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cavalcade of perversions skip to main skip to sidebar wednesday july 9 2014 hi posted by jenn at 7 21 pm no comments saturday september 28 2013 oh my goodness how long has it been decades i hate it i want to blog again and tell you all of the movies i ve watched and how awfully wonderful and wonderfully awful they are i want to regale you with the tales of my vhs collecting and the antics of my millions of cats i sometimes get tattoos and i want to tell you all about that too there s so much to catch up on so many drinkin stories and opinions on stuff and tis the season and all i m gonna catch up with you all that s what i m going to do let s do that horror movie challenge thing we sometimes do in october and get me back to into my blog groove what say you posted by jenn at 12 24 am 1 comment sunday december 9 2012 rip paul has it really been over three years since my paul passed away posted by jenn at 8 15 pm 3 comments labels paul naschy happy fishmas perverts i miss you i m still watching movies and drinking and fucking shit up like i always do i m bartending my face off and still teaching school and hanging out as is my custom i m getting ready to have my christmas horror movie marathon and i m also headed out to vail colorado for a week or so to see if i wanna move there i don t know how the snow will fare with my six inch platform boots and my glitter and my furry leopard coat but we ll see it seems kinda crunchy for my punk rock taste but whatever life is okay and i m up to eight cats now work continues to be work and movies continue to be movies i m looking forward to cinema wasteland in april as bill from radiation scarred reviews has booked a bunch of us a room i m stoked on meeting everyone in person and getting back in my blogging groove put on your tacky christmas sweaters pour some wine and get those silent night deadly night vhs tapes poppin love you guys posted by jenn at 8 06 pm 2 comments monday july 16 2012 jordan krall s penetralia hey perverts question or rather questions plural how much do you like mad science how do we all feel about incest ever thought about a giraffe riding a bicycle plague doctors are pretty cool no ever seen an andy milligan film if you think about this stuff like i do and wanna have your mind blown you should definitely fucking read jordan krall s new book penetralia i did and let s just say i think it s my new favorite thing apocalypse donkey was one thing and will always hold a special place in my heart forever and ever but penetralia rocked me like a hurricane it s the story of brother and sister philip and elizabeth who have a very intimate relationship in more ways than one in that they are carrying on their father s work and also have sex with one another even though philip is undoubtedly gay and while i don t want to give way to too much plot because i don t like doing that when i talk about bizzaro let s just say things get pretty messy anachronistic and trippy all in a good way all in a great way jordan has this way of just making me love his stuff it s everything i love about the sleazy cinema lovecraft horror in general and i might be wrong and this is just my take i got a little alejandro jodorowsky off this one all good stuff read this book i m always telling you guys to read more and you don t do it why i m going to give you all a spanking posted by jenn at 7 06 pm 6 comments thursday may 31 2012 tentacle death trip i ve sung bizarro author jordan krall s name in these hallowed halls of perversion before and yes i ll sing them once again for i have just finished his latest novel tentacle death trip it might seem a little over the top but yeah i m wearing the t shirt of the cover art while i write this hey when i like something i really like something hence the copious amounts of tattoos and cats anyway do you like death race 2000 what about lovecraft mad max accion mutante fast cars ultra bitchy women with pink sledgehammers biomechanical violence from beyond any sort of experience how about the occult sex slaves cross dressing sex slaves no oh well your loss read on tdt is the story of five drivers hired by the mysterious mr silver the last millionaire in the post apocolytic world of new jersey samson the loner hellbent on finding his son after losing him to bikers ten years previous gabby the aforementioned cunt with the pink sledgehammer mama hell a christian fat ass in a mini van who wears a vest of tattooed human flesh junko a former cross dressing asian sex slave in a beat up honda civic and drac dunwhich a strange glass skulled maniac who drives a sentient tentacled car it s a fight to the death as these five take on the apocalyptic landscape of 2025 new jersey tooth tornados poisonous crabs cannibal zealots the evil lord bing bong marauders nuclear mutants and all sorts of other atrocities leading them all to the city of r lyeh truly terrifying but somehow captivatingly beautiful in its horror the weirdos and madmen that populate the wasteland account for most of the entertainment here the plot is very simple a race to the death winner gets all the food and gasoline he or she wants plus a nice place to live without chaos the novel however is very character driven and it s in our specific getting to know each of the characters and what drives them is what makes this the most fun i guess you could say that about most any character driven work but here it s very true the characters are damaged fucked up insane and have had to endure atrocities unlike any worst nightmare why not race to the death for one last chance at salvation of sorts i ve probably said this before after reading each new krall release but it warrants repeating i think krall is at his absolute finest here he s written a very tight and entertaining novel populating it with all the things i love about weird movies lovecraft religious satire and ultra violence amongst many other things too copious to mention the homage is a the ultimate compliment and here it is has become the ultimate art form whether he s trying to gross you out or trying to get you to think he s on point here i ve never come across an author with such similar sensibilities to my own it s like how do you get inside my head and make all this great writing come out in this way i know i haven t really done it justice here but i m humbled by it nonetheless read this novel posted by jenn at 1 48 am 3 comments thursday may 17 2012 hood rat ok so hood rat 2002 only gets a star