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ocal friends as well as distance ones have been very supportive and i m so grateful for their love and understanding while this is not something i d want anyone else to go through i guess it s unavoidable that some of my friends have and they are so empathic with me that it makes me want to be like them god help me grow through this and become more like mom and my wonderful caring friends peace hope posted by lee at 7 36 am 2 comments friday october 15 2010 call me inspired there is great news in blogland today david mcmahon of authorblog is back this was so exciting that it made me want to blog something too that s something i ve not done in quite a while i m sorry that i was away for so long and i ve no idea if i ll be able to keep up steady and regular posts but since i ll be following david s blog with near religious regularity i ll surely be more inspired to write something too my last post talked about my mother s stroke she has spent quite a while in the nursing home wing of john knox village the retirement community where she and dad live right now she s in the hospital having had another stoke last sunday this one has affected her left side we are taking things day by day this is scary it doesn t matter how adult you are or together your life is the thought of losing your mother is enough to bring you to tears attending the healing service at church this past wednesday helped so did telling my friends and church lots of praying is going on i m blessed to have sandi as a friend she and i had a chat about how to handle this and it really helped on the work side of life i finished the 2010 census job back in september it was a lovely experience and one i ll always remember with fondness it seems to have given me a desire to work on mission oriented jobs so when a friend of mine told me about a training program to create a workforce to convert the nations medical records from a pen and paper system into a modern database i jumped at the chance to help out i ve been accepted into the training program and will take 6 months of online classes onsite tech support is the job i m aiming for since that s where my work experience and education fit best i ve also kept my relationship with pearson education and will be scoring for them from time to time mom s birthday is the 23rd of october and if i don t need to hurry down there before then i ll be going to the rio grande valley to see her and celebrate that day with her she ll be 87 it was going to be a festive gathering of her family but my sister found reason to go down this past week so i may be the only daughter in attendance that weekend that s okay i ll spend lots of nice uninterrupted unhurried quality time with mom we ll visit with her friends play games with dad and others and just chat i couldn t ask for a better way to spend a weekend peace hope joy posted by lee at 12 47 pm 5 comments tuesday june 22 2010 a rough 6 weeks on may 14th mom had a stroke it happened during the night and she woke confused disoriented and weak dad took her to the emergency room where they ran a bunch of tests the result showed that she d lost some cognitive functions and a bit of peripheral vision they moved her to the full care section of the retirement community my folks live in my sister and i ve been down to see her and will go again sometime next month it s somewhat reassuring that mom dad live in a really good place where the care is excellent she s getting at least 3 different types of therapy cognitive occupational and physical to try to get her eligible for assisted living it s going to be a few weeks before we know if she will be able to do it but she is making progress last report was that she is stronger now and her memory functions are improving there s a list of things she has to be able to do before she can qualify for assisted living and mom s ticking them off as she accomplishes them one of the hardest things for me is the feeling of disconnect i m experiencing for several years now i ve started my morning by working a jigsaw puzzle and emailing it to mom with a short note about how things are going in my life now that s stopped because there s no computer in her room at the care center i call but they have to go get her from where she is to bring her to the phone if she makes it to assisted living there will be a phone in her room instead of at the nurse s station on the life in san antonio side i m finding work more stressful these days it isn t as much fun and since the census is heading into the last stages everyone is polishing up their resumes i recently went to a sneak peek movie screening and saw despicable me which comes out in july it s a really good kids flick with a heart warming ending it s funny too my face just kept smiling bigger and bigger all through the movie i ve been dong some minor repair things around the apartment my vacuum cleaner has a new belt and the bathroom has a new showerhead the stray kitten living on my porch had gotten pregnant but the baby didn t survive however that little girl is letting me pet her now and sometimes seems to want petting more than the food i m not sure she ll let me pick her up yet and in honor of my friend susan with a nod to jeremy who took me to the yarn store i ve started learning how to knit i bought some yarn needles and an instruction book and cast on 50 stitches which was way too many for the length of my bamboo needles never the less progress is being made i ve pretty much gotten the hang of the knit stitch and am now practicing the purl stitch jenny and i took a lesson at the yarn store this past saturday and i learned how to hold the yarn in my left hand which is much faster but i need to practice more because i don t think my stitches are as even with that method if i get good enough to actually knit a real item of clothing i ll be delighted and probably never give this up hope you all have a good 4th of july peace hope joy posted by lee at 7 11 am 6 comments tuesday march 09 2010 in the quiet places added in a couple of items to the tiny lifestyle changes today one i ve been doing for a while and it is working well for me the other is a suggestion made by my associate rector matt and it s the kind of thing that would work for me if i did it regularly so i m going to make the attempt to do that too the one that i m already doing is from my pastoral counselor he suggested that to handle stress and anxiety since it was keeping me awake at night i should