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Text of the page (random words):
es at a time the thick tome by jacques pepin heavy enough to flatten a chicken was from a class at sur la table entitled cooking with jacques pepin which i took with son jesse i ve used exactly two recipes from that book but looking at it reminds me of how we laughed at the fine print that accompanied the promo for that class jacques pepin will not be in attendance if cookbooks are the kitchen s reference library my old recipe folder is the rare documents room in the museum of my personal history inside it can be found recipes in my dad s handwriting or from his old okidata dot matrix printer on perforated paper that once included holes along the edges while he s been gone for 17 years seeing those old recipes in his handwriting brings him back to me i can almost smell the steam from the pizzelli iron as i talked with dad and timed each pizzelli with a hail mary other filed recipes recall old coworkers from 30 years ago including the recipes on large post cards that were part of a bridal shower they gave me for my first marriage one for chicken and rice casserole has been used many dozens of times and when i see the handwriting of the woman who gave it to me a fragile lonely person who had affairs with two married men at the office i hope that she has become stronger over time filed under c the ripped out pages from a 1989 good housekeeping christmas issue hold my most treasured cookie recipe that recipe only takes up one page but for some reason i ve saved the entire article including the recipe for barbara bush s ginger cookies i was a young mother of 35 back then busier but still driven to make lots of christmas cookies unlike today so for me recipes on paper are not only instructions but tangible relics of the past the friends i ve lost touch with my aunts cheerful kitchens the occasions when the recipes were first tasted the girl or woman i was back then the most beloved ones are also the most stained and careworn like a soft old sweatshirt with frayed sleeves epicurious will always have its place but an ipad screen is no substitute for a book that can be perused on a rainy day opened up on a countertop or stained by an errant splash of gravy or a handwritten recipe that still bears the dna of a loved one who is long gone share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x more email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading standard tagged aging baby boomers cookbooks cooking family food friendship midlife recipes relationships 17 comments 09 27 14 by cathy buday i m not 60 i m sexagenarian on september 20 i passed a milestone that everybody said would be very difficult i turned 60 it seems like just yesterday that i turned 50 and friends were warning fifty is nothing but you ll really feel it when you are sixty a few years ago a formerly heavy colleague newly slim confessed that i had to get my diet and exercise in order because i didn t want to turn sixty and realize my body has totally fallen apart and it s become popular for women s magazines to have features called sexy at any age with photos of gorgeous celebrities grouped by their decade for some reason it stops at 59 unless they are talking about men so post birthday i ve spent the past week waiting to feel the axe of old age upon my head and guess what nothing has happened my hair is no grayer and my body is no more stooped or saggy than it was last week this new decade is not as scary as it seemed when i was 10 years away from it it could be because we have many friends now who are post 60 and say it s a blast if you have the right attitude several friends at my 60th birthday party last week were living proof they looked fit and gorgeous passionate about their grandchildren work interests and travel and as carefree as eight year olds not a bad place to be here s one thought maybe the key for surviving the 60s is to think and act like you did in the 60s i have to admit right here that i sat on the sidelines during the free love decade and am happily married and have no plans to start such debauchery now but my mind was more open and i felt the possibilities were endless so why not make a mind blowing change in the concept of what it means to be 60 plus let s start by declaring that we re not in our 60s we re sexagenarian doesn t that sound better ten years as a sexagenarian sounds pretty exciting i m now in the company of people like helen mirren who someone once declared put the sex back in sexagenarian being a sexagenarian sounds as racy as being a dancer in hair something i wasn t allowed to see in the 60s it sounds as daring as wearing a catholic school uniform with fishnet stockings which i kinda did in 1968 yet because of the gen syllable it also sounds vaguely healthy like oxygen or a yoga retreat i like it i ll take it so i now have a whole ten years in this fun new decade before i have to redefine my age all over again it s probably not too early to start thinking about how to spin the 70s which are already looking challenging somehow septuagenarian doesn t have the same ring if you read or watched game of thrones you know that a septa is a humorless female religion teacher it also sounds too much like septic maybe we can think of something different and don t even get me started on octogenarians share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x more email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading standard tagged aging beauty game of thrones helen mirren humor midlife psychology relationships 5 comments 09 18 14 by cathy buday a crash course in humility how do you react when you are out driving and notice that a nearby motorist is driving a very beat up car not a well used or old vehicle but one that has clearly been in a serious crash i have to admit that my first instinct has always been to keep as far away from them as possible because maybe the disfiguring disease will drift back to my car like an airborne virus or i ll assume the driver is careless another reason to keep at least 18 car lengths away either way the sight of a caved in bumper a crumpled headlight or a beleaguered motorist standing next to a roadside wreck makes me both uncomfortable and grateful car wrecks happen only to other people either through carelessness or bad luck until it happens to you a few sundays ago i was taking our son out for his first driving lesson it was an empty parking lot near our home next to an office building john his learner s permit recently won was eager to start driving his older brothers had volunteered to teach him the road skills but i felt confident that i could at least teach him the basics of our 10 year old acura whose handling i knew so well i had done the same for our older kids using an old sentra with a sluggish four cylinder engine and a wheel that required serious arm muscles to turn i had warm memories of those times and had no reason to think this would be different feeling buoyant rather than apprehensive i went over the safety precautions first and explored the seat belts gas pedal brake and turn signals we adjusted the seating and the mirrors we turned the key and john gingerly stepped on the gas then the brake then the gas his movements were tentative the car responded overeagerly but he seemed to get the hang of it after a few minutes we felt confident enough to attempt a turn and that s when we got into trouble we