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briefs charlywalker s blog charlywalker s blog january 1 2014 backfield in motion my son is home for the holidays and i will say he never ceases to amaze me with the way his brain is wired i know his 19 year old intellect is still under construction and my crossing the yellow caution tape may lead to a hazard zone equipped with sink holes invading his infrastructure but i continue to plow ahead as i bear witness to his teen logic case in point since birth i have been privy to my sons underclothes all the way from his training pants to his xl joe boxers i have had this privilege not only as his mother doing his laundry but also as a spectator during his youth i watched as he frantically raced down the stairs in his t shirt and power ranger panties looking for something he urgently needed like a small grey lego piece he left on the carpet over night that may or may not have been devoured by my vacuum or fast forward to the present his collegiate six foot frame harboring size 13 bare feet flapping down steps in search of his treasured cell phone lost in the couch cushions wearing only his christmas boxers featuring santa holding a heineken my how the years breeze past us from briefs to boxers is how i now measure my sons growth and maturity level it s amazing what shows up when ready for prime time teens are independent and shop for their own clothing after they enroll in college possibly spending their college fund on seasonal items that cover their private areas and lay hidden beneath their worn denims only to surface when they bring their laundry home for the holidays it s amazing the barrage of unmentionables i happen upon publicizing clever jingles across their buttocks region such as santa where s my ho s or how about the ones with the red and green ornaments spread over the fly area touting like my balls oh how i miss those sesame street days when it was a muppet dominating the bvd empire and little fannies everywhere tooted gonzo s trumpet from behind oh but i digress my son brought his christmas break laundry home and nestled on top peaking out from under some crusty towels sat a lonely pair of white briefs i asked my son as to when he switched his undergarments from boxers to briefs and then proceeded to expound on how calvin klein will have to decrease the font size in order to encrypt their holiday magic across those whitey tighty s looks like there might be just enough space in the front to photo shop in one of santa s helpers nothing comes between me and my calvins how can it there s no room my son didn t laugh he merely explained how he bought the wrong kind and he was looking for the new and improved euro slim fit hipster comfy style entitled boxer briefs boxer briefs the oxy moron of the underpants world bought the wrong kind the moron who neglected to read the packaging and fell victim to the buy one get one free syndrome who is now stuck with eight pairs of calvin klein s never to be worn again mini briefs at 19 50 a pair guess who will be comfy in his hipster briefs sitting in the school cafeteria with no money to eat my plan was to donate the items and write off the mistake however one sunday afternoon the temperatures in our area registered just above freezing and while i was carrying the laundry basket down to the laundry room i notice my son jolting out of his room wearing a short sleeve t shirt with an nfl logo scrolled across his chest accompanied by knee length soccer shorts and in bare feet he flashed past me beating me to the laundry room he stuck his lengthy arm into the core of his piled clothing and tore out a white cotton crumpled mass and held it high in his palm and yelled yesss i said son that is the whitey tighty error in judgement you are now holding why did you just fish that pair out from the rest of your laundry and hold it up to the underwear god in praise and why are you dressed like you are vacationing in hawaii when it s sub zero degrees in pennsylvania it s game day and these are my lucky clothes every time i wear this my nfl team wins and the mini briefs those are included in my lucky clothes they complete me here s hoping they make the play offs you have seven more pairs upstairs there are i m sure powerful new technologies to track a 19 year old s development to investigate their brain functions and connections when they are connecting and i m sure this research will reveal factors that impact a teens behavior that might provoke vulnerabilities and cause an erupt purchase of the wrong kind of underwear to only be worn on game day at 19 50 at pair i know that during the formative years there is a decline in volume of grey matter which i found out is necessary for maturation however i did read that a turn around happens in their early 20 s and one of the hallmark s of this turn in behavior is the ability to plan ahead even if your sons plan ahead may be brief s spread the humor share this share share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr like loading charlywalker 12 53 am filed under 1 comedy humor laundromat motherhood mayhem muppet s satire comedy family teens children tagged boxers briefs college power rangers sesame street 14 comments email subscription enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email email address sign me up join 106 other subscribers the blog s down under backfield in motion blogger n hell one flew over the blog s nest a bunch of blog wash i m at a payphone trying to blog home charlywalker s blog tweets by ellcyd archives january 2014 1 november 2013 2 july 2013 1 may 2013 1 april 2013 2 march 2013 1 january 2013 1 november 2012 2 september 2012 2 august 2012 1 july 2012 3 june 2012 1 may 2012 2 april 2012 2 march 2012 2 january 2012 5 november 2011 3 october 2011 4 september 2011 5 august 2011 2 july 2011 3 june 2011 11 may 2011 8 april 2011 5 march 2011 8 february 2011 5 january 2011 3 december 2010 2 september 2010 1 august 2010 6 july 2010 2 june 2010 2 may 2010 4 april 2010 1 march 2010 8 february 2010 10 january 2010 8 december 2009 11 november 2009 12 disclosure charlywalker 2009 unauthorized use and or duplication of this material without express and written permission is strictly prohibited excerpts and links are acceptable provided that full and clear credit is given to charlywalker with appropriate and specific direction via links to the original content top rated et cetera theme girl in green by stacey leung get a free blog at wordpress com blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed charlywalker s blog join 106 other subscribers sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy charlywalker s blog subscribe subscribed sign up log in report this content view site in reader manage subscriptions collapse this bar d design a site like this with wordpress com get started