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what s yours truly danscir52 copyright 2014 dan christensen all rights reserved posted in uncategorized permalink leave a comment 18 feb 2014 mrs crawford i remember my elementary school had a small staff besides the cooks and custodian there was no librarian music speech and reading teachers split their time with other schools there was just the principal mr cooper and the secretary mrs crawford every month i stood in a line that stretched along the inside counter of the cramped office and sometimes into the hall that s how we bought lunch tickets mrs crawford took cash or check 5 which later went up to 5 20 she never asked for my name but quickly wrote it in her small uniform cursive across the bottom of the palm sized ticket if i had been a day or two late bringing my money mrs crawford took out her lunch punch to make the ticket reflect how i was in the black again i watched her go through the same process with other children in line she seemed to keep all our names and accounting in her head at lunch time we lined up by class and handed our tickets one by one to be punched by mrs crawford who stood in the hall by the milk cooler she then bundled each class tickets with a rubber band and returned to her desk behind the glass wall of the centrally located school office passing by in the hall through the years i watched her type or carry on other office business sounds muffled by the glass during my monthly visits inside quite in keeping with the near silence mrs crawford seemed economical with words i knew her voice but she usually spoke through her work she knew me i knew she knew my parents i knew i could depend on her to be fair i trusted she was taking care of me and my siblings in every way that was within her power and she was always there there through my elementary career and those of my little sister and brother i don t know who manned the office when my older siblings were grade schoolers oh yes there was another service mrs crawford performed for the school she played the piano for our singing programs and rehearsals the teachers would wrestle their large classes of us baby boomers onto the multi purpose risers then our tall long limbed close cropped dark haired secretary clad in white blouse dark skirt and flats would appear in time for the down beat come to think of it those were some of the few occasions i saw her in the auditorium gym cafeteria she usually held down the office while the principal supervised lunch or convened the rest of the school interestingly like her work digs mrs crawford s house sat on an exposed street corner at the center of our lds ward there were no privacy fences for the front or back yards seeing what was going on at the crawfords could be part of any car trip from home for a few years we saw her at church too on sundays where my father who was bishop called her sister crawford she played the prelude and hymns for sunday school it is the sight of her at the piano and strains of music that come to mind her husband never showed at church i have little impression of what he looked like i have a suspicion he was why mrs crawford asked to be released from her piano assignment my father said she told the sunday school superintendent no one listened anyway she stopped attending after that the crawfords had two daughters rhondalon the older who was reserved like her mother but fair and as elegant as her name and sharon the younger who was a little awkward and rough at the edges after graduating elementary school and junior high sharon and i rode the same bus and ended up in the same high school speech class she had not grown into her wild dark beauty she voiced rebellion in her speeches later that year she had a baby mrs crawford left her job at the elementary school to raise her new grandson i don t know but i think i sensed a certain joy driving by as she tended the baby in the yard the family barbecued and sat out often under the now mature trees across the street neighbors visited in the lawn chairs i continued to travel on that street until i graduated from college five or six years after that one sunday afternoon in early summer my wife and i attended church with my parents our baby was restless so i decided to lull him in the sunshine with a soon sleeping infant in my arms my stroll took me three blocks from the church i took the shaded path to mrs crawford s door retracing steps made as a deacon and boy scout when i carried the envelope inscribed jones crawford her husband s name soliciting donations except now i was a student grown up and a former neighbor i said something about walking by thinking of her as a long ago friend she invited me into the small square front room i looked at family photos she told me her grandson was a tall handsome teenager that he had moved in recently with his mother and new step father but that she still kept his room for him they were very close her older daughter was accomplished no visible regret that she and jones had divorced she had taken a position as an administrative assistant at the school district office i told her my recollection that she had memorized the name of every student at the school she said she thought everyone deserved to feel important i don t remember if i thanked her for her music i have since lived long enough to have grandchildren of my own i hadn t thought of mrs crawford for many years but this morning her story popped into my mind it took me a while to remember her first name barbara i didn t find an obituary on the internet but it looks like she died in 2010 at eighty three it was there i found the spelling of her older daughter s name i described most of this today to church men finishing a point about redemption i left it for all of us to ponder how the story applies find what s yours truly danscir52 copyright 2014 dan christensen all rights reserved posted in uncategorized permalink leave a comment 09 jan 2014 from a conforming citizen the honorable governor herbert speaking as the oldest child and trustee of my parents estate my 66 year old sister described her frustration at my lack of marital and financial success why didn t it work for him dan had all the advantages offered the rest of us yes my parents supported my schooling i was given music lessons had my teeth straightened i was driven to part time and summer employment they attended my concerts and plays they supported my lds mission my marriage to paula as another 29 years later briefly to barbara was as much or more celebrated compared to those of the other five siblings but i was an obedient son citizen i kept myself hidden i stayed properly ashamed not necessarily inspired by my sister s statement heard through another sister four years ago i have made concerted effort to come out of the closet as a gay man i have had frank discussions with my lds bishops and stake president i have had professional counseling along the way while reading the introduction to carol lynn pearson s no more goodbyes circling the wagons around our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters i allowed myself the possibility of unconditional love i believe this to be the most moral thing i ever did it is immoral of society to pressure people like me to hide and or ignore ourselves what have you as a citizen of utah missed out on because i have been doing what i was told to do it is immoral of society to not give the children of gays and lesbians the same standing as other children i have stellar