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a thin able bodied white christian straight guy gets this too some extent it still drives me crazy i don t want to see shows specially made to talk about fat or special fat issues of my favorite shows i want fat people to show up on tv the same way they do in real life about 30 of the time 10 comments may 28 2010 on fat girls and doing it i really loved silvana s post at tigerbeatdown about the recent study indicating that obese teenage girls are more sexually active than their normal weight counter parts silvana made some really great points about the pile of steaming crap that was the msnbc article and i wanted to make just one more a point that is so completely horrible i am sad that i even thought of it but it is a reflection of my life experience and so here it goes a quote from the end of the msnbc article is what made me think of it it s not as though every overweight girl is having sex just because she s overweight chernick added and of course the flip side of that is that parents shouldn t assume that they don t have to worry if their daughters are normal weight perhaps another potential contributing factor to fat girls being more likely to have sex is because parents and other adults in their lives are less worried about them if parents view their daughters as overweight and therefore less likely to be attractive to boys it may be that the parental behavior towards overweight daughters is different than normal weight daughters they may be less protective of them less likely to talk to them about sex and using protection because they see them as less likely to be sexually active and this inaction can then gives the girls more opportunity to have sex and to potentially do so in risky ways i know this sounds terrible and i m not saying that really this is all the parent s fault all of the things that silvana mentioned poor body image early maturity slut shaming regardless of their actions are probably all more likely reasons for the change in rates of sexual activity but for girls at the higher end of the fat spectrum i think their adolescent experience might be not always be about slut shaming and but more who would want to have sex with you messages a story from my childhood once upon a time in a 5th grade class far far away i was pretty much hated by all i think the comments on my attitude problem started around then i had a small group of girlfriends and we generally left the rest of the class to their own devices one day on our return to our classroom i remember my classmates started making comments to me like nice i didn t think you had it in you good going and after some breif detective work i learned that because some of the boys in my class were mad at another boy they spread a rumor that he had slept with me the sex part was so ridiculous to me even at the time i mean i was 10 and i was so catholic it hurt what was upsetting was that it was not so much about me being a slut but about him being disgusting for being willing to have sex with me how s that for fucked up ideas about your own sexuality but i am pretty sure if i had ever wanted to have sex before i had my first boyfriend i probably could have gotten away with it if i had wanted to not after that of course my parents never talked to me about sex they never told me that guys would try to take advantage of me or anything like that most of my friends were allowed to go pretty much anywhere as long as i was around because i was large and can fend off dangerous menfolk no one ever worried about the dangerous menfolk being interested in me there was a friend from my jr high highschool who would also have been classified as obese at the time the way her family treated her was terrible i definetly recall hearing one family member of hers tell her to go eat something when she was upset i am pretty sure that even if she d found like 15 guys to have sex with her in front of her parents they wouldn t have believed she was having sex no one was worried about her having sex they were worried about her being fat i think my mom was more worried i was a lesbian or that i was so fat i was going to die alone so what i m saying is i think that while young thin girls are seen as potential targets and victims of an overly sexual culture by the adults in their lives i think some fat girls are seen as future spinsters there is no worry that they are going to be a slut because who would want to have sex with them anyway and this gives those girls an increased opportunity to act on whatever sexual desires or emotional needs or whatever they have that they think sex is the answer too i know this fat girl for one did a lot of her sexytime over the intertrons when i was 12 i was pretending i was 14 and 15 and having cybersex with guys on the internet and maybe that sounds terrible to the ears of parents of 12 year old but i had a lot of fun and it never scarred me in anyway though i realize now how old some of those people i was talking to probably were and that s a little creepy and i am glad i listened to my father about the whole no giving out phone numbers or addresses or real names thing as much as i think the framing of this msnbc article was awful in a way i think it is good i think it is an excellent reminder that fat girls are sexual beings too and that if we are going to police the behavior of girls to protect their precious virginities from whatever horrible thing happens to them when they have sex locusts we run out of ritual sacrifices i don t know then we should be policing all of them not just the ones we think are mad hotties 7 comments april 28 2010 medical care as a fat person the trust problem it is hardly revolutionary for me to point out that doctors are dickheads to fat people i just want to observe breifly that no matter how prepared you are to deal with medical bs upon visiting a doctor it still really really sucks and part of why it sucks is that as a fat person it is i think even harder to just trust your doctors my boyfriend mr i who has congenital hypothyroid finally went to the doctor last week after two years with no insurance and a sixweek wait for an appointment we were finally there he was finally going to get the medication he needs to feel fairly normal my optimism levels were high so it was pretty crushing to find out that his doctor spent about 10 minutes trying to figure out why mr i didn t have joint pain since y know he s a fat fat fatty therefore he should have joint pain this was heartbreaking because it meant his doctor was probably going to treat him like a fat guy instead of y know a patient and it is frustrating because even when you are aware that this happens and ready to deal with it you still wish that maybe this time the doctor wont be a total jerk and you ll just be able to get the medical care you need maybe this time you will get medical care with out having to prove that you are indeed an individual capable of independent thought while simultaneously questioning everything your doctor does to determine whether it is motivated by an actual desire to treat you as a patient or whether they are treating your fat but whatever y know doctors are jerks sometimes as long as they write the perscription things will be fine right so bloodtest results come in and they call tell him that his hypothyroid is sub clinical so they will not be treating it they tell him he will have enough to worry about with treating his apparent diabetes now this