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ess rate for fathers was 44 percent a stanford study of more than 1 000 california couples divorced in the 1980s suggests conventional wisdom is right if both parents requested sole custody when filing for divorce it was awarded to mom in 45 percent and to dad in 11 percent of the cases with joint physical custody for the rest when she asked for sole custody and he for joint custody the odds were 2 1 in her favor most of the disputes were negotiated just five couples went to trial vying for sole custody and one of these cases resulted in a victory for the father the answer is not to help fathers win more custody fights but to have fewer fights in michigan the legislature is considering a shared parenting or joint custody bill the senate substitution bill for house bill 5636 opposed by the state s now chapter there s ample room for discussions of the best way to ensure children of divorce still have two parents but disinformation shouldn t be part of the debate leave a comment filed under uncategorized november 1 2014 6 30 pm anita sarkeesian book film critic so i can t really properly judge newly famous media critic anita sarkeesian s videogame criticism because i m not a gamer i can however judge her reviews of books and movies and if her 2012 video about the hunger games is any indication her commentary runs the gamut from the banal to the laughably wrong oh and before you go on there be spoilers here for the hunger games catching fire and mockingjay proceed at your own risk here i should add that i think the hunger games is not only an excellent series but one of the best works of fiction in recent years in its approach to gender yeah suzanne collins s writing style is a bit flat but i actually think it works well for this kind of novel in katniss everdeen it gives us a three dimensional active female protagonist whose struggles don t have anything to do with gender i love that katniss is trying to protect peeta as much or more actually as he is trying to protect her i could have done without the love triangle and frankly i think gale is one of the books least interesting characters but hey nothing is perfect i love that while katniss is a fighter she s not somehow magically stronger than all the guys i love that it s never at any point suggested that there is something uniquely horrible about forcing girls as well as boys to fight to the death the hunger games are horrible but female victims are never treated as more worthy of sympathy or horror than male ones i love that there s no bullshit about the panem power structure being oppressive because it s male i love that the rebels are led by a woman anna coin and that she turns out to be just as bad as the people she s fighting which gender aside is also a commentary on many revolutions and now here s anita sarkeesian okay first of all unrelated to gender at about 55 seconds in sarkeesian makes a passing comment about how the premise of the book is unrealistic because there s no way people would give up randomly selected kids to participate in a fight to the death spectacle without a fight has she actually read the damn books because i think it makes perfect sense in the context of the hunger games universe the people from the districts are too cowed to rebel plus the hunger games system is actually a combination of carrot and stick well lots of stick and a little carrot if you win you become a celebrity and a hero and not only your family but your town reaps major economic benefits then there s a discussion of katniss that consists of a lot of statements of the obvious she s not reduced to her gender she s not sexualized or objectified she shows sympathy and compassion for her family and friends one of sarkeesian s pet ideas is that a truly feminist heroine has to challenge the patriarchal value system not only with regard to gender roles but also by prioritizing compassion cooperation and non violent conflict resolution over competition dominance vengeance and so on so for instance she refuses to consider mattie ross in true grit a feminist heroine because among other things she doesn t show enough emotion and doesn t question the idea that death is appropriate retribution for her dad s murderer i have to say that i find this idea deeply offensive if a conservative wrote that a female character was a bad model of womanhood because she s insufficiently emotional and too vengeful he or she would rightly be excoriated as a sexist so why is it okay for sarkeesian to declare a female character to be a bad model of feminism because she s too much like a man i have no words for how obnoxious that is well i do but they re the kind of words that would violate my own rules about civility in public discourse katniss mostly meets sarkeesian s true feminist test whew except that sarkeesian manages to give her a passing grade by seriously misrepresenting the books for instance she asserts at 3 56 that katniss remains troubled and disturbed at the idea of personally murdering another human being even within the context of the death match reeeally re read the start of chapter 18 of the hunger games where katniss kills the boy who has just mortally wounded her friend and ally rue the boy from district 1 dies before he can pull out the spear my arrow drives deeply into the center of his neck he falls to his knees and halves the brief remainder of his life by yanking out the arrow and drowning in his own blood i m reloaded shifting my aim from side to side while i shout at rue are there more are there more earlier at the end of chapter 11 katniss is rather cold bloodedly contemplating the murder of the girl who is camping out near her hiding place at night and is stupid enough to light a fire which is likely to be spotted by the career tributes i lie smoldering in my bag for the next couple of hours really thinking that if i can get out of this tree i won t have the least problem taking out my new neighbor my instinct has been to flee not fight but obviously this person s a hazard stupid people are dangerous the careers get there first and kill the girl without spotting katniss in fact at 5 55 sarkeesian contradicts herself by noting when discussing the ways in which katniss is shown as traumatized by violence that near the end she aims an arrow at peeta s heart when she thinks he s about to kill her and then there s this say what this is the same katniss who counts the dead tributes at the end of each day with no thought other than the more of them die the more chance i have of staying alive the only death other than rue s at which she feels sorrow is that of thresh because he cared about rue and because he saved her kat s own life earlier and then spared her thresh dead i should be happy right one less tribute to face and a powerful one too but i m not happy all i can think about is thresh letting me go letting me run because of rue who died with that spear in her stomach and that s just in the first book by the third katniss actually demands as a condition of cooperating with the rebels the right to personally kill president snow and i know sarkeesian had read all three books by the time she made her video because one of her criticisms was that the love triangle took up too much room in the later books one of the few points on which i agree with her but that s hardly an insight of stunning originality almost everyone i know thinks the love triangle was pointless and boring the inconsistency is