turn over to god the things that were bothering me most he suggested a journal but i m just doing it in prayer i ve been negligent of my prayer life so this is a good way to get back in the habit of talking to god when i was a new believer i used to fall asleep reading his word i sort of miss that comfort and i hope this tiny step will lead me back to that or at least to more consideration in the quiet of the evening when i m lying there trying to shut down my day last sunday matt gave a really good sermon that included 2 midrash that may not be spelled correctly and it s not the plural form he told us during the sermon but i didn t get that bit down one of the midrash talked about the space between the lines of text in the torah being the place where the true meaning was to be found then he talked about the name of god as it is in hebrew yhvh which is never spoken and what the sound might be if we did try to pronounce it without the vowels that christians have added in it sounds sort of like breathy sounds that one hears the ph sound the h sound maybe some of the s those where you are exhaling strongly i kind of laughed when he first did that and tried to say it without the vowels it sounded like a bit from harry potter then as his lesson continued i came to think the breath sound might represent the breath of life that god gives us or that energy which was sent forth from god when he made the world if that s what we find in the quiet spaces maybe it s a good idea that i go back and reread my priests sermons so that i can reflect on their teachings and gain what is between the lines of text and that s the second item i added into tiny lifestyle changes peace hope joy posted by lee at 7 25 am 8 comments saturday february 20 2010 reflection did i see the light if you ve read my blog a lot in the past you know i like to think back on things and see what effect they ve had on my life this is a skill i learned late in life it was something i had to do for some college classes and believe i m much the better for having gained it the process was called reflection reflection has given me lots of awareness on how things affect others too when i was a child i didn t spend time analyzing other people s actions or emotions until it affected me and then it was usually a frenzy of trying to look at why they did or said whatever it was that had hurt me so badly that s not socially helpful but it let me express my angst till i d owned it and come to a better understanding of the situation thankfully i ve grown some since those anxious teenage years these days i try to understand the other person s needs or behaviors based on what i know of them and not how i feel it helps a bunch because i ve come to love harmony in my life a gift from mom and hopefully that longing for peace and harmony makes me more of a peacemaker than an irritant to any situation i run into this morning i was reading an article from webmd that talked about a study researching the effects of darkness on people s behavior it said that when the room is darkened not lightless but dim light or people wore sunglasses they might behave in a less ethical manner i found that very interesting and suddenly i was imagining what i might say to a child who wanted to wear sunglasses all the time because he thought it made him look cool because another kid he knew wore them and he thought that kid was cool i guess our teachers were right you shouldn t wear sunglasses all the time since the eyes are windows to our heart and mind if someone feels you can t see what he s thinking or feeling he feels anonymous and can thus act in ways that might not be right but won t be attributed to him because of that self perceived anonymity i think i can understand how a kid might want to be anonymous if he s constantly being corrected for things he does we probably all experience times like that as adults too but knowing this means it s important to look people in the eyes to really know them that it can t be done by just hearing their words without knowing the emotions behind them or maybe the experiences that have generated their response to a situation that s not always easy to know even when you do look someone in the eye but it gives you the opportunity to ask them for more so that they can express themselves and feel heard i think that s called active listening today and we all know how much we want to be heard when we are struggling i want to go back to that darkness article and think up some more ways that it can affect us so i guess i ll find a friend i can discuss that with or maybe my counselor since he s good at role play too if you read the article on darkness and come up with any insights i hope you ll share them peace hope joy posted by lee at 9 35 am 5 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom help end alzheimer s in honor of vivian schaeffer is it alzheimer s get a web ribbon followers tiny lifestyle changes don t economize on dumpters mailbox trips don t grab the closest parking space drink green tea more often decaf if you hear a speech or sermon reread it in text for reflecting if you move a pile of paper toss some of it need chocolate bakers semisweet works rediscover the public library replace burned out light bulbs w cfls replace desk chair with balance ball take pills with kefir cultured milk smoothie take the camera everywhere unplug the coffee maker when not in use use chocolate mix w calcium in coffee when your head hits the pillow give up to god the stressful and anxious things music moves me i heart your blog from my spiritual sister san friendship blend warm and comforting this is from sandi fun to read award from my good friend san thank you shine on award offered by snagged from the shining mrs san beautiful heart award beautifully awarded by the beautiful sandi beautiful inside award from my heart friend san sharing the love award this more than giving award came from sandi you make my day award sandi loves handing out awards i love posting them e is for excellant award this wonderful award is from san paschal and sandi blow me a kiss award got this award from sandi you re the best gf blog archive 2012 1 april 1 clean but tired feet 2010 10 november 2 october 1 june 1 march 1 february 3 january 2 2009 50 december 1 november 4 october 2 september 4 august 3 july 6 june 5 may 2 april 9 march 2 february 6 january 6 2008 109 december 6 november 7 october 7 september 3 august 13 july 18 june 12 may 6 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