diagnosis of diabetes is based on one blood test one before which he had not fasted all night but had in fact stayed up until about 3am eating ice cream and drinking soda and then failed to sleep all night the doctors then listed a ton of diabetic symptoms he should have of which he has none but his sugar levels are like omg why arent you dead yet high so we re going with it the doctor and the dietician ordered him to eat no carbs and no sugar of any kind until he got in to see them and even though this is probably a rational medical response to someone with insanely high sugar levels as fat people it was kindof like so you re putting me on the atkins diet really i actually wrote a post over the weekend about this but since i hadn t had carbs in like 2 days it made even less sense than normal the general gist why would anyone do that to themselves on purpose i had to start eating normally just so he and i would not kill each other which is especially bad considering we argue about once a year so here we are again are these doctors totally different doctors by the way from the first one he talked to actually treating him the patient or him the fat guy he s going today to see the doctor and get medication for his diabetes and a glucose meter and then meeting with a registered dietician if he gets through the rd appointment without making her cry i will be happy reasons he will probably make her cry 1 he hasn t eaten carbs in a week and is an angry panda 2 he went to culinary school and took a ton of nutrition and anatomy classes so really doesn t enjoy being treated like he knows nothing 3 she proudly announced to him that milk has sugar in it as though it were not obvious to everyone thus displaying mental weakness to the raging predator that is my boyfriend i am hoping that these meetings will go better and i am hoping that they will be able to discuss important issues like how his hypothyroid might affect his ability to manage his sugar levels and how leaving it untreated may not be the greatest idea anyone has ever had i am hoping but i am not hopeful i don t trust these doctors because i don t feel like they trust their patient it doesn t seem like they believe or are even listening to the things he says it seems like we are just supposed to go along with them because they have the word doctor in front of their name they aren t trying to earn his trust or treat him well the doc who told him he had diabetes kept being all i fell like i ve just dropped a bombshell on you well maybe you should be a little less worried about your feelings here doc hmm i think people who are not fat as well as many medical professionals are unaware of the serious trust gap between medical professionals and fat people who ve been told that their rash pain infection brain tumor will go away if they just stop being fat studies have shown that medical professionals do not trust fat patients but i think it is also important to point out that some of their fat patients don t trust them either and for good reason being a trained medical professional is not proof of infallibility or impartiality that is not enough for everyone some people want to actually understand why you are making this diagnosis and to be treated like an adult some of us want you to prove that you are right about things so that we know you aren t diagnosing our fat instead of our medical problems some of us end up wishing we had never gone to the doctor in the first place 32 comments march 31 2010 clothing now available in non fat i don t really know what cnn s thoughts were when they published this article as though it is somehow a revolutionary concept to dress your body so you look less fat it is as if they have not watched any other tv channel in the last 10 years oh i see charla krupp has new book out called never look fat again because ladies we all know fat is the worst possible thing you can look and if you like me are thinking but what if i am fat do not despair this cnn article has a helpful bit of advice for us but there is hope she says even women size 16 or 18 can look their best if they make the right choices those begin with what s under the outfits that s right ladies as long as we just make the right choices for instance choosing supportive shape wear to smooth out the dreaded back fat that can ruin your appearance or wear long billowing sleeves to hide fatty arms i don t generally have a problem with fashion books i m not really into fashion but some ladies could use some helpful tips clinton stacey please call my mom please but this book isn t selling itself as a book to help you look better ito help you put your best foot forward it is a book designed to help you avoid the dreaded f a t what i find particularly horrifying is the open acknowledgement that everbody has some fat from the book s website the truth is even if you do lose weight and even if you commit yourself to serious exercise you re probably still going to have some flab even thin women may have hanging skin on their upper arms tummy and tush so make sure you hide it ladies we wouldn t want our bodies to look like they might actually be flawed how many ways are there to potentially look fat well a lot also from the website the book is organized by issue such as big bust muffin top back fat and buddha belly while some of the topics may seem wacky at first are your brows making you look fat and hiding fat with your bag that s right thought you just wanted to make sure your skirt fit properly and was flattering no no you must make sure your eyebrows are shaped just so so you don t look like a fat fat fatty oh and your bag better be big enough to hide that ass girl or you re going to look like you just don t care y know maybe she has some great tips for dressing your body and looking fabulous but i can t help feel like all this book does is plays on what society has taught every woman to fear fat the worst possible thing you could possibly be oh except for the premise of her other book how not to look old blech 7 comments march 29 2010 i am proud to pay my taxes i was reading my twitter feed today and i was linked to a video advocating the flat tax i m not totally sure about whether or not the flat tax is actually a good idea for the economy of this country but what i do know is that the people who are advocating it are advocating it for one reason it protects the wealth of the already wealthy the comments are the usual conservative rhetoric about taxes i m paraphrasing here if you support a progressive tax system you are a communist trying to steal from me and give it to the poor you robin hood bastard i often find it hilarious how some individuals with mid to low income will also advocate this point of view based on the idea that they too will some day be wealthy i try not to laugh the illusion that if you just work hard enough you will be rich is a ridiculous falsehood propegated by the wealthy to keep the poor in this country from lynching them i know i would never be as well off as i am now if i had not had the vast opportunities given to me by my wealthy parents to pretend that i deserved to go to a new ivy school and therefore make several times what other people my age make would be lying to myself and everyone else additionally i have my wealthy parents to help me buy a house and get out of debt when i have health issues or make poor choices i learned and i worked hard but i will not pretend that my income is the result of some virtuous act on my part...