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description=10 posts published by edajvor during November 2017;

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about it the end true to life man because i think i ve finally emerged from the dark cave of baby blues or at least found the exit if i haven t quite made it through the gift shop yet and i don t know what the hell to do with myself now this wip this challenge was the thing that was keeping me going after today i don t know i ll just have to use getting through the holidays as my motivation to keep moving forward until i find something else to cling to maybe i ll put an effort into finishing my nano project maybe i ll start something new either way i ll definitely be doing it from a better mental state than i started this month black sheep of the family friday november 23 2017 edajvor leave a comment for a limited time that being until i remember to revert it the paperback version of my latest book and my winning wip for last year s nanowrimo lay her ghosts to rest is on sale on amazon consider it a holiday special if you will but really i want to buy a few copies for family members for christmas and if i get to control the price i choose to pay less that s why it s on sale rather than on sale there s no real promotion so much as i lowered the price for my own benefit lay her ghosts to rest is my most recent book inspired by my dread and hatred of wakes and funerals and my desire to legitimize my fear and justify my absence from them see everyone it s bad for your spirit to attend these things it s bad for your soul to have one held for you devastation organization commercialization these are all the consequences of your morbid fascination with grief theater and cadaver puppets it s also about recognizing negative patterns and realizing how difficult it is to break them workplace drama relationship drama ghost stuff a kickass apartment complex in a renovated industrial mill that s what s what i imagine that s why many small business owners open up shop just to spend less on the stuff they love going dark for art november 18 2017 edajvor 2 comments i m having trouble with this chapter in my nano wip because it s a mental emotional breakdown scene and i m just not there right now having just resurfaced after a particularly difficult time i don t reeeeeally want to put myself back there just to write about it and the stuff i wrote while i was there isn t enough to make the chapter work so what do i do i tried locking myself in my room turning the sad music up to eleven and getting to a bad enough place to start the chapter but both children were crying downstairs my husband was getting frustrated and i couldn t not go check on my lovebugs i ended spending the next 20 minutes nursing 30 minutes after that playing lego house and then it was just about time for our bedtime routine today i ve got to start thinking about thanksgiving and christmas shopping the projects at work that i ve been putting off because of that whole maternity leave postpartum pseudo depression stuff and cleaning my house since we finally fired our officious cleaning lady how does one find the time to recreate a depressive episode nuts need energy to ball november 17 2017 edajvor leave a comment chapter 20 of my nano wip reads chapter 20 subtitle mc goes nutballs to be written later i got up early i m just tasting my first few sips of coffee i need to leave for a doctor s appointment in less than an hour and i have to take the baby with me nutballs isn t something i can write right now but it s what needs to happen at this point in the story nutballs is just not achievable at this level of momming conversely this level of momming is not achievable while nutballs which may be the point of the story also it may be a weeeeeee bit autobiographical hazelnutballs is about the best i can do smother love for smad boys november 16 2017 edajvor 1 comment what is it about surly teens in crisis that makes my heart go pitter pat that makes me want to smother them with mommy love and make the bad things go away is that a universal thing for nurturing types or is it somehow built into our culture as another privilege for emotionally stunted males hard to say my heart went out to harry potter in order of the phoenix when he was angry all the time and messed up dumbledore s office to let off some steam of the many times i cried during that series that was one of the more intense bouts and that was before i was an actual mom with way too much experience calming a tantruming child last night s episode of riverdale left me with that same feeling that damn kid from the wrong side of the tracks all filled with rage and watching everyone screw him over is cry bait for me fer sure from toni dismissing him as a love interest sad face why does no one love me to archie pulling the plug e brake to lose the race and his homies territory mad face why does my best friend keep effing everything up for me i just couldn t help but want to hug the hurt right out of that weird little nugget i settled instead for snuggling my own little weirdo who arrived home late after falling asleep in the car and couldn t make sense of waking up after dark in his pjs and winter coat oh jughead i said patting his little noggin i love you even if no one else but betty does i didn t really do that i convinced him to take off his coat and go to bed it didn t work and we were up until 11 playing darth vader and batman can t find their families my kind has a penchant for pathos i have a feeling that his teen years are going to be pretty rough on him might as well buy him a crown beanie and leather jacket now so we re fully prepared in defense of jughead november 13 2017 november 13 2017 edajvor 1 comment i too am overly invested in the lives of fictional television characters like a teen with little to no control over their own life who takes ownership of other people s creations and projects all of their issues onto them and then loses their cool when what they think should happen or what they need to happen doesn t that s me in all my middle aged glory because i currently have little control and so i seek it elsewhere in riverdale because i simply cannot handle what s going down in hawkins shudder anyway i m starting to almost maybe recover from bughead s break up as traumatizing as that was because i keep watching the clip of jug and toni s kissy time and thinking man if anyone needs some tlc it s that boy it s the wrong girl i know but a need is a need and boy howdy does jug have a neeeeed look at his broken face look at his broken soul by god somebody kiss that poor boy i m sure the appeal of everyone s favorite modern day romeo and juliet has something to do with just the right combination of writing and mood setting and actor chemistry but there s also the appeal of two broken souls finding their match betty and jughead are both victims of their parents mistakes neither nurtured appropriately both lacking in that fundamental need for acceptance and affection and attention see running on empty overcome your childhood emotional neglect what they ve found in each other was what was is missing from their childhoods and i think that s why their bond is so intense where archie and veronica are love and teen sexuality betty and jughead are love and childhood emotional healing that s why their breakup was so traumatizing for so many of its fans and me i m also a traumatized fan the tragedy wasn t as much that a serial killer split them apart figuratively so far as that the