learned too late that the very handling that made the acura a pleasure to drive for an experienced driver made it too skittish for an inexperienced one john s touch on the wheel was too much the car swerved too far to the left and moved too quickly john was paralyzed with fear and i didn t react in time we plowed into a wall that had looked comfortably far away just a few seconds earlier luckily neither of us was hurt and the wall was ok but the front driver s side of the car now looked like the elephant man after several minutes consoling john i drove it home luckily the car drove as smoothly as it did before the verdict was grim no interior damage but some pretty extreme plastic surgery a new bumper and fender new 700 head lamp new radiator support one body shop affiliated with an acura dealership quoted us 6 000 to do the work more than two thirds the value of the car we were hoping that we could avoid going through insurance but this didn t look good hey this is going back to a young driver i pointed out can you just make it safe and cut corners somewhere to save money it doesn t have to be perfect the guy at the high end dealer who no doubt was used to pumping up the price and figuring insurance would pay for it acted insulted and said that everything he was proposing was absolutely necessary so i left the car there and told him i d think about it then canvassed friends for other recommendations i found another place that many said was worth checking out so i fetched my car from the high end shop and drove it there the car still ran like a champ but it attracted more than its fair share of somber glances from other motorists and pedestrians what were they thinking of me i wondered did they assume i was a bad driver or careless or unlucky did the drivers apply their brakes to add a little more distance between us wish i could have told them that i m a good driver and i m cautious i ve only had one accident that has been my fault nobody was hurt and it was 14 years ago but i just learned two humbling lessons one you don t put a responsive high horsepower piece of machinery in the hands of a new driver even in a parking lot and two i don t have the reflexes to be a driving instructor a happy postscript the nice guy at that other body shop is doing the work for way less than half and he even gave me a ride home and john s next driving experience will be with a licensed driving teacher in a car with two sets of controls share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x more email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading standard tagged driving family midlife relationships safety 2 comments 09 06 14 by cathy buday you ve got plenty of sympathy today in target i saw something that i thought i would never see a six pack of sympathy cards i was shopping with my mom and looking for a sympathy card for a friend whose own elderly mother just passed away after a long struggle with dementia imagine my surprise when among the tasteful dignified cards picturing lilies crosses butterflies serene gardens and poetic sentiments was a shrink wrapped bargain bundle of them you know that the u s population demographics are skewing older when you can now buy sympathy cards in bulk much like you d purchase shrink wrapped supplies of mac and cheese or vitamin water one for now and more for later just in case bargain survival sized rations of something that you only use when somebody doesn t survive what s next boxes of 25 at costco a six pack of sympathy cards is perfect if you are expecting a slew of bad news as a growing number of us in middle age also deal with aging parents this is a morbid sign of the times no less than six of our good friends and neighbors have lost their parents within the past year moreover as i approach my sixtieth birthday i find myself scanning the obits more and more for people my age as well as for people whose families i might know every time i see an age gap that s uncomfortably close i go out for a walk and count my blessings perhaps buying sympathy cards ahead is not such a bad idea especially in the age of prepaid funerals and advanced health care directives the late comedienne joan rivers planned the details of her own funeral several years ago including tributes from meryl streep in five languages and a wind machine near her coffin so that joan dressed in valentino would look as fetching as beyonce people who are far less famous than joan rivers have also planned their ultimate going away party a good friend of mine has also asked her family to follow special orders if she is ever on life support don t pull the plug until she s a size 10 as someone who s worked at newspapers i also know that eulogies and obits are often composed well before the body gets cold well i did buy the six pack of sympathy cards which are tasteful and simple along with a special single card for my neighbor and figured i wouldn t feel bad about it because i m not sure who will get them afterwards my mom and i decompressed by heading over the section of funny cards howling out loud at some of the more risqué ones one can argue of course that buying ahead saves time money and gas just like buying toilet paper in bulk or a 700 capsule jar of vitamins yet the pain and trauma of losing a loved one no matter how old makes it seem crass to be practical about how we comfort them i ve always viewed choosing sympathy cards not only as a respectful custom and a duty towards the grieving but also as a meditation on the person s life and the family s loss the sentiment that works for one grief stricken family may not work for another and it never occurred to me to make a special trip to buy a sympathy card ahead of time even if someone i know is clearly at the end there is something vulture like about this it feels like cheating like being presumptuous or even inviting the worst so maybe i will save my shrink wrapped cards for people i don t know that well share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x more email a link to a friend opens in new window email like loading standard tagged death family humor joan rivers midlife relationships 1 comment 08 29 14 by cathy buday little bro crosses over john through the ages when your youngest child is born long after the others he or she often spends an inordinate amount of time being the baby these bumper crop kids are fussed over cooed at and petted far longer than the others when the adult siblings visit the youngest often enjoys a short time playing piggyback or mario kart then goes back to the safe spot under mom or dad s wing while the adult kids talk about music relationships and breaking bad but at some point and sometimes it s hard to pin down the relationship changes the youngest goes from being a pet to a peer and for their parents this transition is bittersweet we watch with love pride and a little regret as the bonds strengthen between our little one and our older ones as their universe of shared interests grows larger as the conversations between them become more easygoing and filled with cultural references that we don t understand our son john recently celebrated his 16th birthday as our youngest child with a full 10 year point spread from our second youngest john was the baby for far too long we fretted over him protected him did far too much for him at times he looked to us constantly for reassurance but little by little something happened and we can t pinpoint...