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Text of the page (random words):
diary of a psychokiller take a trip with me to the darkside skip to content diary of a psychokiller menu about contact take a trip with me to the darkside suburban witchcraft magazine issue 1 june 8 2022 robertcday leave a comment originally posted on suburban witchcraft magazine warm spring greetings to all it delights me to say that issue 1 of suburban witchcraft magazine is now live https issuu com suburbanwitchcraftmagazine docs swissue1 suburban witchcraft magazine issue 1 featuring poetry storytelling photography and art from all around the globe from inspirational contributors we hope that you will enjoy this creative snippet suburban witchcraft magazine issue 1 and bonus one of my poems is featured tagged suburban witchcraft denial of mental illness december 25 2019 psychokiller leave a comment when i was about 15 one of our teachers maybe mr pinnock economics told us that by the age of forty or something like that twenty five percent of the people in that room would have received psychiatric help for some kind of mental illness and i remember thinking that is not going to be me and it was not i have held on to that thought my whole life i have looked at my behaviour my moods my rants and raves and thought not me and it has prevented me from seeking help and still as i type this i am thinking no i am not going to confess to being mentally ill i am just not i believe in the power of belief i believe that i am what i think i am i believe that if i believe that i am mentally well then that is what i am and it stops me from talking about my mental states and i can feel myself resisting the urge to talk about them now not me right now i feel down i feel dark i feel dull but i know that these will pass by tomorrow or the day after i will feel up light and sharp i always do i just ride up and down these waves i dip and i crest nothing new so in a sense there is nothing to tell you this is a no story post except that it s christmas and those around me have to cope with me they have to cope with my silence they have to deal with the blank expression on my face they have to come to terms with my terse replies and i cannot imagine that it is easy for them and yes i know that i should snap out of it and i know that i could if i wanted to but i do not i am waiting for what for the mood to lift all by itself ha i just noticed the grammarly tone detector at the bottom of this text i am typing it comes in the form of an emoticon when i hover over it i see the text i get a message here s how your text sounds sad so there you go enough said mission accomplished merry christmas tagged cycles in denial mental illness psychiatric help sadness self awareness statistics they re on to me january 22 2018 psychokiller leave a comment cut all your ties to this site they are on to me you know the procedure take a hammer to your drives and burn anything you too late they are he tagged destroy everything paranoia justified they are coming when love is not love january 2 2018 december 25 2019 psychokiller leave a comment i am not concerned for myself but when i think of all the twinkies out there who are hanging these words as sung by justin b then well actually i am still not concerned cause if you like the way you look that much ohhhh baby you should go and füç k yourself and if you think that i m still holdin on to somethin you should go and füçk yourself today i went to the top of the hill and screamed her name into the wind just to see if it felt like she said it should it didn t she and i inhabit different worlds tagged justin bieber love is not always love love yourself sreaming the top of the hill is a metaphor alien land january 2 2018 december 25 2019 psychokiller leave a comment on a calculated whim i read the following thought for the day the world of your mind is filled with peace the world of your eyes is filled with love and the world of your heart is filled with truth then nothing tagged alienation heart i don t need peace because i m empty enough already love means nothing to me nothing peace thought for the day truth jb has to go january 29 2017 december 25 2019 psychokiller 6 comments reading serious literature lights me up darkness does the same i went to the river at midnight with a torch i took a book better to be out in the dark and know i was there than to wake up in the morning and not know not remember sitting reading in a corner tall fences behind me but far enough behind me that that i could not have heard a voice from the other side i heard a voice i knew that there was no one there i would have seen them walking even wrapped up in the tiny pool of light alone with the book i would still have seen them the voice told me that jb has to go i start preparations now tagged dark fence go jb light literature reading voice giving in january 27 2017 december 25 2019 psychokiller 4 comments there is night time and then there is darkness my nights are shrouded by something blacker than the absence of sun they call it impulse control i have none i am giving in there are urges that i do not understand i do know that these impulses call to me under the cover of night i do not remember what they tell me i just hear the echoes of their whispers you do not want to experience waking up in the morning on the sofa with no clothes on it is not appropriate for the climate my skin was blue a hot shower helped with the shivering but the rusty looking water falling into the bath disturbed me then there is the matter of the washing machine i needed to wash towels the machine was already full i did not fill it i did not wash those clothes i did not empty the detergent so that there was only enough for these towels why is the machine making this grinding noise what is caught in the mechanism i need to watch myself more closely but how tagged black clothes cold darkness detergent grinding memory night washing machine watching if justin bieber were to die january 26 2017 december 25 2019 psychokiller 9 comments there is a darkness in justin beiber s eyes he claims that he is not afraid to die what if he were to disappear into his own darkness and never again emerge should we mourn or should we say that he has gone to a place where he feels more at home i pray that he loves himself more than he seems to it would be a shame if the dark and lonely path he is on ends in silence tagged darkness death die home justin bieber lonely mourn silence the fall january 26 2017 december 25 2019 psychokiller 33 comments if i had a pill to take away the shadows it happened again last night i almost never used to dream just a scatter of shattered images in shades of red and black i tried to turn on the light but it became darker if i could only take a sweet medicine the shine of her eyes with the mask of my face reflected in them she seemed to want it even more than i did she didn t struggle her face haunts my dreams more often now if there was some way to stop this is a darker dance we turn gracefully now with eyes closed and fall in slow motion as the floor swallows us pray you never experience the fall pray hard my friend tagged black cure darkness dream fall haunt pill pray red struggle swallow the fall sleepwalking in the dark january 25 2017 december 25 2019 psychokiller 16 comments i begin to suspect that i am a sleepwalker when i showered this morning i found a dark brown substance crusted around my fingernails and deep scratches on my face part of me hopes that the two are directly related but the fact that i have no nails speaks to some other explanation i have no memory of anything but deep dreamless sleep i trust you understand me tagged blood crusted dark dreamless scratches shower sleep sleepwalkiing posts navigation older posts search search for blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed diary of a psychokiller join 57 other subscribers sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy diary of a psychokiller subscribe subscribed sign up log 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