Meta tags:
description=Feeling my way towards writing again. Better brief than not.;

Headings (most frequently used words):

chronicjot, chronicjots, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, chronicnewyearjot, chronicxmasjot, 12, posts, navigation,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
and (59), the (41), you (22), with (18), for (15), may (12), when (12), 2020 (12), your (11), marjojo2015 (10), comment (9), let (9), like (8), #chronicjot (8), from (8), february (8), this (7), that (7), leave (7), folk (7), did (7), com (6), 2019 (6), all (6), are (6), time (6), will (6), better (6), they (6), thing (6), chronicjots (5), people (5), out (5), again (5), world (5), down (5), where (5), them (5), wordpress (4), care (4), earth (4), what (4), everyone (4), but (4), too (4), year (4), without (4), can (4), december (4), make (4), not (4), our (4), their (4), her (4), eyes (4), self (4), get (3), required (3), comments (3), have (3), now (3), blog (3), poetry (3), has (3), how (3), much (3), hardly (3), while (3), soon (3), pain (3), breathing (3), over (3), five (3), days (3), need (3), face (3), best (3), never (3), one (3), more (3), its (3), good (3), work (3), through (3), almost (3), she (3), there (3), than (3), though (3), hues (3), fatigue (3), green (3), shoes (3), last (3), writing (3), into (3), holds (3), site (2), name (2), write (2), content (2), log (2), sign (2), subscribed (2), subscribe (2), posts (2), head (2), believe (2), speak (2), hands (2), someone (2), nausea (2), first (2), weeks (2), friend (2), november (2), holidays (2), joy (2), connection (2), love (2), those (2), bed (2), quietly (2), happy (2), feel (2), turn (2), cure (2), treatment (2), wishes (2), new (2), able (2), art (2), times (2), even (2), lying (2), rescue (2), boats (2), safe (2), finally (2), high (2), got (2), open (2), sit (2), three (2), two (2), room (2), which (2), weary (2), rest (2), until (2), sing (2), january (2), bedroom (2), night (2), vision (2), yet (2), blue (2), stalks (2), colours (2), wearing (2), https (2), wordgathering (2), chronic (2), beauty (2), want (2), comes (2), wave (2), chore (2), birthday (2), realise (2), might (2), day (2), mine (2), use (2), bethlem (2), done (2), ding (2), thought (2), some (2), long (2), sky (2), rainbow (2), escape (2), june (2), about (2), 2021 (2), feeling (2), way (2), towards (2), brief (2), started, design, website, email, loading, collapse, bar, manage, subscriptions, view, reader, report, privacy, already, account, older, navigation, brims, imagined, sociability, readings, exhibitions, picnics, parks, travel, paris, regularly, louise, viens, pub, drink, special, occasions, sofa, universe, compassion, abound, labour, wins, elections, wouldn, smile, sadly, could, swear, eyelids, creaked, rusted, door, hinges, wee, held, conversed, chopped, utterances, spasms, became, expansive, then, had, flipped, switch, levels, surged, ripened, felt, lay, under, mound, visit, visitor, yes, counted, reassurance, depth, desire, communion, fathomable, filled, crave, festive, possible, christmas, break, warm, greetings, who, housebound, bound, simply, round, struggling, scraping, wretched, wages, sleeping, rough, permanently, tired, overlooked, disparaged, downhearted, hopeless, crying, loud, saying, lonely, serene, anxious, juggling, striving, angry, mournful, aspiring, boisterously, desirous, contented, excluded, vow, challenge, prejudice, bigotry, wherever, encounter, fraught, beckon, once, sight, election, results, bereavement, relapse, spurs, own, grief, refresh, spirit, chronicxmasjot, citizens, singular, magnanimous, together, preserve, housing, food, free, healthcare, meaningful, well, paid, generous, benefits, education, due, these, strongly, worded, thoughtful, judicious, coming, wary, rule, corporations, stand, violence, power, connect, renounce, populism, lure, tear, walls, launch, learn, beautiful, abode, full, speed, ahead, acknowledge, privilege, secured, centuries, exploitation, colonialism, amends, delight, difference, forgetting, share, tackle, racism, classism, misogyny, ableism, homo, transphobia, everything, each, plenty, thrive, place, call, home, perhaps, move, within, reach, chronicnewyearjot, young, nurse, tends, radiant, kindness, soft, child, prick, inserts, needle, scanner, moves, glimpse, tube, gargoyle, mouths, fizz, bigotries, learned, pay, heed, meet, leery, rise, raise, voice, hold, breath, stops, allahu, akbar, waiting, huge, ceiling, several, storeys, lends, slightly, corporate, air, fills, forms, stretch, across, row, chairs, closed, pointedly, bright, lights, headphones, lest, nearby, drilling, noises, deracinate, quite, snug, blanket, floor, easy, seen, trips, hospital, planned, miserly, precision, gracious, turns, strangers, elate, continue, resonate, during, gruesome, stuck, aftermath, mode, occasionally, prickly, hush, ruffled, wingbeat, wood, pigeons, ascending, narrow, garden, only, mould, itself, around, faithful, fault, stunning, aside, downward, slope, dawn, hewn, stone, deteriorate, diversion, thin, mantle, sports, deep, pockets, crammed, vertigo, blurred, breathtaking, lashings, worst, steady, cognitive, decline, end, ear, sense, hear, dressed, hours, don, velvet, skirt, say, indigo, stitched, red, orange, yellow, blooms, sage, summer, left, calling, card, revel, sunday, ever, sparkle, hearted, carer, sees, vol13, issue4, michell, bit, news, gave, boost, week, poems, appear, audio, recordings, attached, enjoy, journal, disability, literature, bond, doesn, anchor, water, wings, thunder, storm, token, gesture, toward, lifeblood, wink, most, fervently, close, untethering, crashes, tidal, primal, sea, god, wrath, soggy, swirls, off, shoals, plastic, bellied, fish, speech, runs, completely, gets, vague, parakeets, outside, window, look, lime, smudges, turning, words, issuing, radio, normally, resort, gristly, morsels, alien, force, presses, gullet, silent, twilit, hardest, loneliest, illness, often, told, think, positive, shamed, falter, denial, won, straits, dire, minuscule, energy, advocate, whichever, level, donate, meagre, incomes, fund, research, educate, doctors, carers, nurses, wearying, beyond, measure, spite, against, keep, sleepy, eye, pleasure, blues, hope, walk, static, life, nearly, gone, fanning, flickering, flame, pair, flats, still, wildness, climbing, hills, scaling, coastal, paths, making, book, reading, abundant, remains, contested, bought, candy, apple, coloured, spool, heeled, money, received, treat, launched, tradition, subterfuge, ordered, pumps, shamrock, decoy, bumblebees, failed, surrogates, barefoot, strolls, flowering, meadows, www, school, remote, gallery, ________, thinged, phew, ought, naught, ado, drop, stately, heights, polluted, seas, denied, despairing, refugees, pass, return, stars, mountain, tops, bean, birds, atmosphere, breathe, build, means, truly, splendid, disguised, devotees, profiteering, flags, others, bleed, trust, pandemics, slay, minorities, poor, sick, elderly, heart, galaxy, crooks, politicians, stocking, masks, responsibility, disasters, created, ceos, human, faces, worship, riches, dismantle, loot, backs, stepping, stones, throat, remembers, ancient, chants, recites, tongues, dead, colonised, aren, die, press, pale, sheet, imagine, duvet, rains, posies, capsized, cloud, frida, kahlo, whole, wide, upside, earn, try, shake, question, ruminations, sigh, ableist, notions, danger, zone, budging, sink, little, deeper, here, alive, right, leads, ticker, tape, parade, limbs, throws, doubts, outright, sway, claims, drains, space, meaning, becomes, body, brain, sentence, soothes, sounds, intrude, pierce, skull, smell, unwashed, wish, senses, dulled, fall, tomorrow, sleep, menu, skip,

Text of the page (random words):
chronicjots feeling my way towards writing again better brief than not skip to content chronicjots feeling my way towards writing again better brief than not menu about chronicjot 19 february 10 2021 february 21 2021 marjojo2015 leave a comment some days fatigue holds outright sway claims hands and eyes drains space and time of meaning breathing becomes a chore you re all body if brain has room the beauty of a sentence soothes but sounds intrude and pierce your skull and when you smell your unwashed self you almost wish your senses dulled will night fall soon tomorrow might be better if sleep s your friend here s what s alive in you right now pain leads a ticker tape parade through head and limbs throws doubts of self about in rainbow hues there s no escape how do i earn my day you try to shake this question from your weary ruminations sigh ableist notions danger zone and without budging sink a little deeper chronicjot 18 june 2 2020 june 3 2020 marjojo2015 leave a comment i press my eyes into the pale blue sheet imagine it s the sky that holds me duvet rains posies like a capsized cloud in frida kahlo