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okay i think weird just when i felt like blogging i ve lost the appetite for it weird till then my loves 1 comments wind posted by the lioness in the journey unknown i stand on top of everything and for a moment i just want to breathe everything in and get caught in the spectacle of it all somehow i have no idea how everything will turn out don t we all i just can t help but wish that everything will be okay love could or would probably conquer all is life enough for that 0 comments inspiration posted by the lioness in heart flames love affair with the creator the journey unknown the lioness roars for the past few weeks i have been trying to put my thoughts into this little haven of mine however due to the stress and worries my days were filled with i opted for rest instead sometimes i don t know how i still breathe evenly and smile now it s a new year and just like everyone i believe in a new start ironically 2008 was supposed to be the year according to my chinese astrology that would create a good outcomes if i were careful so like everyone else i was very happy to face the new year i decided to give the profession i studied for in college another try i also found myself in a relationship wherein things were the way i hoped for them to be honestly i really felt like i was susie sunshine it was finally my place under the sun i was wrong in the middle of the year i found myself experiencing something women are never supposed to go through i learned how to distrust men even close friends because of one guy who i knew since i was in high school my career path was going nowhere i thought it couldn t be any worse right until last december 3 members of my family were having health problems it didn t help also that as the lover and i reached our monumental first year anniversary we ended up getting into a big fight and almost broke up don t get me wrong the year certainly has brought good things also we were blessed with the first niece and great grand daughter for my grandmother in my mom s clan i was blessed with an even stronger faith i became even stronger in an emotional aspect and i learned how i could be a better person i know this year could be bad it also could be good besides in a few more months i will be reaching the 25th year mark of my life i m more prepared now for things that could or could not happen instead of wishing for things out of reach or even making resolutions that i never do i ll just live day by day doing the best that i can absolutely do for me and everyone around me no more wishing for gargantuan amounts of happiness inspiration luck or whatever what matters is that i was able to produce little by little things that have more worth for me the best thing to definitely keep me inspired is to remember the many things that i ve been blessed with i m grateful and thankful for a mom that despite the distance has never made me doubt her love or feel less loved i m blessed with a cousin that loves me and cares for me for the angel that i am and the devil that i could be i am surrounded by wonderful people that i call my friends who have never failed in supporting me filling me with positive things and loving me i m thankful for having a lover who has stood by me through a tumultuous year and at the end of the day still loves me most of all i was blessed to have the best kind of love the kind of love that makes me fear and want more love to offer to our heavenly father i was blessed to have gotten to know him early on and a curiosity to know him even more truly with all these things who am i to be not inspired 0 comments oh hodgepodge posted by the lioness in kinsfolk and tribal pain the journey unknown how do you deal it s been a blurry couple of weeks although everything is doing well with love things are falling apart with my life direction and family it just doesn t seem to help that the women i ve grown up with and regarded as one of the many pillars in my life due to the lack of parental presence throughout the latter part of my teenage years till now seem to be just human after all i guess it comes in each and everyone s lives when death just manages to pinch and remind you of how fleeting life is i maybe over exaggerating a bit but this is how i cope unlike my family where wearing your heart on your sleeve is looked upon with disdain i embrace it somehow i feel more human in doing so before i left for a vacation to one of the beautiful islands of the philippines i knew that the health of my grandmother and aunt were a bit rocky for as long as i know my grandmother has been afflicted with arthritis nevertheless she never tires of nitpicking and asking how my life is doing she cackles just like how a witch would and also has that high pitched shriek to boot my cousins and i would just laugh about it and shrug it off since she s the remaining grandparent that i have i always try to go out of my way and just be there for her since she laughs and talks more whenever the lover s around i always make it a point that she sees him constantly everyone makes a joke on how mama is and well we just shrug it off at the end of the day so yes sometimes we take her for granted now she s no longer the strong grandmother who can be oh so annoying and loud most of the time now all she does is lie on her bed sleep and listen to the tv you don t even hear her high pitch shriek her cackles nor does she even entertain the lover anymore why because it pains her for us to see her like this she s in so much pain that you can hear just how painful it is in her voice i know it s coming and i can say it s about time she s been missing my grandfather for oh so long she s seen us be the grown ups that we are now and even some of the cousins getting married she s lived a long and strong life i just don t know how to be prepared for it when it comes i guess i m wishing that she didn t have to go through the pain that she s experiencing now selfish i know but i really want to hear her laugh again tell me again about the many suitors that she had how she met papa and eventually had a family with him again as for my aunts the ones who i get to talk to the most were found with masses in their breasts one was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer and i know that there s still a chance the family s been trying to deal with it as strongly as we can my aunt s a fighter she s so funny and lovable that out of all my aunts the lover loves her the best she s a true spitfire who wouldn t be scared to tell you off however i saw her mellow down when she met the doctor i m praying that there will be no chance of that devil coming back i know that she can get through this the other aunt had a test done last week strange enough a mass was seen and it was announced today the doctor said that it could possibly be benign but a biopsy will still be done because this aunt has no children i ve become her pseudo child i ve planned to accompany her to the hospital later this week yes i m freaking out where do you find things like these only in dramas and soap operas do these things happen however i m used to having a life that seems so weird and feels like it is an actual drama there s a movie that s on the tip of my tongue ugh but i cannot remember it at all how do you deal i ve only really cried once i feel like i m about to burst however my heart goes out to my cousins they re under more strain than i certainly am lord let your will be done 2 comments check out