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hers perspectives sometimes if only to try to understand how the heck it is they can believe what they do or as a novelist to try to understand motivation i have often asked myself how certain people can look at themselves in the mirror i don t know and so i do study people all the time occupational hazard it s also not to say the man who lied didn t have his own truth that lying was a faster way to accomplish what he felt needed to be done or maybe he hated women or maybe just me just because we might not like someone else s truth doesn t mean it s not theirs for truth is the bedrock of who you are for me it is absolutely a commitment to be kind it is a sureness in the fact that my children are the center of my universe it is knowing what i value knowing who i love i often quote a scene in the movie adaptation in which one brother cannot understand how his sibling told a woman he loved her when he knew damn well she didn t love him back you are what you love not what loves you i decided that a long time ago i know what i love that is my truth and always will be and th at is what i hope to teach my children peers are so influential but deep deep inside you know the truth you know right from wrong you know it so hold tight to it you can t control the world around you people lie people will hurt you that is human nature good things will happen wondrous things riches may land at your feet or fame but truth is something you must constantly seek your truth no matter how painful no matter how uncomfortable it might make you sometimes know thyself and you won t lose your way or even if you do you will find your way back again i don t plan my blogs ever i don t write them in word and edit them and then paste them in here and press publish i sit down i write and what comes out is my truth i don t self censor i don t censor period i m working on a memoir part mommy memoir from my adventures as a pirate queen with pirate boy part spiritual quest in my journey through chronic illness part funny part poignant all true over time from my pirate boy tweets and facebook quotes i ve heard from at least a half dozen editors and agents about it the proposal is ready and one thing i kept in mind while writing was advice from a wise agent don t bother writing a memoir if you aren t going to be honest my guess is a couple of people won t be happy when they read it well they should have conducted themselves a little more nicely a lot of people i think will laugh and cry but in the end what ended up on the page was truth i own mine it s my most precious treasure and it is my hope that those i love know theirs that you know yours thoughts posted by erica orloff at 5 59 pm 18 comments sunday december 16 2012 the magic of seven there are times when there are no words pirate boy and i have been on a news blackout since last friday it started quite accidentally enough with him coming home sick and glassy eyed on thursday by friday the two of us had made a fort of my king sized bed while his fever knocked him flat but he wanted mommy near and i worked from a laptop it was there i learned of the tragic events and decided i had no words every time i ventured out of my pirate fort what i saw upset me too much oh the news was horrific enough to make me sob but it was the rush to say it was the media s fault or this is what happens when you take prayer out of schools like a moment of prayer each day would prevent this i don t pray but i teach compassion to my children there were other pundits and other comments in social media that defied common sense the idea that it s any one cause is simplistic anyway whatever it was i saw in social media much of it upset me even further so we stayed in our pirate fort and read narnia we watched arthur christmas pirate boy four gold doubloons mom fabulous for kids and adults alike we worked on the novel we are writing together we cuddled under a furry blanket a purple furry blanket i won in a christmas gift exchange at my book club for a kid with sensory issues fake fur is a very good thing we told bad jokes we played where s waldo he ran fevers of 103 i worried he slept he kicked me in his very fitful moaning sleep it s now three nights and i ve managed a grand total of seven and a half hours sleep spread over four days i am starting to sound loopy when i speak i look like something our cat dragged in last night his dad was supposed to take over so i could rest didn t happen now i look like something our cat dragged in and rejected but there are no words nor should there be really none of us have words for what is unimaginable for those parents as someone who processes the world through my writing there are simply no words i can t lift up prayers words fail me i shed a lot of tears and sometime in the night i thought of what i do have as my words as the names were released i saw 6 7 6 7 7 6 these age numbers that were so tragic and my sleeping pirate boy he s seven it s a magical number or should be and so for my own solace i decided to write about how beautiful seven is he is not every child far from it he s pirate boy after all he s my child how i feel about him is uniquely our love story just as every parent has his or her love story with his or her child or should it should have a natural progression of things it should be loving but i know that s not always the case and i know the natural order is too commonly not so but this is my seven at seven his santa is real some of my friends don t believe that s absolutely insane i know they don t believe in dragons either don t they see dragon plumes across the sky their smoke they think that s from airplanes how sadly mistaken they are well i m really old and i still believe in santa i believe that deep down there is a child in every person and sometimes that gets lost but for the lucky ones the ones who believe santa lives on forever he s like thousands of years old right i nod wisely i believe i really want that wolf puppy but i ll be happy with a cotton candy machine i believe too the wolf puppy not happening but shhhhh the cotton candy machine wrapped by elves at seven there are no straight lines anywhere walk outside with pirate boy and you will meander you will find worms and ladybugs you will find pennies on the ground magic wishing pennies discarded by busy people who didn t know their real worth you will find perfect autumn leaves and rocks that have flecks of real gold on them you will see strange patterns in the muddy ground left by aliens you will see bear tracks on the front lawn you will see magnificent dragon plumes across the sky and know lurking nearby must be wizards and knights you ll know that while wishing on the white seeds of blown dandelions may ruin a neighbor s yard those wishes will most certainly come true even in the supermarket straight lines do not exist with pirate boy there is a meander toward the campbell s chicken noodle soup and krispy kreme donuts even when those items aren t on your list at seven the mysteries of the universe know no bounds how do we get to narnia if everyone in the world leaves santa cookies won t his stomach eventually explode into a huge mess what about the reindeer all those carrots and do they poop on your roof what causes a shooting star is there really life on other planets if i plant this apple seed how fast will i have an apple orchard like one year or two i speak cat but not dog can cats and dogs talk to each other why do teenagers sleep so