rip out your throat micro brewed ipas discomfort andrew bohrer cheers p s i generally like your column i agree with you that rose is great and what not good work on all that stuff just this one thing got me a touch upset posted in cocktails 1 comment holiday flask guide après ski posted on 12 12 2014 by caskstrength the après ski edition of the holiday flask guide isn t just about hitting slopes it s also about having something to do on a ski lift it is a time honored tradition to get flasky on the mountain and this is my selection of what you should actually drink while you are pretending to be in a coors light commercial but wait not from connecticut don t do winter break in the alps or are you looking up the word après ski well these sweet warming oddballs will work for any outdoor winter activity maybe even just caroling too secular for caroling no you aren t i was raised unitarian and i know that you can just say whatever word you want when the song gets to insert deity and no one is the wiser you can also drink these outside at a football game at the intermission of a christmas pageant or while shredding down fine champagne powder malört a type of liquid tattoo that you get on your tongue that coincidentally also has a powerfully vicious wormwood flavor malört face green chartreuse vep the oak aged version of green chartreuse sands off the bite of alcohol green chartreuse 110 proof herbal as fuck drinks like a scratchy wool scarf that has cough syrup spilled on it athol brose a proprietary brose which is an herbal scotch liqueur sweetened with honey and oats this one is on a base of 10 year scotch and tastes of scotch blended with some sort of sexy toothpaste honeycomb becherovka my wife once quoted the 90 s saying it tastes like welfare christmas but i d say it tastes like a ginger snap with a like crisp bitterness makes a great toddy yellow chartreuse vep tastes like a bouquet of flowers boiled in water sweetened with honey poured over pancakes drambuie 15 the aged drambuie that tastes better poured out of the bottle than 9 out of 10 craft cocktails yellow chartreuse the lighter sweeter chartreuse start here génépi an alpine herb an accessible full flavored herbal grand marnier always excellent always available if you aren t in america the exotic orange blend is a must try if you are in america i hope you enjoyed their cherry bottling sarcastic emoticon drambuie eh it s like a illustrated abridged version of the hobbit compared to the silmarillion of the rest of this chart bärenjäger this is for babies it is delicious candy that will split your head open like the bear s beehive with you ensuing hangover but it s great during rumple minz when i was a kid the punks would shoot this proprietary 100 proof peppermint schnapps and listen to wesley willis every coffee liquor under 20 boooooooooo but if you spend more they can be good jägermeister talk shit all you want but one day someone is goind to blind taste you on jåger and you ll say what is this new amaro home made coffee liqueur look quit infusing coffee beans that sucks blend aged rum with sugar and cold press or fuck off stroh i won t say where but i know a bar that pours this for annoying guests and tells them that this profoundly shitty 160 proof rum is something rare special kümmel technically an after golf liqueur this caraway liqueur isn t very popular and is often found with an unfortunate layer of dust on it but i love it all by myself zirbenlikör i hate hearing that gin tastes like pine cones this tastes like pinecones because it s ground up purple pinecones mixed with booze and honey if it s too gnarly for you mix it with brandy and pineapple juice flask s of the day the gentlemen s ski pole is a home made flask is the ski pole enjoy the diy guide here otherwise it s fairly important to not fall on a metal flask when skiing try this collapsible one worst case scenario is that it would pop rendering you sticky but likely minty fresh posted in cocktails leave a comment holiday flask guide intro posted on 12 08 2014 by caskstrength it s that special time of year when i want to write about drinking sweet advent drinks make tom jerry s or value shop for whisk...