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women who do have kids and who are very happy about it in fact i sometimes question how normal it is to have such a visceral reaction to such a natural thing it s been three years since i married and i still don t want kids which is a source of bafflement from some quarters it s almost as if the ring on my finger means baby factory opening soon and so i react to this royal baby sweepstake bobbins with a measure of anger because surely it s nobody s business but will and kate s i wonder what would happen if they decided not to have children it s almost a non option really the vows are exchanged the ring s on the finger ready set reproduce i ve been very secure in my decision to marry and i have never felt that it conflicts overly with my feminist ideals my wedding was very egalitarian we wrote our own vows and obey was nowhere in sight my mum dad and stepdad walked me down the aisle his mum and dad stood with him i took his surname but only because my maiden name was bloody horrible i felt like i d done my best to remove it all from its patriarchal roots and yet i worry now that there is that piece of antifeminist baggage i can t shed the expectation that i must at some point want children there are only so many times i can smile and say no i don t want children and only so many times i can politely ignore the shocked reaction that follows is marriage no matter how hard we try to ascribe new meaning to it inevitably the shackle that ties us to the bad old days is it impossible to remove it from the institution that created it i feel sorry for kate whether she wants children or not she will have to have them at least i can make that choice posted by l mauro 7 comments labels feminism marriage parenthood royal wedding won t somebody please think of the children 21 march 2011 the daily mail knows what s important with all the trouble and tragedy in the world at the moment you d be forgiven for thinking the daily mail might lose sight of the most important news stories fret not dear reader exclusive woman leaves home eats lunch breaking news woman wears dress has breasts don t miss woman goes on holiday wears bikini shocker woman wears same coat as other woman life changing woman wears green dress orange cardigan appalling woman wears clothes is old unmissable woman wears coat has hood up it s nice to know you can rely on them to keep you up to date on the really important stuff posted by l mauro 4 comments labels appearances daily fail why women wear clothes 22 february 2011 lingerie shop to staff wear make up or else i still remember the moment when i realised that virgin s female air crew didn t all co incidentally choose to wear bright red lipstick and high heels i was crushed as if that weren t shocking enough in 2009 the bank of england whom you would expect to have a little more class issued an edict demanding female employees wear make up and stilettos sadly this is just another in a long line of such stories it has been brought to my attention that at least one branch of a popular lingerie chain which shall remain nameless to protect the identities of whistle blowing staff has instructed its female staff that they must wear at least light make up every day or face disciplinary action one staff member who wishes to remain anonymous said that she had been criticised for looking tired when she arrived at work one day without make up on was advised to rectify the problem the next day the same employee also pointed out that the majority of junior staff who had been given the same advice are very young women with many still in their teens is it responsible my informant wondered to tell young women and girls that their natural appearance is not acceptable and that they must alter their looks with make up before they are fit to be seen in public i d say that s a no brainer at the moment i do not know if this is a chain wide policy or merely one shop manager getting a little to big for their boots either way it s a sad indictment of our superficial misogynistic society which only reinforces the idea that a woman s worth is linked intrinsically to har physical appearance nameless underwear shop fail posted by v 4 comments 28 january 2011 loose women is not a valid argument it occured to me that it s actually a crying shame that giles coren s recent piece of obvious flamebaitery and if it isn t flamebait well i don t know what to say except that i know a really nice anger management chap didn t really have anything constructive to say about misandry and it s even more of a shame that what he did say about misandry wasn t in the form of a clear concise argument but rather a slightly pitiful attempt to deflect attention from the wanton stupidity uttered by messrs gray and keys re silly wimmins not knowing football the argument in a nutshell but women are mean about men too in fact they have an entire tv show dedicated to talking about how stupid men are and they don t get taken off the air so therefore what gray and keys said doesn t seem quite so bad okay i may be taking creative liberties with my paraphrasing but certainly that was the gist of it and it really is a shame because i d love to see loose women taken to task loose women represents a stereotype of modern feminism that really ought to be dumped in a skip and left there the derisive giggling at silly men the better than thou attitude not so much i am woman hear me roar as i am woman hear me knock off yet another mildly amusing anecdote about the time my husband was unable to perform insert mundane domestic duty here that my friends is not liberation how can it be is liberation sticking a bunch of women around a table and inviting them to be insulting are we supposed to be proud of this i m not i don t want to be represented as a feminist or a woman by this kind of playground level nonsense but i digress the point at hand here is simply this the fact that loose women exists and is bobbins does not diminish the fact that gray and keys were caught saying sexist stupid things okay it s quite simple misandry exists absolutely although it is not as overtly ingrained into societal consciousness as misogyny and certainly lacks its centuries long pedigree and as feminists we ought to discuss it the much lamented ovenpride adverts are a pertinent example a product of the same culture which tells us women belong in the kitchen with a none too subtle nod to the logical extension of this unpleasant gender stereotype that men having spent less time in the kitchen than their dutiful wives are inept in the ways of domestic drudgery why shouldn t we be interested in wiping out this stupid insulting stereotype it comes from the same place as those we rage about the domestic goddess barefoot and pregnant with hands that do dishes are as soft as her face and on the flipside her useless husband who creates mess for her to clean where sexism against men exists it is often as a result of the same antiquated gender rules which keep teh wimmins in their place divorce courts for example which often rule that the mother should get custody seem to be operating under the attitude that it is the mother s job to care for the kids not the father s which in 21st century britain ought to be considered a highly suspect attitude even odder is the backlash that occurs whenever measures are put in place to ensure father s rights the recent move for paternity leave was met with outrage in many circles and i still hear