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g h p lovecraft then mari comes home which is almost irrelevant since the young hpl has already slipped her necklace to her parents so they know this gang has done something nasty to their daughter mom and dad creep into the guesthouse with a fireplace poker and the rest is just inevitable except except except well the vectors are different wes craven s original makes clear that the killers are sadists who are just getting their kicks piss your pants his krug tells mari just for fun the remake gives them a motive krug s gang is helping him escape from a trip to prison and their story has already made the local news their torture springs from desperation rather than sheer nastiness and this is unfortunately a great deal less horrifying meanwhile in the remake mari s parents are scrambling to find their boat keys so they can transport her across the lake to a hospital this may be the recession talking again but it s just hard to sympathize with people as they struggle to find their boat keys when they go homicidal on her attackers they re just trying to hold them off till the keys turn up it s a different vibe i figured this movie still had a scorpion s tail waiting to strike and i thought we were getting close during a scene where krug flees the guesthouse and starts creeping about the main house where we last saw mari lying on the couch alone here comes the acid bath i thought but turns out mari s safely stashed away elsewhere and krug is done down by more predictable forces the stinger that is here feels grafted on a shocker ending that can t shock anyone who s seen a film with tom savini effects and that feels untrue to the characters it would work if mari s parents as in wes craven s original had gone completely round the twist and had nothing left to survive for but this film has bent over backward to let you know they re still looking to be good parents they even adopt justin apparently the escape to the hospital at the end is like watching the end of annie still it s got some grit and it s got some interest i worried that it d be excessively sanitized like the godawful friday the 13th remake and it does start out looking like an abercrombie fitch commercial but it does end up feeling dirty and wrong enough to satisfy even me and it s cool that unlike for her predecessors mari doesn t end up automatically being killed after being raped i know it s not realistic for survivors to leap up and kick ass after being brutalized but still i d like her survival to have affected the moral equation somehow maybe that ll be for the next generation to decide posted by ae at 2 58 00 am 1 comment saturday april 14 2012 cabin in the woods joss whedon is a smartass and i m docking his allowance all i ask exulted the usher at the arclight is that you sit back relax and prepare to have your faces rocked off there is no better way to predispose me against a movie but yeah it was friday night and i was at a midnight show i wanted to see what the fuss was about too i ve been driving for weeks past the cabin in the woods billboards with their krazy mixed up cabin design and the slogan you think you know the story and just clenching my teeth i love cabins in the woods i love creepy stuff on the walls and in the basement i love the twig snapping outside i grew up right next to the woods i always knew there was something lurking out there that stuff resonates with me dammit i don t need to see it reinvented but here we are spoilers ahead i tried to get into it i did the bold editing is quite admirable the dialogue of course is excellent and makes the characters stock figures all of them into human beings for a while it does an ok job of being a movie within a movie there s a framing device of professionals in a lab watching the kids go into the cabin and both those scenarios are watchable and interesting in their own ways but i kept thinking what is the point why do this then the plot takes a twist or two and you realize you re watching a much larger scale horror scenario than you thought that s fun for a little while and the payoff is a tremendous 20 minute comedy sequence that s just a blast to watch i m sure some critic or other has already roared horror fans will want to sit through this movie again and again just to get all the references and maybe they will the references are fun if only that were enough to carry an entire movie it is not this movie s being compared to scream because it picks apart horror cliches the cabin is scary the redneck locals know something you don t the teenagers who enjoy sex will die but it builds itself on an even bigger cliche that people who watch horror movies do it because they re brutal and savage and awful by building itself as a meta movie cabin in the woods primly positions itself above this sort of thing you end up feeling good about yourself because the movie eventually makes you root against the characters who set up the sadistic cabin scenario but dammit you idiot you still paid money to see a gory horror movie joss whedon has no resolution for you the best he can offer is a couple of pot smoking survivors surveying the carnage and snarking sorry about the end of the world that s not a movie that s a flipoff i know it s 2012 and lots of movies are sarcastic about the fact that they re movies but why bother making a movie then why not just stay home and smoke pot cut to joss whedon counting his avengers money and smoking a giant blunt yep that s my plan he smirks aaaargh here s another thing why zero in on cabin in the woods movies how many of those are there when was the last one made you re really just picking on evil dead i don t like that that s not picking on a giant corny studio release that s picking on a bunch of scrappy film students who put together something that turned out to be hugely influential go pick on pepsi or something the timing of this movie just feels off to me and i guess that s fitting since it s been on the shelf for a while it doesn t seem to have been inspired by any horror zeitgeist it s just randomly here i can t believe i haven t blogged in a year and a half and this is what brought me back see everything about this movie is enraging posted by ae at 2 00 00 am 1 comment tuesday december 21 2010 have a very scary solstice goldfinch originally uploaded by trillium grandiflorum i m a little late and have been reprehensibly quiet recently more frequent posts will return in 2011 as i re embrace the joy of watching movies for their own sake but wanted to wish everyone a very happy winter holiday we can t do much for this goldfinch here but the outlook for the rest of us is i hope a great deal brighter for the coming year stay warm on these dark nights and pray for daylight posted by ae at 10 37 00 pm no comments tuesday august 17 2010 downtown gothiness million dollar theater originally uploaded by trillium grandiflorum neither a man eating plant nor a scary movie i am just happy with this photo the carvings are outside the million dollar theater on broadway a beautiful place to visit i am fond of the million dollar pharmacy on the corner of broadway and third across the street is the bradbury building which was the only sight in la i really wanted to see on my first visit when it turned out to be three blocks from the office that was interviewing me i was pretty thrilled posted by ae at 6 24 00 pm 1 comment sunday august 08 2010 left bank 2008 yes belgian horror i cannot highly enough