offspring who only now as adults are dealing with the realities of having a gay father but how much better for them if they could have grown up with the truth and without stigma it is immoral of my church to insist god loves me except it was immoral of me to believe it be moral governor herbert recognize me my children and others like us as full human beings full participants in society you might risk your position in your party but you are poised to be an emancipator the people and institutions of utah including members of the lds church need you to take the lead sincerely dan christensen find what s yours truly danscir52 copyright 2014 dan christensen all rights reserved posted in uncategorized tags children of gays and lesbians gay fathers permalink 1 comment 18 dec 2013 what s happened to hattie hip hip for hattie it was the winter of 1962 1963 in the chapel of the 9th 21st ward rosa croshaw with music leaders from the rest of the stake convened a large chorus to begin rehearsal for a new church musical set a hundred years before the script fictionalized the story of building the salt lake theater one of the songs rosa introduced that night depicted the pioneers excitement as the theater neared completion my older sister and i sang from the east side of the chapel i was only ten karen was teaching me to read chorus parts for the first time the tenors and basses on the west side including many high school boys became increasingly rowdy during the song rosa smiled patiently as they laughed at lyrics that described ingenue harriet s stagestruck state for poetic purposes the authors had us sing a diminutive form of the character s name i thought my fellow singers laughter was a cue that the song was very silly then suddenly kent wallis jumped to his feet taking command of the west section of the chapel kent gestured wildly and shouted the phrase we had just sung hip hip for hattie karen sensed my bewilderment and explained they re making fun of hattie morrell last wednesday i was working with kathleen blair president of a relief society that shares our building we talked in the cultural hall as we finished a project she had begun with the people in her branch kathleen grew up in brigham city and went to usu in the 1980s she described being in english class one day when her instructor a logan high alum regaled his students with a horror story about diagramming sentences with hatchet face morrell his high school english teacher afterward kathleen approached the instructor and watched his grin dissolve she thanked him for insight into her aunt hattie s logan high teaching legacy as the man apologized she sensed it had been a foreign concept that this old maid school fixture came from a family that she was loved that she was a real person i then asked kathleen if she knew the worst how at the start of one of hattie morrell s last years at logan high the maligned teacher happened to be outside when the lunch bell rang she was knocked down and trampled by students running from seminary the business building and the boys gym of course as a member of the family kathleen knew this my brother roger an upper classman then reported on the incident at home i would never have her as a teacher miss morrell retired at the end of my sophomore year two years after returning from her long recuperation but i do remember overhearing a smart pretty sophomore classmate who took english from miss morrell that year the girl respected the seasoned teacher s knowledge appreciated the individual concern she gave her students but couldn t help cringing at the decades worn dresses and the condition of her teacher s hair perhaps those not angered by miss morrell s lack of attention to fashion felt obliged to be embarrassed about it for her here was a woman whose reputation was never neutral apparently her actual grand niece kathleen looked beyond the style less orthopedic shoes she grew up adoring her aunt the two exchanged letters weekly wherein aunt hattie often recommended books for kathleen to read i credit her for my education kathleen is aware of others among her cousins who were similarly fostered kathleen sketched some of the family s broader history before hattie morrell was born her parents set the tone for her unorthodox position in society they entered into a polygamous marriage in the logan temple sealed by a prophet after the manifesto had officially banned such unions hattie was the eldest of their children born in 1902 when her mother was thirty four her mother mary ann daines morrell then gave birth to hattie s twin siblings lillian and lyman not long before her father english immigrant joseph morrell died at the age of fifty that was 1906 logan high was founded in 1917 i wondered to myself if miss hattie morrell could have already qualified herself as a teacher for the new school however i found online that both hattie and lillian attended utah state agricultural college in the mid to later 1920s neither hattie nor lillian married and made their home with their mother until she died in 1952 hattie s job provided for them lillian kept house then this morning while my bishop described the start of this christmas season it hit me that hattie s is a christmas story she had a message perhaps grammar and syntax wouldn t have saved our world but it certainly helps and she was an outcast her story reminds us that those close to a misunderstood person often comprehend that person s value it reminds us of each one s worth as a member of heavenly father s family after testimony meeting i brought up with kathleen my thought that hattie was an outcast she asked for more details about the trampling incident at logan high we both wondered how those students could have done such a terrible thing kathleen compared it to the story in 2nd kings 2 23 24 where god allowed forty two children who had ridiculed the prophet elisha s bald head to be killed by she bears kathleen is a tender hearted person and for years the idea of executing innocent children bothered her finally she realized that the children reflected their parents disrespect and it was a problem in the community that the behavior would be tolerated perhaps a terrible tragedy was the only way the adults would look at themselves what s happened to hattie during the 1980s and 90s as young parents kathleen and her husband dell lived in logan besides sharing her beloved great aunt s last days kathleen assumed the role of opening aunt hattie s house as relatives came for her personal property the executor then invited kathleen to take what she wanted and dispose of the rest she chose hattie s collection of children s books probably two thousand including many first editions kathleen said hattie and lillian had regularly added built in cabinetry to keep their possessions organized there goes a working woman s budget for clothes as part of cleaning out kathleen tackled banks of drawers along an entire wall dedicated to linens tucked here and there within the folds of tablecloths napkins sheets pillowcases kathleen and her young son discovered the morrell sisters petty cash adding up all the small denominations including a multitude of two dollar bills they retrieved eight thousand dollars perhaps hattie morrell also lost track of what she was worth find what s yours truly danscir52 copyright 2013 dan christensen all rights reserved posted in uncategorized tags english teacher misfits old maid school teacher old teacher polygamy 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