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he was making is that just because they have shared nearly every moment of their lives this does not mean they will necessarily like each other hell i know parents who love but don t like their own kids i know siblings who also love but don t like one another i also know plenty of people who are entirely indifferent to their relatives being born to the same family doesn t immediately mean you ll all get along most of the time it doesn t bother me too much that the kids might fight or pick on one another or frankly be downright mean to each other they re siblings shit happens every once in a while their picking at one another will get under my skin and that happened just a couple of nights ago we d sent them upstairs to get ready for bed and while i m sure there was a bit of that going on there was also rather a lot of leave me alone and give it back and get off my bed and so on so i did what any self respecting mother would do and i yelled at dh to go upstairs and sort it out i was very very busy on facebook and did not have the patience to play referee of course i then did what any self respecting wife would do and i got up off the couch insert dramatic sigh and went to sort it out better than he would i bounded yeah like a freakin gazelle up the stairs and used my your ass is in trouble voice to gather the trio together i then proceeded to lecture them peppered with a few curse words i know i know i m working on it about how they needed to practice kindness oh the irony and eventually this is how low i stooped listen you three i know you don t always like being triplets i know you didn t ask for it to be that way i know you spend a heck of a lot of time together and i know you occassionally irritate the shit out of one another i even know that sometimes you wish you were an only child here s a newsflash for you i can t do a damn thing about it you re stuck so either learn to live with one another or learn to suck it up okay maybe it wasn t the most elegant telling off but it sure as hell worked been nothing but wine and roses around here between them ever since i expect that to last oh about another ten minutes or until someone touches someone some takes something which is not theirs sits on someone else s bed posted at 9 44 pm 0 comments tuesday january 29 2013 geonerds on the loose some years ago i learned about geocaching which is basically a nerdy sport which means finding stuff via gps and i thought it would make a great family activity at the time i did a bit of research into it and what was involved but the website itself was so confusing that i dismissed the idea as too nerdy for us which given our nerd factor is pretty high is saying something some new friends recently came into our lives and mentioned in passing that they are into geocaching and so the emzee family got sucked right into that world along with them yes geocaching sigh it all seemed like so much fun and healthy and something smart people would do like a real life treasure hunt yippee let s all run into the woods with gps in hand beware of muggles yep non cachers who are around the places where you are looking are referred to as muggles it s just that cool of a sport sorry sport we ve now done it 3 4 times and the good news is it actually can be a lot of fun it certainly meets my aims of having some family time spent together outdoors giving us something all ages can have an interest in and helping us discover bits of melbourne we ve never seen before from an exercise point of view it s also good as it gets all of us moving around and being active rather than being weekend couch sloths although we still manage a bit of that come on now people i m fabulous but not entirely virtuous of course there is one small part of our new found nerd activity which i can t stand you see in all my enthusiam for a new activity which combined fun fitness and nerdiness i d forgotten just how competetive and goal oriented i am this of course means that if we go looking for a cache and can t find it well i m none too impressed in fact it irritates the hell out of me if we can t find what we re looking for and especially if the logs say someone has found it the day before or if several previous logs say it s an easy find sure yeah easy for you you clever geo nerd shmucks even more irritating about not finding something is the parental need to be all up beat and pretend like i don t care that we haven t found it and that it s about winning what utter bullshit that is it s totally about the finding of stuff for cripes sake it s not called geolooking i find myself saying all the cliches of it s all about getting there not about the reward and we can come back and give it another go another time and let s just keeping looking a little longer maybe we missed it and come on kiddos this is meant to be fun you get the idea i hate the idea of finishing an afternoon of searching having not found something oh the crushing disappointment and so i have been known to gee everyone up into finding just one more before it gets dark in the vain hope that the next one will practically have a sign on it which says i m right here geocaching it s meant to be a fun family nerdy recreational activity not a competetive irritating testing my parenting skills sort of thing shit i think i missed the memo on that one posted at 9 03 pm 2 comments monday january 28 2013 kindness or complacency the last 9 months or so have been pretty crappy for me various dramas with family health business and life have conspired to give me some very challenging months throughout all of it i ve managed to maintain my weight by maintaining my fitness which means i ve been eating pretty terribly but exercising plenty so the end result is that i ve maintained the status quo on the scales while i m none too proud of the almost daily slurpee and meat pie habit i am immensely proud that i ve kept things in balance enough that i m not sitting here all these months later crying into my giant jar of nutella the last few weeks i ve not been exercising as much as i d like to be still gym going as usual but not getting in any of my usual additional activities i haven t beat myself up about it too much because frankly i m not in such a happy place and on some mornings i ve just needed the sleep more than i needed the 30 minutes of cardio on quite a few occassions i ve made the choice to just be kind to myself and have that lie in in part it s because it has been such a rough few months and in part because i am by far harsher on myself than anyone else is and along with my word of the year i m working on celebrating my wins rather than berating myself for my losses i ve chosen kindness and i d venture to say that i m at least a little bit better off for it here s the question though at what point if any does being kind to oneself actually morph into letting oneself become complacent suppose i let myself have that lie in a couple of times a week i m tired i m stressed life is hard i deserve it yadda yadda but then that s a couple of times a week when i m not getting any exercise and i m not doing myself any favours on the health front instead of being kind to myself i m letting that kindness be an excuse for not getting enough exercise or not eating better i m so stressed i will totally feel better if i eat that chocolate you get the idea you can use being kind to yourself as a justification for almost any behaviour can t you buying a new pair