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Text of the page (random words):
hank you i m glad you think this i love to say facile and silly things in certain contexts but i do try to be clear when i speak comes from a long history of posting here have found that fighting people just does not work share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 8 hours ago 7 notes love your takes on social anxiety and treatment that you ve been sharing today i really appreciate your perspective and would like to add in response to the people who bring up autism in these conversations that as an autistic person what has helped me the most in socializing was learning emotional sensory regulation skills from dbt and occupational therapy being aware of things like the fact that i have a meltdown period after positive social interaction where i usually burst into tears knowing that it s part of my autism and not a signal that the interaction was bad has been a significant help in addition to learning how to redirect the urge to lash out at others constantly seek reassurance into practicing the thought process of okay maybe they do hate you what in this moment can you do to safely cope with that things like listening to music eating a comfort food or even just privately wallowing as a way to let myself acknowledge my pain without feeling the need to broadcast to everyone in my social life every time i feel it i really hate the idea from some other autistic people as well as ableists which are not mutually exclusive positions that if autistics study hard enough we ll be perfectly fluent in socializing and leave our disability behind studying can only get you so far before it either becomes ineffective or causes burnout and i think the far more important thing for autists is self regulation skills and self knowledge of your emotional patterns social goals it s not a crime to be awkward and the key to successfully having the social relations you want as an autist is to accept your awkwardness and learn how to not melt down every time it happens it s tough especially nowadays in the world of social media and the surveillance state as well as the strange takes on social acuity i ve been seeing i e wearing headphones in public is a colonial capitalist disconnect from your environment not wanting to talk to strangers is anti community and conservative propaganda if you re tired from talking to people it s because of capitalism but what i would say is to recognize that those takes are not from any sort of disability forward approach and that the single best thing you can do for your life is to honor your needs by learning how to accommodate yourself so you can be in a position to reach out to others anonymous worddd ty anon for taking the time to articulate this not much to add to this but i m nodding my head and posting this so others can read it share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 9 hours ago 16 notes lucy s shouting time share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 11 hours ago 44 notes apologies if you ve answered this already but do you have tips on overcoming serious social anxiety is it just about putting yourself out there and letting rejection discomfort happen until it s not scary anymore anonymous i mean there are lots of ways i m not a mental healthcare professional but here s what i know based on my own life and what close friends have done some people start with medication and a psychiatric diagnosis for anxiety i think the people who benefit from this a lot are those for whom the actual somatic physical anxiety reaction is so powerful that it is impossible to separate from the emotional reaction a lot of people i ve known benefit from beta blockers or a similar medication that soothes their nerves and brings down their heart rate because when your body is in fight or flight you can t really use cognitive tools to talk yourself out of anxiety so that s one direction for other people social anxiety is comorbid with autism or another social disorder which is tricky because in those situations you often are truly missing social cues and facing a degree of rejection because of it often people in this situation need to balance a desire to become more socially literate aka learn certain social cues and scripts more fluently paying closer attention to how people respond to them and addressing social anxiety which usually means less excessive attention paid to social cues i think for people who have this issue it s more about a mixture of self acceptance and resilience and also learning a few solid social scripts identifying what is and isn t a typical social behavior then also addressing the anxiety itself as a separate thing so more of a balance between putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and acknowledging you may just have different social needs and working to that while also becoming more confident less anxious i don t experience this so i can t speak to it as deeply for me as someone who is socially anxious but is also pretty socially fluent the thing that did work was cognitive behavioral therapy this helps me identify when a thought or feeling is taking control of my ability to perceive and act and gave me tools for sort of triaging my own reactions to things by stepping back and reassessing from what i have experienced and heard people whose anxiety is comorbid with ocd and adhd or have issues with emotional regulation but not social acuity per se benefit from this the most so when the anxiety is not physical or based on other social difficulties but is much more about emotional responses to social scenarios i think if you re in that group yes letting rejection and discomfort happen until it no longer feels catastrophic basically exposure therapy one thing to watch out for a few years ago i worked with a therapist to help this and we used the cbt approach and it was great really the first successful therapy experience i ve had i realized that this was because a lot of the time the more common talk therapy approach can actually do more harm than good for an anxious person because it encourages the tendency we have to obsess over and unpack social interactions in particular for people in their 20s who are maybe bouncing around between therapists it can be hard for a talk therapist you ve just started seeing to determine what is and isn t a cognitive distortion on your part when i was in high school i went to talk therapy for my emotional issues at the time i thought it was depression but i now realize i was depressed because of my social anxiety ocd cognitive distortions but because i was very well spoken and experiencing such massive cognitive distortions i was bringing very distorted social scenarios to my therapist as if they were factual upsetting realities so i d say my best friends are all secretly gossiping about me behind my back and hate me and my therapist would say wow ok that s very upsetting let s talk through that and she wasn t really able to get me out of my anxiety spiral because of how severe the distortion was which wasn t her fault really since we d only been to a few sessions together she didn t know i had a tendency to distort reality and i was describing things that could reasonably happen to a high school girl so i think that s something to watch out for when seeking out therapy if you know your issue is social anxiety maybe state that outright instead of trying to solve social scenarios that cause anxiety through talk therapy hope this helps share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 13 hours