colours the whole wide world is upside down my throat remembers ancient chants recites in tongues long dead or colonised until i realise they aren t mine to sing i let them die heart holds a galaxy of want where crooks in politicians stocking masks escape responsibility for the disasters they created we let them where ceos with almost human faces worship their riches dismantle our earth for loot use people s backs as stepping stones we let them too disguised as rainbow devotees they wave their profiteering flags while others bleed and trust pandemics will slay minorities the poor the sick the elderly but never them when finally they drop from stately heights into polluted seas the rescue boats they ve long denied despairing refugees will pass them by time to return the sky to stars and mountain tops to bean stalks birds and atmosphere oh let us breathe and build a world where care comes first and we means truly everyone and our splendid earth we ve got work to do chronicjot 17 may 10 2020 may 11 2020 marjojo2015 leave a comment ado thought a thing naught thought some more ought do a thing did did a thing phew ding is done ding done thing i thinged a do did a do did too did did do a thing ________ thing i did for bethlem gallery 4 8 may https www bethlem open school remote com blog chronicjot 16 february 21 2020 february 21 2020 marjojo2015 leave a comment when i bought candy apple coloured spool heeled shoes from money i d received for a birthday treat i launched a tradition of subterfuge last year i ordered pumps in shamrock green decoy for bumblebees and failed surrogates for barefoot strolls through flowering meadows the birthday blues is on me now and i realise the hope i might one day walk out of this static life of mine is nearly gone no use fanning its flickering flame with a new pair of flats how can i still believe there ll be wildness again climbing of hills scaling of coastal paths art making book reading and abundant in the world time when m e remains contested people with chronic illness are often told to think positive we re shamed when we falter denial won t get us better though our straits are dire with minuscule energy we advocate at whichever level we re able we donate from meagre incomes to fund research educate doctors carers nurses where we can that we have to do so on and on and on is wearying beyond measure yet in spite and against we keep a sleepy eye out for pleasure chronicjot 15 february 10 2020 february 13 2020 marjojo2015 leave a comment i most fervently want to write when m e comes close to untethering me those times when fatigue crashes down like a tidal wave primal as a sea god s wrath and my soggy self swirls off with shoals of plastic bellied fish when speech runs out completely when vision gets so vague that the parakeets outside my bedroom window look like lime green smudges when turning over even breathing is a chore and words issuing from the radio normally the last resort turn into gristly morsels an alien force presses down my gullet when all i need is silent twilit rest and that is the hardest loneliest best writing doesn t anchor it s more like wearing water wings in a thunder storm a token gesture toward lifeblood and connection and a wink to beauty a bit of good news gave me a boost last week my poems bond chronic and hues appear in wordgathering a journal of disability poetry and literature audio recordings are attached enjoy https wordgathering com vol13 issue4 poetry michell chronicjot 14 february 1 2020 february 3 2020 marjojo2015 2 comments on better days they are never good you get dressed for two three hours you don your velvet skirt say indigo blue stitched with red orange yellow blooms and sage green stalks summer left a calling card you revel in colours as if lying on bed not in required the wearing of sunday best no shoes though hardly ever shoes and no one but your sparkle hearted carer sees stunning hues aside the downward slope from dawn to night is hewn in stone and you deteriorate without diversion fatigue s thin mantle sports deep pockets crammed with nausea vertigo blurred vision and breathtaking lashings of pain worst the steady cognitive decline by the end of which you are all ear yet can t make sense of what you hear occasionally your bedroom s prickly hush is ruffled by the wingbeat of wood pigeons ascending from the narrow garden only to mould itself again around you faithful to a fault chronicjot 13 january 17 