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Text of the page (random words):
eart i don t like that boy he s always getting mad at something he s speaking the creole my relatives have spoken in america in secret for all these years i pause and listen to the language that i heard growing up all my life as it gracefully transforms into the language of the majority about the water taxi it s bouncy and tumultuous almost as scary as the gambian boat it s takes will power for me not to vomit on the other side of the water on the mainland awaiting us is my pops quick fofana family flashback sometime in 96 pops gathers my brother my sister and me and says i m going back to sierra leone i ll be back in the fall he never comes back momdukes holds us down the last seventeen years is a mix of resentment indifference and finally acceptance back to the present pops is waiting for linds and me mix feelings i want to feel like screw you for not being there but i don t feel that i feel happy i want to see my father he helps bring our luggage to his car he goes sidik you remember this don t you and oh my god i do it s the mercedes benz my pops bought in 1990 our family car in the states he had shipped it to sierra leone except now it s completely ratchet the coat has faded into brown rust the transmission is hanging out the dashboard barely functions it s a huge punch in my gut if i could scan a picture of the car for you as i remember it i would you would see the glistening mercedes logo my brother and i smiling from the back seat playing with the automatic windows now i m in the middle of sierra leone looking at this beat up shell of a third world car this rotting symbol of our nuclear family gone kaput it hurts i want to cry i want ask daddy this is what you left us for this this diminished quality of living i want to cry and say i don t understand dad please explain it to me instead i smile and say yes i remember we re riding through freetown pops is showing us the sites lindsay s in the back mum lots of shantytown living some roads have been remade by the new president but most are full of heavy potholes let s put it this way sierra leone makes gambia look like park avenue pops tells us that things are picking up after the civil war and i ask if he remembers the civil war and he says oh yes i ask did you see anything scary he pauses and says yes what did you see i ask i am a seven year boy again asking his father questions he says amputations soldiers cutting off hands and feet why i ask the evil of war he says the rebels would cut off hands and say that was the hand that voted for this president go back to him and see if he can put it back together dad drives us to the hotel the country lodge it s a nice hotel so much to think about i feel up and down my stomach tells me it s from the turbulent speed boat ride but my heart says something else p s we are moving from the hotel to stay with my pops no internet so days eight through fourteen probably won t be posted in real time posted by unknown at 2 56 pm 5 comments older 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