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corporate closet corporate closet musings of an lgbtq catholic with a long history of wrestling with his demons saturday april 25 2026 last sunday s doubting tomas late post i didn t get around to posting this last week last sunday was divine mercy sunday and the gospel was about the doubting didymus or thomas those two themes resonated deeply in my retired heart i had anxieties going into retirement which i posted previously a lot of it stemmed from financial security issues aware that a regular inflow of resources would suddenly be halted though i have saved some invested some for some future cashflows i still felt that these weren t going to be nearly enough i had lots and lots of doubt but hearing what jesus said to thomas incidentally my namesake blessed are those who have not seen yet believed i felt that he was telling me that as well he was assuring me that even if i have not seen the evidence of financial security i should believe that he will provide then i thought of the divine mercy and realized that the prayer ends with jesus i trust in you i really doubted jesus i really felt i was going to be all alone to handle all this uncertainty and last sunday reminded me to believe to have faith to trust him as i should have at the start i felt this great weight lifted from my sagging shoulders and i continued to pray for more faith more trust and not be the doubting tomas any longer posted by closet case at 8 04 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday april 5 2026 officially senior and retired i just realized this is my first post for 2026 i got caught up in the winding down of my work and planning for my big 6 0 bash last february but all that came to pass now and i am officially a senior citizen retired corporate slave as well it s april 5 easter sunday pasko ng muling pagkabuhay and that s exactly how i feel newly resurrected alive again beginning a new chapter of my life i turned 60 end feb and threw this big party just because hahaha all that in another post but truly my corporate life ended last march 26 thursday as i said goodbye to the office of 9 5 years i flew to taipei the day after and stayed there till march 31 alone so i don t really consider that as start of my retirement then it was holy week in manila until today and i decided that i was going to travel to the beach house this afternoon against the tide of the travelers returning to manila and true enough there was this huge traffic on the opposite side of the road especially going into sbma it took me just 3hrs and 20mins to get here a new record i got here in time to enjoy the perfect sunset the fitting welcome to retirement cc banner i ll have more time to write about this new chapter of my life i am excited as i still feel young and there is still so much more to do and experience posted by closet case at 8 55 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday june 29 2025 pride 2025 parang ang daming ganap sa bayan sa mundo impeachment middle east war pero syempre react tayo sa mga latest achuchuchu nila mama renee and mother ricky reyes they are vehemently opposed to same sex marriage though dapat civil unions pagdating sa pag aari pag usapan na lang daw sa palagay mo ganon kadali pag usapang ang ganyan para sa straight naman raw talaga ang kasal i grew up with them as prominent gay celebrities out in the open practicing their crafts so stereotypically labeled as gay i didn t look up to them they were not role models for me but somehow they managed to give visibility to being gay both positively and negatively i must say that they are survivors and even thrivers for like it or not they have the financial capability and stability most everyone wants so i have to give that to them considering how harsh the environment was when they were just starting they made it i am disheartened by their stand but not surprised a large part of surviving in a very homophobic metro manila in those times was to be compliant to the acceptable norms of being a deviation a deviant that meant sticking to those careers and all the stereotypes the comic relief the clown not rocking the boat or challenging the powers that be including the catholic church just stay in your little corner and you ll be allowed to survive and even thrive decades and decades of these and you internalize those values very strongly yes internalized homophobia i wish they weren t given a platform but in this day of clickbaiting and content that kind of pov was exactly what those who produced wanted maybe it serves the purpose of bringing internalized homophobia out in the open calling it out discussing the counter arguments yeah the benefits of democracy i hope their statements become irrelevant though i know this will be fodder for anti lgbt activitists but i do know that in adhd world another one will serve as tea very soon i am proud to be gay i am no longer in the corporate closet and like them i have reached a certain level of stability and comfort coming out is no longer an issue for me but i do know that it still is an issue to many many people out there and my heart goes out to each and every soul struggling with this looking for safe spaces we just watch delia d the musical starring phi palmos yesterday i had loads of fun just made me think that even if it was a story of a drag queen who enters a reality talent show it touched on coming out of being authentic when you realized how much of you is actually a farce i still have that impostor syndrome even at work and you catch yourself thinking exactly that as you go through the motions i am glad to be retiring soon i ll have less of those the call to be authentic is a sound you will hear lifelong like an onion every layer you peel off reveals another maybe your sogie is just the first part but it won t be the last don t beat yourself up for it everytime your aware self sounds a bell to be more real and true you have just grown up again and that is a reason to celebrate happy pride posted by closet case at 11 30 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday