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description=2 posts published by charlywalker during August 2011;

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the, to, and, of, my, with, was, in, that, this, as, we, on, her, our, by, it, at, his, son, down, dog, puppy, vet, for, have, were, me, foo, get, not, you, out, an, one, or, be, do, is, if, did, all, line, pup, made, from, had, through, scooter, check, up, when, time, they, seat, their, know, flight, your, will, maybe, he, so, us, blue, two, into, could, sweetum, new, him, what, back, right, hospital, who, head, weeks, car, came, she, turned, there, option, just, night, between, which, west, muppet, started, first, am, born, any, grab, required, clinic, now, shot, decided, paperwork, those, no, didn, soon, few, stay, like, page, form, version, least, dnr, need, day, mind, various, before, being, family, wedding, pat, cargo, behind, daughter, fozzie, bear, grover, given, aisle, sister, gold, most, charlywalker, been, owners, owned, apparently, sick, vetinarian, gain, records, kids, charly, established, away, instead, went, initial, set, shots, worked, environment, then, meant, step, 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shop, local, also, known, work, word, em, ata, folks, here, hurry, lady, don, shy, serving, number, 187, village, 15, year, clutching, close, chest, cradling, football, running, 60, yard, stood, over, along, other, senior, tired, holding, mongrel, mingle, pack, ripe, age, missed, lecture, regarding, immunities, death, parvo, moved, toward, dispensed, id, name, dob, date, birth, sometime, july, calculous, privately, schooled, teenage, math, escorted, another, paying, donation, waited, du, jour, consecutively, inched, taking, breath, turn, looked, resting, arms, margeret, keane, eyes, heart, pounding, tears, couldn, fully, tattooed, braided, pony, tailed, credentials, approach, hypo, 1950, quickly, yelp, sniff, master, needle, soft, touch, equipped, precision, tussle, piece, fur, impressed, slipped, twenty, due, tetanus, tuesday, may, spoke, too, later, cold, professionals, newbie, ignorant, about, ailments, responsible, adults, dialed, 911, ownership, emergency, visit, cost, nearly, 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reality, show, trip, yanked, outta, airport, security, ventured, ray, machine, followed, wearing, hipster, shorts, compartments, b757, 200, freighter, way, china, lagging, donning, jewels, nile, draped, christmas, lights, demonstration, depart, explaining, wear, coed, assumed, mr, blackwell, shiny, badge, asking, young, three, thought, grabbing, items, race, corridor, see, solo, left, italy, enjoy, tuscan, sun, joining, characters, awaited, landing, conceded, teen, emphasis, glared, suppress, six, foot, frame, hand, grope, assisted, character, help, anyone, produce, stand, routine, attention, crowd, comes, naturally, assistant, procedure, supervising, low, groan, ohhh, yeah, paw, passed, fly, zone, pants, lightening, stare, cross, til, hands, god, going, burst, laughing, snatched, rat, thrown, maze, aware, noise, colossal, earrings, side, jaw, find, sound, proof, booth, point, explosive, residue, watched, nabbed, instrument, swept, body, geiger, counter, spewing, gusto, aftermath, 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august 2011 charlywalker s blog charlywalker s blog august 31 2011 sick as a blog an earlier post due to lack of inspiration i have been informed by current dog owners cdo s that it is important to get your new dog a puppy check a s a p i am a new puppy owner and have not owned a dog since childhood and apparently this is a check up to verify if you have a healthy or sick dog this puppy check will establish him with a vetinarian to gain a history and secure his records hmm very similar to what i did when my kids were born however that was covered by insurance my dog was a quasi rescue and did not come with any records maybe the vet will conduct a back round check i ll have charly dog present a puppy print to be submitted to the canine data bank i did not grab the yellow pages and seek out an established primary vet right away instead i went the cheaper route and did a one stop shop at the local s p c a to get his initial set of required shots also known as the clinic i have worked in the hospital environment and for all of you who work or have worked in a hospital environment back then the word clinic meant line em up step right up one ata time folks get your shots here hurry while they last that s right little lady don t be shy now serving number 187 all accompanied by a waiting room full of the village people my 15 year old son accompanied me to the clinic clutching the pup close to his chest as if he were cradling a football and running for that 60 yard t d to get to the head of the free shot line we stood in line for over an hour along with other dogs all senior to our pup my son tired of holding charly dog and decided to set our mongrel down to mingle with the pack at the ripe old age of 7 weeks apparently my son missed the lecture in the car regarding immunities vaccines and death by parvo the line moved slowly toward the table that dispensed the paperwork they asked for my id and the name of the dog and dob date of birth the pup was 7 weeks and was born sometime in july so i made my pre calculous privately schooled