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year third trimester third year trying to conceive twelfth year uncategorized parenting right now posted on october 7 2021 by meridith there are so many new parenting hurdles with 11 one of them is the lack of initiative in the morning before school brush your teeth is met with just a minute and go get dressed is followed with a slight eyeroll and a tone she s cuddling at night and texting during the day she s wearing ripped jeans one minute and a tank top for a much younger child the next some of her friends are going through shit and she alternately sends nonsensical memes and i m here for u messages after one friend texted that he was worried about what would happen if he died we started watching her texts i know privacy and all that but she s also 11 and isn t emotionally mature enough to handle that kind of heavy conversation there s a lot to unpack there and some of it is scary grown up stuff so rather than bring you down on this thursday this almost weekend day i ll leave you with this morning gem rr is the blue block the oh so proud block the i m totally ignoring my mother block i thought she was just distracted but in fact she totally knew what she was up to i ve been eating cereal for 20 minutes yes child yes you have filed under twelfth year tagged introducing rr 3 comments lord willing and the creek don t rise posted on september 29 2021 by meridith i m not a religious person and wasn t raised in a particularly religious family my mother and grandmother were churchgoers presbyterian and methodist respectively how did that happen i wonder my wife is religious although not the service going sort not for lack of trying but i guess compatibility is an important thing when it comes to churches no i m not religious but that hasn t stopped this phrase from being embedded into my consciousness lord willing and the creek don t rise if you haven t heard it i suspect it s the religious version of knock on wood in my family it was always said to ward off doom that the car would have enough gas that the paycheck was enough to cover food and the mortgage that the grades would be good enough to get their oldest out of the house and to college that s me that last one and the answer was barely that creek sure did come close i found myself thinking that phrase often in the last two weeks that my breathing wouldn t get worse or that the kitchen renovation would go off as planned more on that later but mostly that rr wouldn t come down with covid we masked in the house and we stayed six feet away from one another she was tested every three days and negative every time it was this last test that had me close to prayer let it have been enough it have been 14 days since she has been at school 14 days since she has been out of the house for anything except walking the dog 14 days of masks eating alone and no hugs 14 days of every so often tears lord willing and the creek don t rise that last test will be negative and it s finally over that test is negative i ve nearly found religion filed under twelfth year tagged covid19 introducing rr 1 comment they weren t kidding posted on september 24 2021 by meridith when they said covid would make you very sick or that being vaccinated wasn t a sure fire savior to be fair they also weren t kidding when they said that it wouldn t make you as sick you ve got to be kidding somehow despite being masked almost 100 of the time debra and i still managed to contract covid it s that almost isn t it i guess they weren t kidding when they said that masks were practically the holy grail of illness management ten days later and i m feeling better i wish the thousands of dead who didn t have access to the vaccine had had it for the rest of them the ones that could have had it that still don t have it despite having no real reason i can t imagine why they d want to go through this stabbing back pain congestion fever can t breathe no i mean really can t breathe even with the vaccination oxygen is elusive like i said i m feeling better now all except the back pain and breathing i m not going to be walking up the hill outside my house without pausing for awhile i suspect all because of almost they weren t kidding filed under uncategorized tagged covid19 m d 3 comments i m that middle aged woman posted on august 19 2021 by meridith when i was a child my mother went through every diet she could find she was an average sized woman on the thin side always has been but she was in weight watchers she drank green colored shakes that left a film in the sink and grunge on the blender no one could get off she counted calories and took vitamins and pills designed to keep you from feeling hungry she ate salads while we ate lasagna she also ate heaps of ice cream when no one was looking it always starts with your mother doesn t it i d have said i m not that person i take up more space than your average sized woman and i m never on the thin side i don t count calories and i don t eat salads i m bigger than i wish i was looking more like my round father and rounder grandfather and nothing like the sylph like beanpoles on my mother s side it s getting harder to do the things i know i should exercise eating things that are not doughnuts you know i think i care less or i thought i did you see my wife is always in some sort of pain not in a whining terrible way no she suffers silently an aching back a sore shoulder a wince when no one is looking and so when she suggested looking into an anti inflammation diet i was right there with her we embarked upon the detox phase only for her to say halfway through i didn t mean for this to be a diet but of course it is the word diet has changed for me since my mother was weighing her low cal bread meaning more of a habit of eating than an activity but this this feel good and it does vegetable heavy spice packed way of eating is definitely a diet and a diet it reminds me of the whole 30 check and paleo also check but not at all like weight watchers check all of which we tried for a year and abandoned how am i not like my mother i certainly don t tell rr why we re having stuffed portobello mushrooms instead of pasta but the flaxseed is sitting on the table and we re clearly eating more green things than we ever have before we re trying to model heathy eating but are we doing that when we swing so wildly around she is a beanpole herself and i d like to keep her that way if only to spare her the looks in high school the disappointing trips to buy clothing the pinched waist and sucked in belly but then again here i am with my own mother who surely wanted those things for me as well only to fail when i turned out like myself raising a child is ridiculously hard work when you think about it especially when you can t do that over a croissant and coffee filed under uncategorized tagged everyone else m d paleo we re bringing a baby into this 2 comments about that pandemic posted on august 14 2021 by meridith i wish i could say profound things about well anything lately do you ever feel like you re in a crowded room with a lot of very smart people all so clever well read well dressed all of whom can speak so powerfully so eloquently about the issue of the day the month the year black lives the pandemic women s bodies they have children maybe they know all about vaccine rates and trials there s that one women using words you can t even understand to hold forth on portland s autonomous zone and everyone else is