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Text of the page (random words):
alidations and evaluations have made us lose the essence of who we actually are it s an intriguing question because i personally have never thought about it before i have always thought that the way people perceive me or whether they find me likable is more important than how i perceive myself and whether i like myself or not we might tell ourselves that we are content with how we are but every time we check our phone for that one message or call to come we feel anxious it feels weird when we don t find any new notifications because we feel left out it feels like you have no one to talk to no one that needs you or no one that is willing to spend time with you maybe this is why we get so caught up on someone or something when they give us the littlest of attention we are scared to be alone unwanted and disregarded and we are willing to compromise with whatever we can get although deep down we know we deserve better because it is better than being alone to come to the point i mentioned at the start i feel like god forces us to be alone because he wants us to understand ourselves and to be in tune with what we want and who we really are yes it is very hard to be alone because it feels like there is no one beside us that is supporting us or that we are unwanted and ignored but maybe it is a lesson that we need to learn the hard way in order for us to truly realize who we are and what we are and what we truly deserve sometimes i think god forces us to be alone in order for us to learn that we are more important than what others think of us to tell us that we are more than what people think of us we are more than the amount of validation and attention others give us it means nothing if we are not content from within i myself don t like being alone either because i don t like overthinking and falling into the deep pit of misery but when the night comes and the notifications stop coming and everyone is in their own world and you are all alone sitting on the balcony watching the city lights it makes you realize that at the end of the day you have nothing but yourself you have no one but yourself you are the only one that will stay by your side till the day you breathe your last you are the only one that will be there on the happiest days and the darkest nights so maybe we should start trying to love being with ourselves maybe we should start taking ourselves seriously maybe we should consider the way we perceive ourselves and our validations to be more important vahcee poetries leave a comment 8th august 2023 3 minutes the end of a beginning there is no way to start something that never had a beginning i am also having a hard time trying to write about something that makes me this sad but there is no specific reason why i should be sad sometimes in life there are moments that feel like it could ve meant so much more only if it had the chance of happening i have had my fair share of heartbreaks due to failed relationships breakups whatnot but this time i feel helpless i feel a tug in my heart that i cannot define there are times in life when you meet a person that you know would have meant so much to you if they gave you the chance someone that comes into your life just to give you a hint of love leaving breadcrumbs all over for you to pick up and hope on it feels more miserable because they are not yours but they give you just enough attention to make you believe that they can be yours someone who comes to lift you off your feet and twirl you around and as soon as you start dancing to the rhythm of their heartbeat they stop abruptly they leave you wanting for more starving you of the littlest of affection that you could possibly get they give you the perfect idea of how good your love story would be and suddenly you are blinded by the what ifs they throw your way the idea of a perfect relationship they make you imagine and the next thing you know you start building castles in the air you start longing for their affection their attention just to be robbed of them blind by the ignorance they feign you start contemplating yourself and whether you are too much it makes you question whether you are suffocating them or maybe you are being too needy and clingy and finally at the end they leave because that is what they do they leave and you are left to pick up the pieces of the imaginary happy ever after they promised you it leaves you feeling like you were the one who chased them away with your demands but they were never demands it makes it more harder because it made you believe that there was a potential leaving you with what ifs what if they were the one what if it worked out what if they were my happy ever after what if it was the ultimate end game what if they loved me and i was the one that ruin it so many questions left unanswered so many plans that never come to fruition a beginning that never started an incomplete masterpiece an end that never started a person that was never yours but could ve been yours a closure you will never get for something that never actually happened the end of something that never began vahcee poetries leave a comment 8th august 2023 2 minutes soulmate i met you in my dreams in a distant land far away i have never seen you before yet somehow i know how you felt like every bone every ligament of your being was designed in likeness of mine the thought of you brings a wave of nostalgia like we had already met in another lifetime perhaps we have a history perhaps it was just a dream or perhaps perhaps you are my soulmate vahcee poetries leave a comment 19th june 2021 1 minute him your careless gaze the perfect mole on your chin and the devilish smile that could kill as you effortlessly brush your fingers through your hair you don t know what they do to me you don t know what you do to me you you make me feel alive and for once this chasm in my heart feels less overwhelming vahcee uncategorized 2 comments 13th june 2021 1 minute meeting my first love one fine spring day the sun shined bright and the spring air blew ferociously as if it was taking me back in time to a past that was hidden somewhere in my memory it s been two years since the last time i saw him we had a special way of meeting after every two years coincidentally not planned not promised but there was always an exact gap of two years every time we met i walked through the crowded street to see a man standing near the pavement waving at me almost a decade had passed yet i still felt butterflies in my stomach like i did when i was a school girl i smiled as i walked up to him he smiled back at me as he shook my hands we walked up to a small street food stall to buy snacks we sat there and as we talked i realized that the man sitting beside me was still the same as before the young 15 year old boy bursting with energy fearless and spontaneous i laughed as i watched him talk as his eyes sparkled with enthusiasm as we waited for our order kids wearing our school uniform came in groups laughing with no worries of adulthood it reminded me of us and how we were so clueless about life and how we loved carefree without fear of the world as we walked through the same streets we walked when we were kids we saw a young boy walking his girlfriend home and we realized it was the same kid we used to know when we were in school it surprised me how big he had grown and how times have changed we reached our friend s place as we sat on the couch he slowly