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white and nerdy skip to main skip to sidebar 6 20 2013 a list what have i been up to you ask because i know you have missed me soooo much internet well let s see this week i quit my job as in i don t work any more at all i have had 1 client for the past year and recently took on another client in november and while i love my job and love my kiddos even more i kept getting this punch in the gut every time i had to go to work i interpreted this punching as it s time to stay home there are lists of lists of skills and lessons that i have learned from my job hours and hours of fascinating human behavior to be analyzed and more over success and fulfillment i will miss my clients and their families i am attached to their future to the possibilities to the hope it was hard for me to finalize a date and actually get up the gumption to verbalize i quit but the confirmation i have felt by staying home this past week has made all my nervousness worth it my kids and husband needed more access to me and there is no greater job than that we cut pars hair his long girly curly ok wavy locks chopped he is a boy now and can see all the trouble he is getting into he is a force of wind and can get into anything faster than you can blink he understands every single thing you say to him and can only grunt in response i keep trying to get those words out but he just signs or pretends to sign rather than use his voice he has teasing mastered and gets the biggest kick out of barely touching someone or trying to sneak snacks from someone else s cup he is persistent he will grab my hand hold it tight and lead me directly to what he wants summing up all his wishes with a deep and loud grunt he has a soft heart and leads with his head when he gives hugs i don t want him to grow up anymore estela is finding herself my little shadow who would rather stand back and watch has now become comfortable in the spot light she is venturing out i love watching her play negotiate tell jokes explain stories and most of all share her accomplishments i am so proud of her anders is wild he climbs every tree rock fence or wall infront of him he is constantly surrounding himself with friends and things to do he has a busy mind and a busy body ady giggles all the time she loves to make us laugh and as a result makes herself laugh even harder and then we are all laughing at each other laughing and there is my update that i wrote two months ago posted by erin at 6 20 2013 10 33 00 pm 0 comments 12 15 2012 merry christmas this my friends is a christmas card a completed one that has yet to make it to print so i am putting it on this blog and wishing you a merry christmas hoping that someday i will get my act together and actually mail cards it s the thought that counts right posted by erin at 12 15 2012 09 34 00 pm 1 comments 10 16 2012 happiest place on earth did i mention we went to disneyland a huge thanks to jeremy and kelley did i tell you it was awesome it was awesome did you know it was more exhausting than a marathon it is trust me did you know i would do it again in a heart beat half a heart beat this has been a vacation we ve been dreaming about for who knows how long so jeremy and kelley left us a message saying they had extra tickets we couldn t say no the kids were in heaven pars was such a good little traveler adysen was addicted to splash mountain anders loved california screamin once he got over his nerves and got on the ride estela was in a princess coma and cam and i were sweating for three days straight it was worth every drop we were there from open until close two days in a row whew i need a nap just writing that my kids are still talking about it posted by erin at 10 16 2012 09 50 00 pm 1 comments miles this is me in that picture right there in case you were wondering this is me right after i ran 26 2 miles yes i ran a marathon and then sat down and had my picture taken the summer of 2012 with forever belong to running when asked what did you do this summer my response is easy i ran it was kind of a lurking cloud shadowing over me everyday reminding me of what is to come at 6 am the next morning some days i cursed the threat and somedays i relished in the shade i started training for this marathon in february or i should say i started to take running more seriously in february after having pars that previous october my body was ready for some seriousness or something so i started at mile one after eating lots of chocolate and carrying around a baby in my belly my body was revolting and getting my miles up took more effort than i planned but we got there and by we i mean my sister in law lysa pushed me there there were moments running during this summer that i will hold so close to me it s almost feels like a betrayal to share moments of frustration turned to courage fear turned to strength despair turned to hope in many ways this marathon trained my mind rather than my body it gave me quiet moments to feel to think to stomp to rage to ask forgiveness to behold the beauty of early morning sunrises to focus during these runs i found parts of myself i let my mind wander to discover i would continually return to the same thoughts or themes and dig deeper one tender moment was during a long run 20 miles lysa was a couple miles ahead of me my mind was giving way letting in negativity giving me all the reasons why i should quit just sit down i said i kept plugging away somehow with all the effort i could muster and i looked up to see a beacon lysa at the top of the hill waiting for me just get to lysa i huffed when i reached her my emotions gave way and i blurted i just can t do this and then the tears of frustration showed up angry hot tears that stung when mixed with the salt on my face lysa gave me a quick hug took hold of my fear and told me i could do it she talked me through the last two miles and we finished that long run together race day came quickly i was a jumble of nerves excitement mixed with dread doubt combined with katie perry the song hot and cold was written specifically for my marathon did you know that i kept telling myself to not worry about a time or a pace but to just finish no not only to just finish but to happily finish to enjoy this moment i had taken the time all summer to prepare to condition my body and battle my mind that i didn t want to regret not inhaling it all in and so i ran with lysa next to me every step of the way we talked about everything and nothing we laughed as the cows ran next to us we gawked at the beauty of the rolling hills and the quiet dirt roads i pulled up lysa when she fell we cursed the pebbles in our shoes and divits in the roads i blasted nelly furtado s forca and p diddy s coming home we took gu s and gatorades my mind wandered i searched for cam i thought of my kids we took it a mile at a time and when that got hard we took it ten minutes at a time i saw mile marker 25 and let the tears fill up for a minute we said silent prayers for lysa s knee to hold up for a little bit longer because dang it we were finishing this race together we rounded the corner to the finish line and i pulled out my ear buds i told lysa i loved her and then i saw cam standing by the finish line playing photographer and i smiled a big goofy ear to ear grin because well i ran a marathon posted by erin at 10 16 2012 09 27 00 pm 4 comments 8 28 2012 can t stop laughing a gold mine this is a gold mine of giggles probably mostly for me because well they are my kids i love how anders is biting his nails worry melting off his face i love how ady tries to raise her arms for a few seconds i love hearing cam s giggle i love that they both give the thumbs up and want to go again posted by erin at 8 28 2012 01 52 00 pm 1 comments 8 20 2012 neigh i make a good horse face don t ya think pass me some oats and an apple posted by erin at 8 20 2012 01 00 00 pm 1 comments 8 19 2012 mission accomplished ummmmm it s 6 30 on a sunday night and everyone is sleeping i win posted by erin at 8 19 2012 06 50 00 pm 0 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom oldies but goodies oldies but goodies june 1 december 1 october 2 august 6 march 1 february 2 january 4 november 2 september 3 june 1 may 9 march 1 december 5 august 3 july 4 may 7 april 6 march 2 february 7 january 9 december 4 november 5 october 4 september 8 july 1 june 4 may 7 april 6 march 7 february 3 january 8 december 2 november 9 october 11 september 8 august 3 july 8 june 6 may 6 april 8 march 7 february 6 january 10 december 6 november 11 october 8 september 1