recommend left bank which came to my attention via the always reliable arbogast he was comparing it favorably to house of the devil and while i would agree that it is far superior to ti west s snoozefest i m not sure i d compare the two both involve creepy buildings and a lone girl in peril but left bank is unquestionably modern which is weird because it ends up involving some crazy medieval hoorah but still heroine marie elina kuppens is a scrappy independent minded young woman living with her divorced mom and spending most of her spare time running she s training for an international event in portugal and her proud coach thinks she has it in the bag when she gets sick and portugal becomes out of the question she s devastated with a sudden amount of unwanted free time on her hands she takes up with cute archer bobby matthias schoenaerts and after a night of hot sex she pulls away from her mom and coach and decides to go recuperate at bobby s he s got a sweet apartment on antwerp s left bank apparently a hip transitional neighborhood in a huge old building run by his grandmother but almost immediately things start to get weird for marie instead of getting better she suffers headaches nausea and insomnia when she tries to go running she hurts her knee and it spends the rest of the movie getting darker and purplier and grosser her flaky mom comes to visit and starts fussing about weird vibrations and dangerous ley lines a neighbor tells marie that the previous tenant of bobby s apartment was a woman who vanished then a package comes for the missing woman when marie opens it she starts learning more about the building than she ever wanted to know there are definitely shades of rosemary s baby here but unlike fragile rosemary marie stays totally independent and together i adored her character she clashes with her parents and coach but she keeps her head on straight she asks direct questions she never starts at shadows and when things start getting berserk she does the sensible thing and moves the heck back out she doesn t go creeping timorously down hallways and you never want to yell don t go in there you re right alo ng with her the whole way she s fab marie is also a very physical character she s young her body s always been her ally she loves running and she enjoys sex and i love how this is really key to the ensuing awfulness her problems begin when her body turns against her she s been pushing herself so hard that she s quit menstruating among other problems you really feel how much it kills her not to be able to rely on herself anymore she wants so much to get better and she can t and as her hurt knee gets darker and weirder eventually sprouting hideous stiff hairs that she tries sobbing to yank out it all starts to feel like a metaphor for puberty or old age transformation turns out to be key to what s happening i won t give it away but brr see this film posted by ae at 9 31 00 pm 2 comments labels horror movies tuesday july 27 2010 casting a shadow spider sarracenia originally uploaded by trillium grandiflorum i do love this spider every day when i go out to visit my plants it s hanging around on the pitchers usually on top of a sarracenia rubra sometimes it crawls picks itself up a bug and crawls back out the sunlight caught it just right the other day for this photo posted by ae at 5 22 00 pm no comments sunday july 25 2010 final girl film club house of the devil writing about this movie is going to be difficult because i kept falling asleep each time it happened i would jolt awake a few minutes later see unfamiliar stuff happening onscreen sigh with irritation and rewind the movie to the last thing i remembered this was a tedious exercise but i imagine not quite as bad as watching house of the devil straight through without interruption i m grateful not to have seen it in a theater where i would have had to sit upright this movie is a snooze and i m afraid director ti west is a frightful bore this is the first film i have watched for the final girl film club that i have energetically disliked it will be very interesting to see what the other film club coolies have to say my friend jason adored it i read a bajillion favorable reviews when it came out but i have nothing good to say about house of the devil it is without redeeming qualities everyone s favorite thing about this movie seems to be that it s set in the 1980s and made in the style of the era s brilliant horror movies and how could you not love that idea a babysitter a synthesizer score a friend with a crazy flip hairdo these are great accessories for a horror movie but they re accessories you need something real at the core the movie needs a scary idea and house of the devil hasn t got one heroine samantha jocelin donahue lives in a college dorm and really wants to rent an off campus apartment from landlady dee wallace tribute tribute to help pay her first month s rent she accepts a babysitting job from weirdo tom noonan manhunter monster squad and his weirdo wife mary woronov the friendly scientist from night of the comet and ok i did get excited about that but the house is dark and it s creepy it might even be the house of the devil whatever will samantha do well she plays some pool she listens to her walkman she orders a pizza she watches some tv she walks around the house i woke up and skipped the dvd back and she obligingly did it all again the problem with this movie is not so much that it s slow it s really not that slow but it gives your brain absolutely nothing to latch on to the characters are impossible to understand how come samantha needs this apartment so badly so she gets sexiled by her roommate who hasn t been through that how come the couple is so weird about pretending they have a kid and then pretending instead they have an elderly mother who needs looking after how come they don t even show her the upstairs of the house before leaving her alone how come she puts her walkman on what if the elderly mother called out for her who s after whom what s going on i just sat there getting irritated and after a while i just quit caring and let my eyes close unfortunately west s the roost had exactly the same effect on me which is really a shame because i love farm horror and i love bats and i love zombies but the roost never quite coheres it creates an atmosphere but it isn t intelligent enough to create a mood house of the devil is the same a scene doesn t automatically become interesting because the heroine is using a rotary phone instead of a cell phone the fact that this is all west has got i find it kind of insulting come back when you have something to say dude but mary woronov that s pretty sweet god do i love night of the comet posted by ae at 9 02 00 pm 3 comments labels horror movies older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me ae view my complete profile a z archive of movie posts people a creative life ardenstone art boy carrie eileen el tocino grande everything i say is important vitally important the jetti blog kelly paperspray prometheus zippo spare candy strictly socal media l a observed defamer laist romenesko the l a times jacket copy bitch bust salon slate doonesbury the comics curmudgeon the nashville scene the retro press the blog of unnecessary quotation marks you don t say movies arbogast on film bloody disgusting cinefamily the deadly doll s house of horror nonsense fangoria s blog final girl from midnight with love monster show nilbog milk obscure hollow things that don t suc...