of shoes more often than you can afford drinking a few extra bottles delaying the boring but important paperwork on your desk whatever it s just so easy to say i deserve this isn t it hmmm i m pretty certain i ve not reached that stage and that i m thinking about it implies i probably never will but it s an interesting idea modern life being what it is we re often told we should pamper ourselves not work so hard let the house be messy whatever but i m not entirely convinced that we are not in fact on some level anyway killing ourselves with all that kindness posted at 8 58 pm 3 comments sunday january 27 2013 the story of beautiful tropical helluatu i was going to write a really long whingy post about our experiences on our recent vacation but i decided that there was no point in dredging it all up again besides i had a mighty good time doing that on trip advisor so at the very least i got it all out of my system plus dh and i are immensely loved and blessed to have even been able to go on that vacation in the first place and i am nothing if not grateful for the experience first because it meant that dh and i did in fact get the opportunity to do nothing for several days which as you will recall was the whole point of the exercise we really did spend days and days doing very little the suitcase we packed with just our books and reading materials was something like 8 kilos in weight and we managed to get through all of it with no trouble i finished 3 novels in a single day the second reason i m grateful is because it s given me some wonderful stories to share with friends a trip i m not likely to forget anytime soon and yet another experience which i can look back on and laugh about life is about experiences both good and bad and this trip was absolutely an experience it wasn t all bad it really wasn t and i ve come away with two vital life lessons one never travel without anti bacterial wipes two just because you have run away from home it does not mean that where you go it will be all rainbows and running water above all i love that my life is one colourful entertaining story okay yeah so the pontoon sank dh got sick the taps fell off the sinks the humidity was horrid and the food was pretty average but imagine what a boring blog entry it might have been if it was in fact all rainbows and running water i might have to run away from home more often just because it makes for a good story posted at 8 45 pm 0 comments sunday january 13 2013 home i love to travel i love everything about it getting new clothes buying lollies at the last minute picking up 35 worth of trashy magazines at the airport not sleeping well the night before filling in the little green departure cards why are they always green i just love everything about travel even airplane food with it s cute compartments and itty bitty sachets of salt what i love most about travel is coming home to my own bed and especially my own shower never was this more true than after a week of being stuck on a tropical island which has no running water for 3 days oh yes there is a reason why i now lovingly refer to it as our week in helluatu not the vacation i dreamed about but definitely the vacation worth blogging about more soon posted at 2 16 pm 0 comments friday december 14 2012 some people are just jerks my company recently hosted a cake decorator from another country i invited him to come and teach some courses for us and this involved an enormous amount of logistical planning effort and money over about 18 months it s a very very vvveeerrryyyy long story but suffice it to say that he managed to take those 18 months worth of work effort love and good will and destroy it in about 20 minutes of verbally abusing me in the aftermath of his destructive unprofessional and entirely uncalled for 20 minutes i found myself talking to dh and on the phone and asking him what on earth did i do to deserve this the answer not a damn thing some people are just jerks i suspect his answer was based on more than the 20 minutes it had been a very long three weeks from my point of view i d done everything i could to make his experience here with me with my business within the city as good as it could possibly be no matter how many times i went over it in my head i could not work out what i could have done which might have made his trip here any better for him in fact he and his wife told me repeatedly what an amazing job i did how they were amazed at my organisation of it all and how if he decided to teach again the only country he would consider coming back to is australia and yet a mere few days later i m listening to this man tell me i m selfish judgemental made him feel bad for two days care only about myself and my feelings and don t give a shit about anyone else funny that because there i was thinking all i gave a shit about for the past three weeks was him and his wife makes you shake your head doesn t it so here s the backstory i invited them to a bbq at my home first to spend some non work time with them and also to give them the chance to say goodbye to me my family and my employees because of a number of different things including them telling me it was not bbq weather i asked if we could change the event to the following evening and they flat out refused why because he and his wife wanted couple time never mind that they were leaving here and heading off on a 3 day couple time vacation or that i was just asking for a few hours of their time when i hadn t asked for any until then or that they wanted the chance to say goodbye to everyone as well or that according to them this was a work trip and they had had no time alone really i counted 10 working days out of 21 spent here in melbourne for whatever reason the decision had been made and they would not attend the event an event held especially for them okay i don t understand it but shrug their loss there were 15 of us keen to have dinner and 2 of them so we decided just to have the bbq anyway they then spent the better part a good day texting and emailing me and asking me if i was angry with them oh dear reader i m guessing you know the answer to this don t you you who may not even know me in real life know that i generally can t be bothered with an emotion as pointless as anger and that if someone needs to ask a question like that in the first place well chances are they already know me well enough to work out the answer anyway here s a cheat sheet to help just in case your first clue that someone needed to repeatedly ask me if i m angry means they already know the answer doesn t it keep asking and eventually you re going to hear a truth which you d rather not hear second clue i actually finally broke down and admitted that yes i was disappointed that they didn t show up to dinner but that by then i was well past caring about it their response was to blame me for cancelling the event third clue i ve worked my ass off for them i paid for them to be here and my biggest crime was asking them to move dinner to another night fourth clue they felt bad about not coming i didn t magically put that emotion onto them they felt bad because they totally knew they did the wrong thing and that they should have come to the bbq so my changing the night of dinner was the reason for the rant in the car 18 months of hard work and he made it all disappear in 20 minutes sure intellectually i know i did not deserve the verbal abuse i even know that the rant was because in his heart of hearts he knew he should...