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around his cap and the esa insignia on his left arm there was a murmur as he went by not quite a growl nevertheless enough to make him turn round and say is it my fault they put me in this job and he smiled as at some rather bad joke of fate and everybody cheered him my friend and i went off to get some lunch how long could it go on the exultation and the solidarity the students had been calling for a general strike but the general strike had had not occurred both of us were uneasy true there was no danger the crowds were too big at 5 00 i was exhausted and went home past the side gate on stournara street where somebody behind the railings called and handed me a list of surgical instruments this i gave to a doctor friend on my way down again at 8 o clock hostilities he said had broken out and the police had begun to use tear gas something i had never smelt i ran down sólonos street no buses here now either people were hurrying back up the street with crimson eyes wet faces handkerchiefs pressed to gulping mouths i asked one boy what time the tear gas started he croaked they re doing it all the time time now to wet a handkerchief someone in a café gave me a glass of water a hundred or more students at the stournara gate were still shouting slogans hoarsely through night air grey with gas and acrid with the smell of bonfires the megaphones on the pillars were broadcasting instructions lemon juice on the eyes or vaseline don t use water keep fires burning in the street behind the gate they shouted doctors we need doctors i ran to exarcheia square with someone running beside me to find a telephone booth the two of us phoned till our stock of coins ran out then continued in a coffee shop where money could be changed the shopkeeper got angry with us for taking so long and then with someone else trying to relay the same message the shopkeeper told him to stop the man called him a stooge the shopkeeper chased him out and grabbed him by the lapels and shouted stooge do you dare call me a stooge back at the stournara gate i passed on the word that two doctors were already on their way as it turned out however both of them tried in vain from 9 00 to 11 00 to get in by the main gate it was the students themselves who wouldn t let them through already men in long white hospital smocks over their police uniforms had made their way in and begun to suffocate the place with tear gas radio polytechnic was now broadcasting appeals for priests as well as doctors no priests came i was on my way back to the square to phone more friends and get the word around when i felt that familiar clap on the back in the dark three friends of mine running to their car come with us niko s buying food halfway up stournara street a band of demonstrators were trying to set up a barricade with pieces of wooden crates and anything they could pick up in a vacant lot near by soon we were driving back with bags of provisions some of these we passed in to the students at the side gate the rest i shoved in through the small grilled window near pavement level on patissia boulevard that for three triumphant days had been functioning as the receiving centre for supplies someone shouted up through the window not any more food we need throat medicines there was no longer one massed crowd out in the street but separate groups of demonstrators tending the bonfires and shouting slogans still in unison with the young people gripping the railings now some time after 10 00 there was one huge new placard on the gate when the people aren t afraid the tyrant gets frightened the first ambulance arrived it took a long time coming wounded students were carried out through the gate and hustled in i caught a glimpse of one bandaged head with a big red blob in the position of the eye socket i had lost my friends in the side street i was alone now not responsible to anyone i knew it was better that way just a wide avenue full of fires and a kind of freedom in the dark i crossed to the corner of averoff street some fifteen young people were huddling there behind a corner shop bullets began to spit and crackle on the pavement a few inches from our feet someone cried they re trying to get us from above government snipers had installed themselves in rooms on the fourth floor of the acropole palace hotel across the narrow street there were a few minutes of absurdity perhaps when the individual is without a weapon absurdity takes over none of us in any case had seen the killing further down averoff street about forty minutes earlier still those young people found time to shout a four beat slogan do lo pho ni murderers assassins as if words could matter now somebody on a motorcycle charged down the boulevard we shouted to him not to cross the line of fire bullets were hissing past from down the street i think he made it though perhaps not at the next intersection and then for all our shouting five out of our group tried one after the other to dash over to the other side the first got a bullet in the eye three drew him back picked him up and rushed him across the avenue another stepped out and was shot in the stomach three days later i learned he was dead the next fell with a bullet in the wrist and yet a fourth for all our pulling would run out he was shot in the throat three quarters of an hour later radio polytechnic announced his death inside the surgery the pavements gleamed with blood how much of it can empty out of a human body in a space of minutes now three of us were left and still one the fifth witless confident or panic stricken put out his leg to dash across and a bullet hit him in the ankle as he collapsed the other one and i hoisted him up and slithering on the asphalt with the hot gush of his blood pulsating over us lugged him across the boulevard to an ambulance where he was stuffed in on top of a lot of others again through the tiny window a dizzy glimpse of bloodstained bandages figures writhing and groaning and others in white smocks shifting bodies into place i didn t know that the drivers of certain ambulances also had white smocks over their uniforms and that they drove the wounded and the dying not to hospitals or to the first aid station but to the cells and torture chambers of the military police out in the street here now the tang of combat in the nostrils the smell of smoke gas gunpowder and no more alternatives years of collective boredom had given way to a few minutes of individual responsibility a fierce wild quiet concentrated feeling of release it would have helped if i had a weapon or could have saved someone the way many people did that night all i could do was move quickly perhaps reach someone in the foreign press to get the word out of the country fast who how and where could i find a telephone the buildings on the avenue had all blacked out on stournara street still some demonstrators there one lighted window shone i ran into the building went up in the lift pounded on a door it opened a crack on the safety chain and an elderly man poked his nose through i asked for his phone no he said but give me numbers and i ll do the calling i scribbled some names and numbers three well known athenians on purpose to impress him it worked ah mr and mr yes certainly he said and closed the door but he made the calls one floor down i pressed the buzzer of another flat the door opened wide somebody cried your leg i was wet from the waist down with the blood of the man shot in the ankle