and a half on netflix and it is terribly excruciatingly difficult to get through it s disjointed cheap makes no sense and is terribly cliche and bordering on offensive but that isn t to say it wasn t fun fun fun while billed as a killer rat movie hood rat is a more character driven narrative about the residents of the forest tower projects in atlanta there s max isaiah washington the homeless can collector turned pied piper we ll get to that in second max s wheelchair bound alcoholic brother courtney building manager and hustler pimp wannabe grady played by a scenery chewing ice t max s love interest nina nina s piece of shit boyfriend an old couple we ve lived in this building thirty five years a crazy one eyed ex solidier named satan and some various other assorted stereotypes and such populating this ghetto in the opening scene a crack smoking exterminator who carries his chemicals and whatnot in a crown royal bag tied to his waste a charming little detail to be sure is completely devoured by a million cgi rats the whole thing takes place in a warehouse nee banquet hall and once said exterminator is eaten the cops haven t the slightest clue as to what happened and this being the ghetto and everyone smoking crack the police aren t too inclined to believe any killer rat stories anyway although the opening is hilariously over the top in trying to be as ghetto as possible who let the rats out is said at least twice it doesn t set the tone for what s to come what follows are some depressing scenes that take place every day in the projects hustling for drugs crack smoking domestic violence and the overall squalor of the conditions in which hundreds of people spend their daily lives the movie is cheap but these scenes are surprisingly effective max and courtney elicit sympathy in their portrayal of the two brothers and the rest of the cast does a decent job although i don t think many of the roles call for that much range still it helps lend a decent bit of credibility after the setup we meet slumlord bernard a haitian born capitalist who is sentenced by a judge to spend a month in forest tower so he can see how he allows his tenants to live bernard is a complete piece of shit walking around with his cane and assistant carrying an umbrella as to not soil his tidy dreadlocks and expensive suit he s pretty pissed the judge sent him to live here but he s going to make the best of it by inhabiting the best apartment and installing up to the minute security around the building that s when the rats start showing up you know those fuckers from the epic opening sequence for real this time time to see everything through rat o vision after a series of events they are all literally that boring and none of them good max frees a rat from a trap in an alley he names the rat tara and they become bonded and by bonded i mean he can now completely understand tara and have her do his bidding and by bidding i mean he can command all the rats in all the projects to kill those that deserve it at his discretion and in semi creative ways there s a magic stick involved and some maybe voodoo turn of events but i might have made up the voodoo part because there is no other way to explain any of this as you can probably imagine everyone that deserves comeuppance gets it grady bernard nina s bf etc and we actually do sort of cheer max on he s clearly in his element holding the rat petting her fur being all menacing and vindictive and shit it s when the rats kill pretty nina that max goes completely off the fucking deep end a far cry from his calm and cool demeanor when he was in command of tara and company the whole thing ends in a big fiery mess flames and shit and dead rats everywhere there s even a hint at a sequel although it s very very far fetched i think there might even be a hood rat 2 but i don t care right now let s recap there s ice t rats that can do a homeless man s bidding a drunk in a wheelchair a guy that gets killed on the toilet when the rats come up through the sewer sorry didn t mention that one before plenty o crack smoking a haitian slumlord rat o vision stock footage a tweaking exterminator with a crown bag and ice t i know i mentioned that several times but seriously he s like a ramped up version of every character he s ever been typecast as it s hilarious it ain t no fucking citizen kane but i don t really want citizen kane when i get off work at two in the morning ya know posted by jenn at 10 44 pm 3 comments labels 00 s ice t killer rats older posts home subscribe to posts atom me bid ju velcome jenn heavily tattooed old punk rocker and weird movie aficionado as well as cat enthusiast hair dye addict and drinker of copious amounts of wine if i don t have my ass parked on the couch watching something crazy from the seventies with a vino in hand there is something wrong with the universe i occasionally take a break from drinking and watching movies to grade papers and bring people food and pour them drinks but normally i m happiest at home with my six fur children and a box of cheap cabernet crank up the misfits loud pick your poison and join me view my complete profile email me like the blog want me to come to your parties send me presents email me cavalcade of perversions at gmail dot com perverts blather 00 s 20 s 30 s 40 s 50 s 60 s 70 s 70s 80 s 90 s abel ferrara alien sandwich aliens andy milligan animals invading the human sphere bad horror movies baked goods basements bat weiners bats bela lugosi bigfoot books boring movies cake cannibal moms carnival fetish cat in a pumpkin suit cats cavemen cgi sabre toof attacks cgi shark attacks chicken in a hockey mask chupacabras circus sideshows contest conventions crazy fat ethel daddy issues danzig david cronenberg david friedman death by microwave death by pig death by power tool divine don post donald pleasance doris wishman dwarves dyanne thorne educational emanuelle female killers first times fourth of july freaks frog cults full grown man as a baby ghosts halloween hallucinogens hercules holiday horrors hugo stiglitz hurts so bad feels so good ice t imaginary friends insanity jack hill jean rollin jess franco john hayes john saxon karloff killer rats killer worms laura gemser lesbian lina romay linnea quigley literature loch ness lon chaney lsd lucio fulci mad monks mad sexology mario bava martial arts mean ass flying fish mental patients metal missing internal organs monsters moochie motorcycle gangs movies which could 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