klm fill a plane promote your plane posted by the lioness hey guys check this out i want you to take a look at klm fill a plane promote your plane 0 comments rh bill down with it posted by the lioness in love affair with the creator the lioness roars i am proud that i am a catholic i don t call myself an educated catholic mainly because i still need to go through further studies with the faith just because i graduated from college have a degree that makes a difference in people s lives and experienced in the realities of life doesn t mean that i m an educated catholic i m mainly an educated person i m so irritated with how they say that educated catholics are actually for it when in truth these so called educated catholics are considered educated because they have studied in s0 and so colleges whatever for a person to be for the rh bill have you seen both sides of the coin i ve met people who are for and against it i ve met someone who s so passionate for it and realized at the end of the day that she was actually wrong to be a woman and for you to be for it is really sad and scary i respect what other people believe in when it comes to that bill however i believe that you have to study both sides the consequences that the rh bill will do to our country and our individuality says a lot it s not about poverty or poor women it s about us poverty poor women the problem with all of that is health education and service the government has not allocated the right resources for public health as a nurse i can seriously say that that is true it s not about how the church is trying to meddle it s way in the government or how the church should be separated from the state it s how us as filipinos who have been immersed in centuries old of christian catholic values are affected it basically leads to having a hand in abortion the cruelest sin of all killing someone is already bad how about infanticide i shall not go into detail how contraceptives one of the main points in the rh bill has a hand in abortion if you want to know then message me privately i just wish that people would actually stop being so ignorant about it and actually try to study it and listen there s a reason why the church is so against it and why the catholic congregation is trying to fight it maybe then something could be done and like how the beauty pageant candidates would say how they want world peace can actually happen 3 comments love love love posted by the lioness in heart flames the lioness roars it s been a while that i have actually felt that kind of love wherein you feel safe secured and cherished just like everyone i ve had my share of heartaches which eventually lead to tears depression and of course the worst thing that can happen wishing life would end honestly when i was fairly young i always and i mean always experienced having the upper hand in relationships i have my us upbringing to thank for most often than not i ve learned how to love and still reserve almost half of myself for me i ve learned how to disassociate certain things and love in the fair way don t get me wrong i never treated my ex s bad i was just too guarded and maybe reserved somehow somewhere along the way i happened to shed all of that as soon as i stepped on the shores of the philippines i regret that a bit for some weird reason here in the philippines everyone just seems to offer everything when in love for awhile i felt really bad that i couldn t actually do that with the guys i ended up dating seriously until i met someone who managed to rock my whole world there and then i realized how it was and how it felt to actually love someone so much so much that i ended up giving my whole being to that person sad to say that didn t go well of course that cliche thing they say that you have to go through it twice was true for me i think i can truly say that that s what happened to me then i met him the lover was someone i knew then and had no interest at all in yes he was the golden boy that the teachers loved my friends had a crush on and basically the whole school was enamored with him what was so different with him was he wasn t that typical jock that would be seen with a different girl every week he was that goody goody poster boy that you could not find a flaw in he had looks brains money and a good upbringing i was just interested in the opposite hahaha surprisingly a year ago we bumped into each other sparks definitely flew and we found ourselves attracted to each other that managed to rock our world we re still together now most of the time it s the best ride ever but of course we manage to get on that infamous rollercoaster ride without meaning to every now and then it s uplifting to say that i love him and i still have something for myself gone were the immature stuff where i have to always look over my shoulder and be cautious we re entirely different in things we love to do and yet we manage to respect that i knew i loved him but after spending a week or so away from him i never realized that i love him so much i m extremely blessed to have someone like him in my life i seriously pray that this will continue on and that we will grow together as one love has it s ways of reaching out to you and doing wonderful ways i m glad this came now i thought i wasn t ready however i realized that just when you re not ready they come knocking and sweeping you off your feet after all 0 comments time certainly flies posted by the lioness in fiddle dee and fiddle dum paws heart flames the lioness roars late post the lioness just came from a celebration and a goodbye to a friend who is about to get married and will leave the country thereafter despite the fact that switch to first person i am leaving for a province known for beaches in a few hours and have postponed the mission to pack decided to blog for a while and release some thoughts admittedly i have neglected to update and blog what has been the on goings of my life recently i just didn t want to feel as if i forced my blogs i blog when there is inspiration present i guess inspiration it is the friend has been someone the lioness has known for over 10 years she is about the same age as i and i believe she has been the happiest since i ve ever seen her to be i remember our kiddie days and trust me she has always been pretty however seeing her now she has truly grown into a lady someone who walks into a room and effortlessly lights up a room she truly fits the expression vavavoom i remember the days when she was still a bit of a tomboy and unsure of what she wanted for her future and sure of what kind of love that she needed now she is endlessly blooming and filled with so much happiness it takes more than words to actually describe how so much happiness emanates from her yes the journey is about to start it will be filled with good and bad things but how you get through it matters i believe in marriage i believe in love and most of all i believe in the fact that two people who meet at the center of everything and manages to overcome all have certainly more than today to wake up to i raise my glass of merlot for the wonderful woman that i ve shared tears and laughter with to more shawarmas and more so where am i getting at continued now i was asking myself the same exact question just a week ago i couldn t help being excited for this trip look at today it s already friday i wrote the first part of this blog last sunday how many did i miss doing what was i actually able to do see there s so many things tha...