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Text of the page (random words):
distorte distorte is a collection of stories written by pierce gleeson archives contact a meeting with the editor a thanks for coming in pierce p i m getting through the changes antony it takes time to remove a whole character i m having to rewrite whole chapters a that s not what i called you in about p oh are we going for lunch a lunch look at this fridge come over here it s behind the desk i m serious get up look in there is it half a billy meat sandwich you re after who do you think you are kevin barry p right sorry i know times are tough a it s the title p the title my novel s title a say it out loud p what a i want to know how you think it would be said p it s just a word like any other nothing odd about it it s just a title briars a it s just not quite there is it p not there a not a title that s going to jump off the newsprint nor the bookshop shelf it s just a boring title p i don t agree it s no worse than any other a these are different times pierce it s a scurry for attention we re all rats trying to reach the last protruding timbers on a sinking ship p that s a lovely thing to say to a first time novelist a you can t assume you ve the attention of the man standing in barker jones he s probably on the phone at the same time swiping p do you want me to think about different titles a how bout i throw one at you we ll play catch p okay go a the vietnamese bicycle repair club p say again a the vietnamese bicycle repair club p but why a catchy eh p is that a serious suggestion a why not p the novel isn t set in vietnam it s set here isn t it in ireland a the protagonist visits vietnam i m sure he does p that s in a dream it s a brief allusion to a dream and it s not even vietnam it s korea a and he rides a bike p again briefly he never repairs a bike though it s nothing to do with the plot a we re looking for titles that grab the browser s attention i won t deny we re following a trend you need something specific a bit descriptive a bit off kilter p but it s a meaningless title it s got nothing to do with a detective story set in the midlands in the seventies it will completely mislead the audience a i m trying to create an audience p can we try another one a okay but wait a moment what if you write in a flat tyre p what a when he s cycling from one place to another you could have him run over a bit of glass or something i don t want to put words in your head then he d have to repair it p write your title into it a it wouldn t even interfere with the plot p i don t want to talk about this did you have any other suggestions something more to do with the book a i had one or two more here scribbled down in my notepad p that looks typed a figure of speech pierce it s the twenty first century okay okay here s a good one p it couldn t be worse a the man who walked up the yard and left the gate open behind him p that s a mouthful a the kids upstairs will make the words look lovely hand drawn letters all over the page p do we mean like metaphorically a metawhatically p like that flavin left himself open to the whole affair by not following procedure when working as a young garda in athlone that his brother s death could have been avoided if he d interviewed everyone he should have after the bank robbery he would have discovered branigan s involvement there and then if only he d closed the gate after him as it were a who s flavin p the protagonist a right no no i was referring to a bit when he s visiting his grandmother s he thinks he hears noises down the yard i distinctly remember that you had him come back up to the house afterwards through the yard gate p so a and there was no mention of him closing it p there wasn t a definitely not i made a note p but but that was immaterial nothing happens it s implied he closed it we never hear about the gate again a won t the reader be intrigued though won t wondering about that gate carry them all the way to the end of the book p look antony none of these titles are about the story at all you re just coming up with meaningless hooks a i m doing my best to get us out of a jam here you could be a little more cooperative p even if this did make shoppers pick us out of a line up would it not confuse reviewers would we not get a rake of terrible reviews what in god s name did they mean by the title et cetera a nobody reads book reviews is it new york city you think you re in is it 1965 will we go have a coffee in new york city and read a literary magazine hahaha p can t we just go with briars i ll let you do whatever you want with the cover whatever it takes to get people to pick it up a listen i ve only given you two so far i ve a whole page here we ll find something p you can have one more go a the littlest garda station in knockcroghery p antony a yes p where should i begin a start at the start we ll see if any of it s insurmountable p well the first thing is where s knockcroghery because it s not in the novel a small roscommon village north of athlone have you never been p why not littlest garda station in athlone since parts of the novel are actually set there a i figured knockcroghery has a quirky sound to it knockcroghery it s quite close by a short detour p leaving that aside why would flavin s garda station be the littlest or the largest for the matter why would any village have more than one garda station a just say it out loud a few times it s got a lovely flow to it p the littlest garda station in knockcroghery a say it again p do you ve any more ideas a the harbourmaster s daughter p no a the busdriver s daughter p no a the bicycle repairman s daughter p no a the chief inspector s daughter p at least that one has some conceivable connection to the plot not that the inspector has a daughter a i knew you d like that we ll go with that so p i m not adding a daughter it ll be june before i ve managed to remove the character you objected to a i mean a woman publican it s just a bit weird isn t it p i never should have signed that contract a the five people you ll meet in knockcroghery p what i don t understand antony is what you re working towards i can get a sense of it i can feel a trend but i can t quite see the pattern a you d have to be a long time in this business before you get a nose like mine you d do well to accept my help p i m open to changing the title i really am anything relevant a sergeant flavin s sweet potato soup sabbatical written by pierce gleeson posted on the 17 apr 2015