apparently that katniss is very distraught by rue s death but doesn t even bat an eye at that of foxface the girl who dies after stealing berries from katniss and peeta s food supply that turn out to be poisonous seriously are you kidding me first of all while foxface has cleverly stayed out of the action she was hurting or trying to hurt katniss and peeta by stealing their food supplies secondly katniss also remains unfazed by the deaths of several other tributes who haven t hurt anyone at first i was going to say that sarkeesian s objection to katniss s lack of grief at foxface s death betrays her sexism since katniss also shows no grief at the murder of several harmless males like the boy in chapter 11 with whom she struggles for a backpack at the cornucopia and who is killed right in front of her she s only repulsed by being splattered with his blood but after re reading the scene where the girl who lights the fire is killed i had to conclude that sarkeesian is not being sexist she s just being stupid the rest of the seven and a half minute video is taken up by a discussion of how male heroes are typically portrayed as suffering no emotional repercussions from violence and how refreshing it is that katniss struggles with such repercussions but ironically in trying to squeeze katniss into her politically correct little box of compassionate feminist hero sarkeesian totally dilutes one of the strongest themes of the trilogy that being forced into a world of brutal violence does have a dehumanizing effect is there a place for intelligent media criticism that focuses on gender issues sure thing but the fact that sarkeesian has emerged as the leading voice in such criticism right now ensures that it s going to be propaganda not analysis p s i m leaving the comments open but any comments containing personal abuse of any kind will not be approved 59 comments filed under culture feminism movies tagged as culture feminism movies october 23 2014 2 37 pm this is rape culture not hold on folks maybe it s time for me to take back everything i ve ever said about the rape culture like how it s slightly deranged to suggest that any modern liberal society has one because really what else do you call it when a man can post reams of pornographic fantasies online about a female celebrity and not only get away with it but get a six figure book deal to turn those fantasies into a novel oh wait my bad correction when a woman can post reams of pornographic fantasies about a male celebrity and get a six figure book deal can you imagine the howling in the feminist blogosphere and on twitter if the genders were reversed anyway still no rape culture sorry but considering that this is one direction fanfic we re talking about it does make me weep for the future of culture period 18 comments filed under books culture gender issues tagged as feminism gender issues rape culture october 15 2014 5 48 pm voxjacked two days ago ezra klein the editor of vox com penned what may be the most repulsive article yet on the subject of affirmative consent laws klein s argument in a nutshell yes these laws are overbroad and will probably result in innocent men being expelled from college over ambiguous charges which is good because the college rape crisis is so terrible and the need to change the norms of sexual behavior is so urgent that this requires a brutal and ugly response or as joe stalin was fond of saying when you chop wood chips must fly that s the russian equivalent of you can t make an omelette without breaking eggs toward the end klein writes then there s the true nightmare scenario completely false accusations of rape by someone who did offer consent but now wants to take it back i don t want to say these kinds of false accusations never happen because they do happen and they re awful but they happen very very rarely i only just found out from this column by james taranto that the link in this passage goes to my recent piece on slate xx the whole point of which was to rebut the idea that false accusations of rape are so infinitesimally rare that they needn t be a serious factor in deciding whether laws dealing with sexual assault are unfair to the accused i repeat i wrote a piece extensively fact checked i might add arguing that wrongful accusations of rape either deliberately false or based on alcohol impaired memory and mixed signals are not quite as rare as anti rape activists claim and that we need to stop using their alleged rarity to justify undermining the presumption of innocence in sexual assault cases and ezra klein cites this very piece in an article that justifies pretty much throwing the presumption of innocence out the window is there a word for having one s writing hijacked to support in an egregiously misleading way the very point you are arguing against i suggest voxjacking 3 comments filed under feminism gender issues tagged as affirmative consent ezra klein rape sexual assault september 26 2014 7 57 pm emma watson and the b word bossy what did you think i meant anyway if you re here you ve probably seen my column on emma watson heforshe and my proposed alternative sheandheforus or heandsheforus a quick side note i appreciate that in her u n speech watson emphasized that she has never been oppressed or treated as a lesser person because of her gender she did however make this claim i started questioning gender based assumptions when at eight i was confused at being called bossy because i wanted to direct the plays we would put on for our parents but the boys were not is it very uncharitable for me to doubt this story it just seems too conveniently tied to sheryl sandberg s recent ban bossy campaign and honestly given how commonly girls are found in leadership roles at school in recent years i find it hard to believe that a girl would get negative pushback just for wanting to direct school plays one possibility is that it was something about watson s personality another is that whatever happened back then is now perceived by her through the prism of the recent campaign to reframe bossy as an antifemale slur tangential evidence supporting my doubts in the past watson has repeatedly used the b word to refer to her harry potter character hermione granger at the age of 11 when she first started playing hermione she told entertainment weekly i reckon she s very very bossy sometime later i haven t been able to find the original source of the quote but it s posted on this fan page which was made in 2004 when watson was 14 she said in one of her interviews now that i ve played the snotty bossy posh hermione granger i d like to play some american high school girl i want to play something totally different somehow i think that if watson had actually found it hurtful to be called bossy at eight she wouldn t be using the word to describe her film character a few years later again i don t think she s making it up i just think she s processing it through her perspective as a 24 year old feminist comments are open but filtered any comments bashing either gender collectively or containing personal abuse toward any individual including emma watson will remain forever in limbo 8 comments filed under uncategorized older posts cathy young a writer and journalist was born in moscow russia in 1963 and came to the united states in 1980 she is a graduate of rutgers university from 1993 to 2000 young wrote a weekly column for the detroit news from 2000 to 2007 she was a weekly columnist for the boston globe where she is...