wounds within that had just started healing as a result of their union were violently ripped open again they re both suffering from being stabbed through an existing scab i don t blame jug one bit for accepting a consolation from a girl he thinks is capable of taking care of him she s already started to warning him about sitting alone in the cafeteria helping him at the school paper and in attempting to decode the cipher tutoring him for his gang exams regardless of her actual intent which i ve read may be a bit on the shady side toni is there for him and betty is not right now he s hurt and he s broken and he needs comfort and she s there making dramatic gang family promises to die for him so that up there with the smoochie boochies happened and it makes a lot of sense as does real life drama screws with what s established what s expected and what s best for us throwing us into a pit of chaos and waiting for us to learn the lessons that ll get us up and out jug will learn a lesson so will betty so will toni so will i and so will all the kids out there stressing out over this the struggle is real i know because i feel it too we re connected to these characters because there s a need within us that sees the need within them and it s easier to really understand what we re going through when we watch it happen to others but whatever harshness the writers throw at our favorite fictional characters doesn t have to be a reflection on our character we can make choices based on insight and logic and the advice of our support system whereas they are slaves to their creators and only exist for our viewing pleasure so rather than getting unreasonably angry at actors or showrunners maybe we can take this as an opportunity to imagine or reassess what we would do or have done in similar circumstances that s the point of fiction after all to help us understand ourselves to make sense of life to connect all of humanity through archetypes and the best kinds of stories are the ones that affect us as deeply as this one has similar not the exact same because i m married and nobody in my marriage better be kissin nobody else give me riverdale or let me go november 8 2017 edajvor leave a comment my husband is mocking my excitement for tonight s new episode of riverdale and i m over here like listen the most excitement i get is diaper blowouts and televised drama so back off like he s not going to watch too like he s not gonna enjoy every damn second i m of the opinion that real life drama is best experienced in intervals preferably few and far between i had a baby 7 weeks ago i m good that was sufficiently dramatic what with the race to the hospital and ushering new life into the world and whatnot i don t really need anything else happening in my life to upend it or create more emotion than i m already experiencing as the pregnancy hormones wreak havoc on their way out of my system but i m also bored out of my mind being home all day the solution entertainment televised published streaming you name it and i will consume it i will chew up other people s drama and swallow it with satisfaction because it is tasty delicious and i didn t have to cook it myself so let me have my excitement over riverdale let me watch those beautiful kids fight and solve mysteries and make out and wear nice clothes in messy situations because i probably won t leave the house for two more days and my kids don t solve mysteries not even of the ok who pooped now variety no that s all on me to figure out and it is not as mysterious as it may seem because the answer is inevitably both of them the book no one will read november 7 2017 edajvor leave a comment i m about a day and a half behind schedule and that ain t bad for starting over on the second day i feel like the words will come easier for this wip since it s based on real life but i also think maybe the story will be lacking in commercial appeal it s a labor of love challenge and self reflection that won t sell for shit unless i find the magic editing potion that makes it more interesting but that s next month right now it s just getting the story out in as many words as i can think to use i don t consider it cheating to refrain from any kind of editing that takes away words until after the 50 000 are reached it s efficiency if anything right get it done tomorrow november 3 2017 edajvor 1 comment instead of writing today i played hashtag games on twitter reposted something stupid on facebook took two small children to target and bought a 6 halloween costume on 70 off clearance played legos joined instagram binged on trader joe s garlic parmesan pita chips cut a cucumber into toddler sized pieces braided my hair wonder woman style sorta i tried watched sweet water secrets on youtube looked up the kid who plays adam goldberg on the goldbergs on imdb to see what else he s up to entered a book giveaway on goodreads and a set visit sweepstakes for riverdale watched the good place on my dvr listened to my husband tell me about his uneventful doctor s appointment listened to my son list all the halloween monsters he knows about sat in my parked car at the park with two sleeping children in the back seat just chillin and taking in the fall foliage checked out the nano merch made this list you cry when you can t make it happen november 2 2017 november 2 2017 edajvor leave a comment ugh gross no yuck and that s where wips normally go to die i reread all 1700 words i wrote yesterday and hate about 70 of them because i m pantsing i have no idea what i m writing about no plot no direction no real sense of character outside of the scene i ve written and i m just all blech about it all today s the day i have to decide to keep chugging along knowing that i can edit later or even just scrap the whole thing once it s done and chalk it up to a writing exercise that ultimately helps me understand the importance of planning as long as i complete the word count challenge or i can start something new right now and by right now of course i mean once both of my children are otherwise occupied and not crying that halloween is over and or they need to poop and can t my life is so glamorous update i ve started something new i look forward to the dip in my nano graph it should add some visual interest to an otherwise boring trajectory posts navigation older posts about eda eda j vor is hobby novelist blogger and mombot who likes a little feminism in her fiction if only to make women seem a little more like people she blogs about bias in children s media fangirling motherhood and adventures in self publishing read her my book place author interview here my read shelf my tweets recent posts how do you know you re crazy read queer anti prime day is coming does this make you uncomfortable lament for bygone youth the words nut bars wandered through my mind recent posts how do you know you re crazy july 19 2026 read queer anti prime day is coming june 21 2026 does this make you uncomfortable may 17 2026 lament for bygone youth march 31 2026 archives july 2026 june 2026 may 2026 march 2026 february 2026 december 2025 november 2025 october 2025 september 2025 november 2021 october 2021 september 2021 august 2021 november 2020 october 2020 august 2020 july 2020 june 2020 may 2020 april 2020 march 2020 january 2020 december 2019 november 2019 october 2019 september 2019 august 2019 july 2019 june 2019 may 2019 april 2019 march 2019 february 2019 january 2019 december 2018 november 2018 october 2018 september 2018 august 2018 july 2018 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