snorts of derision when it s suggested that men should be encouraged to spend more time caring for their kids why shouldn t they the father s role is diminished in exactly the same way that the mother s role is elevated to an extent which traps women we must stay at home with our children lest we ruin their childhood forever career be damned and the father is simply not a viable alternative because children need their mummy just read the daily mail s femail section for reams of this kind of steaming bullshit unpleasant male stereotypes come from the same place as those that affect women the drooling potential rapist is extrapolated from the idea as supported by nuts and zoo and their ilk that men are mad for sex and think about it all the time the beer swilling buffoon comes from a similar place lad culture as perpetuated by the abovementioned mags and the sun et al in which going out getting smashed and getting into a fight is a good blokey way of passing the time i suppose there are men that are like this but the gleeful acceptance and elevation to blokey role model status makes it almost impossible for men to be otherwise boys don t cry they drink until they puke and gawp at tits because that s what makes them men it is in the interest of all genders that we smash these assertions these rigid gender roles confining us to a small selection of life choices and haranguing us men women trans if we do not conform this is a legitimate argument unfortunately it s an argument diminished by coren his piece smacks of whataboutery and fails to actually make any kind of pertinent point besides complaining about how mean women can be if keys and gray were wrong then they were wrong regardless of what loose women or the ovenpride ads say about men why must it be an either or situation can t the sexism of loose women and the sexism of gray and keys both be considered offensive without being pitted against each other in a neverending war of more offensive than thou whataboutthemenz is a phenomenon in which a debate about sexism against women is opposed with but it happens to men too it s equivalent to a debate about racism being derailed by a white person saying but what about white people people are racist to us too i mean sure that may well be so but what does it have to do with the actual point at hand and is it not massively patronising to suggest that thousands of years of oppression and hardship are equivalent to someone calling you cracker the same is true of gender whataboutery yes men suffer sexism too but can it honestly be comparable to the sheer level of institutionalised state approved thanks religion sexism that has kept women and indeed trans people firmly in the second class citizens category it doesn t mean that misandry shouldn t be combatted indeed i think us feminists should consciously avoid lowering ourselves to insults and stereotypes the very things we are fighting against nonetheless how can there be an intelligent discourse about misandry when most of the people complaining about it are doing so in response to arguments against misogyny loose women may be cack but it s not the same as being told you cannot be good at your job because you have a vagina if coren hates it so much may i politely suggest he petition to get it off the air christ knows i ll even sign it posted by l mauro 5 comments labels loose women paternity leave sexism against men what about the men 13 january 2011 news flash women not people do not have feelings or at least that s what you d think if you spent more than a millisecond in most internet forums allow me to elaborate on new year s eve a group of friends and i went to see one of our favourite bands play in camden not only was it a great gig but by some turn of co incidence we ended up backstage afterwards drinking chatting with the band generally having a lot of fun all in all it was a brilliant night while we were backstage a photographer asked if he could take some photos of us and we happily obliged then tonight we happened across his blog where he had posted one of the pictures the reason we found the blog is because is someone had posted a link to it on the band s forum and later in the same thread someone posted the photograph of my friends and i and that s when we ceased to be people because we were women and we d dared to go out in public we d surrendered our humanity and become objects to be stared at jeered at rated and ridiculed some of the men boys on the forum took it upon themselves to start commenting on the photo reposting it several times making comments about our appearance and ranking us in order of who they wanted to have sex with first i have never felt so degraded and dehumanised in my life and i m a model for fuck s sake it s practically in my job description who the hell do they think they are literally treating us like pieces of meat on a restaurant trolley they don t know who we are they don t know a thing about us yet they feel ok openly judging us on a public forum fuck them did they really think we wouldn t see given that we re fans of the band it s hardly unlikely that we d occasionally go on their official website more likely they just didn t think at all they didn t think about the consequences of their actions they didn t think that we re real people with real feelings that might get hurt they didn t think about how they would feel if they found people doing the same to a photograph of their mothers or sisters let alone themselves it ll be a thousand years in the future before men find their bodies viewed as public property in the same way that women do now no they didn t think at all because it s just a joke to them and that s the saddest thing that in our supposedly enlightened society where i m constantly told there s no longer a need for feminism because men and women are treated equally now people still think this is completely normal acceptable behaviour it s just such a shame too because the band themselves are genuinely lovely intelligent people you would think they would attract like minded people as fans but clearly that s not always the case the only good thing about it is that the sexists are identifying themselves so in future women will know not to approach them with a ten foot pole it s hypocritical really these pathetic little creeps hiding behind the anonymity of the internet talking about who they d most like to fuck when in reality they re clearly such horrible human beings that staring at a photograph is as close as they re likely to get to a real woman without paying her so thanks random internet misogynists for ruining my memories of a great night by way of equality i tried to rank you in order of who s most troglodyte but it was a tie you re all losers update i am genuinely touched by the kindness i have received from people who have read this and got in touch thanks especially to the lovely photographer whose innocent photo got mixed up in this for his support and to the moderators and others from the forum for deleting the offensive stuff and for general awesomeness consider my faith in humanity and music restored posted by v 3 comments labels appearances beauty bodies complete and utter idiocy men misogygy objectifying women sexism 08 january 2011 so there is this horrible little man on twitter i m not going to name him because i m sure you know by now who it is and doing so would rather undermine my message he is telling women that it is their duty to be size zero that to be overweight...