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Text of the page (random words):
t he needed to show me who he was i also remember he was a uga law student this particular talk he was giving was his last talk in sacrament because he was graduating and moving back out to california with his wife obviously i have a good memory for things that don t really matter his topic was testimonies and how they are individual entities that s the truth part he then said a couple of things at the time that rubbed me the wrong way and i felt they were extremely short sighted he started to go off on a rant of sorts about how people shouldn t need anyone or expect anyone else to care for another person s testimony he said that if we were expecting home teachers to come and they didn t come that shouldn t affect our testimony or our growth in the church i remember at the time wondering if the eq president hadn t said something to him about never visiting my home lol whatever i just remember kind of shutting off after hearing that portion because i was digesting this lack of responsibility toward another human spirit it s not something i identify with at all i didn t know at the time that it was something that would settle so deeply into my brain either it felt as though he had this idea that everyone was out surviving on his or her own mentality and if other people needed the light of another person they were weak or wrong he didn t come out and say those words but i saw through what he was trying to say he was saying it very badly he was presenting this idea that we were ultimately not responsible for and to each other i know what he was trying to mean was that we as individuals need to cultivate our own testimonies but adding in that we weren t at all responsible for the people under our jurisdiction is a complete contradiction to the things that christ taught matthew 18 10 14 10 take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones for i say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my father who is in heaven 11 for the son of man has come to save that which was lost a 12 what do you think if a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray does he not leave the ninety nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying 13 and if he should find it assuredly i say to you he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety nine that did not go astray 14 even so it is not the will of your father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish i don t even know why his talk sprang to the forefront of my mind today i m not trying to guilt trip anyone or possible home teachers with me on their list at this time in my life i think i should clear that up right now so you can sleep soundly hahaha what i do think though is that people who think this way are simply wrong i am not saying you need to spoon feed someone but sometimes another s light or testimony can go a long way in the soul of a searching or lonely person when i had sister s to visit i felt very much that it was my charge to check in on them in whatever way they felt comfortable some women i got to visit and many other women i just sent notes to every month i always asked what they needed i feel strongly you must approach someone the way they tell you to approach them in order to earn their trust that s another lesson i had to learn but one i believe in deeply now i don t really even know where i am going w these thoughts except to say that 12 years after the fact i have a very long memory about something this man probably doesn t even remember he said maybe i just had to remind myself that we should be willing to share our light if someone needs it and equally if someone is offering you their light to recognize it and accept what they are willing to give we are all connected in ways we cannot even begin to fathom our lives unfold through each other and within each other what one suffers we all feel what one does changes others forever david rhodes leave a comment posted by erintopia on sunday november 4 2012 in uncategorized mentors 05 oct my beautiful kimsie posted this status update last night i caught a glimpse of it before i decided i should try to go to bed before 3 a m for once in my life it read today my supervisor asked who my mentor is i immediately thought of a few people i consider mentors i am thankful for them and their wisdom i don t know that people even realize the depth of their impact of another who are your mentors i should not read questions before i got to sleep because then i dream about those questions i am weird like that anyway as i woke up this morning thoughts were still streaming through my brain and i figured that i probably had a lot of mentors i decided with this blog i d be a big bum kisser and highlight a few because they really did help me either by showing me how to behave or challenging a thought process i had or were just the epitome of loveliness kim you have mentored me w your abundant patience and ability to give me advice but also sit back and watch me live my life and still love me through it all you have a hero heart and you are funny you have helped me see that i am good enough just as i am but you also know how to kindly crack the whip i don t let very many people reveal my weaknesses to me because so often it s just criticizing and being mean you do it in a way that makes me laugh and think i appreciate that you ve taught me how to hear both the yin yang of who i am and to understand that love is still there from you always my mom has been through hell and high water and always come back around i know life has been interesting for her but she s always somehow managed to bounce back even if she s had to put on a brave face and i know she s hurting in the depth of her hurt i have always seen a light flicker within her she taught me how to work hard and keep working hard on the things you believe in she is a quiet woman she s got an amazing soul and an even better heart she taught me that even though love has boundaries it doesn t mean it can t heal everything if people just let love do it s job she s still the first person i really want to talk to when things get rough because i know she will listen and she is smart enough to never ever tell me what to do p she never has because she knows me well enough to know that i must come to things on my own terms or else i can never accept them also i have a lot of lovely and amazing friends so if i don t mention you it s not because you have not influenced me in some way trust me when i say you have for the sake of time i am going to point out a few monica kelly karri and nikki who gets to have good friends for 20 years who still care about where you are who you are if you re happy i adore and love you ladies if anyone hurt you i d run them over w my car you are the girls i could call at 2 a m in the morning and say i need you and i know you d figure out a way to get to me you all live your lives with authenticity and love you re honest and hilarious and even in my darkest moments you have always been there we live too far apart and i hate that i keep trying to bridge the gap because i want to be around the women who fill me up put up w my crazy and always love me no matter what angie and tracy my best ga girl s it took me a really long time to find women i clicked with in ga i mean i had friends but no one i could be naughty with that s important to me because i need to know that i can let loose with someone w o being judged i think