teenage son do the math we were then escorted to another table the paying one and gave our donation we waited in line as i witnessed the vet du jour give vaccines consecutively to all the dogs as he inched down the line without taking a breath it came to our turn and i looked at our new puppy resting in my arms staring at me with those margeret keane eyes my heart was pounding and i was near tears i couldn t watch as this fully tattooed braided pony tailed with no credentials in view vet approach my pup with a hypo from the 1950 s i made my son do it it went so quickly and not one yelp from our puppy not even a sniff this master with a needle had a soft touch equipped with precision that didn t even tussle a piece of fur i was so impressed i slipped the vet a twenty and mentioned that my son is due his tetanus soon and maybe he s free on tuesday i may have spoke too soon a few days later our pup came down with a doggie cold or as the professionals call it kennel cough and as newbie owners and ignorant about puppy ailments we did what responsible adults do dialed doggie 911 it was a weekend and we did not do step one of new puppy ownership get established with a vet so we had to go to an emergency vet hospital on a weekend with an on call vetinarian this visit cost nearly the same amount of money as a one nights stay at the hilton with a spa package the vet receptionist had us enter through the sick pet door where we were quarantined in a corner seat in the waiting area we were greeted much like a regular hospital e r as their initial instructions were please sign in and fill out this paperwork our puppy was lying listless in my lap and displaying shallow breathing we have only owned this dog for seven weeks and i am presented by the receptionist at the vet e r with a vibrant blue page to be filled out immediately i mentioned to her that my dog will be the color of this form by the time i finish with this paperwork she turned away smacking her gum to the tune of springsteen s born in the usa i noticed at the bottom of this blue page there were two options that required one mandatory check mark option 1 short version we will take the pet and do everything possible to save it costing you at the least 750 option 2 dnr i was hoping that dnr had a different meaning than the one used in people hospitals i was thinking that maybe vet clinics had their own special vernacular and acronyms that pertained to animals and that maybe their version of dnr meant something less devastating like d o n ote the r eading material while you wait or d inner n eeds r eheating or d id you n eed to r ethink this puppy thing as it turned out our pup had a mild form of a kennel cough and just needed a dose of antibiotic and we didn t need to go to eddie bauer in search of an oxygen pup tent our little pupster came through with flying colors as i stayed curled up next to him throughout the night and day i know i inherited this mutt a mere seven weeks prior to his illness and my attachment to him was still in a foreign stage to me i know i was riddled with guilt despair when i was faced with the decisions of those two options listed on the required royal page i know that in those fatal few seconds in between my puppy s breaths thoughts flashed through my mind of various views before my pen decided to land in the blank box nestled near the bottom of the bright blue form my mind was being coerced into choosing between an eight week weakling that i barely knew that could stiff me for a giant vet bill or d o n othing r ight now i know you are dying to know which option i chose that is not an option spread the humor share this share share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr like loading charlywalker 10 13 pm filed under bloggie with doggie comedy dogs humor math menopause and humor merlot mayhem motherhood mayhem mutts menopause merlot mayhem humor life experience teens family husbands puppies laughter wine satire satire comedy family teens children teens tweet tagged dogs puppies vetinarians 14 comments august 13 2011 all dressed up and nowhere to blog well i m heading out west soon for a family wedding this could either be a great time or a prelude to a muppet s reality show the trip started with my two kids sweetums and scooter being yanked outta the airport security line and experiencing their first pat down i ventured through the x ray machine first followed by my son scooter wearing his hipster cargo shorts that carry more compartments than a b757 200 freighter on it s way back from china lagging behind donning her jewels of the nile draped like christmas lights was my daughter sweetums i gave a pre flight demonstration the night before we were to depart to the west explaining the list of what not to wear when flying my coed daughter assumed this pertained to mr blackwell s list the first shiny badge to grab me was fozzie bear asking if i was the mother of young scooter behind me three seconds of thought had my mind grabbing my items and race down the corridor to see if there was a solo seat left on any flight to italy and enjoy the tuscan sun instead of joining the cast of characters that awaited our landing out west i conceded that he was my son and fozzie said i needed to watch as they pat down my teen with emphasis on his cargo room my son glared at me when i tried to suppress my grin