ago 54 notes the issue is of course that there s not really a normal way to socialize but imo the point of the defining normal or typical behavior is that you can use it as a kind of median to test your reactions against if you know you tend to have excessive emotional reactions it s all relative and it s not about what is ok to feel so much as it is a tool for how to improve your own ability to self regulate share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 13 hours ago 15 notes another place this happens a lot is online when people say things about social contexts and how to behave in them and then a socially anxious person takes that and is like you guys are preventing me from doing xyz this is maybe the clearest example of this actually like no they are not doing that they are posting online but for some reason we take it as a given that just saying something to someone that makes them self conscious or applies social pressure is actually stopping them from doing something and it s like no that is just how humans socialize and there s a spectrum of how seriously you can should take that happens a lot with live music discourse i find where if someone complains about say people who stand still next to a barricade and don t help crowdsurfers over their heads everyone suddenly gets up arms about people policing how they act at shows and it s like dude actually this is two people complaining online i think you might just be insecure to begin with but that s not anyone s fault share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 14 hours ago 62 notes and i also think sometimes defaulting to this person is 100 clear headed about their weird hateful behavior just freaks people out and puts them on the defensive and it s not really a reduction of how serious hateful behavior can be to go actually this person does not get out a lot and is in a mental prison of their own creation frankly even if it doesn t change the base problem of having to deal with harrassment i find it gives me a sense of peace to know that a lot of the people i encounter who are not having a normal one in relation to me are not having a normal one in general you know share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 14 hours ago 16 notes and on the flipside i think often people on tumblr especially will encounter someone who is clearly so hyper vigilant of social dynamics that they think they are oppressed for privileged trait that it becomes politically reactionary and the response is usually to be like wow this person is so bigoted that they re pretending they re oppressed for trait and then usually this person gets laughed at and while i think that is sometimes a way to let off steam and give a person a reality check i don t actually think it s always the case that a person just has a self fueled martyr complex based on bigotry like i think some people are legitimately so in the clutches of a social anxiety disorder that they warp things and i think it s not particularly effective in those instances to point and laugh it s better to just ignore people who dig themselves into that sort of trench and say hey i think maybe you are not as hated as you think you are and should try some of this stuff you think you can t do because if they are really in the intense overwhelm state where they re delusional about social rejection more of that is not going to give them a clearer view of actual sociopolitical dynamics share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 14 hours ago 27 notes eroscestlavie a large portion of internet political infighting would be eliminated in a world where we treat social anxiety as the curable treatable condition it is for the majority of people lol my theory basically goes like this based on anecdotal and personal experience an large portion of people who spend their time online tend to have untreated social anxiety or severe anxiety or ocd or another disorder where one experiences a maladjusted strong reaction to acute negative social feedback from other people the result of this is that these people tend to perceive minor negative social pressures online or irl as much more materially harmful than they are the material harm is both real and not real because while their anxiety disorder is real and comes with very physically and emotionally painful symptoms it is still a misread of a social cue that doesn t convey accurate information about the intent of the person making them feel that way i think this explains a lot of things we currently label as queer infighting for example where minor comments that are usually manageable socially can just totally annihilate a person s confidence and make them feel a deep sense of rejection and because these anecdotes about their rejection are shared without the person really acknowledging or integrating their social anxiety into the equation you get people saying things like i have been completely rejected from queer spaces as a lesbian because people hate me and what they really mean is that they had a very uncomfortable interaction with someone at a community event which made them a socially anxious person scared to ever come back and to a socially anxious person this feels very real i think the only answer is to just address it at the root and give more people a sense of empowerment to reassess their rejection issues because you can t just turn around and go well maybe that s how you felt but did that really happen because it s also within our interests to take people at their word since plenty of bigotry does exist but i think for some reason while depression and adhd and a bunch of other shit is understood to be treatable for some reason when a person is in like a social prison of their own creation through minor identity or niche social dynamics they re rarely furnished with the tools to overcome that personally i think rejection is a spectrum and we should all encourage each other to have agency and question the role social anxiety plays our social lives even if we also experience real bigotry a lot of those intense crushing feelings of total rejection are not a normal feeling share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 14 hours ago 215 notes a large portion of internet political infighting would be eliminated in a world where we treat social anxiety as the curable treatable condition it is for the majority of people lol share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 14 hours ago 215 notes like tumblr is best when it s a true stream of consciousness it turns out the person who i thought was sending those messages irl wasn t the one it was so now it s like ok cool i have someone who i truly don t know doing this which is almost worse than it being a person who s mentally unwell and who i had a minor falling out with spiraling at me share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 15 hours ago 20 notes it truly is a shame i have like weirdo stalkers on this site who read everything i say way too closely because it s honestly such a fun platform and i would love to goof off and talk about my life more on here but i ve had to cut way back on it because of the weird messages i get and not even the messages themselves but because regardless of if people message me or not it s clear there are people who read everything i say very closely and analyze it for clues about my life which sucks i wish no one was checking for me that closely so i could be sillier on here and talk about my life and friends more often share on facebook twitter like liked reblog 15 hours ago 26 notes the walkerr...