a lot of people have this idea of who i might be in their heads and i am probably some of that but heaven help me i have an evil twin i don t often show her to people because you gotta be way in for me to show you and this goes for monica kelly karri and nikki too they know my evil twin angie just accepts me the way i am period i don t have to be anything else she is so open and accepting i ve honestly never known anyone like her before tracy does too but tracy also amazes me w her organization skills i told her i was ticked she was moving back to washington because i think i finally found my business partner where i am weak she accelerates hardcore and vice versa we have a nice balance and i like that i ve learned those things the last friend i will point out is jenderful jennifer berg speerstra she is goddess supreme to me how did she mentor me jen taught me how to set boundaries and not to put up w everyone else s shit she always knew what she wanted to be when she grew up and just went after it even in her make mistakes i ve watched her rise and become this strong independent and fierce woman she s like the only person i can fight with safely where i know she won t kick me to curb because we don t agree on something she is the one who thinks no one is good enough for me she is the one i go to when i am severely sad because she will do whatever she can to help me no matter what we also live too far apart and that bites too the thing that surprises me the most is how i ve seen people not see who jen is they underestimate her and that pisses me off or they assume she is something she isn t i am monstrously protective of her she s taught me to believe in dreams and to fight for them regardless of what anyone else thought about it i don t have enough words but she is my family she is my sister maybe even more than that and i know that she feels the same way about me it can t be helped we fell in love in 9th grade and never looked back my kids are my mentors they amaze me and frustrate me almost every day i m not going into too much detail because this is a progressing and changing story suffice it to say my son is hilarious and he feels comfortable being pervy around me his mother he knows i have a sick sense of humor and we just laugh a lot as much as we argue too clara is feisty and smart and doesn t always think about what she is doing but she is honest to a fault she is also kind to people she doesn t necessarily like i love that she knows she should respect everyone regardless of who they are or how she feels about them i mean those are things i ve instilled in my kids but watching them do it takes my breath away all night i wrestled with this one because this person doesn t know how much i admire them i ve never been brave enough to tell them i know this paragraph is going to be vague and i m sorry for that this is a person i ve watched for many years and by watched i mean kept close in my thoughts and heart i pay attention and even though i know life doesn t look the way they probably thought it should the fact that they keep getting up every day and doing it makes me love them deeply no matter how many times a match is struck and the flame burns out they keep striking another flame to me they are the epitome of hope and diligence and just keeping on and on sometimes i struggle with how often they are close in my thoughts because it was not a friendship i was brave enough to deeply develop because i was afraid and unsure and what if it was all in my head what if this person didn t see me as i saw them it s been a huge regret in my heart what i could do though was pray and i have done so i know this is vague and you ll all just have to understand there is a reason for that i just had to put it out there today because it s a thought that won t leave me alone maybe in the vagueness they will just know it was for them they will know i adore them i m still very afraid to put this out there like panic attack afraid i m doing it anyway i think everyone you meet has the opportunity to be a mentor if you let them be one everyone has their own trials and struggles i don t ever think mine are any bigger or badder ha than anyone else s i generally think we all have stories and something to offer in terms of growth to one another i have more many mentors i did not mention because you don t have all day to read as i thought about this i did think about everyone i have ever met that i could recall and what they have given to me i also realized how blessed i was because i ve been tremendously lucky to have met so many wonderful and amazing people and moreover just blessed that i have learned from what they had to teach me as well 2 comments posted by erintopia on friday october 5 2012 in uncategorized because dinner is in the oven 02 oct 20 questions 1 who would play you in a movie of your life mary louise parker but hair dyed auburn and curly of course i just like her in everything i ve seen her perform in i think she might be able to pull my life off on screen 2 what is your favorite book i have several robert frost anthology of poetry harry potter and the order of the phoenix wildwood dancing in the river sweet to name a few 3 what is your favorite movie asking me to have one favorite movie is like asking me to have one favorite book i ll give you my top five the quiet man braveheart what dreams may come saving private ryan and amelie 4 what is your favorite ice cream peppermint or anything with good chocolate and good peanut butter heavenly hash or tin roof raspberry is good too mmmmm or a soft serve vanilla cone i do not like chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that makes me barf it may have been easier just ask me what i didn t like p 5 what is your favorite sport to watch football i can handle so long as it is kids playing or college ball not so much into nfl stuff i feel like it loses it s magic i love watching track and field events or basketball i would prefer never to have to watch soft or baseball 6 what is your favorite song i have favorite right now songs so here you go i ll stop there 7 what are your four basic food groups let me think about this food food food and ummmmmmmmmm thanksgiving dinner 8 what would be your preferred superpower flight 9 what place would you like to vacation visit united kingdom first then wherever i can go 10 what is your favorite thing about yourself the depth of my love for people who have no idea that they are in the center of my heart praying and hoping for their happiness all the time and i am a good person that too even when i am a brat i m mostly not one 11 what musical instrument can you play i sing and can play a little piano but i won t play piano in public 12 what is your favorite type of art pre raphaelite era and fantasy art pottery jewelry making poetry theatre 13 what s your dream job i d love to be the cool storyteller that visits elementary schools and goes class to class performing children s books to kids that would be fun or to be a food critic but i don t really want to criticize i just like to try things and give my opinion p 14 what s your biggest pet peeve mean and jerky people people who think they are better than others because of education station in life people who are jerks because they think it s okay and parent s who don t pull up to the end of the breeze way at morning drop off for school thus blocking anyone else from being able to drop off their kid in a timely manner because they think their kid is the most important ki...