as his six foot frame was experiencing the blue hand grope assisted by grover my son is a character all his own he doesn t need any help from anyone to produce a stand up routine and gain attention from a crowd it comes naturally to him when assistant grover started the pat down procedure on scooter with fozzie bear supervising scooter decided to give a low groan of ohhh yeah just as grover s blue paw passed the no fly zone on his cargo pants i shot my son a lightening stare of a cross between just wait til i get my hands on you and my god i m going to burst out laughing my daughter sweetum s was snatched by rizzo the rat and thrown into a glass maze i was made aware of this by the noise her colossal earrings made when they hit the side of her jaw as her head turned to find me this sound proof booth was a check point for explosive residue i watched as rizzo nabbed an instrument and slowly swept sweetum s body with a geiger counter spewing gusto as if it witnessed the aftermath of a day at chernobyl i saw sweetum s leer at me with worried wonderment and i returned her gaze with a reassuring cheshire grin through the looking glass a smile that carried a bulletin of now do you get that mommie doesn t just blow hot air through your auricles to land on deaf ear lobes that dangle designer plastic hoops we made it to the plane and my two darling puppets started to argue as to who will get the window seat as if it really mattered and they really wanted to view the geographic s of our lovely globe they both spent the entire flight electronically connected to some type of computer generated apparatus scooter won the window seat lottery and viewed the whole flight via ipad navigator sweetum s clung to a stuffed bear given to her by her absent boyfriend and plugged herself into her ipod and lost herself in mood music i tried to flag down a frazzled flight attendant to order a bloody mary and i was met with miss piggy pushing a beverage cart down the aisle and yelling at steward beaker to get more cups every time miss piggy turned to face a passenger someone sitting in the the aisle seat got a shot from the hip at least it was a padded blow to the head i jokingly asked her if she could remain standing there for the complete flight so i could have a head rest and grab some shut eye my son laughed at that one we landed on the west and were being picked up by my older sister who i haven t seen in years she text me to describe her gold luxury 300g and said she would be getting us outside the baggage claim my children and i grabbed our bags and rolled on out to the crowded arrival deck we located a gold sporty suv idling with a woman in the drivers seat staring straight ahead who resembled my sister we all waived in unison to flag her down and approached her car smiling with glee and started to load our luggage into the back of her car as i lifted the first suitcase we heard a honk from the car behind us and it was my sister foo foo foo foo drove us to her lovely home on the water where we were to stay for a few days before we headed north to attend a family wedding of my brothers son foo foo sweetum s scooter and i enjoyed our time together until foo foo s husband oscar the grouch came down with walking pneumonia and made our stay short lived foo foo ferried us to my mother s camilla place packed in her luxury gold suv for a two hour ride to a charted island there we would be met by the skipper and gilligan a millionaire and his wife the professor and maryanne we stayed between camilla s house and my brother elmo s place at the beach house which harbored the likes of the swedish chef concocting the most delectable treats roasted on elmo s fire pops in his walker which was stolen and used as a wheelie toy by great grandson kermit the cast of relatives included rowlf the dog hogthrob dr teeth gaffer various waldorf uncle deadly julius strangepork floyd robin thog lew zealan gonzo dr bunsen honeydew zoot muppy beauregard janice wanda hilda sam the eagle statler wayne crazy harry sue lips nigel and last but not least animal on drums most of whom began their day with beer and dough nuts and ended the night with fantastic stories which made you laugh until your stomach hurt each of whom could capture and carry the most renown version of marty robbin s song of el paso in the key of f flat to be sung all through the night in various locations in a sleepy town 78 miles north of the emerald city the wedding was a smash hit especially with the muppet clan singing el paso as the bride and groom took their fateful walk down the aisle of marriage into the reception hall i loved this group of muppet misfits and i am proud to have been a part of them during this glorious time i didn t know what to expect given the horror stories of family gatherings but this by far was an unexpected pleasure and sheer puppet mastery with no strings attached well maybe with the exception of crabby patty resurfacing on shore trying to keep his claws out of the drink this was your muppet news woman reporting spread the humor share this share share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr like loading charlywalker 11 50 pm filed under airplanes cell phones comedy desktop flight attendants flightattendants friends humor merlot mayhem motherhood mayhem movies muppet s 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