2020 january 20 2020 marjojo2015 5 comments trips to hospital though planned with miserly precision sing in the world time gracious turns from strangers elate and continue to resonate during the gruesome weeks you re stuck in aftermath mode the waiting room is huge its ceiling several storeys high which lends a slightly corporate air while m fills in forms you stretch out across a row of chairs eyes closed to pointedly bright lights and headphones on lest nearby drilling noises deracinate your weary self you re quite snug there so much better than a blanket on the floor and rest easy until you re seen a young nurse tends to you with almost radiant kindness her face soft and open like a child s hardly a prick when she inserts the needle as the scanner moves you glimpse her on the tube where gargoyle mouths fizz bigotries has she learned to sit quietly pay no heed will she speak meet people s leery eyes will someone rise sit with her raise their voice you hold your breath for her five stops three two allahu akbar safe soon chronicnewyearjot december 24 2019 december 30 2019 marjojo2015 1 comment these times need strongly worded wishes may we be thoughtful and judicious in the coming year and wary of the rule of corporations may we stand up even lying down to violence and power over may we connect with joy and renounce populism s lure may we tear down walls launch rescue boats make people safe may we learn to care for the earth our beautiful abode full speed ahead let us acknowledge the privilege secured through centuries of exploitation and colonialism and finally make amends may we delight in difference without forgetting what we share high time we tackle racism classism misogyny ableism homo and transphobia with everything we ve got let each and everyone have plenty to thrive on and a place to call their home may treatment for m e perhaps a cure move within reach let us make housing food free healthcare meaningful well paid work if able and generous benefits if not art and education everyone s due love too we re all citizens of this singular magnanimous world let s work together to preserve it happy new year to you chronicxmasjot december 20 2019 december 23 2019 marjojo2015 leave a comment ️ ️ ️ ️ it s that time again fraught holidays beckon and the year will turn once more without cure or treatment for m e in sight the election results feel like a bereavement my relapse spurs its own grief can good wishes refresh the spirit the best possible christmas break to everyone and warm greetings to those who are housebound bed bound or simply all round struggling to people scraping by on wretched wages or sleeping rough to permanently tired folk overlooked and disparaged folk downhearted and hopeless folk for crying out loud but never saying much lonely folk serene and anxious folk juggling striving angry folk mournful quietly aspiring boisterously desirous folk contented or happy too may no one feel excluded let s vow to challenge prejudice and bigotry wherever we encounter it may your holidays be filled with care joy and if that s what you crave festive connection love to all ️ ️ ️ ️ chronicjot 12 november 22 2019 november 23 2019 marjojo2015 leave a comment first visitor in five weeks and five days yes i counted in need of reassurance that the depth of my desire for face to face communion with a friend is fathomable sadly i could hardly speak and i d swear my eyelids creaked like rusted door hinges for a wee while we held hands and conversed in chopped m utterances soon my spasms became expansive and then as if someone had flipped a switch pain levels surged nausea ripened and breathing felt as if i lay under a mound of earth visit over my head brims with imagined sociability with poetry readings exhibitions picnics in parks i travel to paris regularly louise je viens and the pub i drink at on special occasions has a sofa with my name on it in this universe care and compassion abound and labour wins the elections you wouldn t believe how much i smile posts navigation older posts blog at wordpress com chronicjots blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed chronicjots sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy chronicjots subscribe subscribed sign up log in report this content view site in reader manage subscriptions collapse this bar loading comments write a comment email required name required website design a site like this with wordpress com get started