january 5 2025 body dysmorphia 2025 edition a t the close of 2024 i was loathing how my body remains as undesirable as when i started the year and to think the work circumstance that i have blamed as the sole reason for this figure changed around early july all the reasons for stress eating disappeared with the new role i did make some progress from that time till october i lost 4 pounds but november personal activities and the december holiday bingeing put brakes on all that and i quickly gained back what i lost so i am back where i started back to making resolutions for 2025 but i am putting my money where my mouth is i am investing in fitness with this elliptical machine purchase and maybe just maybe i can sustain the caloric deficit needed to get rid of the belly and other unwanted fat why an elliptical machine my knees and other joints can t take the impact of running anymore as much as i enjoyed running outdoors previously i couldn t do this anymore without hurting myself and suffering for days i just do walking nowadays but i can t sustain the brisk walking needed to bring my heart rate up oh and did i mention that i have osteoporosis a little slip from running can lead to a bone fracture i just want to feel good about myself again by fitting into my old clothes or by not seeing and feeling this buddha belly here is my nth attempt sigh posted by closet case at 2 08 pm 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday december 27 2024 sunset of my career i have started counting down the days to my retirement from corporate life i will be looking back at a career of 40 years spent mostly in pharma marketing wasn t it just yesterday when i was a graduate listening to the speech of pres cory aquino after 2 years of being a fledgling university instructor there was the stint at the ad agency then with a project of the doh then finally landing in pharma marketing with all the highs and lows of a career in marketing i have fared well methinks i would like to believe that i have created value tangible and intangible in that time span i have built a pinoy brand from zero benefiting millions of filipinos at risk of developing nerve problems i have contributed to many other brands successful campaigns i have managed and supervised hundreds of people i have taught and trained hundreds more and i have made many decisions good and bad i have learned from all of them i wish i could mouth off life lessons spontaneously but i can t i lack that ability to distill into verbalized learnings my experiences so i won t be writing any tuesdays with cc anytime soon though i have reached that point of financial stability i still worry about how to sustain living and lifestyle after that last paycheck one medical emergency can be debilitating to the savings real non cash assets may not easily convert to cash when needed income from leases may not always be regular the worrywart in me can paint so many dire scenarios at one point i wanted to pursue a doctorate degree but that would be a drain on my savings hence total rest post retirement may not be an option i am entertaining a return to the academe teaching and research with a side hustle of corporate training development but definitely i want a break from this corporate life i d like to wrestle back control of my time of my life and be answerable to myself largely so much has happened in my life that has left me exhausted but fulfilled yet so much more will happen i can imagine but i ll stop imagining for now let me just end this by saying that eventually corporate closet will totally disappear no longer in the closet no longer corporate posted by closet case at 1 11 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday august 18 2024 pagpili ng bigas and coming out i m so happy to share a new acquisition this still life by ray gomez i ve been looking for a hyper realistic still life but featuring food or food items for a long time i wanted this to adorn the living dining of the halfway home manda condo for a while i was looking for seafood or fish as subject even galunggong or tinapa i even took this pic and i wanted to commission an artist to render this art pieces featuring still life not very common lately so i have been on the lookout for years now and finally a trip to a gallery in edsa shangrila yielded this beauty by ray gomez and the subject bigas rice grains in a bilao strikes a chord on my heart strings i was a freshman in up when a series of events led to my coming out to my mom it was a particularly hot saturday afternoon and she was in the kitchen in front of a bilao of bigas such as this cleaning the grains of tiny stones and black grains as she talked to me she calmly asked me about my friends whether they were gay nanay yes they are we are all gay i finished the sentence for her pause deep breath are you okay with it do you want to seek counseling she asked no need for that nanay not anymore i would have wanted that before but i am ok now i am relieved that you already know the conversation went on about how she accepts me and loves me no matter what i am and how she still wants me to have a relationship with jesus i look at this piece and i am taken back to that time a time when i felt how lovingly nanay accepted me her gay first son the humble task of pagpipili ng bigas will always be special to me posted by closet case at 2 27 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest older posts home subscribe to posts atom search this blog the archives 2026 2 april 2 last sunday s doubting tomas officially senior and retired 2025 2 june 1 january 1 2024 7 december 1 august 1 july 1 april 1 march 1 january 2 2023 5 december 1 november 2 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the other sauna ce for central escalator supposedly very well established until i started getting comments f who d be scared of an intimi date with a fabcaster i got the permission of some of the fabcasters to publish this email thread it shows what fabcasters do on a dateless weekend lol feel fr a peek inside this is my oblation simple theme powered by blogger