much what s wrong with them if i flush ice cubes down the toilet will that make it snow why do people get sick why are some people just mean is youstinkistan a real place what about middle earth at seven pirate boy tries to pin me down do i believe in angels ghosts god leprechauns fairies dragons unicorns big foot seven is innocent mixed with naughtiness it is armpit farts and passing gas on command it is mooning his sister and saying shut up even when he s been told a thousand times not to only this week one of his little friends said it to him and he realized how not nice that is so now he says he won t say it ever again except to his nemesis his fifteen year old sister it is swearing to me that he has no idea who wrote on the walls no idea who appeared to use the front of his shirt as a napkin no idea who used an entire bottle of shampoo in the shower to make bubbles none whatsoever seven is possibility it is when you think you really might be president of the united states and declare every sunday as free dunkin donuts glazed munchkin day you might fly to the moon you might be pope even though you aren t catholic you might break the world record for fastest talker or maybe the one for collecting the most pennies you might become a world famous rockstar and buy your mom a house even though your guitar is currently missing one string and you don t know which one it is seven is knowing because mommy has told you that no you can t go wandering off alone by yourself in a store because the world isn t always a safe place but it s just a concept and mommy is glad it s just a concept beyond grateful even seven is now being told that when you go back to school monday you may hear that at another school something bad happened but that you are safe in our pirate fort and can t we just stay here a little bit longer oh that every child had a pirate fort posted by erica orloff at 11 13 am 13 comments tuesday december 11 2012 dear santa dear santa the barefoot boy at right is what happened when i tried to take christmas pictures two years ago time flies he flies he ran out of the photo frame every time i tried to snap i was lucky he was dressed anyway shoes aside everyone around here has a christmas list i thought i would write mine my list has a lot of things on it that you don t have in your bag at least i don t think you do but that s ok kind of like giving god a wishlist i don t think the universe or santa works quite that way but i ll play along first it s about time i need you to slow it down you see i can t believe how much that little pirate boy has grown there s got to be a law against that to keep him little for just a bit longer his oldest brother is going to head off to college next year i get it it s the natural progression of life and all that but damn the house is just not going to be the same without him while you re at it an extra day in each week i just can t get everything i need to done my to do list is way too long and i just shuffle my list from monday to tuesday to wednesday to you get the idea it s a mother s lament a laundry elf come on you must have them up there now here s the thing i used to want a cure for crohn s but i realize you live at the north pole and not the mayo clinic i m a realist each morning or usually the middle of my night i wake in brutal pain and every single solitary day i am talking no days off it s a choice to get up i consider maybe staying in bed but it s a choice and i will even go so far as to say it takes a little courage maybe not running into a burning building courage but it takes peering in the mirror and deciding to go on every day i d like that choice to be easier to bounce out of bed just once even with my pain meds but damn if i haven t learned i have an iron will so for what it s worth i don t ask for that anymore i get along i think that s why the universe gave me pirate boy santa i really do if he was an easier kid i might assume someone could take care of him if i wasn t here but no one gets him not his father no one so here i am he s stuck with me i d like guitar lessons this year i know silly right but i realize i am getting lost yes i know i know you gave me a gps last year i am directionally challenged but my to do list is so utterly overwhelming largely because i m exhausted and it s hard to get through that list so it grows i m drowning in list dude and i don t know where i am anymore i can t remember the last book i read for pleasure the last bubble bath i took all right yes the tub is broken and i need a handyman preferably one with ripped abs my significant other asked if i want a day at the spa for christmas i laughed in his face on what day does he think i can go to a spa and not come home to fifteen crises that occurred nope but i think i can manage one hour of lesson every week for me with a cute guitar teacher hey you know i have priorities i would like a day where i don t have to pick up after anyone but then i remember santa to be grateful for my rotten little urchins they keep life interesting they love me fiercely and i love them so in the end santa i don t think i m going to get anything on my list chances are there won t be anything under the tree with my name on it but that s ok cause in the end like special ornaments on the tree i have all these amazing memories hung of christmases past of my kids being little and dancing to the peanuts christmas music of the year oldest child got the barbie pool and the barbie car and the you get the idea of meals shared of wrapping til all hours with my bestie while watching christmas movies of my own childhood christmases and people long gone but always near in my heart so thanks for all that love ya big guy erica p s one more important thing pirate boy has asked for a wolf dog under no circumstances should you feel obligated to bring one p p s oh yeah peace on earth for people to be kinder to one another for people to remember the lonely at this time of year all of that stuff too posted by erica orloff at 4 18 pm 14 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom followers link list ericaorloff com demon baby and me my facebook profile a million monkeys a writer s best friend alyson noel amy cohen s blog amy nathan s blog book lady s blog book roast chris eldin s blog crystal green s blog edie ramer s blog ellen oh s blog heather brewer s blog heather harper s blog j a konrath s blog joe barone s blog jude hardin s blog karmela johnson s blog kath calarco s blog ladonna paulette lainey bancroft s blog laughing wolf s blog magical musings marcia colette s blog mark terry mary castillo s blog michele hauf s blog mom and more blog nature shows one aimless writer one blue marble blog own your health blog pink heart society blog plot monkey s blog realm covet s blog richmond writer s blog sara hantz s blog sarah laurenson s blog sex scenes at starbucks shrink rap blog spy scribbler s blog stephen parrish s blog susan heim s blog suzanne perazzini teen fiction cafe tena russ s blog the chosen pursuit blog the gab wagon travis erwin s blog vivi anna s blog what am i doing in mexico write attitude writing to the end of the word ya fresh blog zoe winters s blog blog archive 2013 3 may 1 numbers january 2 2012 9 december 3 november 2 june 1 may 3 2011 73 november 2 october 4 september 6 august 1 july 7 june 2 may 3 april 7 march 10 february 13 january 18 2010 222 december 9 november 15 october 8 september 18 august 25 july 23 june 16 may 20 april 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