i m all right let me phone someone else in the hallway said but who are you i risked telling my name not possible the man exclaimed i ve known of you for years from and was going to bring me to your place once here telephone i called one friend he recognized my voice and gave me the number of a foreign correspondent the man was out but as i told the story to his wife i could hear her telex sizzling like fried eggs underneath my narrative what can you see she asked and i shouted her questions to the others standing in the window looking down onto the polytechnic area out of the darkened room how many ambulances have come twenty in the past twenty five minutes do you see signs of police or army formations massing for a raid nothing at the moment i m asking because we were out on alexandra boulevard half an hour ago and we definitely saw troop formations all we can see is a few groups of demonstrators are the police obstructing the movement of the ambulances yes they re throwing tear gas into some of them i asked where i could reach her husband and she gave me the name of a hotel you ll find his cameraman there in any case i called the cameraman and urged him to get as close as he could but surely it isn t possible to go out into the street now there are still people in the street and i m going out myself i said just then a stout bearded theatrical looking man walked past me out of the flat exclaiming angrily in english why do you talk so long i went to say goodbye none of us are going out of this flat tonight said the man who had recognized my name and in a lower voice these are all relatives of my wife business people a bit of useless perversity kept me there a moment longer a thousand thanks for letting me use your phone i said to the young lady who had opened the door to me that s quite all right she said and do please excuse the inconvenience it doesn t matter as i hurried out i saw in the next room framed between sliding panels four older people seated round a table playing cards so down into the street again out into the thick stinging air under the streetlights grey with the smoke of bonfires burned out stragglers in the avenue no longer shouting shouts still coming from the thousands massed inside the polytechnic forecourt one husky voice still frantically calling news and proclamations over the megaphones against a distant roar a bunch of teenagers clustered at the corner of stournara street called out tanks are coming over the top of an empty bus barricading the avenue at the next intersection the floodlights of the tanks fanned up in stiff white rays criss crossing fingering the surfaces and windows of the apartment blocks to drive people from a ringside view there seemed to be time all of us at the corner ran to push another abandoned bus further out across the boulevard we pushed and heaved somebody jumped in to let the brake off but we couldn t move it we ran back to cover tanks or it may have been armoured cars diverted off the avenue were hurtling along third of september street one block down then the farther bus was rolled over like an empty bottle the polytechnic megaphone called into the street friends supporters do not abandon us now after that everything was noise the tanks came thundering and rattling and squealing down the avenue the young people around me cried there is no danger they cannot fire on us they re our brothers soldiers children of our people and one last innocent called out we ll win them over with truth and justice i lost my temper and shouted at them idiots they re not your brothers why should they care for truth or justice six years they ve been trained to kill run not one of them moved nor did i i had to see what the tanks would do at the final moment we didn t get the chance the tanks roared past us fast and steadily deafening immense black blunt interruptions one after another the soldier standing in the eighth turret waved to us from round the corner a cataract of troops helmets and lifted clubs fell on us panic swept us in one body straight round into the first apartment block into a small bright lit corner between lift and stair one or two may have struggled up a few steps before they were caught backwards under the lightning web of clubs that knocked us to the floor down low where boots could aim directly into faces kicking from far back stamping from above on necks and the clubs a zigzag crackling of brilliant yellow varnish down up down up down onto immobilized and tumbled bodies little faces dark under the helmets barely recognizable as human i tried to duck and shield my head under one arm but the first blow broke a bone in my hand the other arm flew up over my head but was immediately wrenched aside and clamped outstretched then the clubs came crashing on my skull thunderclaps regular methodical uninterrupted now me at last not just that picture in the newspaper not just me looking at a newspaper and no pain either nothing compared to the flesh tearing humiliation of all those canings back in school marvel at the hardness of this bone this brainpan marvel at what it s possible to bear then one fist grabbed me by the hair and yanked my head far back and after that clubs swinging smashing against my throat no sensation vision blurred where were others i was alone lowering myself down three steps toward the door outside in the middle of stournara street again a bystander still a few last bystanders in the dark before the gates were opened for the exodus said blood s running down your head yes fingers wet with it at this time the tank was getting into position before the polytechnic gate but i was heading in a different direction in another street a car was driving very slowly past a taxi i got the words out take me with you hop in front there were others in the back the taxi drove on then slowed down as we approached the corner of exarcheia square about fifty police officers were standing there under the dim light badges of rank in silver bars on their black uniforms the taxi stopped the front door opened a police officer tugged me out by the arm where were you where where where were you raging voices close up to my face where were you the taxi was driving quietly away mission accomplished a moment s indecision the terror of choice what could i pretend i was covered with blood they were already emptying my trouser pockets punching me in the face one officer snatched away my purse there s a comic side to everything while out of the other pocket fell tucked inside my residence permit a leaflet marked down with the lunatic i reeled back from a sock in the jaw and tried to play a role but what have i done to you quite gently someone gave me an upper cut but it didn t hurt and once again still gently in the tone of somebody respectable caught in a case of mistaken identity i said what sort of behaviour is this between the punches yes the fists were human but my face was wooden i warned them i had epilepsy and it wouldn t go well for them if but now two groups of officers had me by the elbows others were knocking me on the head and giving knee blows in the genitals until the pavement rocked and hit me in the face and they picked me up again and threw me from one to the other middle aged with looks distorted by memories of the civil war and all of that so long ago and forth and back socking and spitting the two words bugger peasant peasant bugger bugger luckily i was too weak already from concussion to put up a resistance to the knuckle agai...