adding insights and nuance and there you are you don t have the words probably or maybe your words have already been said you don t have a contribution that makes a difference or that isn t without flaws and holes i m that person and i ve been choked for words for a year now is probably the time to say that the pandemic has done a number on us on me it s obvious right a year of silence both in written word and to be honest spoken words but it hasn t been bleak inside our walls that makes it even harder to talk about in polite company there are problems i ve lost 25 pounds and gained it back and then some my daughter homeschooled and then wore a mask through an entire school year and let s face it will do so for another year she had one playdate it was terrifying my wife hasn t played shows just started practicing recently only to see the probable end of practices coming down the delta path there has been isolation mentally and physically but and here s the polite company part which dear reader you are not there have been some good things that outweigh the rest i hadn t had a migraine until this week a throwing up horrendous kill me now migraine this week the week before i go back to work in the office i know you know this isn t a coincidence i ve been at peace more calm less stressed slept better woke up happier you know all the things you aspire to when you re re evaluating life since i ve been working at home now i m crying in the shower throwing up in the toilet and picking up habits i thought i d left behind i return to the office on monday and even typing that makes my heart beat faster i d love to keep this feeling having my wife and daughter close with the same salary in the same town without having to work in an office it seems like a tall order though especially given the freedom my job typically holds new boss some questions i ll be working two days a week from home for now and i m holding on to that like the proverbial drowning person i feel like i can t get any air and i m sinking so if i m without anything to say you know why i m an indifferent texter or i d tell you to text me even you who still thinks you are polite company i m usually great with anonymous penpals not so great with anything else lately i hope you can forgive me filed under uncategorized tagged coping covid19 m d 8 comments please vote posted on november 3 2020 by meridith if you re in the u s and haven t voted early please vote today filed under uncategorized tagged vote comments off on please vote a covid halloween posted on october 27 2020 by meridith how long did you trick or treat if you re in a place that does that sort of thing what age did you stop dressing up if you don t have younger siblings did it all stop a bit earlier i ask you see because this is rr s tenth halloween i feel like she only has a couple more before she becomes the weird older kid who shows up solo to get candy it seems like the kids with younger siblings are able to trick or treat much longer than the ones who go alone or in a group of older kids and yet this halloween there s no trick or treating for her maybe most parents are letting their kids out but mine is in physical school and i don t want her bringing her who knows what germs to every person who opens their door i also won t be opening my door because i don t want to hand out candy to kids in the middle of a pandemic last year there was a terrible storm that almost canceled halloween if a storm could do it a pandemic most certainly should so we re taking her to our close friends house an almost pod if you will for a two family halloween party we re a big halloween family so this both breaks my heart and delights me i ve always wanted rr to have a halloween party my birthday is the day before my mother s in november so i always had halloween parties instead of birthday parties nice mom and i have very fond memories of them i don t have any judgement for the folks handing out candy or going trick or treating in fact i m partly sorry i won t be home to participate it makes me sad for the kids that are going that there might be fewer houses definitely there will be fewer in our neighborhood where there are signs up recommending the kids participate in a socially distanced parade to show off costumes and get candy also can we talk about ready made costumes for pre teen girls it s a whole other world there s are jokes about putting sexy in front of everything for adults sexy dorothy in the wizard of oz sexy nurses and so on this year my kid wanted to go as an angel but guess what sexy angels she went with a dark angel whatever that is which turned down the sexy but still you guys next year i m making her costume filed under eleventh year tagged covid19 holidays introducing rr 2 comments school at home posted on october 19 2020 by meridith i don t make the mistake that we re homeschooling and by we re i mean my wife is and by homeschooling i mean coming up with lesson plans teaching and ensuring work is done in a meaningful and lasting way on the other hand she is taking the comprehensive work plan the school sets out and making sure it s done properly which is no small feat i think if we were homeschooling in the true sense it might be a little bit easier since we would have more flexibility on due dates and might know the material better but on the other hand we would have to come up with all this stuff learn it and teach it so let me tell you i think we re getting the better end of the deal well i am anyway as i said my wife is doing all of the teaching while i m doing a lot of the working she s balancing work and rr s school and she s planning on going back to school herself so we ll end up shifting yet again this entire year feels like it s shifting constantly i hate to throw it all on 2020 but man it sure feels like a shitshow anyway school at home is hard mothering is hard wifing is easier these days i hope that s a shared opinion at least the basement flooded a bird died in the heater we had to replace all the cold water pipes suffice to say home owning is hard 2020 is hard what else is new filed under uncategorized tagged covid19 m d 1 comment armpits posted on september 22 2020 by meridith just stop now if you are an armpit person i suppose you can take that any number of different ways the person who loves a nice ripe subway ride in a new york summer the person who enjoys a pleasant meander through the scent fields on a particularly amorous afternoon i m not judging you but if you aren t an armpit person carry on my friend i d wager my nose is more sensitive than most and while i ve weathered my fair share of pungent predicaments i never thought i d be contending with one in my own home there is nothing quite like a brand new set of pre adolescent hormones to create a scent soup that wrinkles the nose and waters the eyes i understand the trouble with anti perspirants but is it too much to ask for a deodorant that does its job i understand i m asking it to work extremely hard and i don t mean fresh as a daisy no smell ever ruin your daughter s self esteem hard i m just asking it to mildly take the sting out of the air dancing tactfully through this landmine while preserving said self esteem is no walk in the park it s level ten parenting i don t want her classmates to ridicule her but i also don t want to give her a complex after trying many different kinds of deodorants remember armpit people we agreed you would stop at the top we ve finally found one that maybe m...