hugged me from behind as he leaned on my shoulder i was surprised but it felt so normal he told me to let him stay like that just for a while just for the day you never know how different things might ve changed after two years he said i slowly put down my guard as he leaned on me and we stayed like that silently remembering how close we used to be and how close we still felt as the day ended and it was time to go home he hugged me swiftly as if he was scared i smiled because i needed that hug we slowly walked behind our friends like we were wishing to stall the time he held my hand as we walked towards the end of the road where we were to go our separate ways he clutched it tight perhaps he didn t want to let go because i knew i didn t want to but as life goes we were bound to let go and go our own ways we eventually reached the end of the road as we let go of our hands the wind blew strongly like it was a premonition to go back to the present he walked away from me and i went the opposite way i turned to look at his figure slowly fading into the distant waving me goodbye as his childish smile bade me farewell i looked into the distance and smiled as i slowly turned back to go my own way whispering under my breath see you again after two years hopefully song recommendation for the day vahcee uncategorized leave a comment 12th march 2021 2 minutes a rainy day and a hot cup of coffee it looks like there will be a heavy rain today the sky is completely dark and cloudy i personally love rain so i am feeling good rain is so amazing the way rain can make us feel so cozy and nostalgic at the same time i find rain so calming yet chaotic the soft drizzles you hear from your window pane is like a lullaby that puts you to sleep i also find many inspirations to write on a rainy day it makes me feel like its my emotions that is pouring down i always wondered why rain has this effect on us it makes us feel so nostalgic and sad yet comfortable and warm at the same time maybe the rain and its drops of water that drizzles down are the memories of people or things we once knew but have already forgotten as i sit in my bedroom with only the light from my laptop and the whole place dim because of the weather the only thing i know that i need right now is a hot cup of coffee and a perfect netflix series and my favorite blanket for a perfect rainy day what is your perfect rainy day combination do let me know anyways i will be meeting my bestie later in the evening for his birthday party so i hope it doesn t rain too much happy birthday hempops i love you oh and a song recommendation for today is pictures of girls by wallows vahcee uncategorized leave a comment 3rd march 2021 1 minute the struggle for finding a part time job as a college student stuck at home with low internet speed as my title says it is really indeed such a hassle to find the perfect work from home part time as a college student with zero work experience and bad internet i have been stuck at home for the past seven months and it has been a series of surprising events being home is only good until it s been too long and you feel almost stuck and suffocated and not to mention the financial problems that you have to witness therefore i wanted to start a part time preferably online well because of the pandemic as we all know my search for the perfect part time started last month but as the days passed by it seemed like it was almost impossible to find anything and also remember me mentioning how bad the internet is at my place it gets on my nerves most of the time so it added more to the problem of finding a work i watched zillions of youtube videos on how to earn money online and honestly i don t get why people make videos on how to fool people just to get views and in turn earn money ironic isn t it well as i was saying i tried almost all of the tips and tricks they promised would get me money but at the end of the day it was all useless information there was not even one tip out of all the videos that actually helped me my search for online part time jobs hasn t stopped yet hehe i am still searching for the perfect job for a college student stuck at home with a bad internet vahcee uncategorized 4 comments 26th february 2021 26th february 2021 1 minute pandemic paranoia i have been really distant and inactive lately with my blog maybe because of the enormous pressure of college and trying to keep up with assignments and classes i have lost track of time and space everything is becoming so stressful late night studying and working on assignments unsuccesful attempts to wake up on time for classes and the occasional burnout has been my routine these days life before the pandemic eerily seems so distant and alien it feels as if we ve been living like this our whole lives going out and spending time with friends eating in a restaurant not wearing masks or even having a physical display or affection like hugging and kissing and even handshakes have become something of the past and so out of place all these changes in life has affected a lot of us and is still affecting us i wonder when will we get to meet and go to normal classes and find the joy of going to university or schools again it seems far fetched to say that it will happen any time soon but i do hope we can slowly make our way back to normal life or could this become the new normal vahcee uncategorized 3 comments 12th february 2021 1 minute growing up there s an indie song in my playlist that always reminds me of us not just you not just me but of us i remember how young we felt three years ago sitting under the winter sun blowing dandelion wishes as we dreamt of escaping to the big cities after we graduated from school i remember the smile on your face as you made me promise never to lose contact with you even if we stayed apart i also remember how we used to laugh at the thought of growing old and how confident we were of us now another year has passed and a new one has arrived and it is astonishing how much we ve changed nothing is like how we thought it would be the summer we planned never arrived the wishes we made never came true you re with another in your arms the arms i thought were my safe haven from the cruel world and here i am listening to an old song reminiscing about our yonder days with nothing but bittersweet memories to hold on to vahcee uncategorized 2 comments 17th january 2021 1 minute to you i hope you are doing well i miss you i still do a lot i know i can never ask you why or how we became strangers when two winters ago i was buried inside your warm broad chest as you wrapped your arms around me you were the center of my universe and i yours it is sad yet funny to think about how life turned out to be so different than the one we planned but then again that s just how life is right i am writing to you to make myself feel better i know you might never get to see this note but at least it ll be another reminder to myself about far you are from me now it s getting cold christmas is near but i dread for it to come i don t like winters anymore nor christmas remember what happened last christmas i will never forget the night after christmas when you said those words i prayed each night never to hear it s okay you can stop blaming yourself now i will try to stop blaming myself too maybe we ll just blame it on the universe and its cruel fate we have hurt ourselves too much and i don t want to turn the love to pain and anger it hurts to not hear your voice anymore it aches not to be abl...